Sleep Training | How I Sleep Trained Connor at 4 Months Old

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hey guys so today we're gonna be talking

about sleep training Connor this is

probably the number one topic that I get

messaged about on Instagram so I decided

that I would do a video to talk about it

share with you guys our experience I'm

not a sleep consultant or an expert so

please note that the advice in this

video was tailored to Conor and he just

had a really good nap so hopefully he's

cool about being in this video with us

so we never actually officially sleep

trained Tommy and as a result he was

never really a great sleeper we never

had a schedule or a plan so I knew that

with Connor I didn't want to make that

mistake and I reached out to a sleep

consultant right around when he was 16

weeks old because he was waking up

multiple times in the night he was

sleeping next to me and so this advice

was from the sleep consultant that we

hired from Boston naps here in Boston so

first she asked me what we were doing

what was working what wasn't the first

thing that she told me was that we

needed to put him to bed sleepy but

awake this is something that we had been

doing next she said we were going to

ditch the swaddle this was not something

we had attempted yet then she

recommended that we move Connor into the

room with Tommy where I am right now as

you can see his crib and Tommy's bed are

very close together we moved to Tommy

out of his crib a little early I would

say because we didn't want to buy

another crib temporarily we really

didn't need one for very long next she

told us that we needed to abide by the

ten twenty forty rule what that is you

put the baby down if he cries for ten

minutes you can go in tap the baby say

hey buddy you okay you're okay and then

you leave ten seconds

Connor is in a hair phase Thank You

Connor for eating my hair in this video

then you go ahead and you leave the baby

and you double the time that you just

gave them to put themselves to sleep so

next you would wait 20 minutes so yes

that means you're listening to them cry

for 20 minutes sadly and then you can go

in again give him a little pat hey

you're okay buddy and then leave again

for 40 minutes when it came to going

down to go to bed

Connor really didn't cry very long we

rarely had to

the whole 20 minutes and the idea is

that you want to stay consistent with

what time you're going to bed and kind

of your routine our routine is really


I bring Conor up I read him a book I put

on a new diaper I put on his sleep sock

I nurse him in a quiet dark room and

then I bring him into his crib with a

sound machine we used the dome sound

machine I sing twinkle twinkle little

star I put him down I say goodnight baby

Connor and then I leave I shut the door

that's when the ten minutes starts so

going down to go to bed was not a hard

thing for Connor to learn he's pretty

good about it what we struggled with was

him waking up in the middle of the night

of course number one because I was

breastfeeding him I was nursing him so

this is what our sleep consultant

recommended in the beginning I chose to

nurse him once during the night she said

if he wakes up before 2:30 do not go to

him let him cry do the 10 20 40 will you

had asked what I did about him sharing a

room with Tommy so yeah sleep training

two kids in the city was challenging the

fact of the matter is a couple times

Tommy did not wake up and other times

Tommy would wake up and he would get out

of his bed and he would come in our room

and he would sleep with us we're not

totally cool with that but while we're

sleep training Connor that's fine so

that's how that is working in our house

we finally got to a point where Connor

was just waking up that one time in the

middle of the night but then he would

wake up again at 3 or 4 or 5 sometimes

you know we would get that big one chunk

we would get that big stretch and then

he would continue to wake up so again

with those additional wake up's you have

to use that 10 2014 6 30 week ago and we

could get him for the day in the end we

ended up just doing the extinction

method which is you just don't even go

in at all you just let him cry that was

really hard to do but eventually we did

get him to go back down after that one

feed until 6:30 or 7:00 or 7:15 if he

was crying for a little bit longer then

Connor got the croup we had to move him


to our room we basically had to start

the sleep training process all over

again which took about four days total

but then I decided that I wanted to get

rid of the middle of the night feed we

successfully got rid of it cold turkey

again he would wake up at 3:00 if we'd

have to let him cry 10 20 40 then it

moved to four then it moved to five and

then he just slept through the night

then we went away for Thanksgiving and

we had to do sleep training all over


you need to stick to your guns your

child needs to learn how to self-soothe

there's nothing in their crib there's no

binky's there's no lovey's nothing all

they're wearing is their sleep sack they

need a dark room and they need a little

bit of ambient noise like a sound

machine and they just need to learn how

to put themselves back to sleep you and

I we don't sleep straight through the

night we wake up we go to the bathroom

we go back to bed and we put ourselves

back to sleep that's what we're trying

to teach these infants that they can

learn these skills that they can use

honestly throughout the rest of their

lives of course there are different

cries and you know a lot of times I

can't let Connor cry it out I can't last

night even though we've been doing this

for over a month now I did feed him in

the middle of the night the sleep

training consultant that we used she

said to drop that have your pump next to

your bed all set ready to go just pump a

little bit to take the edge off of you

and within a few days it will regulate

if you have any questions let me know

down below in the comments I didn't want

to make this video too long but I kind

of just wanted to give you the tools

essentially you just need to decide

before you go to bed we are not gonna go

in tonight we are gonna stay strong okay

and that's kind of what Nick and I had

to do I felt bad

letting Connor cry because I thought he

was ruining Nick and Tommy and my nights

sleep when I knew I could go in and

nurse him and he would go right back

down and go to bed however I stuck to my

guns two or three nights in a row by the

fourth night

Connor was sleeping 7:00 to 6:30

of course we just went to New York and

that kind of you know we now have to

start from scratch again but already he

did a longer stretch last night and I am

confident in two or three days we will

be back to our seven to seven or seven

to 6:30 routine that's all I've got to

say today don't leave your troll

comments below because each mom has to

do what's best for her and I'm just

sharing what works for us I'm Sarah

subscribe to my channel and I'll see you