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how to stop Binge Drinking - binge drinking and the link to alcoholism



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Marcus and Terry with you today on this

wonderful Thursday hopefully you can

hear us and see us okay got a little bit

of a late start but I think we're doing

all right so let's see if it is in fact

showing yes it is cool so if you're

listening in if you can hear us okay

type something in the box and let us

know my sound should be good Terry you

want to say something give us a little

sound check there hello everybody hi

Richard how you doing good to see you

again all right cool cool deal I think

our email is sent out whenever I get a

late start things are a mess which is

not fun but we with it cool stuff all

right awesome good to see you here

Richard meg today what we're gonna be

doing is talking about binge drinking a

lot of people have a lot of questions

and issues when it comes to binge

drinking and I think correct me if I'm

wrong Terry but from what I heard when I

was trying to get sober binge drinking

was kind of almost separate from

alcoholism people thought oh I'm just a

binge drinker I just I just need to quit

binging and and I'll be fine I don't

need to quit entirely I just need to

quit binge drinking and life will be

okay is that kind of how you felt or

kind of what you heard in the circles as

well while working with people and

working with people that are self

proclaimed binge drinkers a lot of

people will think that they're they

don't have alcoholism or or a problem

with alcohol because all they do is

binge drink so say they can go the whole

week and work and then they binge drink

on the weekends or whatever they do or

they were there binge drinkers because

they're in college and they study all

week so it it can be a form of it can be

alcoholism it's just really what the

what it does to your life yeah and I

think I think also one of the big things

to look at it is can you stop examine an

alcoholic is someone who can't stop

drinking so whether you're binge

drinking or whether you know your

grandma and you have like one glass of

wine every day if grandma can't stop the

glass of wine every day and it's

affecting her life then by the

definition you'd have an alcohol problem

because alcohol is causing a problem in

your life

hence alcohol and problem and I think a

lot of people look at it differently in

different ways but the real issue is is

what is it doing for me I my story with

drinking I wouldn't call myself a binge

drinker because in my mind the way that

I visualize a binge drinker was that hey

here's this guy who like goes a week

without drinking and then on the

weekends he just gets hammered and

plastered and falls all over like a frat

boy and that's a binge drinker for me I

was a round-the-clock drinker I drank

round-the-clock

to keep a normal buzz level and then I

would binge in times when I got you know

in a jam or something bad happened or

just that night you know I think for me

binge drinking was more or less the idea

of first the man takes the drink then

the drink takes a drink and then the

drink takes a man and what they mean by

that is you know once you take the first

drink and this goes back to the basics

of alcohol literature where they talk

about your defense you have no defense

against the first drink right when you

take that first drink now you have been

altered and the next time you take a

drink it's probably gonna be the drink

taking it because nothing likes more

alcohol for an alcoholic than alcohol

right if that makes sense so when you

look at that it's like okay you take the

drink and then you get a little bit

buzzed or get a little bit tipsy and

then you just start drinking and you

have no regard for your ideas of oh I

was only gonna have 10 today or five

today or whatever and it's kind of out

the window is that kind of how it was

for you Terry

absolutely yeah that's I I would be able

to drink and then stop and Richard says

I would drink it I would drink three to

five days straight and stop drinking for

a month or two that's a that's

definitely binge drinking right there

too so yeah yeah and and what's it doing

to your life because I think the first

advice or the first the first clue the

first indication that you have trouble

with alcohol is probably the fact that

you're looking up these videos I think

that speaks volumes

right because I have people in the

family who they drink and they're fine

and they would never think to look up a

video and sometimes they even get a

little too drunk then they would like to

be but it's not causing issues in their

life they're not having trouble they

don't think they need to quit and you

know for them maybe they don't I don't

know maybe there's people who just you

know once in a while they they drink and

that's fine for me and for what I look

at is like what is it doing so if you're

able to go two months without drinking

and then all of a sudden you have like

three to five days where you're like

blackout crazy drinking like a madman

you want to look at it and be like okay

what is the deal because with Richard

and with anything any other binge

drinker we have to look at that and say

okay well what's going on there because

if you never drank if drinking was off

the table right if you were like I just

don't drink anymore okay you'd probably

be fine like you don't have to have it

those those weekends that you do or

those three to five days that you do and

you know you know how to stop so if it's

causing problems in your life I would

look at it and be like well what if I

just took that off the table and I think

that's what me and Terry found to be a

good solution is once alcohol is off the

table once you're like hey I'm gonna

have a holic I'm not gonna drink anymore

they don't need it it's not doing any

good in my life and quite frankly I've

probably had enough for like ten

lifetimes so I think I'm good but once

it's off the table you know you're going

through the grocery store and it's like

it's off the table like it's not an

option of do I want this kind or that

kind it's off the table when you get

home and it's like okay well like I

started cooking I did braised beef in

wine and tortellini and I needed regular

wine for it because if you use the

regular the salt kind it would been too

salty and I'm sitting there and you know

the thought goes hey one of those would

be good even though it's like a little

plastic bottle of wine because I got the

cheap kind hey that might be kind of

good I wonder what it tastes like and

you have that thought but for me it's

off the table so I don't have it in the

extra ones still sitting there and I'm

like I don't care cuz it's off

the table and I think the idea having it

off the table is it's gonna be a

game-changer and for someone who's

struggling you know maybe give yourself

a year say hey you know what I could go

a year without drinking let's see what

it does in my life that you do you just

explained what a great part of sobriety

is is that the alcohol not just being

off the table but it's it's not a

positive or a negative it's just it it's

just not there it's yeah and that that

that's key for my sobriety if I had to

fight the cravings and fight the

obsessions I wouldn't be sober and I

think you probably feel exactly the same

way yeah yeah it was a big thing you

know at first it was oh I can't have

alcohol I want to but I can't that was

probably the first three maybe six

months of sobriety was I want to but I

can't and then I got to the point where

I was like who gives a [ __ ] like alcohol

no alcohol I mean you know you start to

equate it and you start to look at it

and for someone who's doing binge

drinking you know we got to look at it

and be like well is it doing good and I

would guess a binge drinkers probably

more so able to admit no it's not doing

good I go get plastered it sucks I throw

up and I feel like [ __ ] now for an

everyday drinker I think there's

probably a lot more perceived and I'm

gonna use the word perceived benefits

because hey we're getting our daily buzz

we're getting rid of anxiety and we're

doing this stuff so for that it's a

little bit harder to look at like hey

what's what's the downside because I'm

like hey this helps my anxiety I need it

every day to cope with my anxiety I need

this every day to cope with my daily

stress as to where a binge drinker it's

it's kind of and maybe I'm wrong because

I was not just a binge drinker I did

binge but I never stopped right I was

like I never stopped so we got a look at

that but for me it's like hey it's it's

all bad right so that would be

