How to train
2 Year Old To Sleep Alone
Sleep Problems in Kids - #AskTheMayoMom
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I'm dr. Angela Mackey I am a general
pediatrician here in Rochester Minnesota
and I think more importantly since we're
doing the ask the Mayo mom segment I am
a mom of two active boys I have a six
month old and I have a three year old
and I'd have to say that right now I'm
living and breathing sleep problems in
my practice I think the number one
question that parents come to me about
is about sleep problems that they're
having with their young children and and
that is not the exception in our house
as well
the biggest question about that I get is
when compared and start start sleep
training and is it okay for them to let
their their infants learn to how to
self-soothe on their own and the answer
to that is yes absolutely it's okay and
somewhere between four and six months of
age is when most pediatricians will say
that it's acceptable to let them start
to self-soothe after about four to six
months of age there really isn't a
reason that they need to eat
physiologically at night they don't need
it for their brain they don't need it
for their glucose levels they should be
able to go at least eight hours at night
without feeding and so the next question
that parents have is is this gonna
affect my child emotionally if I allow
them to cry a little bit or learn to
calm themselves down and put themselves
back to sleep and my my answer would be
no it's not going to affect their bond
with you at all it won't affect their
emotional connection it won't affect the
development and we've actually have good
research on that that is actually
studied this and I think that's can be
reassuring at least to me as a parent as
well to be able to say you know what
you know they've studied this these kids
do well they're just as well attached to
their parents they do as well in social
settings as other kids so if it's
something that you and your family feels
comfortable with it's completely
acceptable to do and so right now I'm
getting up the courage to start that
myself with my six-month-old and letting
him to put himself back to sleep a
little bit more instead of always
needing me to kind of come in and
that's all there other questions that I
get are related to sleep are one of what
to do with the kid that wakes up at
night and wants to come into your
bedroom I think the first question you
need to decide is that's is that
something that you're okay with do you
want your child to be sleeping in your
bed with you and if that is something
that you're comfortable with then then
can you can certainly continue to do
that but if it's if your goal is to get
your child to be able to go back to
sleep on their own and stay in their
home in bed and then there are some some
techniques and things that we can do to
kind of help coach you in your child to
get to that point
some things that work really well and
children in general are using just
positive reinforcements and praise and
encouragement when we tend to use
negative reinforcements and children it
usually does not work as well for the
general outcome that you want and your
kids will have more negative
associations with it so your child is
getting up at night coming into your
bedroom you can start by maybe making a
sticker chart and talking to them about
every night that you stay in your own
bed you could get a sticker and you
ultimately are working towards a goal
for them including your child in those
goals and helping them to determine
things that they're working for could
really help with the engagement process
be more successful long-term some other
things you can do is really talk to them
before the bed time happens before
they're tired and they have less ability
to kind of use coping on their own so
spending time talking about it during
the daytime saying let's see we're gonna
practice stayin on our bed tonight
instead of waiting until they're overly
tired before bedtime other things that
can really help is making sure you're
getting your child to bed with a good
bedtime routine now I know just as well
as everyone at bedtime is usually pretty
chaotic in those houses but trying to
have a regular time that you all start
to unwind is really important other
things that can make bedtime more
difficult is watching a lot of screen
time before bedtime
we know that watching screen time such
as being on tablets computers video
games are
on their TVs can really activate part of
the brain and makes it harder for them
to relax and unwind that night so really
trying to at least the hour before
bedtime no spend time also trying to
engage in activities that are kind of
calming for them so just telling stories
or reading books together taking baths
and having you know quiet music on
instead of running around the house
playing take and and having dance
parties and stuff like that trying to
you know set expectations in advance
like I said before is also really
helpful I've got a question here from
one of our viewers is 7:30 to 7:45 a
good bedtime for a four-year-old sure I
think it all depends on what time they
are getting up in the morning so a lot
of a four-year-old should have about 12
hours of sleep on average throughout the
day and that's a wide spectrum so normal
can be anywhere from 10 to 14 hours and
so if they're going to bed at 7:30 and
they're getting up at 6 7 o'clock that
seems completely appropriate I think you
have to base it on how your child acts
are they tired in the morning when they
get up are they tired throughout the
daytime if that's the case then maybe
moving the bed time up a little bit the
best way to move the bed time up is move
it up by about 15 minutes every couple
nights to get to your goal bedtime so
instead of making a huge adjustment kids
can slowly kind of readjust they're in
their sleep Clark
so this will get better the first thing
you need to do is just be consistent
about it trying not to engage your too
much when she wakes up at 3 or 4 o'clock
in the morning so keeping the lights low
not trying to smile and play in sing
songs and those sort of things if your
goal is to try to get her back to bed
the first thing I want to know is is if
the family is comfortable with letting
her kind of play in her crib on her own
and seeing if she will fall back and
sleep sometimes it can take very long
time
parents will use kind of progressively
letting them be on their own a little
bit longer each night increasing it by
about five minutes or so some families
will do the cold turkey approach where
they let them kind of bus in their own
they'll check on them from the door make
sure that they're okay and Thursday
defying the leave alone I think that's
certainly fine approach to do whatever
you decide to do if you have a partner
that you are that lived at home with you
that would be best to kind of talk
together figure out what your approach
is and then stick to it I think the
hardest thing is is in the moment being
feeling weak and saying oh I'm gonna go
in and and you know go pick my child up
and we're gonna go downstairs it's my
bed so once you kind of break whatever
your plan was going forward you kind of
have to start all over
