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then it's time to check yourself okay
it's time to check yourself before i do
no but seriously what's up y'all it's
time to cook and i'm back for another
video and as you can see from the title
today
we're going to talk about them
insecurities girl you didn't have them
for long enough
seriously i feel like every day i'm
either hearing someone tell me about
their insecurities
seeing the insecurities y'all be telling
all yourselves
with these insecurities it's every day
at what point
are we as a people gonna stand together
and say i am the best
on every block you know what i'm saying
no but all seriousness like y'all
deserve to feel that way so i want to
make sure i come in here today
we really get to the nitty-gritty okay
we really
figure it out okay and we're gonna get
you feeling better about it in this
video all right we got a lot to talk
about so let's just get into this video
but first if you've not scratched my
channel yet what are you doing we're
going to give you a couple seconds to do
that
you do it good night question video
welcome to our family also follow me on
my socials
where you can participate in polls all
that fun stuff or whatever
let's get into this so you're insecure
we've all been there i don't want any
person not named person in the comments
trying to act like you had never been
insecure
trying to say actually let's get this
misconception out the way i feel as
though people be thinking
that because like i'm confident now or
you see somebody confident that they
ain't never been insecure in a life they
never had no problems like that is not
the truth most of the time the people
that you do
see that are either overly confident
which i don't believe anymore so i feel
like
that arrogance that cockiness people
like that
are typically very very very insecure so
don't
be like discouraged by those type of
people because
typically they friend but a lot of
people who are just very confident in
themselves have had to overcome a lot of
those insecurities to the point that now
they've made peace with themselves and
they feel that confidence right the
first thing that i'm going to say is
getting to the root of why you're
insecure everyone kind of has different
reasons you know what i mean there might
be a specific trauma there might have
been a specific incident in your life
that started it so this is where a
journal journals are
amazing you need to sit back and start
writing like ask yourself questions
when did i first notice my insecurity
where was i
when i first noticed my insecurities
what events were going on in my life who
was present who wasn't present in my
life those are questions that you really
need to ask yourself
to get to the bottom of where you are
rooted in insecurity
i can even say from my own personal
experience i feel like i started facing
insecurity
once i went to a school that
their beauty standards were different
than what i was used to so i think
that's where i started feeling insecure
in the sense of like
i almost don't belong here it was a
sense of like you're an
outsider so you guys know that i have
been there and i've done that work to be
like this is where i
started feeling this and this is why i
started feeling this now we can unpack
that
okay it's very hard to stop behavior
that you don't know where it originated
from you need to know where the root of
that weed is
okay where's the head of this snake okay
now this can be really difficult to do
sometimes
on your own so there are several
resources for you to be doing this
whether that's self-help books whether
that's journaling alone or whether
that's getting professional help
now i'm aware that professional help is
not available or accessible to everybody
and that is where today's sponsor comes
in
today's sponsor is better help so
basically what better help is going to
do is it's going to assess your needs
and then it's going to match you to your
own professional license therapist and
this is not like a drawn out process you
can start communicating with your
therapist in as quick as 48 hours this
is not like a hotline or a crisis line
this is not a self-help situation
this is you getting professional
counseling securely online
they have a broad network of over 15 000
15 000 counselors which may not even be
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there is a large variety to find the
person that is best for you
also the service is not just us it is
available for clients worldwide
also a lot of times i know that weekly
time frames and stuff like that doesn't
work for everybody so you can log in and
message your counselor at any time
or if you do like that you can schedule
the weekly phone calls or the video
calls whatever you need to do so that
you don't have to sit in an
uncomfortable waiting room
you don't have to wait it out you can
get what you want when you need it
they're also committed to making sure
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counselors if needed also i know that
the pricing of therapy and counseling in
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but better help is more affordable than
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waiting months and months and months to
get into some therapist office they want
you to start living your happier life
today as well as i do get the help girl
get it now okay
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tati now continuing then it's time to
check yourself okay it's time to check
yourself before i do no but seriously
so this is where you have to really get
into yourself and really understand how
you are facilitating those negative
behaviors sometimes we get so
comfortable
and those negative feelings of
insecurity and sadness and this and that
that that's all we know so we kind of
keep feeding into that hole we are
behaving and doing things that kind of
