What Is Ego - How Your Ego Dictates Your Entire Life

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hey this is Leo for actualised org and

in this video we're gonna talk about

what is ego let's talk a little bit

about what ego is I'm sure you've heard

about it I'm sure you've heard people

talking about the problems that the ego

can cause for you you've probably heard

about ego death you've probably heard

about both positive and negative size of

ego so let's talk about ego and

specifically let's talk about how you

can understand this concept and relate

it to success and personal development

how to get more success in your life by

understanding ego all right so what is

ego ego is basically that that aspect of

yourself that you consider you so that

is when I say you and I say your name

and you think yeah that's me that is ego

ego is basically your self-image of who

you are so ego is a complex construct in

your mind it's sitting both at the

conscious and very very deep

subconscious level so ego is that I that

you think you are it's the thoughts and

the emotions that you are identified

with it's the beliefs that you think are

rock solid and completely true it's what

you think reality is like so that whole

construct and it is a very big and deep

construct it's like a gigantic iceberg

and only the tip of it only the tip of

it like the the 10% of it is sticking

out of the water and the other 90% are

all submerged and really you don't know

what they are is just operating is just

working so the ego is you and the ego

has a couple of features that it does so

the ego the fundamental thing that the

eeo does is that it separates itself

from everything else that's out in the

world so if you're coming from the ego

and this is 99.999% of people including

myself is what you do is you say okay

this is me and everything else you look

at as not you right that desk is not you

that other

person is not you that other country is

not you so you are a very distinct you

or just your mind and your body the skin

that you've got and everything beyond

your skin is something else so you have

that very clear separation this is

something that you get as a biological

entity as an organism who needs to

survive and depends on survival and

reproduction and so we as a species and

really every living organism has a sense

of this the sense of eyeness the sense

of this is me this is what's really

really important and the other stuff not

so important sure you can love your

spouse and you can love your kids and

you can you can love the business that

you built and you can even love your

your iPod or your iPhone but there's

still a big difference between that and

really being identified with yourself so

the ego is that identification with

yourself now why are you talking about

ego what's the big deal okay so it seems

that this is kind of a kind of a an

intuitive notion well the problem there

is that the ego is very clingy and the

ego is very self-preservation 'el and so

what it does especially if you're trying

to get to higher levels of achievement

and success and consciousness in your

life is that the ego tends to hold you

back because it's got a lot of inertia

and weight to it and it doesn't always

want to go out there and explore reality

for what it really is because what's

happened is that ego has been built up

regardless of how attached you are to

yourself right now the fact is that you

and your notion of you is highly highly

illusory and fictitious and I know you

don't want to hear that and I don't want

to hear it the ego doesn't want to hear

it but it's a very arbitrary way in

which the ego came about it just came

about through the experiences that you

had in the early childhood and then

early adulthood all the way up to now

and every experience that you had in

your whole life from birth to this

current day this current second has has

added something to your ego and what's

created is created this giant yarn ball

of all these different strands

all tightly interwoven and now it's like

an object it's like a thing it's got its

own mass to it and it it's hard to

reorganize that it's hard to go in there

and pull a strand out and and create

something actually useful out of it

something that's going to get you a

better level of performance and so

that's what a lot of personal

development is about is about working

with your ego because if your ego is too

big and that's what we say when you

would say someone Oh someone yeah he's

got a really big ego what does that

usually mean that means yeah he's kind

of a he's a jackass he's stubborn he's

not open-minded right and that's that's

kind of what it is but that's very

surface level understanding of you go

much deeper understanding of ego is that

you've got these beliefs and you've got

this big network this ball of yarn and

that is responsible for all your

behaviors all your actions all your

beliefs all your thoughts and this is a

very arbitrary thing even though we

think that this is so precious that we

can't change it that if we changed our

most cherished beliefs then then

something horrible would happen the

world would collapse and in reality what

happens is that the world would not

collapse only your ego would collapse

what would happen is that your ego would

evolve to a higher level of

consciousness to a new state and in that

new state if you do this process

correctly then that ego will be lessened

it will be less judgmental it will have

less boundary between itself and the

rest of the world it'll be more calm it

will be less neurotic it'll be more

comfortable and it'll be in a position

to perform better so you get better

result out of your life when you numb

that ego down and you rub it out and you

kill it and the ultimate end of this is

the process and the state of

enlightenment which you can reach in

which Buddhist monks for example reach

after decades of meditation and

contemplation is that what happens is

through a very rigorous training process

they literally numbed down their ego so

much that they dissolve it and they no

longer have that boundary between

themselves and the rest of the world and

they feel a sense of oneness that we

can't even imagine

I have not gone through this process

although something that I'm working on

actively right now it could take me some

time to get to where I want to be there

but they go they've gone through this

process and so now they have a sense of

