3 Steps to Emotional Freedom/Overcome Emotional Triggers and Master your Emotions/Lisa A Romano

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Namaste Everybody, Lisa A. Romano the breakthrough life coach and today I

want to talk about a topic that is very near and dear to my heart and that is

emotional triggers and the reason I want to talk about it is that is because I

think the more we understand hello Alice the more we understand our emotional

triggers the more emotional control we can have over our lives and we can

experience more flow and more abundance if we can figure out what is like

kinking us and what is keeping us stuck and so um I've written out a little

outline that I wanted to share with everybody so let's identify what

emotional triggers are number one so emotional triggers are related to

anything that elicits a very strong response in us the fight-or-flight

response so people situations words phrases tone

experiences even the way someone walks their walk contribu it could trigger you

back to perhaps a time when you were bullied in school and this person may

walk like your bully what are the emotions that we feel that are tied to

triggers so think about intense emotions intense sadness intense fear intense

panic intense doom-and-gloom intense intense rage and intense anger

anger the need to fight and push back or to run away or to dissociate right like

very often times when we are we are triggered

we just we start dissociating we are losing touch with what's happening in

the now this is what happens to us when we're trigger so let's talk about some

of the causes of triggers so most of us would understand that trauma right can

cause us later on in life to experience triggers any type of childhood trauma

can set us up to have this this default trigger in our minds as adults and can

literally wreak havoc on our lives in our bodies later on in life so becoming

more aware of what these triggers are and how they affect us today physically

and chemically and relationship-wise you know at work with in with our children

with our spouses with friends can very much help improve the

quality of our lives it's important for us to realize that we're built for

preservation you know our egos are designed to

preserve a certain level of integrity our egos were designed to protect us and

so any thoughts or ideas or people that we come in contact with or beliefs of

others that threaten our ego will cause a trigger response so we're talking

about ego preservation it's a natural its natural for human beings egos to

want to protect the inner child's experience right so we have to

understand that when our egos feel threatened it can trigger this very

intense emotional reaction in us so how does the body respond when we are

triggered there is this onslaught of stress responses hormones in our body

and we are flooded with cortisol and all sorts of stimulating hormones that cause

us to sweat cause us to feel dizzy lightheaded

sometimes nauseous our hearts beat like they're gonna fall out of our chests

sometimes our heads get really really hot and I think that's because of this

rush of hormones like the sphere responds like oh my god my life is in

danger you know we can like I said earlier we can we can experience

dizziness sweating of our hands definitely heart palpitations pins and

needles you know in our fingers and in our feet sometimes we actually start to

lose sensation in parts of our bodies when we're highly highly triggered

another very common physical reaction to a trigger is the inability to talk it's

like it's like there's a block from our throat to you know our navel and we

can't get air out we can't defend ourselves because we literally feel like

we're under attack and the body can't preserve itself emotionally through

conversation when it feels like it needs to either run away or fight and so what

happens is we can be sitting at our desk or being at

luncheon and be triggered by something that someone says and we can't move and

we on some level know it's not appropriate to you know turn the table

over you know and punch somebody in the face or whatever or scream we might know

that that's not appropriate and so oftentimes we feel stuck so what

will happen is we will feel in the moment like we're being triggered and

we'll feel blocked if we're in a situation that we have deemed I can't

speak out right now right and sometimes it's in those situations with families

right if you come from a dysfunctional family and you've been triggered and you

know that if you call someone out on something that it's just gonna get worse

and so you might feel this blocking of the throat chakra which is very common a

major cause of emotional triggers is when we are dealing with somebody who

thinks differently than we do or doesn't see the world quite the way we do and

this is conflicting right it causes confliction we want people to agree with

us think about religion how many wars and how many people have died over

perceptions and their view of God right so think about people who felt like they

need to defend themselves their lives and their families in their countries

because of this conflicting idea and this conflicting belief and so when

people have conflicting beliefs from from us then we actually feel like what

we think and who we are because we're all tied to what we think and so many of

us wrap our identity up and our values and our beliefs and what we think and so

when we meet somebody who doesn't agree with us it can threaten us and make us

feel like we are that our identity and who we are is being threatened and that

can cause a very serious emotional trigger we are designed to thrive our

body cells are designed to preserve us our ego is designed designed to preserve

us so when in in the now experience our life feels threatened right and perhaps

we hear a car backfire and we've been to war and we've heard these mortars go off