put us further into that feeling that
make that feeling even more intense it's
kind of like when you're sad and you put
on sad music instead of trying to like
alter what you're feeling
as healthy as it is to allow yourself to
sit in your emotions
insecurity is a little bit more than an
emotion so i don't want us to be feeding
into those negative behaviors for
example let's say you're insecure about
your body you want that ig model body
right you wanna you wanna be an ig body
okay you probably
shouldn't be going and like lurking on
ig baddie pages you probably shouldn't
be following like a million ig baddies
like you
have to stop that negative behavior
because
you're really looking at them because
you're craving to reinforce the idea
that like
they look better than you you're craving
to reinforce the idea that
you would be better off if you look like
that you're craving to just reinforce
those insecurities so you want to go do
it you want to go look at it it's really
like a rush
it's like the rush low key of like
feeling sad again or kind of reinforcing
those those
thoughts that we have about ourselves
those negative thoughts about ourselves
because it's easier to reinforce
negative things that we've already
taught ourselves about ourselves than it
is to teach ourselves
a completely new way of thinking for
example if you've been riding a bike a
certain way that's been kind of
dangerous but that's all you've known
how to ride that bike for
it's easier to keep doing that and like
keep riding it like that
than it would be to teach yourself a
whole new way to ride a bike again but
in the long run it's more beneficial for
you to teach yourself the proper way to
ride that bike same way with you right
now it's easier if you keep feeding
into that negative bike ride that
negative habit but it would be so much
better for you
to reevaluate how you've been doing
things take a look at your day-to-day
behaviors and be like okay
out of all these things that i'm doing
in a day-to-day what is beneficial and
what is not what is helping me grow out
of negative behaviors and thought
patterns and what is not what is
facilitating that you need to be the
most important thing to you right now
and therefore
that means having self-discipline that
means halting things that
no longer serve you that means checking
yourself that means coming into a new
version of yourself that means all of
that okay now that also includes
comparison this is what i think you guys
hear all the time comparison is the
thief of joy there is nothing you gain
from comparing your life to the next
because at the end of the day that's not
your life i've said this before and i'll
say it again it's such a waste of time
being like oh look what they're doing
look what they have or look who they are
look what they look like
well you don't now what are you gonna do
about it and that's the tough love that
you need to hear because at the end of
the day you can get surgery you can
bring pictures of her to the doctor and
this isn't that but you will never
look just like her i think now we're
getting deep i think where
a lot of you might be feeling this is
because you see the lifestyle that comes
with it
not only are you seeing like oh what
this person looks like but you're seeing
like it seems like they get more
attention it seems like they're more
successful they have more money this
isn't that
these are facade okay these girls be sad
as heck
okay you're seeing what they have and
it's like and now it's past what they
look like it's like okay if i look like
this i would have this
life and that's just not true still
don't know what's going on behind closed
doors
she might be more miserable than you
let's even get past the point of like
looks like even maybe you're comparing
grades maybe you're comparing charisma
maybe you're comparing the fact that
this girl walks into a room and steals
it with personality
you're never gonna have it babe all of
us are different no personalities are
identical
things can be similar you can have
similar traits but nothing's going to be
identical you just need to figure out
what traits that you have in your
personality
that you're suppressing what traits are
really great in you that might be able
to take over a room
that you haven't really come into for
example are you really funny but your
scary people are gonna laugh at you
come into that allow people to laugh at
you it's that fear of rejection it's
that fear of people laughing at us
people not understanding us people not
agreeing like you have to let the fear
go i think
fear and security are like so hand in
hand like they're right they're right
there
you gotta let it go baby live one life
like they didn't like your joke and they
didn't like your joke
next like someone did you know what i
mean you did so just move on all you
need to do to
match that so to say is to step into
yourself don't try to be someone else
you always want to try to be the best
version of yourself because you're never
going to be someone else but you can be
a better version of yourself see if
someone else has allowed you
to feel these insecurities about
yourself because that is something i
will never accept
y'all know who the comedian kat williams
is he be spitting low-key though he had
like a comedy special or whatever and i
remember he specifically said like
oh like girls be like oh you messed up
my self-esteem and he is like
how can i mess up self-esteem it's
self-esteem like it's how you feel about
you
and as much as it's like a kiki hahaha
he's right at the end of the day
we be giving people so much agency over
how we feel about ourselves
you know yourself better than anybody on
earth so don't allow what people say or
people do to now
alter what you know to be true about
yourself when people are constantly
you know bullying you or harassing you
or saying the same things about you or