interesting to see Richard if you could

type in your thoughts on that

like is it easy

for you to see yeah there's really not a

lot of benefits other than I hang out

with Joe and Tom and the guys and you

know we hang out and that's what we do

maybe that's the benefit or or Terry did

you ever have times like that where you

were just a binge drinker well maybe in

college as far as yeah I would sober up

a do class of course I'd party here at

the week too but I don't think I was

quite a binge drinker ever as far as

what one would normally think one is a

meg says that she started out or started

out a binge weekend drinker and then

slowly over time turned to everyday

drinker and that's what I think happens

with a lot of people although I've I've

talked to some people that they just

remain binge drinkers and they're the

reason they finally accepted the fact

that they were alcoholics or realized

that they were alcoholics was just that

they were starting to get these negative

consequences in their life because of

their drinking and they just got worse

and worse like they would fall

downstairs in the crack Ridge or

something like that you know they just

get these consequences or get a DUI or

something like that and that's where

they realize that alcohol just it it's

the problem and for some people takes a

long time to figure that out well I

think it goes back to what we were

talking about yesterday - or last week

where we were talking about like I

really believe and I think

scientifically it kind of backs it up I

believe that if you have enough alcohol

you're gonna become somewhat dependent

whether it's a psychological dependence

whether it's a physiological dependence

I don't know I don't have any letters

after my name obviously as it says down

in the disclaimer but I think if you

have enough you're going to get that way

and like men meg has found she says you

know i binge all the weekend and then it

turned into gradually you know being a

full-blown alcoholic and that's kind of

how I guess if I look at my journey

because I I noticed there was a problem

in probably 2011 2012 that's when I was

like okay

did something wrong now before that I

would go and I'd go to a Thanksgiving or

something and I'd have way too much

which would be like a binge and then I'd

just have my little you know like beers

for the rest of the time and then I'd

have like a bad time again and then you

know it'd kind of be off and on but I

think what happened was my tolerance

went up so I was still doing those big

binges I was just doing them everyday

because now my body was used to it my

mind was used to it whereas before you

know you go to Thanksgiving and you'd

have a half a bottle of champagne and

you'd be under the table now I was like

well I can have a half a bottle

champagne on my own on a regular day and

I'm fine so not necessarily the amount

because the amount went up you know I

was like okay well now I'm having enough

and I think if you look at Terry and I

towards the end of our drinking stint or

career or whatever you want to call it I

don't know why they call it a career I

never once got paid for it I'm still

waiting for the check for man Heiser

Bush you know maybe they'll fund our

show or something you have people's

careers is what you did that you helped

people's careers business I probably

have a wing in the anheuser-busch place

or whoever funds all the beer or

whatever but yeah you know you look at

it and towards the end of the drinking

career it was almost like you were

binging every day the amounts you had

were were kind of the same as a binge

drinker absolutely go ahead and warm up

I can hardly hear you

that's okay there we go

okay cool now I should be able to hear

you but yeah that's that's what I look

at as the cycle of binge drinking is

usually you start out and you're like

hey you know what I'm doing all right

here I just go out and I binge drink

with the guys and you know in the

beginning of my drinking it was like

that I started drinking the first time I

ever got drunk ironically it was with a

family member who is now sober he had a

hard time with stuff and now he's sober

and it was great but I was 13 years old

I was in Las Vegas and

where we went to Las Vegas we got free

alcohol when you checked in and for

people that were like you know 13 years

old you're like hey check it out there's

a fridge and it has free alcohol they'll

give you free alcohol everywhere in

Vegas but this fridge had it and they

also had Coke so I'd be like I'm just

getting a couple cokes here clink clink

clink and then I'd leave with my coke in

my hand and five bottles of Jack in my

pocket that was the first time I got

drunk I remember I liked the feeling I

really enjoyed being able to shut off

but I hated being pissed drunk like even

up until the end of my drinking I hated

being completely drunk sick not

functioning so that was kind of where I

was at and then I had another time

drinking when I was like 16 or so my

friends and I raided their parents

liquor cabinet and we didn't know how to

make mixed drinks we thought you poured

that much drink and that much tea

needless to say that night was very bad

I was feeling like crap all night and

you know I was like whatever I guess

that's what happens when you drink too

much I didn't drink till I was about 20

then I drank off and on it at 20 around

22 23 I started drinking hard stuff at

night when I worked and once in a while

I'd have a little bit too much but never

anything I thought was a problem and

then slowly slowly it crept up on me and

I think the common denominator is the

fact that I like the way it made me feel

I liked that I could shut off I liked

that when I had a lot to do at work

because I work for myself there's no

boss I got a self motivate when I had to

work hey I got my bottle I got my laptop

we're gonna hash it out all night while

everyone's asleep and then you know wake

up tomorrow and that was kind of my life

but when I realized it was a problem was

when it started causing issues in my

life is like hey you know what you're

not making appointments you're not

making deadlines you feel like crap your

body internally I guy I don't know if it

was this way for you Terry

but for me I used to wake up every day

and I'm like I feel like I'm dying I

feel like my body is literally eating

itself alive because I'm living on

alcohol was it like that for you did you

get like those warnings of dude what the

hell is going on you know absolutely I

was 30 pounds heavier than I am now I

had high blood pressure and my glucose

level was high which put me at

pre-diabetic levels and I felt but

that's just the the medical stuff but I

felt like crap I was constantly tired

because I wasn't actually sleeping I was

just passing out yeah alcohol made me

feel terrible

yeah and now I know like when you have a

binge and you wake up after a binge you

always feel like [ __ ] and that was my

thing like after a binge in the morning

was like Marcus is motivated to get

sober

that's when I was like man this is it

this is the one I feel like [ __ ] I'm

gonna remember this and I'm gonna stay

sober but I could never do it right I

never I would always go back yes and I

think it's because one it was never

really off the table like in if I look

it up until the time I really got sober

and I was like this is it

it was never really off the table it was

always like well I can have a Bud Light

55 I mean it's only 55 calories there

can't be that much alcohol and then you

have three Bud Light 55 s and you find

out that they taste like water and you

really need a real beer and then when

you really need a real beer you got to

have wine to chase and pretty soon it's

this big animal that creeps up on you

because it's on the table and I on the

table I don't mean like you know on the

table except for like this little bit

right because that leaves a little bit

and you know how your mind is I know how

my mind is we're gonna be like hey this

is how it works even with non-alcoholic

beer I remember once I told my wife I

was gonna have non-alcoholic beer and

hopefully I don't give anyone ideas but

what I would do is when she was gone I

would fill the non-alcoholic beer

bottles with regular I was like hey it

smells the same tastes the same no idea

it was it was a tedious task I mean I am

like little funnels and things like that

and it worked for a while till she was

like how many did you have I'll add six

and she's like why are you on the floor

well actually I had about thirty and

they do actually have alcohol in them

and you know I'd fill them with other

stuff too but looking back on that it's

