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Lifehacker. How to Play MASH

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today I'll teach you how to play mash

mash or smash or mash rap is a

fortune-telling game played by kids all

you need for it is a piece of paper a

pencil and a friend at the top you write

out mash this game is about picking

which of several futures you're going to

have and mash is the start of it

that's mansion apartment Shack and house

sometimes a chess hotel after you've

written out mash you're going to pick

some categories usually this is the

person you're gonna marry your number of

kids you'll have your job the salary

you'll make at that job it's something

like your car and where you'll live now

you can fill out the first examples of

each category so I grow up I might marry

Tina Fey Oprah or Judi Dench its

traditional for one of your friends to

pick the fourth option in every category

and it should be a terrible option now

if your friend tries to be nice and

they're like oh I want them to marry

someone I know that's not the point so

it would be our third grade teacher mrs.

Fenner now you fill out the rest of the

categories similarly


or a janitor no disrespect to genders

lovely job make a million dollars or a

penny a tenth of a penny in most regions

you're gonna pick your car New York City

kids are not gonna be familiar with this

so maybe it'll be the Q train or a Hot

Wheels and finally where you're gonna

live New York poop town we're in grade



now that you've written out all your

options you need to randomize the most

common method I think developed first at

MIT or CERN is to straw a spy role until

your friends has stopped now count the

gaps between the spiral

seven we're gonna go through and strike

out every seventh option beginning with

the letters of mash one two three four

five six seven

Oh one two three four five six seven one

two three four five six seven one two

three four five six seven gay and then

we start right back wherever we are in

the count at the top with mash

one two three four


you're inevitably going to mess this up

and one of your friends is going to yell

at you and it doesn't matter one two

three I messed it up I might be making a

penny this is one of the risks of

playing mash the future is fickle to

punish myself I'm gonna make a tenth of

a penny not a million dollars now we can

move on from this 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4

5 6 7 I live in a shack makes sense 1 2

3 4 5 6 7 I have a thousand kids 1 2 3 4

5 6 7 Staten Island 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 no

jalopy I Drive a Jeep and then you can

write out your whole fortune in longhand

if you don't want to deal with the

encoded version here so I live in a

shack with a thousand kids that I had

with Tina Fey I'm a spy for McDonald's

but it only pays a tenth of a penny but

I do get to drive a Jeep

all around Staten Island