ASPD: The Psychopath, Sociopath, & How to Spot Them

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we've covered how to spot a psychopath

or sociopath before but we've never gone

this in-depth on the clinical diagnosis

behind them antisocial personality


welcome to the med circle series

antisocial personality disorder

psychopaths sociopaths and how to spot

them I loved you in this series more

than maybe I've ever loved you it's it's

an evolving really then the reason

though is because I think you were more

brutally honest than you've ever been

you know listen I'll tell you this there

are some things we talked about on med

circle where there there's a lot of pain

and suffering for the person

experiencing it I think of our series on

anxiety disorders yeah I think of our

series on borderline personality these

are people are experiencing a lot of

subjective discomfort they really really

are this group not so much subjective

discomfort they're causing a lot of

discomfort for other people and that's

the thing you know and some people say

but but they had a tough start this I

said you know most people have a tough

start don't go out and victimize other

people and and the utter lack of insight

and the utter lack of commitment to

change and the fact that our culture

somehow Revere's and celebrates it's

like doesn't matter how you win the game

as long as you win

that kind of thinking is becoming more

and more normative yeah and people with

this pattern of antisocial personality

disorder psychopathy sociopathy and all

these variants they're advantaged in

that situation which means that there

means there's less empathy at the top

that there's you know less value on

things that make us human and connected

and have each other's back and it's just

sort of every man for himself for every

woman for herself rather than a sense of

community I as a psychologist have a

problem with that yeah so I was willing

to be brutally honest under these

conditions well it and when I say

brutally honest it's just you telling

the truth I know I really it's not it's

not you I don't and that people will see

when they watch the series yeah it's

just you tell

it like it is and that's and when we

deal with reality we can make better

decisions well I'm not I listen I'm

never gonna be your warm and fuzzy

psychologist I am NOT the sunshine rain

I get warm and fuzzy I do get warm and

fuzzy and I'm actually an

extraordinarily warm and fuzzy person

you know as long as it's it's reciprocal

and mutual yes yep but what I don't like

doing is giving people sort of

artificial feel-good moments mm-hmm that

actually set them up for another fall

absolutely I'd rather give them like the

real deal even if the real deal is

uncomfortable and then let them make

their decisions accordingly that's how I

engage in consultation and clinical you

know in clinical work and how I teach

students all of that you I can't

guarantee that somebody armed with that

reality will necessarily make the

healthy decision but I at least can rest

assured knowing that I gave them

accurate information do you think that's

why viewers respond so positively to you

do they respond possible i I get I get a

lot of comments on my social media and

my email my emails Kyle I met circle

comm send it my way I'm happy to chat

with you I get a lot of comments and I

would say there's they just really point

out to your little antidotes your

metaphors your big actionable advices in

a way that's changing their lives I

think people do a lot to me you know

what I think that when you're an

undergraduate teacher for so many years

and they're getting more and more

inattentive all the time so I'm trying

to keep their attention you do become a

teacher and I makes me so happy to hear

that you know you make you make this

content and you don't know if anyone is

gonna see it I have to say ten years ago

when I started working in this area of

more toxic and difficult relationships

if you will you know narcissistic

psychopathic sociopathic all of that I

was kind of laboring kind of quietly by

myself in a room thinking I'll reach a

handful of people and that'll be the end

of it and I'll grow old

it'll be fine I never dreamed that the

world would take the changes it didn't

nothing prepared me for this it was like

you were studying some weird obscure

disease that nobody cared about one day

it became an epidemic

and it did and there it was and so I

think that I what-what devastates me

I've said the Sun that circled frost say

it again is the loss of human potential

I see when people get sucked into

relationships where they're devalued and

invalidated and negated and dehumanize

and mocked and abused those people

people internalize those mocking voices

and they're echoes that play in there

and I see how much how much of people we

lose and how much of the their words

need to come to the world they don't

even think their words are worthy and

their efforts and their work and so it's

really about educating them about what

happened to them so that they can take

their lives back that's my personal

mission if it's reaching the viewers I'm

so happy to hear that but I think I know

it is and I hope and think that this

