How To Overcome Fear And Anxiety In 30 Seconds

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hey guys Stefan here from

projectlifemastery.com in this video I

want to talk to you about how to

overcome fear now fear is something that

I'm familiar with because I grew up with

a lot of it if you don't know my story I

speak very shy I used to have a lot of

anxiety a lot of fear I was a video

gamer so I just you know protect myself

from fear just by spending all my time

by myself at home and from the computer

where I'd be totally safe and sure

enough I had goals I had desires you

know it when I was young in high school

I wanted to meet women and have a

girlfriend things like that but my fear

kept me back my fear paralyzed me

in fact I also remember you know being

in high school whenever the teacher

would call upon me to say something in

class I would just always freak out I

would have a panic I mean that died

member certain times I would ask to go

to the bathroom or excused myself or my

face would turn red and get embarrassed

I was horrible at public speaking so

I've made an incredible transformation

and tell many extents I've been able to

overcome fear now I believe that fear is

natural fear is something that we all

experience and really it's hardwired

into us as humans and it's a good thing

because fear keeps us alive fear is

there to keep us safe to protect us you

know we need to have a comfort zone in

some way because you know that's what's

kept us for thousands of years running

away from dinosaurs and things like that

so the fear is a good thing however in

certain circumstances you need to learn

how to overcome fear to use fear to your

advantage and not have that fear stop

you you know there's a great book if you

feel the fear and do it anyway so like

it says in the book you know we all have

fear you need to feel it but you still

need to do it anyways you can't let that

fear hold you back you can't let it stop

you so I have a few things to share on

this subject I think it really helped

you in overcoming fear so that it's not

holding you back in your life and you

can start to take action and move

forward the first thing I want you to

understand is that fear is an emotion

okay fear is emotion it's a state it's

an emotional state that we experience

and it's really no different than

happiness or anger or frustration or

confidence or inner peace or whatever

these are all different emotions

emotional states all different feelings

that we

and in order to experience certain

emotional states there's a certain

pattern that we all experience in our

bodies in our minds and in our language

that basically put us in that state of

mind of fear and whatever emotions that

we have you know if you studied neural

linguistic programming which I got my

practitioner certification not too long

ago it talks a lot about you learn a lot

about emotional states emotional

patterns and how we are the ones that

are in control of these emotions you

know a lot of people believe that I feel

fear and I feel angry and frustrated and

all that because of external sources we

believe that it's because of your boss

or is because of this thing or the

recession or the economy and that's

that's just something that triggers it

however that fear those emotions are

something that you have a hundred

percent control over you have no control

over the outside world but you have a

hundred percent control of your inner

world and what things means you have a

hundred percent control of how you

decide to use your body how you decide

to use your focus and how you decide to

use your language and those are all

three things that radically change the

ways that the ways that we feel so let

me ask you a question right now if

you're in that fearful state if you have

fear or anxiety or however you want to

describe it what's your body like when

you have fear because we all have a

certain pattern and you know it's a lot

of things are very universal but for

some people it could be a little bit

different but if I were to ask you if

you could remember a time in your life

when you felt fear you felt anxiety you

felt scared to do something maybe it was

a goal of business public speaking

whatever it is you know if you were to

ask yourself how are you how are you

using your body in that moment what

would it be my light you know my my

guess is that if you're fearful or

you're scared if you were to go back to

that moment your physiology might be you

know slouched to slouched over you know

maybe you'd be kind of more closed off

in your body maybe your breathing would

be very shallow you know what would that

expression be on your face you know

these are all things that affect how we

feel now you might say this think that

that sounds very simple and it is but

how we use our body or physical

he affects how we feel you know emotion

is created by motion and so you know if

you took any person as scared or fearful

there's a certain physiology to them

there's a certain way they're using

their body maybe they have tension in

their body their shoulders are down

their you know their breathing is

shallow they're looking down if you know

if I were to take myself when I was you

know young and shy and you were to say

to me go talk to that girl over there I

would immediately go into a state of

fear and I'd be very shy and I was very

closed off and you know I'd be looking

down I couldn't keep good eye contact my

voice would be quiet there's a certain

physiology to that there's a physiology

to the fear so that's the first thing

that I want you to look at is how are

you used in your body when you when you

are fearful when you are scared a second

part is what do you focus on what do you

have to think about that makes you feel

fearful you know because I can almost

guarantee that if you have a state of

fear and you're accessing that emotion

it's because you're focusing on certain

things that are making you feel that way

you know I'll just use the example of me

you know trying to talk to a girl when I

was younger you know so if you're say

hey you know go talk to that girl over

there and I'd be scared and fearful what

would I be focusing on well you know

she's probably not gonna like me I'm