like hey that's because I let it be on

the table a little bit you know and when

you look at your life and you look at

whether your binge drinking whether

you're drinking around the clock

whatever it is like coffee man says

moderate drinking is kind of stupid

trying to drink poison and trying not to

get poisoned exactly right now I'm not

saying that normal everyday drinkers

that have their lives under control and

have no problem whatever to each his own

you know but for me as an alcoholic as

someone I know in my life could not stop

as someone I know that would like and

for you guys I'm a germaphobe

big-time germaphobe don't like germs

don't like any of that stuff and I would

literally go through the recycle bin

which is not clean I mean come on now

it's like I don't even think it's better

than a trash bin it's probably the same

and I would get the old bottles and try

to salvage what I had out of them now I

was careful to make sure its bottles

were closed I didn't go that far because

if they were open there was no how

calling him anyway but I would go

through it and and that's how I was and

you look at that and it's like that's

the actions of a man who's addicted

that's the actions of a man who can't

stop drinking so whether you're binging

in college whatever you're doing I'd

like you to look at your life and say

are these the actions of someone who

can't stop are these the actions of

someone who is addicted I might not be

like Marcus I might not be going through

the rubbish bin yet

but there's things happening in my life

alcohol needs to be off the table but

yeah does that make sense do you guys

hope it does I know we got a lot of

questions coming in so let's uh let's

deal with those

you want to take some teri sure Richard

did explain his binge drinking a little

bit I would drink to have fun the first

night but when I wake up the next

morning I try to avoid the hangovers and

after a few days later I can't drink

anymore and force myself to stop yeah

that was me towards the end it wasn't

even at the point of forcing myself to

stop I didn't even have a choice

I couldn't stop but that's that was the

beginning of I guess that was the

beginning of where my alcoholism really

kicked in was when I realized that I

could cure my hangovers by drinking in

the morning and so that's what I do

but then the hangover kicks in at 2:00

o'clock and then do you drink again and

you just keep going yeah so that's uh

yeah right on Richard oh that's that is

definitely one of the signs of

alcoholism Richard you also said I hate

the taste of the non-alcoholic beer or

you hated the taste or not alcoholic

beer

yeah and and like Marcus just mentioned

earlier because we do get comments about

non-alcoholic beer here and there there

usually is 0.5 percent in alcohol in

each non-alcoholic beer so there is

alcohol in there so PAC is having a beer

yeah so a six-pack is like having a

regular Light beer and what I found is

non-alcoholic beer is not off the table

that's still on the table it's just a

little bit on the table and I think that

what really worked for me because I

tried to get sober for about a year I

went to meetings I went to church things

which if you have Church trauma in your

life like I did don't go to church

meetings to try to get sober just go to

a regular one just because you don't

need that extra element that'd be like

you know trying to deal with alcohol

because of abuse and going to the person

who abused you and asking them to help

you get sober that's that's silly I'm

not going to work but you know I would

go to the meetings and everything and

I'd go to him plastered a lot of the

time or go to the bar right after or lie

about a meeting and go to the bar

instead but I tried to get sober

for about a year and I never really was

like hey this is completely off I always

in the back of my mind I always secretly

wanted to moderate I was like hey you

know what I want to moderate I want to

be able to have like a guy I wanted to

be a normal person that could have one

glass of wine or whatever but letting

that little loophole in its you know

it's just not gonna work it's not it's

letting yourself it's giving yourself an

out and I think for alcoholics we need

to not give ourselves an out so for the

holidays if you're worried about binge

drinking remember if other people have

it on the table that's fine

it's off the table for me because I know

where it's gonna lead and when you think

about that think about what it does bad

think about the hangover think about the

the morning after when you're sitting

there stewing about what you did and

what you said and who you talked to and

who you yelled at and who you're in a

fight with and how bad you feel and how

you just want to drink more and how it's

affecting your life and how hey you

could have gotten a DUI right that kind

of stuff will screw up your life real

quick and if not drinking will certainly

absolutely and you guys can do it I for

me I know well I bet a good percentage

of you guys are going to a Christmas

party this weekend and I'm sure there

will be alcohol there I'm in catering I

have five days straight right now I'm on

day two of of Christmas parties I'm

catering and it's just people getting

drunk but I don't have to drink I'm just

cooking for him and it's it's fine it

can be I drink soda water or I drink a

diet coke or whatever and I just watched

them get silly but you guys can do it

it's it's not that difficult to stay

away from the alcohol and there's lots

of things you can do I have a person

that's also sober that works with me so

that's one of the strongest tricks that

I have but the other one is just having

something else to drink this it can be a

dangerous time

these holidays with parties and then

family and family that you may not want

to see family they that you love to

party with or you used to love to party

with and it's a difficult thing oh

that's right I was gonna say let's talk

about the major relapse stuff there's an

acronym in recovery and it's called halt

and what it is is are you hungry angry

lonely or tired now during the holidays

if you're anything like me and you have

a family anything like mine you're gonna

get all of these hungry because my

family doesn't really know how to cook

that good angry because my family talks

a lot of [ __ ] to each other lonely

because sometimes I'm either not with

them or I'm with them and I feel lonely

anyway because things are different

tired because you know you're just tired

because it's that time of year and

you're tired and you eat turkeys and

things that make you tired on top of

being tired and not sleeping and

everything like that so when you have

the hungry angry lonely tired I want you

to remember that that's the time to get

your defences up because you have times

when you can be defenseless and I always

look at it this way I look at it as I

don't know what certain situations can

do to me just last night I was listening

to a book I listen to audiobooks and for

some weird reason I thought it'd be a

good idea to go to sleep and listen to a

book that is the memoirs of a girl who

was in an insane asylum if you guys

don't think I'm messed up and you're

like oh he falls asleep to memoirs of

insane asylums okay we now know he has

problems but I was listening to that and

I was listening to how this lady's life

she was like a normal person and a

certain situation happened and booms she

snapped it was like whoa okay now she's

gone down the road and the whole point

of the book was to talk about the

failure of American mental health

societies and stuff like that

which by the way go to a doctor anyway

if you think you have something just

because someone has bad experience

doesn't mean everyone will and you

should always go to a doctor anyway and

then make your own decision but I was

listening to this

I was baffled at how a woman who seems

like she has things together maybe a

little bit of sprinkling of mental stuff

here and there could be brought to like

Wow here I am completely crazy in the

nut place or the the mental ward or

whatever and we look at that and it's

like okay well in my life I know and

something that I submit to all the time

is the fact that situations can change

may be a lot beyond my own recognition

right I could go through a situation

like if Terry wanted to be sinister and

plotted out a situation and was like

okay first of all what I'm gonna do is

I'm gonna do this and we're gonna screw

with Marcus's bank accounts and credit

cards next what we're gonna do is we're

gonna have everyone in his family call

and yell at him and tell him he's a

loser then what we're gonna do is

