What it feels like to recover from cocaine addiction

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I don't know I think that drugs and

alcohol always held the promise of

different than what I was for example if

I am the color yellow one day drugs hold

the promise of me not being yellow the

next day if I'm the color red drugs hold

the promise potentially me being yellow

it's a total illusion what drugs are

going to give you and what alcohol is

going to promise you it was like being

in a new world where the rules were

completely different the cast of

characters changed first of all we

stayed up for days and days and by days

I mean like five days was not unusual

so we're sleep-deprived and when we stay

up for that long I mean that I'm just

drinking and consuming drugs everything

about me moved it differently and my

brain started working differently my

words came out differently my posture