and these guns go off we can be emotionally triggered and this panic

response the stress response can be activated and take over our bodies and

take over our minds and take over our behaviors fear of losing control over

our bodies like in the case with sexual abuse you know we all have a natural

need to feel in control over our bodies and when we have been abused physically

when we have been abused sexually and we have felt this overpowering of us we

definitely feel threatened our body is threatened our survival is threatened

and so we will have this traumatic experience seared into our minds right

into long-term memory we will have a visceral reaction tied to that

experience and when we are in a similar experience as an adult today perhaps

like someone tickling us or you know one of our friends walks up behind us and

gives us a bear hug that can create a trigger and it's completely normal to

have that trigger curve because we are built

for preservations our bodies are built to preserve us and so anything that

threatens us and triggers us will create this autonomic and automatic response

and we have to be aware of it so that we can have gained some control over our

triggers so that we can live a more abundant and flowing life so let's talk

about what we can do about emotional triggers so I want to talk about before

you actually have an a trigger while you have a trigger and what you can do after

you have a trigger so the first thing that we can do is I want you to make

this is before so before you actually have an emotional trigger what we want

to do is we want to address this address this hypersensitive stress response that

you have to these possible triggers so you want to get out ahead of it don't

wait if you can so what I like to do what I have done is I have actually made

an inventory list of the types of conversations the types of language the

situations the type of personalities right the type of humor because

sometimes you know humor is a big trigger for a lot of us what people say

I was just kidding you know what are you're so sensitive for so you know I

definitely have Fraser's phrases that I am more

sensitive to than maybe someone else and so I've made a list I made an inventory

list of the types of things that trigger me so that's the first thing I want to

do so then what you want to do is you want you want to ask yourself why why

does that phrase bother me where did that phrase come from when did I first

hear it what does it remind me of what do I think my ego was trying to protect

me from you know what was happening on the level of my ego when I was triggered

or when I do get triggered by that comment by that conversation by that

type of word or that situation so get out ahead of it when you get out ahead

of it what you're doing is you're actually helping yourself desensitize

yourself to the trigger right and it will help you in the future

just having the observation of it will allow you to reduce the the flood of

adrenaline and the flood of cortisol that happens right you actually get out

ahead of the trigger and it works phenomenally so the more you know what

triggers you the more you make an inventory list so that you're prepared

the better you are to be able to handle the flood of emotions that show up and

chemicals that show up that tend to take over your body while in the middle of an

emotional trigger so let's talk about what we can do while we're in the

trigger let's remember what a trigger is a trigger is a natural response to a

perceived threat in the environment now that threat could be valid like to our

bodily harm or it could be an emotional threat where we're being triggered and

we're feeling like we're not good enough for instance right with so many of us

and so many of you who subscribe to this channel deal with Dale daily I don't

feel good enough so when we're put into a situation where I don't feel good

enough is triggered we can go right into this automatic response or

fight-or-flight right and it's so important that we have tools to use when

triggers so what I like to do is when I'm triggered is now that I know what

triggers me and also it helps to understand what happens to you when you

get triggered from me I feel like I said earlier

like like my brain is almost on fire with this these hormones right and my

heart feels like it's beating out of my chest and I start to feel a little

light-headed so now that I know that and I'm like okay that's a symptom so what

happens is I have this awareness of what's happening to my in my body but my

body is still experiencing those symptoms right because my body is like a

machine in a way so so the certain chemical has been outputted hormonal II

right and so now there's gonna be a natural response in my body and if I can

reduce this attack and I can calm myself down then the hormones that created this

palpitation this foggy feeling and cotton brain as I like to call it if I

can talk to what's happening and I can relax it then the input of the

adrenaline and whatnot that's causing this severe reaction my blood pressure

the whole bit sweaty palms if I can if I can stay aware and I can understand that