everyone on the sobriety channel is

gonna say how they think he's a fake and

a loser and whatever and he would

orchestrate a way to push all my buttons

I guarantee you there are the right

combination of buttons that could

probably make me drink again

there probably I could sit here and I

say oh I'm sober I read all these books

I have a so bright but I don't know

they're somewhere in life is the right

combination to make us do just about

anything this was shown in the Sanford

or Stanford one of them Prison

Experiment and what they did is they had

this Prison Experiment where some

psychology guys got together and they're

like okay we're gonna get a hundred

people or whatever into a prison and

it's fake there are no prisoners there

are no guards it's an act it's a joke

it's freaking reality TV before reality

TV happened and they take these guys and

they take together here the guards

you're the prisoners and again remember

was completely fake but after about

three days of this everyone forgot it

was fake and the guards started beating

on the prisoners and there was like

riots and crazy stuff and it was

something that was supposed to be fake

but what happened was after all this

these people got hungry angry lonely

tired they had their senses worn down

and they for

got that it was a fake experiment and I

bring that to show you that that's what

happens with us sometimes we're gonna

forget sometimes we'll go to Christmas

and we'll think Oh mom said this to me

I'm in war with mom and it's like well

who cares mom could say whatever she

wants dad could say whatever he wants

the fact of the matter is is I'm staying

here

and I think in life oftentimes we forget

for lack of a better word that certain

things are fake like the prison

experiment that wore them down and made

them do things they never thought you

you would never say well you know James

the accountant yeah I think he's gonna

beat up a fake prisoner you would never

say that you'd be like he's an

upstanding guy the dude coaches a little

league and here he is like doing crazy

things and I hope that makes sense and I

hope you guys get it because in our

lives there are things that could wear

us down and the key is is to be on guard

and to always and these are the keys for

me this is what works for me always be

on guard to say hey I don't know what

can happen and also remember this isn't

really real like okay maybe got

financial difficulties it's not really

real finances are just a social accepted

thing you know maybe getting a fight

with the spouse for me I used to think

that means divorce or stay divorced or

stay you can't have a fight without

deciding whether to divorce or stay and

now I look at it I'm like I need to

decide it's just an argument big deal

I'm probably wrong anyway I'm a guy

we're always wrong right and and say you

know what can happen it's I hope that

little rambling made sense to you guys

if you have anything to add or maybe

make it make sense if it didn't that

would help oh yeah you made a lot of

sense there and and halt is one of the

important keys for sobriety because it

helps build that base and you know the

actual word halt that's another one

which is just kind of you get into a

situation maybe a stressful situation an

argument or something that you're

starting to feel uneasy about halt

pause relax

step back try to think about what what

your part in this situation is and try

to fix that or maybe you just have to

walk away and come back another day or

something like that but that that's this

is a huge tool for me and sobriety is

and especially the early sobriety and

the early sobriety I found that I was

constantly hungry because you know I've

been drinking 2,500 calories of vodka a

day so I had to figure out something to

kind of take up that void because I was

starving and getting angry that would

that was I didn't wasn't too angry when

I first got sober but you know I still

get in those situations and you know the

the little things would set me off like

my wife I she said

Terry are you drinking again and this

was after like six months that's like no

why would you ask me that it was because

where I used to hide the alcohol under

the house I'd put something in front of

the door and so she thought I was hiding

stuff a given that made me really angry

but then I had to realize well I'm the

one that caused her to think that so

it's it's understanding your part in

these things and being lonely that I was

a complete isolator when I drank I

didn't want anybody to know I was

drinking so I drove everyone out of my

life and and you know Marcus was

explained you can be you can be lonely

when you're with other people to just

you know maybe they're all drinking and

you're not you feel left out or

something like that and it's it's a you

have to you have to try not to be that

way if one good tool to use is is go to

a meeting and hang out with other people

or or come talk to us and other sober

people we can we can all relate to each

other in ways that normal people

I guess normal people that are people

that are not alcoholics can and then

tired is an obvious one just I was I was

very tired when I first got sober and I

just concentrated on if I'm tired go

take a nap or just rest sit and do

nothing let my mind rest there's a lot a

lot of changes happen when we get sober

and it takes a while for the body to

just kind of stabilize yeah so yeah

remember that like the Snickers

commercials I like those ones my

favorite is the ones I think it is it

James Franco or James something I know

he's the Green Lantern or something and

movies and he's dressed like Marilyn

Monroe and doing the whole skirt up

thing and he's being like a jerk

and he's dressed like her he's like

yelling at everyone and they're like hey

man have a Snickers and he eats the

Snickers and then turns into the regular

Marilyn Monroe all nice and kind and you

know it's kind of like that we're kind

of like those Snickers commercials where

when you get hungry you're gonna be

off-kilter now the problem with that is

all of these things we have put into our

brain I'm gonna draw a brain here that's

a brain all right looks more like a

one-legged jellyfish but we're gonna

pretend it's a brain and what we've done

is we have thousands of times reinforced

when I'm hungry

drink this was my go-to like I didn't

have cereal in the morning right had

alcohol right if I couldn't go to lunch

or was too lazy to go to lunch or

whatever I'd have alcohol half the time

I'd go to lunch order lunch drink the

alcohol and leave the lunch so there's

thousands of times I want you to think

about right now how many times you have

reinforced the belief and the feeling

when I'm hungry alcohol helps right just

think about that in your own mind for me

at least ten thousand at least angry

when I'm angry go drink I would fight

with the spouse she may as well have

handed it to me on the way out fight

with parents fight with anyone when I

was angry at a customer a client

drinking was the go to thousands of

times I said boom angry I don't know why

that has that the comma goes down here

I'm angry I'm gonna go drink so in your

mind the first thing you're going to

think you're gonna feel

then you're gonna think drink right and

you're not even gonna think it audibly

because the way that the brain works is

it takes shortcuts right that's how we

live we're like okay I know that that

red light in this car and that main stop

okay we don't sit there and think red

light I better stop there's a car over

you're just okay chill same thing when

you're talking oftentimes you don't even

think about what you're going to say

because it's already pre-planned in your

mind your mind is going it's just going

and the same thing happens here you

could be angry you could be hungry and

the feeling starts and the craving

starts and you don't even think what

you're craving right I didn't even care

you could have been like whatever this

is you know [ __ ] tasting vodka whatever

and I'd be like okay well it's got the

vodka in it so I'm good you know or it's

this or that or even something you don't

like you're just going to crave that

alcohol because you're craving a feeling

you're not craving the drink and I think

it's very important to realize that this

is what your brain is doing so every

time you sit there and you say to

yourself a drink would be nice

smells good tastes good you're not

really craving the taste right and you

can look at this in life because it's

like okay when you taste it after not

having it for a while a complete you

have to reacquire the taste right

and it's interesting to look at because

it's like okay I'm not really craving to

