think

How to Beat the KILLER GATORS in "CRAWL" (2019) - Part 1



Sharing buttons:

If you made every wrong decision possible  when a hurricane was hitting your home,  

what would you do? In this How to Beat video, we’ll follow  

the Kellers, see if we can make better decisions,  and ultimately attempt to beat the ALLIGATORS in,  

CRAWL. If you think you have a better way, let  me know in the comments! If you like these how to  

beat videos, consider liking and subscribing. We start out following Haley, competing at a swim  

meet in Florida. Oh man, I know what this is.  They are showing us that she’s a competitive  

swimmer as a form of narrative framing in an  attempt to make it somewhat believable when  

she inevitably outswims an alligator later in  the movie. But it’s not going to fool me.  

All you need to do is take 5 seconds to  Google, “How fast can alligators swim”,  

and you’ll come up with 20 miles per hour on  average. To put how fucked she would be in  

perspective, Michael Phelps peaks at a meager 6  miles per hour. Good luck outswimming something  

over 3 times as fast as Michael Phelps.  That’s like you trying to outswim another  

human sprinting on land. Not going to happen. Alligators are not to be underestimated on land  

either. They may seem like slow and lethargic  beasts that just float around in the water,  

but when they decide to strike they can  be shockingly quick. Humans can run about  

20 miles per hour on average, and a gator can  only manage half that for very short distances.  

But. They are dangerous because they have  ludicrous mode levels of acceleration and can get  

up to that 10 miles per hour in the blink of an  eye. They’re ambush predators afterall. Basically,  

if you aren’t paying attention to an  alligator that’s 20 or 30 feet away,  

it’ll probably catch you. There are videos of  alligators catching cheetahs. One of the fastest  

animals on the planet. Cheetahs can go 0-60 in 3  seconds. If they can’t get away I don’t think your  

average American stands a chance. Oh and to top it  all off, they can climb trees and fences too.  

Why are we even suggesting or considering  that Haley could outswim a gator when  

she can’t even beat other people. I’m sure this arrogance will fuel some  

bad decision making. Look i’m not saying  we aren’t at the top of the food chain,  

but nature can be a merciless vicious bitch  if you swim outside of your lane.  

Back in the locker room Haley just now realizes  that a category 5 hurricane is about to hit them,  

and mandatory evacuations are underway. Category 5  hurricanes can have winds exceeding 175 miles per  

hour and storm surges above 20 feet. Houses get  ripped off their foundations and float down the  

street at these levels, and you just now heard  about it and shrugged it off like it was just  

a light tropical storm passing through? Haley was probably too distracted playing Raid:  

Shadow Legends to realize that the hurricane’s  path shifted towards her. You too, can get  

dangerously immersed in Raid, exploring millions  of Champion combinations and mastering countless  

tactics as you take on raid bosses, dungeon runs,  campaign battles, and PvP Arena matches.  

There are 16 different factions, such as Orcs,  High Elves, Dark elves, Dwarves, and each faction  

has many unique champions. With over 500 champions  total, you can build your team, develop your  

Champions, and Raid until your power goes and you  realize everyone in your town was evacuated.  

It’s free to play on both mobile and PC, so use  my link in the description to download it.  

Later in the movie I theorize that these Crawl  alligators were being bred for intelligence and  

aggression. They are basically the precursors  to Broadmaw and Gator from The Lizardmen  

faction. These behemoths evolved to walk  on their hind legs and use weapons and  

armor. Haley and Dave are lucky their gators  haven’t evolved into these bio-tanks yet.  

Raid recently released its biggest ever  update, the Doom Tower. It’s a giant tower  

with 120 floors, a bunch of Secret Challenge  Rooms, and 12 badass Bosses to take on.  

There’s a bunch of new Champions and events coming  this month, including special Valentine’s Day  

events, so now’s a great time to get started. Click the link in the description to get  

50,000 silver, 50 gems, 1 energy refill, 1 clan  boss key, 5 mystery shards, 1 day xp booster,  

and 1 free champion, Hexweaver. But only if you’re  a new player and only for the next 30 days.  