this is a symptom then even though my body is going to exceed experiencing

this reaction if I'm if I pay attention what will happen is my breathing will

return to normal my heart will start to slow down and I will feel better in a

short amount of time when we take awareness out of the picture we are the

trigger we are the experience there is no

separation we are one with these emotions and we have absolutely no

control so we are not in an abundant mindset we are in the rabbit hole and we

are decelerated like we are descending right vibrationally emotionally and then

we're opening up all these pockets of pain to past experiences and before we

know it we are reacting like we did when we were in the in the prior experience

that created the trigger in the first place and we don't want that because

that's reactivity and that's not living and that's not abundance that's not

creative right life source and love and everything spiritual is creative it's

about a creative energy it's about creating something new and triggers keep

us stuck in the past and so overcoming our triggers and became a coming

my triggers can help us tap into the creative power and live abundant lives

and so the first thing you want to do is orient yourself to time and space

because when we're triggered we're literally pulled back in time and we are

experiencing in the now our body what we experienced in the past we don't want

that we want creative energy we want flow and so Orient's to orient yourself

to time-space where am I you know I am in my home office I am you

know it is Monday it is 2:00 p.m. you know my daughter just went to work I had

you know a green shake for breakfast I'm ok one of the things that one of the

things that I that I am say to myself often is I'm not a brain surgeon and

nobody's on the operating room table waiting for me to show up and I'm not

stuck in traffic so really everything's ok

in this moment everything's ok right so that might help you the next thing you

want to do is you want to take a deep breath you want to from a higher state

of awareness take control over what's happening in your body only a calm mind

can take a deep breath when you are triggered your respiration is on

autopilot you know your body cannot tell the difference between a perceived

threat and a real threat it can't tell the difference so if you feel like your

foot is stuck on the train tracks your body is going to respond as if it is but

yet you're sitting down right that is going to make you feel show-show

uncomfortable because you've got all this adrenaline flowing and your body

wants to eat a fight fight off an attacker or fight and running away from

an attacker it's fieger or train where it wants to fight the attacker off it

wants to fight the bear you know or it wants to fight the person who is

threatening you and so you have all this adrenaline and all this all these

chemicals inside of your body but you're just sitting still so it doesn't even

make sense on a neurological or biochemical level like what's happening

is is not natural we're supposed to run or fight and then return to a normal

state of homeostasis rather quickly human beings are not designed to sustain

these heightened states of stress and that's why we develop chronic illnesses

and that's why we have we suffer from depression

and that's why we get stuck in so many you know negative thought patterns and

reactions and reactivity because we're not designed to stay in heightened

states of threat we're not designed to live our lives feeling threatened all

the time right and so that's why it's so important that we learn to talk

ourselves down I'll just take a deep breath oriented orient ourselves to time

and space and I also like to blow out forcefully like I literally you know I

just collapsed my chest I want to get whatever's blocking me out you know so

try that also get get up and move move your hands rub your hands together shake

them out move the joints in your body do not let energy to get get stuck and get

blocked that's what's happened that's what you do if you're in the middle of a

trigger so let's talk about after so so you've talked yourself down from this

trigger you've identified that it's a symptom and you're doing a really good

job talking to Amy the amygdala and you notice that you can gain control over

your breathing and it's it's you're like wow okay I recognize that now after the

trigger what you want to do is you want to make sure that you emotionally

understand and I wrote this down remind yourself that you're your body and your

brain are designed to protect yourself so anything that you perceive as a

threat can cause a trigger so but what we have to understand is that even if I

have this cognitive mindful experience like wow this was a trigger you know I

didn't feel good enough you know i lashed out at my sister because she made

me feel not good enough you know she didn't invite me to that party you know

she invited all my friends until it really didn't invite me I feel not good

enough this reminds me of the way we grew up I felt not good enough you know

where she used to lie to my friends you know and she tried to steal my friends

from me and she tried to steal my boyfriend's from me you know this is

very reminiscent okay it's happening again she's having a party I just found

out I got the party on Facebook and I'm feeling this rush of hormones right

knowing that ahead of time is gonna be very useful because what you want to

make sure you you don't want to do the thing that

you've always done because if you do the thing you always did you're always gonna

get the same result so you won't be able to make any quantum leaps right so

knowing ahead of time that your sister is the type of person that triggers you

this is a type of behavior that triggers you when you are triggered aha

there it is I can feel myself being triggered but this time I'm gonna talk

myself through the trigger and this time I'm gonna choose a different reaction

that's where you gain your control over now it's important to remember that even

though you have this conscious and mindful awareness of what is happening

in time and space on Facebook or in your family even though you have this

conscious awareness of it and even though you're able to talk yourself out

of it from a higher space right from the higher self the higher space what you

have to understand is that your body is still going to be reacting to the

chemicals that were outputted so it's going to take time it's going to take

time so I think that the more that we understand emotional triggers the more

we get out ahead of them the more we create an inventory list over what kinds

of things and people and circumstances you know trigger us the more we're aware

of how these experiences affect us and the more tools that we have to help us

in the moment when we are being triggered and the more we understand

that after we're triggered we can actually go back rewind the tape

understand what happened and then deliberately choose to make a different

choice than we would have prior but the goal is to come out of the need to live

in a state of defense right otherwise on a quantum level we just keep attracting

situations where we need to defend ourselves which is not good you know but

the goal is if we can get out ahead of our triggers and acknowledge them and

then choose to make a different choice in terms of our behavior then what

happens is we are now moving into a creative energy rather than a reactive

energy sort of like the new is new and it gives birth to but the oldest debt so

if you want newness in your life right and you really want to master the self I

do do encourage you to make a list of your emotional triggers and practice

standing what you're gonna do if you ever get triggered and then imagine what

you would do if you were triggered today and what new behaviors you can choose to

help you push yourself and break through what was a ceiling of very programmed

reactive states of being because what happens is when we are in a reactive

state we go right into behaviors that have been ingrained right and so most of

us have our own patterns of relating to stress and threats and what we want to

do is we want to break those cycles so that we can gain control over our

motions and we're no longer stuck because at the end of the day it's not

you dear one it's just your programming you know definitely those of us who want

to know why we do what we do and we want to live abundant lives you know we have

to understand that gaining control over that which hijacks our ability to

staying in control is definitely part of the equation so thanks so much for

watching and if you haven't done so already please consider subscribing to

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just click the bell now missed everybody until next time I'm bowing to the love

in a life that is absolutely in you