Friends. How to quit a gym membership.

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card oh yeah gym member I try to go four

times a week but I've missed the last

1,200 times

so why don't you quit you don't think

I've tried you think I like having

$50.00 taken out of my bank account

every month no they make you go all the

way down there then they use all these

phrases and peppiness to try to confuse

you and then they bring out Maria who is

Maria Oh Maria you can't say no to her

she's like this lycra spandex covered

gym treat do you need me to go down

there with you and hold your hand no all

right so you're strong enough to face

her alone

oh no you'll have to come oh hey now

remember what we talked about you gotta

be strong yes yes one more time hey

don't you want a washboard stomach and

rock-hard pecs no I want a flabby gut

and saggy man-breasts good that's good

I want to quit the gym you want to quit

I want to quit the gym you do realize

you won't have access to our new

full-service suite of spa I want to quit

the gym okay Dave in the membership

office handles quitters excuse me are

you remember me no sorry

members only I want to quit the gym okay

man be strong hmm hmm so are you a

member of any gym no and I'm not going

to be so you can save your little speech

okay no problem could you come here for

a second

hi I'm Maria hmm okay so did you commit

no I almost did couldn't leave Ross

there without a spotter

wait night so you joined the gym and

that's funny why oh I was just you know

picturing you working out and um oh

that's it we're doomed okay they're

gonna take 50 bucks a month out of our

accounts for the rest of our lives what

are we gonna do well you could actually

go to the gym

or or we could go to the bank close our

accounts and cut them off at the source

you're a Jesus man but then we won't be

back buddies now there's two reasons

hello I we'd like to close our accounts

close your accounts is there some kind

of problem no no no we just like to

close them okay miss Lambert handles all

our closures would you come over here


hi I'm Karen I want to quit the bank so

you didn't leave the big no and somehow

we ended up with a joint checking


what are you ever gonna use it for to

pay for the gym