All this treasure will be waiting for you here.  Good luck, you probably will need it.  

On one hand it’s tempting to be super critical  of her for being so careless and nonchalant,  

on the other hand, I ignore tornado  warnings because come on, what are  

the chances it actually hits me.. But, back on the first hand, hurricanes  

are arguably far more dangerous. A tornado  is likely just going to destroy a mobile  

home park in bumfuck Missouri, whereas a hurricane  will wipe out entire regions of coastline states.  

I’d say she has a lot more reason  to be worried than I ever do.  

In U.S. history, the worst Hurricane caused 10  times the damage that the worst tornado did. Oh,  

and she lives in Florida where alligators  eat people, so yah, I feel justified and  

in no way a hypocrite for condemning Haley whilst  habitually ignoring natural disasters myself.  

A rogue wave from the hurricane  hasn’t even broken through,  

and they are already losing track of each other.  From what I cared to overhear on their phone call,  

the family is fractured from divorce and  animosity. They’re all somewhat repulsed  

by each other, yet simultaneously share a strong  tether of kinship. Their relationships with each  

other are all very complicated and stupid. Which  is why Haley hopped into her jeep to hunt down  

her dad that she hasn’t talked to in forever,  because he went no contact on her sister.  

That’s only when it’s a Sharknado. Haley gets held up at a blockade where  

they’re telling everyone to turn around because  the Hurricane is heading straight towards them.  

It’s already getting pretty bad out by now. It’s  tempting to head back but she looks at her phone.  

Her dad’s face on it pulling her heartstrings.  She can’t leave, not without him.  

With the confidence a jeep instills, and  her above average swimming capabilities,  

she boldly decides to go head on into the  mouth of the hurricane to find him.  

Why didn’t he board up his home? It’s common  practice and this guy is a home contractor.  

Though it might be asking too much from  him considering he doesn’t understand  

how to operate a phone or read the news. This family screwed up on a bunch of things way  

earlier on. Florida is one of the most  hurricane-prone places you could live,  

they definitely should have  had a plan in place already.  

Usually you have days of notice before a hurricane  hits unless your head is in the ground, so there  

should be plenty of time to do what you need to  do and get out in time. The Kellers have money  

and transportation, so there is no reason they  should be staying instead of evacuating.  

They should have checked in on each other,  in person if necessary, before the hurricane  

showed up. This last minute, oh a hurricane is  making landfall and I don’t know where my dad is,  

shit is.. Probably more realistic  than i’d like to admit.  

After getting a proper headcount they should  have made sure that their valuables and  

important documents are either collected or  stored in bolted down waterproof containers,  

preferably in the attic. Their cars  are stocked up with emergency supplies,  

have gas and are in good shape. Their  electricity and gas to the house are  

shut off so it doesn’t flood and burn down  at the same time, which would really suck.  

As well as storm shutters installed over the  windows with any weak points reinforced.  

But most importantly, they need to  have firearms or chainsaws on hand  

just in case sharks start taking flight  in the 150 mile and hour winds..  

In all seriousness, wouldn’t sharks swimming in  the floodwaters be a big problem? Florida does  

have a lot of sharks on it’s coast which attack  and eat the occasional person who swims out too  

far. Turns out, not really. Sharks have an organ  called the lateral line that can sense pressure  

changes indicative of impending hurricanes. When  they sense these pressure changes they swim to  

deeper water to avoid getting washed ashore into  some retiree’s beachside pool or stuck flapping  

on the highway when the tide pulls out. Well what about the 1.3 million alligators  

that live all throughout Florida? Doesn’t  this have potential to form a gator-nado,  

or a gator-iccane, gator-cane? Again, not  really. Attacks in Florida are very rare,  

with 24 confirmed fatal alligator attacks  since 1973. I'd bet most of those deaths  

were caused by idiots trying to feed  or take up-close pictures of them.  

Despite their walnut sized brain, they aren’t  stupid when it comes to weathering storms either.  

Like sharks, they detect the pressure  changes of an impending hurricane and  

hunker down in their natural habitats. Doesn’t mean they can’t end up in your backyard  

due to massive flooding though. Or find them in your dining room.  