saying this is
not literally just mirror them like
literally just be like look how insecure
you are
you literally are just snitching on
yourself that's what i was saying to you
earlier in the beginning of the video
where i said a lot of y'all be telling
on yourselves for example the type of
people who are always like
oh the body but it's plastic though but
it's plastic though but she bought it
though
who cares it's her body now it's like
you're insecure that your body doesn't
look that way or that maybe men
are looking at her maybe your man no
tino shade
is looking at this girl so instead of
you having to cope with that
you instead try to find reasons to make
yourself feel better you're instead like
well it's plastic like you have to find
something negative so that you can feel
more whole
you don't want to be that person even
the saying of like oh you think you're
all that
no you think i'm all that i've said this
a million times you have to be able to
peek people's projections
a lot of people have deep-rooted
insecurities that they're constantly
going to project onto you you show an
inkling of confidence an inkling of
something that you want
you have to learn how to be a shield to
those things you need to learn how to
reflect like you truly need to be able
to stop internalizing and when i see
people internalize
that's where i see you being unsure of
yourself because if you were
you wouldn't take those things to heart
that wouldn't even make you second guess
how you feel about yourself for example
if you know you're a loyal person and
somebody says you're disloyal that would
just be like a
okay do you want to talk about you
feeling maybe disloyal that would be
like a
all right where are we getting that from
because you know that to not be true
about yourself but then us
i'll see a lot of people someone will
say you're just knowing then to be like
now you feel like listen i'm disloyal
who cares you don't think that you're
disloyal do you
want everything is always about being
sure of yourself and that takes a lot of
work like there might be things that you
you aren't sure about am i this loyal of
a person let's look at my behavior in
the past couple years let's look at my
behavior
with friends with family with
relationships how i've been a loyal
person and just assess that also there's
gonna be things that you always just
like
probably don't love you know what i'm
saying like you might not love this
certain birth might you might not love
whatever it is like but that's where you
have to reframe how you feel about those
things so that's where that reframing
comes of like
okay i don't like this birthmark because
i think
it's ugly that's where you need to
reframe you know what this birthmark
makes me who i am so i think it's a
beautiful part of myself because i'm a
beautiful person
bury it it's literally as simple as that
it just takes the work of like
telling yourself that and then working
on believing it those are affirmations
you need to tell yourself every day
those are things you might want to
journal about every day look at yourself
in your look at that birthmark and be
like i love this birthmark reframing
things will save your life like in
all seriousness or maybe you're insecure
because i don't know the guy you wanted
wanted you for a little bit and then
chose another girl maybe he didn't even
look your way and he went and chose the
other girl so you're like
what does she have that i don't know i'm
insecure now i don't i don't i don't
have the facilities it takes
to you know get the guy that i want
something like that he chose her for
whatever reason he chose her
that's it like it has nothing to do with
you and i think sometimes
that's like a grandiose like issue
between us where like
we will make ourselves more important
than we even really
are we make everything about ourselves
it's like oh he chose her because i
wasn't enough it wasn't about you babe
it wasn't even about you at all people
make decisions based off of their own
experiences in life based off of their
own voice their own ego their own trauma
and insecurities like people have their
own baggage
you have to stop making things about
yourself it is so tempting to do that
and i totally get it
but especially because in your head and
in your life you are the main character
right just like that person let's say
his name is ethan ethan
is his own main character he's his main
character it's about him okay also
through insecurities find something to
combat it that you do love about
yourself so maybe you don't love your
eyes but you love your nose maybe you
don't love your nose but you love your
lips you can keep going down the list
until you find something if you can't
find something
then you need to evaluate if you're
looking for the negative and everything
like if you can't find
one thing about yourself inside and out
that you like
you're framed right now to look for the
negative in every part of yourself maybe
you feel like you don't deserve to like
something about yourself maybe you've
been taught that maybe trauma gave you
that we don't know what it is there is
no way
there is not one thing inside and out
that you can say
i do kind of like that let that combat
whatever you don't like about yourself
even if there's 50 things you don't like
and there's that one thing you do like
you can be like i don't like any of this
but i do love this and highlight that as
much as you can
have something that you can always come
back to i hope this was really helpful
for you guys
i enjoyed talking to you guys about it
let's have a nice discussion in the
comments about it all again shout out to
better help make sure you guys go check
that out and get the help that you
deserve
make sure you like comment share and
subscribe to your post notifications on
you got a lot to do you better get to it
and i will see you guys in my next one
you