drink the glass that smell the taste I'm

craving the feeling because why because

every time I was angry I went and got it

and my brain said hah shortcut yay I

love it and great drink solved hungry I

don't have to go have a meal I don't

need to cook I don't need to get pans

out and do dishes drink yay lonely Hey

there ain't nothing better for a lonely

guy than a bottle of Jack right not

really but that's what your brain thinks

because it shuts off the feeling of

being lung lonely because you sit there

and you're like ah [ __ ] everyone they

don't know anything anyway I got all my

friends right here in the mirror and it

doesn't really work but you feel better

about it and this goes through to the

idea of feeling better versus

being better do I want to feel better

because there none of these things are

solved by alcohol none of them like

hungry you are still malnourished if you

drink alcohol actually alcohol depletes

vitamins so your negative negative

malnourished angry they're in a fight

that I've had that has been made better

by alcohol

they've all been made worse by

absolutely lonely last time I checked if

I drank alone on the couch people didn't

start knocking on the door being like

this is a place to be look at this guy

right he's got five day old sweats on

and he's all sweaty let's hang out here

yeah buddy no one does that in fact it

actually pushes family members away

right it actually pushed friends away

they were like dude I like talking to

you but I can't hang out if you're

already 12 in that's not fun

tired well if you want an endless cycle

of never sleeping keep drinking so none

of these are actually solved you're just

feeling better about them in the moment

and you got a look at that because

you're programmed you have been

programmed by alcohol you've been

programmed mentally to think this is

going to help and you've been programmed

physically because you get that initial

thing studies have been shown where you

take a little lab rat

and you put the lab rat in a little cage

and you give him a little cup of food in

a little Bell or whatever and he eats

his food and he's great whatever fan fun

wonderful then you take and you

introduce morphine or alcohol or some

substance into that cage that rat will

actually go push the button and get

alcohol and he'll get the feeling and

it'll go boom zap zap sit like a

lightning bolt and it goes this feels

good right how many of you guys have had

that you get a drink and you're like oh

yeah this feels good it's zap in your

brain yes the rat is going to go and

push the button to get the feeling

neglecting food neglecting family

neglecting well-being he neglects

everything until he dies because he's

pushing the button trying to make

that feeling now I'd like to think that

I'm a way highly evolved creature with

my opposable thumbs but I'm actually not

my brain works the same way this is why

you have drug addicts and this is my own

pet peeve and this is my vision for our

channel and the work that we're doing

here with you guys is to change the

narrative because for far too long

there hasn't been education and there

hasn't been education about drinking or

drugs and you look at a guy and you're

like look at that sloppy dude over there

freakin does cocaine until he you know

falls in the gutter and loses everything

what's wrong with him well what's wrong

with him is his brains been hijacked and

it's not like a moral failing a moral

fault now addicts and drinkers will do

morally failing things but only after

their brains been hijacked so we got to

deal with the hijack issue we got to

look at it as something separate right

because people are you degenerate

drinking fool right it's not like that

your brains been hijacked now you might

do degenerate stuff that's your own

business for you to deal with legally

and morally and whatever but let's deal

with the hijacked brain issue because

the hijacked brain issue is what makes

us do crazy things and to some extent

the idea of the prison experiment was a

hijacked brain their brain was hijacked

Booma switch went they thought it was

real the switch is going for you it says

just makes me feel good cool getting a

fight makes me feel good thousands of

times reinforced why can't I stop

drinking this is why you can't stop

drinking because your brain is hijacked

and it says I need to drink when I'm

hungry it makes me feel better

when I'm angry it makes me feel better

lonely it makes me feel better tired

when I get something like how many

people how many times in life do you

think people have binge drank after

losing their job probably happens every

day probably like 10,000 times a day and

if they continue and become an alcoholic

it's because they keep doing it

reinforced feelings and reinforce

behaviors and beliefs are going to be

the go-to right it's gonna be the go-to

like I guarantee when

automatic driving cars take over okay

when automatic driving cars take over

and you sit in your car with no steering

wheel and no pedals I guarantee for you

guys who have been driving a long time

and you get too close to something

you're gonna go like this

and you're gonna go like that even

though there's no pedal and a computer

is driving your car why because it's

reinforced it's automatic

same with this now you know the car is

gonna stop itself you know stomping on

the floor ain't gonna do nothing because

there ain't no brake pedal cuz a robot's

driving your car but it's gonna happen

anyway same thing with alcohol so what

we have to do is we have to get used to

it as I get used to the self-driving car

I'll relax I'll be like okay ain't a

damn thing I can do this drivin car can

drive me into the lake if it wants so I

might as well not do anything because

that's how it works but the same thing

with alcohol you have to Train it these

thousands of times you've reinforced it

need to be reversed we have to develop

new habits yeah yes I'm done with my

little rant but no you're right you're

just explaining that we we need to

develop a new way of life and we start

off by trying to make these things a

habits trying to trying to do the right

thing things for our sobriety everyday

and slowly they become part of our life

and we're just trying to make those new

channels in the brain the the channels

that we want to follow so that we don't

drink and have that destructive

lifestyle going over to some of the

comments a coffee man I'm just scrolling

up a little bit here when when I drink I

drink until I pass out mostly once a

week I don't mind the hangover but hate

things I talk when I'm drunk I'm going

to quit 3 to 12 months most likely

forever already three weeks in good job

coffee man 3 weeks in and that's uh

that's a great way to start just see how

it goes and go from there good job there

was a couple others that said let's see

William G has three months sober

tomorrow the fear of consequences from

lapsing lapsing relapsing dr me on

that's good congratulations William

somebody else had something in there was

it Matthew had said binge-drinking great

topic that's what I was

one drink turned into two weeks every

single time so it looks like a lot of

people out of the binge drinkers what

would drink for a while and then quit

for a while and then back to drinking

and my binge was four years in years so

uh yeah but mag we did add thirsty

therefore yeah I noticed you said it

could be for thirsty too that's good

sure absolutely

and I was a person that didn't like the

taste of just plain water so I always

have to have ice water so or sparkling

water that sort of thing but yeah it's

good yes let's see if she wants to come

in she ate up my memory card today so I

gotta go buy another memory card nice

Richard says over a hundred and six days

sober that's awesome cool good job right

before that Jay Walker said never in my

life have I had a drink for the taste

and then Richard I guess you're

responding and saying for the effects me

I like the taste alcohol like to tell

the end but really what I wasn't I

wasn't chasing the taste I was chasing

the effect of the alcohol absolutely but

I enjoyed the taste of beer enjoyed the

taste of a martini oh yeah oh and I

think that's what the acquired taste

is right you know like like we crave

chocolate

I would venture to say it's probably not

so much for the chocolate itself it's

probably the feeling because chocolate

has something that relaxes you it has

sugar that mellows you out and get your

blood sugar right so it might not

necessarily be that we like the

chocolate it might be that we like the

feeling same kind of thing with like big

meals people who like big meals like