These sorts of situations are statistically  rare enough that it’d be reasonable for Haley  

to not really expect a similar encounter. Still, having firearms for defense during natural  

disaster situations isn’t a bad idea. Besides  potential encounters with predatory wildlife,  

there are lots of opportunists and criminals  that would take advantage of the chaos. Never  

hurts to have some big iron on your hip. No sign of him at the condo, his truck is gone  

too so he must be out somewhere else. Unless this  dude is a complete psychopath, he wouldn’t just  

leave Sugar behind. She could wait for him to  come back, but the lack of storm shutters and  

emergency supplies, the unanswered calls, the half  drunk bottle of bourbon on the table, all suggest  

this dude got snapped up. If he was going to get  supplies, he should have done it days ago.  

Knowing about their other house from  the divorce, it’s likely he would be  

there doing something. He sure as hell isn’t on  the job right now. Haley should leave a note,  

grab Sugar, and head to their old house  immediately while sending Beth an update.  

Or she could instead take a stroll down memory  lane and reminisce about a time when she actually  

won swim competitions and had a strong loving  father-daughter relationship. Did she all of the  

sudden forget that a category five hurricane is  about to rain hell on them and that her dad is  

potentially in a life-threatening condition? No, shit. It’s because everyone evacuated,  

because there’s a hurricane. Finally she wises  up and heads to their old house leftover from  

the divorce. At least Haley is providing text  updates. If something bad happens to her,  

which is increasingly likely with the  cat 5 hurricane arriving in force by now,  

Beth will at least have a last known location she  can send to rescuers once the storm passes.  

His truck ‘is’ here, which is a good sign  because we know he didn’t get swept into a  

flooded ravine while trying to escape. If that  was the case, well, there would be no finding  

him and with how ferocious these alligators  are he would certainly be dead meat.  

None of these people bothered to board up the  windows or even shut the doors to their house  

either. What are they even doing? There’s no sign of her dad so far.  

Haley calls his phone one more time,  and not only is the ringtone volume on,  

but it has cell service, received multiple  messages from concerned family members,  

and had evacuation alerts. If only  he put his phone in his pocket.  

Speaking of, why do older folks not keep  their phone on them most of the time?  

Your phone is about as useful as a rock if you  don’t have it on you. Yah yah, they don’t feel  

the need to be connected at all times like an  addicted millennial would, but at least keep it  

on you during a fucking natural disaster. Haley’s investigation continues, as she spots a  

bunch of tools next to the sink. Don’t tell me  he was doing some last minute plumbing. Could  

the screenwriters really not think of a better  reason he’d be missing and unconscious.  

That’s why you board up the windows, in case you  were wondering. And the garage door is up too.  

Does Barry not understand the  concept of shutting doors?  

Like a good doggo, Sugar alerts Haley to the  crawl space entrance. As stupid as it seems,  

all clues are pointing to him being down  there. With the mud, dead animals, debris,  

and god knows what else down there, I’d think  taking a minute to put some gloves, proper pants  

and shoes on would be wise. I gotta believe  she still has some old clothes here. Or you  

could just go for it in capris and sandals. I know it’s your dad and all, but if he really  

is down here, he’s definitely a candidate  for a Darwin award. At some point you just  

have to cut the dead weight off, like  his wife did when she divorced him.  

Haley keeps trudging onwards, stumbling  into more clues which eventually lead her  

to Barry lying in the mud unconscious. I was really holding out for there being some  

legitimate reason he’s down here. Or  that he wasn’t down here in the first  

place but the gator dragged him down here.  Nope. It’s now confirmed. Barry Pepper,  

during a category 5 hurricane, was in the crawl  space of a house nobody lives in, trying to fix  

the plumbing for a sink nobody uses. I have. No words. I think we could probably  

wrap this video up and say that we could have  beaten the gators in crawl by not being total  

fucking idiots. But let’s just continue as  if Barry was doing everything correctly,  

but somehow he was knocked unconscious by a  flying 2x4 and dragged by a gator under the  

crawl space to feed on him later, where Haley  with her supreme detective work finds him.  

