leaving everything you know and love behind
and getting out of that tiny bubble you were living in.
And begin your new life as a college student,
excited for what's to come.
You enjoy it,
you like it
and you think to yourself:
"Wow, this is gonna be good."
take a shower,
go to class,
come back home,
the gym membership is a bit expensive
so you're just gonna do some push ups in your room.
review your notes,
and go to sleep.
Oh, and don't forget to brush your teeth.
Now do that again.
go to bed.
And again. (Sigh)
You're a month in.
One day, when you're doing a piece of homework,
you realize you don't understand the topic quite well.
So you email your teacher.
You reach out for help but you don't quite get it.
So you resort to plan B
and you use a textbook to help you out.
And you finally get it.
You start to realize that
all the lectures are simply a summarized version of
all the topics in the book.
I mean... duh! But...
you can understand the concepts much better
and absorb much more knowledge
by studying on your own.
You then realize that your parents are paying
an incredible amount of money
for you to learn stuff that is all in a book
that is worth ten dollars.
Or in your computer,
where you have access to basically
all of human knowledge,
simply by having access to the internet.
So you start having second thoughts
You start doubting the whole idea of college.
You start doubting the system.
You start doubting the common paradigms of success.
You start doubting yourself, your decisions and ideas.
You start doubting the whole world.
Oh my God. I ca- I can't breathe.
Forget that, forget that. Ugh.
That was just a silly thought.
College is necessary.
You're not thinking of dropping out
four, five times.
Wait... no. It's too soon.
Someone with experience,
an older sibling, a mentor, someone.
You get talked out of the idea completely
and you go back to reality.
You're not liking this.
You have a couple of breakdowns.
You miss lectures for a whole week.
You tell your teachers, you ask for help, but
you get no help at all.
That will help you focus and take away the stress.
Get the gym membership and go daily.
Go vegetarian because it's healthy and good for the environment and you've always wanted to try it out.
*french kisses that scrumptious lettuce*
Try to enjoy yourself,
to make this whole college experience fun,
as it is meant to be.
You go to a party.
You enjoy the party.
You see some friends, you have fun.
You forget about all the stress you've experienced this past month.
Then you suddenly hear something you don't like.
You go back home and you buzz your hair because you just heard that your ex-girlfriend got a new boyfriend
and you're still not over her and you feel so much rage and sadness at the same time
and you wanna forget about her but you can't. So you think that by shaving your head this will be a symbol
for change and every time you look into the mirror you will be reminded about this change and that you need
to move on. And whenever you see that asshole that calls himself her boyfriend...
YOU WILL RIP HIM INTO PIECES
Ok chill. There's no need for that. No need for violence.
You just hope she's doing well.
And... that she's happy.
Go to the gym to clear your mind.
Do twice the exercise. Don't stop. Keep going.
You are an animal. Nobody can stop you.
Okay stop I think I'm gonna faint.
Back to the matter at hand.
To drop out or not to drop out?
So you talk about it with a couple of other people and you get talked out of it again.
You start to reach your breaking point,
but you keep going.
you go to class and you do all the work
even though you're not enjoying it.
Maybe I should just switch careers?
You know you're passionate about what you're doing
and you have a clear vision of what you want with your life.
But you know this is simply not the way for you to get there.
You start to think of alternatives,
of what you could do to make this feeling go away
and be happy with what you're doing.
You want to talk to somebody about this, but,
You're alone in this.
You feel no support at all.
But suddenly, you realize
There's tons of other who think just like you
So it IS possible.
And so you get excited.
And you look into their lives and you find out
that it's a clear vision, hard work and perseverance
that pays off in the end. No matter the route you take.
And you want that.
You're willing to sacrifice this whole college thing
because you know deep inside,
you have potential for so much more.
And you don't want to wait for that potential to bloom.
Or the next year, or even when you're 85,
laying on your deathbed.
And you think to yourself: "Was I happy with what I did with my life'?"
And the answer would be no.
So you want to accomplish so much more than that which is expected of you.
And there's so much expected of you, but simply not what you want.
And this is when Steve Jobs' words resonate with you:
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life."
And you realize you ARE living another person's life.
You're doing what THEY want you to do.
But you're not them, you're YOU!
You are your own person.
You make your own rules.
And you want to prove all the doubters wrong.
You want to change the game.
And that is why you're dropping out of college.
And you're gonna do it...
An unexpected feeling of paralyzing fear takes over you.
As you realize that you're a nobody in this massive cruel jungle that we call society.
That those that actually made it are the one in a million.
And you get scared that you'll be part of the million.
The million that don't make it, that fail, that get stuck and die without anybody even caring.
And so, the self doubt crawls back.
And you find yourself surrounded by all this noise.
You begin to lose perception,
as it gets darker inside your mind.
And now you don't even know what to do.
You don't know where to step,
you don't know where to look.
Because everybody gives validation to those who go to college.
Because it's the secure way out.
The easy way to build the rest of your life.
And who will validate YOUR hard work?
Who will validate the dropout?
Who will stand beside you?
And you realize this was a dumb and crazy idea from the very beginning.
And you submit.
And you go back to the way things are supposed to be.
Head down, mouth shut,
ass on the seat.
Song: "The Dropout" by sfeug