probably gonna get rejected it's not

going to work out I'm probably gonna

fail I'm gonna embarrass myself in front

of everybody she probably has a

boyfriend she's going to tell me the f

off you know I'd have all these thoughts

going through my head which is what I'm

focusing on the more that I focus on

that of it not working out and the

worst-case scenarios the more fear I'm

going to feel okay is that makes sense

so your focus is also another core

component of what's going to determine

how you feel but not just your focus but

how you represent things to yourself in

your mind you know we learn this in

neuro linguistic programming that the

images that we make the size of them the

the color the shape the distance all

these things are called sub modalities

all amplify are intensified different

emotions because focus when you focus on

things really just making pictures in

your mind okay so what do you focus on

what kind of thoughts and and things do

you focus on to feel that fear and the

third piece is what kind of words do you

use what kind of language patterns do

you use what do you say to yourself you

know oh it's not going to work out she's

not going to like me I'm not good enough

for her

all those words all those phrases also

produce different emotions as well so

when you understand that fear is just a

pattern fear is a state you have total

control of that and you can shift it you

can change it and so what I'd sure what

I'd like to invite you to do you can

maybe you know listen to me first but

but I'd like to invite you to do is that

anytime you notice yourself experiencing

that state of fear and you feel those

emotions is to immediately change those

three factors that I just mentioned okay

so if I were to ask you right now you

know what's the opposite of fear you

know maybe you'd love to experience

confidence or certainty in your body and

if I were to ask you how would you stand

or use your body if you feel comfortable

if you felt relaxed you felt confident

and certain what would that physiology

look like you know likely your head

would be a pee pee back or shoulders up

maybe a smile on your face a certain

look in your eyes you know a way that

you're breathing maybe it's more full

maybe there's you know more relaxation

in your body hand gestures where your

voice is louder better eye contact again

confident certainty relaxation there's a

certain physiology as a certain body

language that also if you you know we're

totally fearless and you're totally


what would you be focusing on what kind

of thoughts what you have just an

example of you know me trying to go talk

to a girl tell you is that again um you

know I think probably if I was confident

and relaxed I probably think about well

she's just gonna love me you know why

wouldn't she want to meet me or you know

I'm gonna add value to her I'm gonna

make her a day better I'm gonna leave

her better off for having met me or you

know I I'm amazing I'm good enough you

know everybody wants to meet me you know

so having a different focus your

thoughts and your focus is much much

different when you're in state of

confidence and the last piece what kind

of words what kind of language so if

you're a confident what would you say to

yourself what kind of words or phrases

would you use you know it might be I can

do this or this will work out or I can

make this happen you know what is the

words and the phrases that will empower

you as opposed to the ones that limit

you so those three factors your of your

state your emotions of this pattern of

how you use your body

your focus and your language also known

as the triad which Tony Robbins said

talks about as well as in neural

linguistic programming is called your

emotional triad

you know what would that be for you if

you're a confident and what I suggest

for you to overcome this fear is to

recognize that you're in control of your

state and you can put yourself in the

state in any moment that you want any

moment that you decide you know I I'm

really big into having morning rituals

and every day I put myself into a

certain state because I like to

condition it so that it becomes part of

me when I was shy and introverted and

quiet and fearful my default state my

default way of being was that you know I

just walk around everyday there'd be a

certain physiology I'd have the same

thoughts the same focus and use the same

words and so I just kept you know

repeating the pattern I feeling the

exact same thing and it wasn't till I

broke myself out of that and I decided

you know what I need to proactively get

myself in the states that I want to

experience every day of confidence and

certainty and being comfortable and

relaxed I need to proactively do that so

that I can change that baseline state

that I experience in a daily basis and

so every day I would just get myself in

state I put on some music I get myself

fired up I would you know work on my

physiology my eye contact my voice my

body language my focus my thoughts

affirmations incantations everything

that I could to condition that state and

sure enough I became someone that's

confident that confidence that certainty

that it just became my baseline state

and the fear and the anxiety diminished

it went away I can still feel it and

experience it but anytime it comes up I

know how to trigger and get myself back

into the peaks data I want to be in and

I just take action any way I do it the

more that you think about in your head

the worse that it gets and so you really

need to be you know just can't hesitate

at all and just go for it do it but

change your state first and recognize

that you know if you catch yourself in a

certain environment just pay attention

to your breathing pay attention the way

you're using your body

pay attention to words the thoughts the

focus that you're saying yourself and if

you can do that you'll be able to have

full control over your emotions now this


and you'll be able to use it to your

advantage in order to get what you

really want to do whatever you want to

do or experience whatever you want to

experience in your life so hopefully

this video has been helpful for you I

want to thank you so much for watching

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