oneness with the world with the universe

and that's what they talk about oneness

that one point in mind that enlightened

boot of mind it's that you are no longer

distinct from anything else

you see yourself as part of everything

else connected to everything else and

you no longer judge things as good and

bad and you no longer cling to your

beliefs so much and you no longer resist

suffering and you no longer resist pain

you just kind of go with the flow and

when you do that well you get a

tremendous sense of a personal power

control over yourself emotional

stability because nothing can shake you

because what do you care you are one

with the world literally you do not care

because you see as everything being part

of you you see you being part of

everything else so there is no good and

bad there is nothing that needs to be

corrected there is nothing that is

distinct from you your body getting cut

or even death is not a big deal because

it's you're just part of the system this

kind of a deep deep notion the first

time you hear about it you might think

that's kind of kind of wacky kind of far

out there and metaphysical and not

really not really the thing for me but

the fact is that this is what happens

it's just that most people this happens

to everybody I would argue it's just

that most people do not reach that

complete state of enlightenment what

happens though is that throughout your

life whether you even undertake this

process or you don't you're going to be

forced to adjust your ego to the

circumstances that are happening to you

except what's gonna happen there's gonna

be a lot of resistance so for example

maybe you have a horrible breakup you

have a divorce and that just has a big

traumatic scar on you on your ego and

now your ego has has had to change to

adapt to that to that pressure that was

put on it or maybe you do meditation

meditation makes you feel you do a

little bit of meditation everyday and

that meditation makes you feel a little

bit more calm more relaxed a little bit

more connected to the world you're not

completely connected you've still got

your ego but it's a little bit rub you

know rubbed out a little bit numb numb

down and so through this this kind of

process of just living life and learning

about life and experiencing the ups and

the downs your ego your ego kind of

evolves and it goes from the kind of ego

that it was when you were a kid

basically it was all me me me me me me

me you know yelling at your mom to come

to come help you to come give you give

you some assistance give you some

pleasure give you some safety and some

comfort kind of going away from that and

becoming more responsible more

independent more open-minded and slowly

as you're exposed to more experiences in

life you become more and more open

minded and you start to see that good

and bad is really a more relative thing

than you ever thought it was and as

you're getting that as you're getting

that notion and your egos is kind of

expanding out and it's dissolving you

start to notice that it's easier to

control yourself you start to notice

you're not so neurotic you're not so

anxious you're not so worried all the


your thoughts do not have a a grasp over

you maybe you don't identify with

certain thoughts the way that you used

to in the past simply because you've

you've suffered too much from that I

mean and that's basically what Buddhist

monk do is they sit for hours and hours

every day for tens and tens of years

until eventually they kind of just

they're they're eager just kind of like

like it it crumbles under its own weight

and then they get this relief but I

think all of us are go through that

process this is a gradual process that

you go through and so that is basically

what ego is and I think that you know

all of us mortals unless we're Buddhist

monks all of us mortals I have a really

strong sense of ego and I'm not really

expecting you to go out there and to to

solve that problem right now I just want

you to be aware of it I want you to

understand how judgemental you are this

is huge

how many judgments are you making per


practice just spend a day monitoring how

much you're judging things and by

judging I simply mean putting a value on

it because there's two ways to go about

life one way and I there's something

there's it's a spectrum but we're going

to talk about the two poles of this

spectrum the two ends one end is where

everything is judged according to some

sort of metric some sort of value so

everything I look at I'm like The

Terminator I'm scanning it and I have

like a target in in my mind and this

target is saying target acquired

good bad do this do that that's one way

the other way is to just be in life be

totally in the moment and everything's

okay nothing is bad nothing is good

everything just is it's being right

those are the two far ends of the

spectrum and most of us are somewhere in

the middle although I would argue much

much further towards this scanning and

judging type of type of mindset and then

the scanning judging mindset everything

that you're looking at you're judging

and you're evaluating you know oh he

didn't do that oh he just threw a

cigarette butt at the window

he's littering that's bad oh she told me

that she didn't like my shirt she was

rude that's bad or it's like oh she

didn't approve me because of what I said

that's bad or oh he did something here

which is good and we go through our

whole day and a whole week and a whole

life like this judging everything has

some sort of purpose things that happen

to us that are favorable to our ego we

love and we're excited and happy about

and the things that are unfavorable

we're depressed about we're miserable

about we're frustrated about and so what

happens is that we go through life in

this up and down playing this

up-and-down game this whole game of

chasing after things that are good and

and avoiding the things that are bad and

as your ego is dissolved and you see

yourself as more part of the whole

universe and just start to take in the

being and be more in the present moment

then you start to dissing you move away

from the judgment and

you become more at peace more calm more

your natural you you raise your level of

consciousness so that's ultimately what

do you go is about it's about raising

the level of consciousness I'm going to

wrap it up here I'm signing off please

this is a very deep and fascinating

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