them because a big meal makes you feel

better now that's not saying that taste

doesn't matter

I love

cooking Terry loves cookin he's like a

chef dude so to say that taste doesn't

matter would be a gross understatement

but I think in some of these things the

like coffee

no one ever likes their first cup of

coffee never I never met someone who's

like oh that's good unless it's like one

of them foofie

Starbucks fancy drinks but no one ever

likes the first one until they get the

jolt in they're like wow this wakes me

up I'm I'm happy you know so I think we

should look at that and I think we

should really submit to the fact that as

much as we want to think we are really

in charge of everything and really in

control of everything we're really not

and that's a good book to check out I

think I might have it here it's called

something about the insecurity living in

the age of ants insecurity by Alan Watts

and he's talking about what it's like to

really submit to the fact that you don't

have control over certain things because

I I know for myself as an alcoholic I

wanted to control everything and when I

couldn't control everything I drank and

we got a look at that and say we really

can't control all that much right and

and when we submit to that life is

either completely depressing or

completely freeing and I found it to be

freeing because I can't control it I

can't make people do what I want them to

do as much as I think I can and it as

much as some of the books on my shelf so

you can write sales and marketing is

always about that but the best you can

do in life is ask for someone's

cooperation and if you don't get it you

don't get it

when you go out on your holidays the

best you can do is is try to keep cool

and ask for cooperation

well you know Mom I'd really like if you

didn't bring that up I really like if

you didn't bug me about my alcohol

because I'm trying to stop I'd really

like if you didn't do that and if they

don't hey that's their bag it's like my

uncle says you know everyone else finds

something to do this is what I'm doing

and you know focus on what you're doing

what are you doing this this Christmas

I'm staying sober that's what I'm gonna

do I know that life will not be better

the hottie Tottie eggnog I know that

Brandi doesn't make the Christmas tree

bigger and brighter I know that it

really is an illusion and I know that

for me to remain sane and not to have

the issues I had in the past

drinking needs to be off the table and

not just kind of off the table but

completely off the table at least until

I get to a point where I feel

comfortable and even then like I found

now I thought maybe you know I'd get

sober and ten years down the road five

years down the road maybe we'll start

again but I found that five years almost

five years sober

I don't want it I'm not jealous of

people who drink any more I don't need

to have it I don't crave wine or

anything like that I'm just like hey

take it or leave it there it is

I don't care about it and I think that's

a good place to be and I think it's

something good to shoot for is hey maybe

you could be there you know maybe maybe

the guy who's going to try three months

or a year I'd recommend a year because

it's a full four seasons go through a

lot of stuff in a year I think if you

can get through something for a year

it's really put some some bearings on it

or whatever you call it right because

you've done things you've gotten fights

you've done it I mean in a in one year

do you think you're gonna combat these

thousands of things probably not even

close probably not even close so what

makes you think you'll do in three

months and you know to each his own you

do what you think is best for you but

what I would do is I would be like well

[ __ ] I've reinforced this a lot longer I

think one of the good things to look at

too is maybe say as long as I've had

trouble drinking I'm gonna stay sober so

if you've been drinking for 10 years try

to stay sober for 10 years you know you

can do it you just need to learn how if

you've been drinking heavy for three

years say hey I'm gonna stay sober for

three years and maybe look at it that

way I don't know maybe that'll that'll

help but during the time you stay you're

you say you're gonna be sober get it off

the table completely I'm not maybe

because maybe still reinforcing this

stuff it's still active

and I think that's why people say you

know addiction is like the three-headed

dragon or something and it's sleeping

that's waiting right and it's waiting

because all this stuff goes to sleep now

it's gonna go to sleep like right now

Terry hasn't drank in in four years I

haven't drank in four years

right now this stuff's sleeping but I

know the minute I go and I'm like I feel

hungry let's have a drink

ding ding ding ding oh wow [ __ ] I

remember this I remember that this is a

solution right can't focus drink whoa I

remember this now I'm focused will I

become an alcoholic full-blown again who

knows

and also who the [ __ ] wants to find out

but I don't and I don't think Terry does

either and I don't think you guys do

either all right let's take a couple

other questions and then yeah Lindsay

says hi guys I find if I make the

declaration I'm not drinking anymore it

puts me under stress as my family are

big binge drinkers they just don't get

it yeah that's definitely the peer

pressure is a tough thing I mean there's

a couple things you could do you could

step away

try not to be around the family when

they're drinking I mean obviously you're

not gonna just not be around your family

but the other thing is is just not make

the declaration just don't drink and

maybe they'll ask you about it and say

no I'm not gonna that that's what I do I

just say that no thank you

that's the easiest way to turn down a

drink for me even when they're trying to

pressure me and I just say no thanks so

so good I'm fine right now

you know I like my wife she's she's what

we would call a Normie she can drink

without impunity and she'll have her

half glass of wine and chill and pour

out the other half and that'll be her

wine for the night and you know she

doesn't she will not drink anything at

all and drive if she has a half a glass

of wine she will not drive and so when

if he goes out and I'm not there to

drive she won't drink and that's there's

a great way to

get away from the drink that's it go

ahead that goes to show someone whose

mind hasn't been hijacked to because of

me it was like okay I can have four and

then drive and by the way this is not

advice you should not drink and drive at

all not even a drop not even looking at

it

nothing don't drink and drive bad for me

I was like okay I'm cool if I have four

over this amount of time and blah blah

blah and I never never stuck to four

never like to go into a bar with

drinking on the table and to say oh I'm

not gonna have one cuz I have to drive

that's preposterous that would have been

I mean because my mind was hijacked and

you could say well Marcos is a

degenerate and he drank and he's

alcoholic and he can't hold his liquor

it's my mind was hijacked and we got a

look at that but yeah really important

it one thing I will say also now this is

not dr. Lee advice this is probably not

good advice health-wise but one thing

that helps me when I went into rehab I

actually started smoking cigars and

sometimes I'll have a pipe or a cigar

and I found that during holidays and you

could smoke or not smoke or you could

find an excuse or whatever during the

holidays in the beginning it was very

easy to go out and have a cigar because

that was like okay these things are

going on I need to go be away from

everything for a minute and it gave me

an excuse to go outside so you know

whatever you want to do you could just

light one up and hold it afar or just

make an excuse to go outside hey I need

fresh air it's really really stuffy in

here

haven't been feeling all that great I'm

gonna go walk outside giving yourself I

think what I'm saying is not so much the

smoking thing but give yourself space

give yourself space to go check

something give yourself space maybe use

your phone as an excuse oh gotta take

this it's work go outside for a minute

you know whatever and you can just go

out and play poker on your phone that's

what I do but you know look at it that

way where it's like hey give yourself

space give yourself plenty of time to

not be in the thick of things because

the more you're in the thick of things

the more you

in there the more issues you're gonna

have and the harder it's gonna be okay

all right let's take a couple others

here by the way I love Jay walkers name

I don't know if that's like his full