series will do it on an even larger

level I'm gonna ask you this question

but I don't want you answer right now I

want you to think of your your favorite

moment of the series we just shot okay

now it can't be me doctor Romani I am

NOT a moment you okay and while you

think of that I just want to tell

viewers what they can expect throughout

this series and remember you can go to

med circle comm and subscribe to watch

this series we talked about cluster B

personality disorders what they need to

know about that there are four

personality disorders in that cluster B

we talked about that that video is

separate from the series but we filmed

it today we talked about antisocial

personality disorder Psychopaths and

sociopaths what makes them different how

they are somewhat similar when they get

misinterpreted as a narcissism other

disorders that are often misdiagnosed

core co-occurring disorders we talk

about the causes of Psychopaths and

sociopaths are they born are they made

as if both we talk about how to spot -

the signs in a psychopath we taught

literally the questions you can ask or

the signs that you can look out of look

out for when you're talking to someone

both for Psychopaths and sociopaths and

then we go on to

about whether or not antisocial

personality disorder sociopathy and

psychopathy can be cured and what

treatments are available for those

people and then we go through what

supporters can do if you're dealing with

a significant other who has an

antisocial personality disorder if a

co-worker if a boss if your child does

what you can do actual big takeaway

pieces of advice from dr. Romani herself

this was a long series and we covered a

lot of stuff now what was your big

takeaway what was your big your favorite

moment I always welcome the opportunity

to see if we can ever get ahead of

heartache mmm and one thing I really

thought we were able to make the point

in this series is that when people you

know we're talking about psychic

relationships with Psychopaths or

sociopaths or people with antisocial

personality disorder that the writing

was on the wall from the beginning and

that if this might stop someone from

entering or staying in one of these

relationships oh or that they can impart

that wisdom to someone else

big that you know that the that the not

getting in in the first place is the

best prevention of all and the sense

that sometimes that sort of the the

desperate rush to get married to be in a

relationship and to let yourself get

blinded to patterns that are not good

for you

these folks often take advantage of that

that vulnerability and people and the

smoothness the glibness the you know so

many people out there in the world think

they don't deserve a relationship so

they'll enter into one with somebody who

doesn't treat them well and I think that

if people everyone deserves to be loved

and loved well yeah and that if it's

anything less than that to give yourself

permission to step away yes yes just to

step away and to step into some things

yes that is more valuable yes and to and

to learn to really value themselves for

I don't even say love yourself that

sound so cliche to learn to value

yourself because when you value yourself

you treat yourself with value and you

tend to be able to keep up the gates so

that people who don't value you don't

get in that you've got to be your own

gatekeeper ain't nobody else gonna do

that thank you you've got to be your own

gatekeeper you are precious in that way

protect yourself yeah I loved loved

loved loved loved loved that my big

takeaway was that I mean I had four

hundred thousand of them and I talked

about them in the series but is that the

simple act of consciousness and being

mindful mmm-hmm

can be that prevention yeah yeah or at

least can I lead you to those better

decisions that better life yep

and we talked about how to actually

apply that it's easy to say well be

mindful you know that's easy easily said

but we really talk about actual steps

that they can take what that looks like

when you are mindful so that you can

take your life and if it's already

pretty good make it great and if it's

not good make it great yes exactly you

said it in the series I want people to

live their optimal life best lives and

then best you know and just to honor

that and becomes you know to actualize

themselves to open themselves up to

potential and possibility so many people

feel that you don't have the right to

that it doesn't have to be anything

grandiose it could just simply being

life in a serene way in a peaceful way

you not to follow anyone elses formula

and I think that unfortunately when

people get into these kinds of toxic

relationships it's often because they're

not living authentically they're not

living honoring their inner voices

because I think then at those times

people may actually give themselves

permission to walk away if it walks like

a duck and it quacks like a duck it's a


just a few people it's a it's a

psychopath her next book I that

resonates so much with me what you said

I mean I actually get chills and goose

bumps that resonates so much I know that

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