The most obvious animal that would cause  a bite wound like that is an alligator,  

considering the size of the bite and.. all  the gator signs around their home.  

While alligators aren’t known to attack unprovoked  or prey upon humans, it can still happen if they  

feel threatened or you enter their nest. Some  alligators may have been washed up to their house  

and found a new home in the crawl space. Barry  crawling into their nest probably both threatened  

and startled them so they attacked. Some sources say that alligators are more scared  

of humans than we are of them, and that’s why  human attacks are rare. I’m calling BS on that.  

I’m definitely more scared of them which  is why I stay way out of their reach.  

These things attack lions. And they’re  scared of us. Yah, okay bro.  

They don’t fuck around when you’re in their  territory. Just go on YouTube or LiveLeak and  

type in alligator attacks. I still remember  that story of a 2 year old getting snatched  

and killed by an alligator at a Disney resort  in Florida. The dad attacked the alligator  

but couldn’t stop the alligator from dragging  his son into the lagoon. Truly horrific.  

While alligators are a serious threat, the bigger  issue is Barry’s current condition worsening.  

Haley did a good job by checking for a pulse and  listening for breathing, and luckily he’s got both  

because emergency services won’t be responding.  This isn’t a national guard commercial, no gung-ho  

20 year old is going to rappel out of a blackhawk  helicopter in the nick of time just for you.  

First thing she should do is thoroughly  check the bite wound to ensure that he  

doesn’t have severe bleeding. An adult male  will die if they lose half a gallon of blood.  

Pulse and respiration are worthless if  he’s going to bleed out in 5 to 10 minutes.  

Barry doesn’t appear to be hemorrhaging.  Onto the next potential problem.  

If the bacterial infection caused by all the  rotting flesh in the gator’s mouth causes  

septic shock, which it seems to be doing. If he  loses 15-20% of his blood. If his neck, head,  

chest wall or lungs got injured. If he had  fluid build up in his lungs. Or if anything  

else happens that seizes up his respiration  and heart rate, he’s in deep shit.  

If his breathing stopped, she’d have to drag  him out of there and drive through the low flood  

waters to the nearest operational hospital while  giving him a rescue breath every 5 to 6 seconds.  

Even 5 to 10 minutes without oxygen to the brain  can cause serious and irreversible brain damage.  

I don’t think Haley could effectively do this.  At minimum, Barry would have brain damage,  

but most likely would be dead. If his pulse stopped too,  

doing all that ‘and’ having to give  chest compressions is just not going  

to be possible. Barry would 100% be dead. While it looked like the house was situated on  

a bit of a hill, this hurricane is just kicking  off so flood waters could quickly rise above  

it and drown him if she doesn’t get him to high  ground. But that’s just part of the problem. If  

the floodwaters reach 3 feet or higher, she won’t  be able to make the drive to a hospital without  

getting lifted and swept away. That is, unless  you got the keys to one of these bad boys.  

To state the obvious, she needs to get him out of  there ASAP. Which is a lot easier said than done.  

She needs to be weary of his injuries and not just  yank him which could worsen the situation.  

As an ex-volunteer firefighter who’s practiced  rescue carries and drags, manually dragging a  

lifeless human that weighs 50 more pounds than  you through debris-filled mud in a confined space  

where you can’t stand up at all is very difficult.  And she’s barefooted with muddy hands. Again,  

maybe slippers weren’t the best choice when  trying to rescue your dad in a hurricane.  

Since he’s breathing and has a pulse, the  absolute best thing she could do is help  

him regain consciousness. He probably passed  out due to the pain of his collar bone being  

snapped like a wishbone, the emotional  stress of the attack, loss of blood,  

dehydration, and possibly septic shock depending  on how long it’s been since the attack.  

Haley should loosen any constrictive clothing,  lift his legs above his heart level to aid in  

blood circulation, and get him some water.  Rain water, not that sewage flowing in.  

They say not to shake and slap someone that passed  out, but I think Barry’s an exception.  

