Tell Your Toxic Job Goodbye!

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let's go to kelsey who's on the line in

Wichita Kansas Kelsey you're on the Ken

Coleman show hi Ken oh I'm so excited

with the opportunity to talk with you

taking my call I'm happy to you know I'm

excited to talk to you you just have

some juice and I like it

well yeah thank you and I would love to

hear your advice and expertise on with a

work environment is too toxic

it wouldn't when it's time to leave okay

so tell me in your most specific terms

how you think your current environment

is toxic describe the toxicity mm-hmm I

would compare it to being very similar

to be in an abusive relationship or

maybe a loved one or a spouse or it gets

so bad you want to leave and then they

throw money at you or raises and it's

good for a little while and then it's

just a cycle so what's HAP tell me what

what it how is it abusive to you

personally sure um it's very controlling

I'm in marketing so a lot of graphic

design and strategy is put behind it and

very our CEO is very very hands-on and

then requiring more than 50 hours a week

a lot of the time but then throwing you

know really great raises at you I mean

between 15 and 20 percent when he knows

you're about to leave but again and

again well I want to answer you honestly

doesn't sound like it's a very healthy

environment because you feel pressured

to work more hours and you want to work

but what else is going on I didn't hear

anything other than him being a micro

manager tell me tell me something else

what else what else do I need to know

that makes this toxic because right now

I don't hear the abuse part mm-hmm sure

okay um well I guess for me it's being

in a creative position a lot of the

creativity is taken away from me and

maybe that's where it is from yeah

because you feel like wait a second

you're telling me exactly how to do it

as opposed to me

listening to the client listening to you

and then coming up with what I think

works and allowing me to create and

you're not allowed to create and that's

sapping your energy

you nailed on the head okay well I would

say that's toxic I'm good I just want to

make sure do you understand what I'm

saying cuz I never want to give blanket

advice on something until I have a good

sense of the the true environment you're

dealing with and as a creative you are

being stifled it's like he's throwing a

blanket or she's throwing a blanket over

top of you and you're ready to leave how

many times if you wanted to leave

ballpark every three months since I

worked there for about almost three

years and how many raises is you have

you gotten out of that promotions yeah

did the promotions come with more money


it's been about twenty-five thousand

dollar increase I'm starting from three

years ago yeah so I'm just gonna take a

guess that you know who's to blame who's

to blame in this situation yes the

leader of that the owner of the business

the company no no it's you you who you

have accepted his behavior you have told

him that his behavior is acceptable as

long as he throws money and promotion at

you okay you're letting him beat you up

a little bit and as long as he brings

home roses and some jewelry you stay yes

we are so right I'm using your analogy I

am NOT making light of domestic abuse

but I'm using your analogy of abusive

relationship and so the it obviously

he's being he's not being a great leader

but in this situation this is not an

abusive marriage this is a situation

where you can walk at any time and you

have wanted to but every time he throws

more money at you and a promotion you

you allow your lizard brain to go well

this is stupid if I walk away from a

raise and a promotion

does that sound about right yes

so Kelsey I am not picking on you okay

but I put you to the test I thought you

were gonna ya thought you're gonna

figure it out but this is all on you now

he doesn't this guy doesn't own you

you're right you're absolutely right no

way and let me tell you something else

there might be a touch of fear in you to

to leave because you go well it's not

great here but at least I know that I

got a place to go and he's gonna keep

throwing raises at me once I start

showing my nerves or whatever you know

and I think for you you got to know that

you can go out and make just as much

money if not more and I believe more but

you're gonna have to find a better place

to step into so I'd stay where you are

right now because you're a big girl and

you've been able to put up with this so

far but I would be actively looking to

leave so the answer is you need to get

out of that environment it's not helping

you at all you want out you want to

enjoy your work don't you I do so badly

yet how exciting would it be to actually

create something as a designer that that

was truly collaborative between you and

the customer or whatever the situation

is and you got a leader doing nothing

other than great job Kelsey way to go

this is good work how would that feel I

don't think anything can be better

then would you please go do that please

for you for me it's not for me I want

you to do it for you because you deserve

it Kelsey all right hey I appreciate you

you got this you got this hey folks

listen a lot of the situations that we

stay in it's not someone else's fault it

is our fault let me say it again this is

America if you are in a bad situation

that you continue to stay in I'm not

saying you are responsible for and the

source of the bad situation but it is

your fault if you stay there get out of

Dodge get out now

big giant Asterix for a second don't

leave today unless you really are in

some type of crazy you know in the

abusive situation then get out of there

and call the police

outside of that hang tough hang tight

you've stayed in there this long it's

your daggone fault you're miserable not

mine or anybody else's so do what you

got to do to stay there so that you can

step out of this current situation that

you don't like or you're stuck and into

a new situation

don't just Geronimo jump unless

financially you're able to do so those

would be my two caveats all right