name or whatever but I think it's kind

of funny for an alcohol channel to have

a guy called Jay Walker

so yeah Jay says after crying while

drinking a beer because my body needed

it for withdraw and then finally

recovering and for my mind to still

think a drink was a good idea I became

more self-aware yeah right that's that's

what I would do is I'd uh I need the

alcohol for withdrawal and that that was

what what kept my alcohol one of the

things that kept my call is I'm going I

mean I kept on trying to chase it that

feeling that I had but after I quit I

realized I didn't realize what I was

drinking that that's what I was doing

but after I quit I realized that's what

I was doing I was trying to chase this

feeling broken coffee pot hey guys I'm

currently on day seven of a binge

after three weeks sober I can't seem to

stop now though all I desire is to stop

it's 9:00 12:00 a.m. and I've already

had a shot I don't know where to start

well broken coffee pot I don't know

where you are in India addiction or non

addiction or what but if you're

desperate you got to get to a doctor

that's probably the best thing to do

you can also since you're on a computer

you can google you can google of alcohol

help hotlines and they can help get you

a point you in the right direction but

we can't really give you tell you

exactly what to do on here we don't know

you and we're not doctors but but I

would definitely start with some

professional advice

absolutely in certain and also I would

say definitely go to the doctor for the

amount because when you're binge

drinking

it's almost like your body's like

elastic right and you have the rubber

band and you're like stretch it and then

it goes back stretch it and it goes back

and stretch it goes back and what

happens is you're having a bunch which

is like totally screwing up your system

and then it goes back and then you're

having a bunch and then it's going back

and that's a very dangerous thing a lot

of people think because alcohol is

widely accepted in society that it's not

dangerous right and it is it is

absolutely dangerous and detox can be

deadly

detox can be very dangerous it can mess

with your body your mind and all kinds

of things I know for me I ended up

suicidal and in a mental hospital

so for people that are I loved when we

went to rehab and it's like oh you just

do alcohol it's like yeah I do and it's

bad so not one is worse than the other

but I think in terms of detox alcohol is

definitely one of the worst because it

can cause death and you got to get to a

doctor you got to go and say hey dude

this is what's going on be honest I have

15 every night and sometimes I get sober

and then I have 15 I tell him what's

going on that way he knows what to give

you or what to do

so that you don't have seizures and you

don't have issues and everything like

that so go to the doctors first and then

second is educate the heck out of

yourself educate yourself on what's

going on listen to talks read stuff go

to meetings understand things if you got

to check yourself into a rehab do it I

thought it was gonna be like a crazy

terrible humiliating experience I

actually enjoyed it and I didn't go to

one of those where it's like you know

everyone gets a pink puppy all right

this was kind of a you know it's like

rehab for normal folks not the one for

Beverly Hills folks and I still found it

to be a very enlightening experience so

that could be an option as well but if

you don't know how to stop first thing

to do go to the doctor get your detox

plan second thing to do is do education

get a buddy get someone you know that

that you could go to and be like I am

trying to stop this is why in a stuff I

don't know a whole lot about it because

I never did

the sponsor route but a lot of people

have a sponsor and they're like this

dude call feel like drinking hey bud

boom and I can see why that would be

very very helpful and very good and you

know Terry I think did you do sponsor

stuff oh yeah absolutely but if I was to

go out and start drinking I probably

would not call him or I wouldn't call

anybody else I mean I'm just being

honest

if I started drinking I would just

completely isolate and turn off the

world call him when you're ready get

sober again yeah yeah that's probably

how I would be as well that's that's

usually what happens but the key is is

to get the tools so that you don't take

that first drink and you don't start

drinking it's a difficult situation

you're in Broken cuff but you can do it

and it's just a matter of making that

decision to get that help and there you

go that's that's what you need to do

Green River says I took LSD once and I

stopped drinking

well Green River I took LSD and I didn't

stop drinking so what the hell is he has

to do it stop be dirty but it's just

another chemical that I don't know if

it's addictive or not I have no idea but

I don't do I don't put anything into my

body like that so yeah anymore yes and I

think what he might be referring to is

the school of thought in the 60s the

whole idea with Timothy Leary and and

some of the other guys was to enlighten

the world with LSD because a few people

had an enlightening experience and they

wanted to get everyone else to have it

and you know whether that was what was

doing it or not I think the conclusion

that all of those people have now come

to is that you don't need it that you

can have an enlightening experience a

lot of different ways me personally I've

never taken it I'm scared to death to

take it because have you ever seen

someone make it have you ever seen

someone make it you don't want to take

it I mean just very bad and it's

dangerous to anything that alters your

mind is dangerous because you're not

functioning

of your own mind so I would look at that

but if you're looking for some kind of

enlightening stuff what I would do is I

would look into reading I would look

into not drinking

first of all just don't drink and then

read and understand and I find that you

will probably get like the people in the

beginning thought now I know in the

beginning of alcohol literature they

were very spiritual on the site of

biblical Christianity and that was the

spiritual enlightenment but I think what

they were talking about is a spiritual

enlightenment that would enlighten you

to things spiritual not necessarily I'm

spiritually enlightened now I need to go

read the Bible but more so like I'm

aware that there's more going on I'm

aware that I'm not just feel [ __ ] drink

[ __ ] drink

I'm not functioning solely based on

feeling I'm out there and I'm like okay

I'm now enlightened to things more

spiritual not things just to the body

and I hope that made sense but I think

that's what and Richard's mentioning

that they they have studies that show I

know you meant to write LSD stopped

alcohol abuse for me I'm not going to

I'm not gonna replace a drug with a drug

what no matter what the studies say and

I do know people that have tried well I

don't know anybody that's tried to LSD

to quit drinking but I but they've done

other drugs that aren't mind-altering

like the an abuse and stuff like that

and I know people that kept drinking

with it it's really a matter of what

Marcus is talking about here and

educating yourself and getting a way of

life that's without alcohol and changing

your your mindset is so that's that's

what's worked for me I think also what

we have to look at is where it comes

from with you because you are prone to

addiction right I know like I read the

books and I read the studies that you

guys have read and they're like wow this

guy was a total ass and now he's happy

and great and I'm like well I know a lot

of people who were total asses and they

took that and they're still complete

asses so I think it's something internal

whatever it is and I would look for

whatever that is internal and I'll leave

you guys with a story there's a story

that Rahm Das talks about and if you

guys haven't read Ramdas or listen to

Rahm Das and you're interested in this

topic listen to it

and he's talking about he goes to his

guru in India and this dude's like this

old man and now my personal belief about

a guru is this you go to a guru and

you're like guru I'm so stressed about

my job and my credit cards and my wife

and my kids and I'm stressed about this

and he sits there and he laughs in your

face because he has no idea how Western

culture works and you go holy [ __ ] this

guy doesn't give two rips about

everything I'm going through and that's

the enlightenment experience right is

like he doesn't give a [ __ ] people don't

give a [ __ ] and ramadasa is talking

about his guru and his gurus like oh I