He ‘should’ regain consciousness and can  then crawl his own dumbass out of there.  

If that doesn’t work, finding a tarp to  put him on will reduce the friction and  

make dragging him substantially easier. Which she  conveniently has nearby. Good thinking Haley.  

Welp ladies and gents, I think we did it. I  think we successfully saved Barry Pepper from  

drowning and getting eaten by alligators. Just  a few more steps and we can get him in the car  

and take him to a hospital where he can get sewed  up, take some antibiotics and be good as new.  

Oh come on. An alligator isn’t going to bust  through a wooden staircase like the kool aid man.  

Haley is lucky this alligator already has a  belly full of human meat, because they can move  

way faster than that. Remember, these  things can pounce cheetahs. Haley trying  

to pull 180 pounds of dead weight in the mud  with her bare hands and feet is a joke.  

If she can’t run, literally, what options does  she have? What should anyone do when confronted  

by an alligator like this. Well, basically  what she did, as futile as it would be.  

Unloading a Benelli M4 full of  slugs into its face is your best  

bet. Crawling away as quickly as possible is your  second best bet. You can’t puff your chest out,  

make loud noises, or play dead with gators. Your only chance to survive is to fight back  

before it catches you and starts death rolling  you, and the only weakness you can realistically  

exploit is gouging it’s eyes. The problem with  this strat, is that it’s eyes are located behind  

it’s giant pissed off mouth. I’m starting to  think the internet is bullshitting us about  

how to defend against an alligator attack. If you, a tuk tuk driver making an oil delivery..  

For some reason just go with me here,  rounded the corner of a backstreet and  

were confronted with an American Abrams tank,  according to the internet, you should try to  

board it and spray paint it’s optics while it’s  trying to crush you under it’s treads. Unless  

you’re Dominic Toretto, that ain’t happenin. Yah let me juke it’s business end, baseball slide  

up next to it, board the prehistoric monster like  a fucking bull rider, thumb it’s eyeballs before  

it rolls it’s 800 pounds of weight onto you, then  dismount the writhing pissed off beast without its  

tail sweeping your legs and shattering them into a  hundred pieces. What could possibly go wrong.  

Then again, They don’t really  have any other options.  

If it did explode towards them and bite down on  his legs with it’s 3000 pounds per square inch of  

jaw strength, it will crush his femurs and it’s  inch and a half to 2 inch long teeth will sink  

deep into his flesh, enough to potentially  sever arteries. If that didn’t wake him up,  

I don’t know what would. With that kind of jaw  strength, it’s impossible to pry it’s mouth  

open and get free. If there’s water nearby it’ll  immediately drag him into it and death roll him  

until he drowns. If there’s no water nearby, it’ll  just roll him on the ground until he dies..  

Once a gator starts death rolling you, it’s  pretty much over. It is called death rolling for  

a reason. It disorients you, knocks the air out  of you, breaks your bones, rips your limbs off,  

and the power and speed of the thrashing makes  it near impossible to use whatever non-ripped  

off limbs you have left to fight back. This would all happen in a few seconds.  

The gator would then take his lifeless body  back to it’s den where it would wait for his  

corpse to start rotting before tearing pieces  off to eat. Gator don’t play no shit.  

With no Benelli on hand, I think she  should just drop her dad and use him  

as a tasty distraction so she can escape with  Sugar. Haley’s much more merciful than I am,  

summons some adrenaline strength and starts  hauling Barry back the way she came.  

Her wardrobe continues to malfunction,  and her phone falls out of her capri pants  

fashionably small pockets. She really  didn’t think this outfit through.  

This dude even had a radio telling him  a hurricane was coming while he was  

plumbing in the crawl space. Jesus christ. Haley pulls Barry back to where she found him,  

which was conveniently blocked off just  enough for them to get through but not  

the gator. I’m surprised she remembered how  to get back in this maze of crawl space with  

a gator snapping at her dad's feet. The gator isn’t the only thing they need  

to worry about, that hurricane that nobody  seems to give a shit about is picking up.  

