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What To Say To A Young Child about Death of Grandparent



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hi I'm Natalia voles founder of passing

through grief calm and on this short

video I'm going to answer a question

from a viewer about how do I talk to my

young child who's 2 years old about the

death of their grandmother so first of

all remember that young children 2 3 4

years old are very literal so you need

to talk in literal terms that's number

one and most important to not use

metaphors when talking with them they

won't understand what that means

second tip is be truthful children can

handle a lot they don't handle lying or

avoidance as well as they handle the

truth so remember that young children

ask lots of questions

do your best to answer the question in

the way that they will understand it so

no metaphors that means that you must

start the conversation with the truth

and unfortunately that means using the

Big D word that we're most adults are

very uncomfortable saying and that is

that someone has died that they are dead

so practice that first sentence which is

the first thing that you need to say to

them if their grandmother died and they

called them grandma you'd say grandma

has died start with that now if you have

religious beliefs that grandma has gone

to heaven you can tell them that but

don't start with that because they don't

understand what heaven is yet so you

would say grandma is dead we believe

that grandma has gone to heaven and you

know what your child may say well let's

get in the car and go see kram on heaven

and you say well when someone has died

we aren't able to go see them anymore so

two things be literal and be truthful

those are the two most

important things to remember kids have

lots of questions answer their questions

to the best that you are in literal and

truthful terms be careful not to say

something like I let's say their

grandfather died if they go to the

funeral and see grandpa in the casket be

careful not to say that grandpa is

sleeping because then there's a good

chance that your child may have a fear

of going to sleep after that for a while

be truthful and honest that grandpa is

dead I know it's difficult but that is

the best way that you are going to help

your child the second thing is to be

honest about feelings

that you can say and it would help your

child to say grandma who is my mommy

died and I'm not going to get be able to

call her on the phone anymore and talk

to her and I won't be able to give her a

hug anymore and that makes me really sad

and when I'm sad sometimes I cry so

talking honestly with your child will

help them the most if you have any other

questions on this subject or any other

subject around loss in grief

please go to my website passing through

grief calm and there's a contact me

section just send me an email through

there and I will send you an email back

with an answer to your question you can

also go to my facebook page passing

through grief and ask a question through

the message area there wishing you well

today bye bye