want to try this medicine that you have

speaking of what you guys are talking

about that you guys have and I'm gonna

try it and he tries it and it does

nothing to him and he's like what the

hell's the point it might as well have

eaten but water and the idea is is that

that's not what it's coming from that's

not where you're getting it where you're

getting it is from within you and if you

look at that and you say wow I can sit

here in and of myself and I could take

all my problems seriously I can take all

this stuff that has been preconditioned

in Western culture or wherever you live

and I could take it seriously like those

people in the Prison Experiment

or I could be like you know what it

doesn't really matter all that much in

the grand scheme of things what matters

is myself my health the people I love

and what I do on earth good right that

that's what really matters and we can

look at it and we could look for

enlightenment at the top of a mountain

or it could be like enlightening is

really deconditioning it's

deconditioning from society we have been

conditioned to think that certain things

matter the fact that it's difficult to

stop drinking is because we've been

conditioned to think pretty girls and

alcohol successful men and little hotty

totty cups and alcohol and this in

alcohol

this and success equals rolls-royce and

Mercedes and this and these are the

things we've been precondition to and

when you let all that go that's when you

have a spiritual awakening and you say

wow it doesn't matter I'm literally a

programmed being and now that I realize

that I can be free alright once you

realize that once you're like out all my

desires all the things I ever wanted

mean nothing it doesn't even matter

everything I attain to it's great if I

get it like I'm not saying goals are bad

I'm not saying achieving things as bad

I'm not saying the Rolls Royces and the

Mercedes are bad to each his own right

I'd rather like feed people in other

countries but if you want to drive a

$500,000 car that's totally cool with me

but we got to look at that and say this

is what's going on I have been

programmed and now I'm wakening I'm

waking up and I'm seeing that life isn't

just about my little circle life isn't

something that happens to me life is

something that is happening and I'm part

of it I'm 1/8 billionth of life that's

happening on this earth I'm one of eight

billion people on the planet I'm no more

important than them I'm no less

important than them I am exactly 1 8

billion Thor whatever that would look

like as a fraction I don't even want to

try to figure that out but that's what

it's about

it's about like what what does it matter

if a family member yells at me at

Christmas does it mean I have to go

drink no it doesn't mean anything it

means he probably would have yelled at

someone else if I wasn't there because

that's what he does people that yell

yeah people who worry worry if you have

a problem with worrying you look at it

and like Alan Watts says you could find

anything to worry about if you're the

worrying type so it's not necessarily

that you have a lot to worry about it's

that you're the type of person that's

prone to worry you're gonna think about

drinking if you're the type that drinks

a lot that's what's gonna happen it's

the way your mind works and we have to

look at this and we have to submit and

say this is where I am right now is

where I am I've lived 39 years of my

life and I'm at this moment and all the

stuff that brought me here that form my

thoughts all the stuff that made me

feel the way I feel is now here and now

I could say oh this is terrible whatever

or I could just be like this is where we

are it is what it is this is where we're

at sure sometimes I'll be prone to that

sometimes I'll be prone to this

sometimes I'll fail sometimes I'll have

this but this is where I'm at where do I

go from here right and we could look at

it that way and I think there was

another guy who spoke of enlightenment

and spiritual awakening and he's like

what is it like and the guy was like

well it's exactly like normal life

but you're two inches off the ground and

I love that expression because it's like

you're gonna have struggles you're gonna

have the same fears you're gonna have

the same thoughts and everything but

you're gonna be 2 feet 2 inches off the

ground you're gonna be like you're in

that prison experiment we talked about

earlier but you're gonna you're not

gonna fall for the [ __ ] you're not gonna

think it's real you'll be like guys guys

guys stop fighting this is a stupid

experiment look the doctors right you

could see him right over there that's

not a prison doctor that's some like

weird psychology guy who somehow

convinced the government to fund this

experiment because he's a whack job it's

all fake right and that's the two inches

off the ground so I'm full of rambling

in rats today I hope it helps someone

yeah all right Jay Walker you said I am

the only alcoholic who tried to lose

beer pong on purpose and you know Jay no

you're not the game when I was in

college was quarters and yeah I lose on

purpose or I'd make the corner in the

beer and and make myself drink and come

on that's that's I think pretty much

most alcoholics were that way all right

so any last minute questions we'll take

a couple more for like five minutes then

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pretty cool

but yeah okay jaywalker has one more it

says does that jail experiment symbolic

of reality in society no it was actually

a real experiment you can actually look

it up there was a documentary made about

it I would not recommend the documentary

to the faint of heart because it's kind

of difficult to watch but it's called

the Sanford Prison Experiment was

actually done in the 70s but yes in my

bringing it up it is about the roles we

are playing and you know we're buying

our role like I'm Marcus the tough guy

or the weak guy or the damaged one or I

was abused or I was this or I have to

make this money or I'm successful and

what's in I'm right Who am I and we have

to look at that and say I can either

either look at my life and be who I am

like I think this way or I could be like

thinking is what my mind does right I

could be the observer and I can watch

myself think and that's the difference

like if you're in the Prison Experiment

and you're buying the stuff and you're

like yeah I'm in it and we're really

here that's like being the thinker I am

the thinker or you could step back and

be like huh yeah of course my brain

wants a beer it had a beer every time it

was said and now I'm sad and obviously

it wants a beer doesn't mean I'm some

weakling doesn't mean anything it just

means you know yeah you plugged this

wire in here and you plug it in there

and in the old days if you remember

those telephones and you get Aunt Mary

or if you plug it here and here you're

gonna get dad if you plug it here and

here you're gonna get Terry and that's

how the phone worked that's what's

happened in your mind you plug it here

and then you plug it to alcohol when

this one gets in its gonna go Boop let's

go to alcohol doesn't mean anything

right it just means that you drank a lot

that's all it means you know

so yeah all right any last-minute

thoughts there Terry well just binge

drinking it you know if you're thinking

if you think you're a binge drinker or

you are a binge drinker and you're just

wondering if you are an alcoholic

because you've been binge drink I mean

look at look at what it's doing to your

life are you having negative

consequences because of the drinking and

the fact that you're here maybe it's

something you need to look at and just

be honest with yourself be willing to

figure out what's going on and try and

figure it out take a look at it and

thank you everybody we really appreciate

your comments and leave us some more

comments after we're done here we'd love

to hear from you guys awesome stuff if

you guys have any ideas for topics that

you want us to cover in our next talks

put them on one of the videos I do try

to read all the comments we get so if

you guys are like hey I really want a

video on how to deal with Aunt Sally at

Christmas I might not know who Aunt

Sally is but I'll do a video about how

to deal with your aunt on Christmas or

whatever and we'll go from there but

yeah give us some ideas of what you want

us to cover what struggles you struggle

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stay sober together through this holiday

and through many years because life is

way better when you don't drink thanks

again for watching we'll see you next

time thank you buddy