Dave, yah i’ll start using his real name  now, is just now regaining consciousness,  

‘after’ pulling him out of the gators  jaws. Good timing bro. Take your time.  

Soaking the jacket to get him some water  is pretty clever. Haley is scoring about  

a 7/10 right now. I had to knock some  points off for the slippers and capris,  

but she’s been pretty resourceful. Must have  gotten more of her mothers genetics.  

Of course he would say something like that, being  a dumbass is perfectly on brand. He then says,  

“what’s happening with this storm”, oh, you  mean the category 5 hurricane you completely  

disregarded? Yah, it’s getting pretty bad.  I liked this guy better unconscious.  

To be fair, he’s probably in a bit  of shock, as evidenced by him not  

realizing his leg was snapped in two. He  really needs to get a splint on that.  

Oh no, Haley’s phone received a message, now she  has to go get it so she can text her friend back.  

I’m about to deduct her score to 6/10 here.  Going for your phone is just too much risk for  

too little gain. Who are you going to call? Beth?  Her inability to rescue you should be obvious.  

The police or animal control? Good luck with that,  I'm sure they’ll want to risk their lives fishing  

alligators out of your basement during a hurricane  in this fictional world where gators are this  

cunning, aggressive, and deadly. Hell, in this fictional world,  

I don’t understand why anyone would ever live  in Florida. It’d be like living in Jurassic Park  

with the power out. Nope, I think I can deal  with a few cold winter months instead.  

Look, I'd get it if your uncle was Jocko Willink,  who would swim through the hurricane's flood  

waters to get to you, choking out any gators that  got in his way with his biceps. Actually, he’d  

probably answer the phone and just say good. Dad went missing in a category 5 hurricane?  

Found him unconscious and bleeding  out from an alligator attack?  

Got attacked by more alligators and now you’re  both trapped in a flooding crawl space.  

They have the opportunity to reevaluate  why you made such horrible decisions.  

We all know they won’t though. Time for galaxy brain move. They could just  

break through the wood floor above them. It’s so  obvious and simple, I would’ve thought that even  

Dave and Haley could figure this out, but they  never do. With them being trapped in a crawl  

space being so central to the plot, why wouldn’t  you choose a house that had a concrete slab over  

the basement so it’s actually realistic. From this shot it just looks like some old wooden  

planks held in by rusty nails. They could probably  lay on their backs and kick them loose. Well,  

Haley could. Dave could probably kick some  boards loose with one leg though. They wouldn’t  

even need to kick them loose, later on in the  movie we see Dave crawl a few feet from their  

safe space to grab his tool belt and shovel.  They should easily be able to pry and push  

the boards above them loose and escape. Dave  is a home contractor for fucks sake, how was  

this option never tried this entire movie. Yep, Haley decides that securing her Iphone is the  

best method for getting out of here. Could she  at least go around her dad instead of crawling  

over his shattered leg. I don’t like Dave at  all, but he’s your dad and there’s no reason  

to risk kneeing his fractured tibia. Her dad tells her to go around to the left,  

because he thinks it’s safer. You literally  just became conscious. You have no idea where  

the alligator is or what has happened since  you got bitten. What would possibly make you  

think that that is a safer route? If anything,  taking the longer, more convoluted maze route  

is far more dangerous than a straight shot to  the phone where you can quickly backtrack back  

past the pipes if necessary. After giving her shitty directions,  

Professor Dave then starts doling out some  unfounded alligator facts to Haley. Thanks,  

but I don’t think i’m going to be taking  advice from the dude who put himself in  

a precarious position and got bitten. I’d bet  my life his gator-facts are bullshit too.  

He first tells her that alligators can’t hear  out of the water. Patently false. Then he  

says that they can see in the dark well. That’s  actually true, they do have great night vision,  

but still, it's pretty common sense. His last  piece of advice is that alligators aren’t as fast  

out of the water. This is technically true,  they are faster in the water. But when you’re  

forced to crawl barefeet in the mud, they are  definitely way faster than you. Telling Haley  

this is horribly misleading and just gives her  extremely dangerous levels of confidence.  

I’m surprised Dave lived long  enough to have kids.