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Have you ever met someone
who was so passive-aggressive
that you couldn't call them out?
They seemingly said nothing wrong,
but the tone they used implied something else.
- [Woman] You're doing great for someone
with your kind of experience.
- [Presenter] Wait. What?
What's that supposed to mean?
Truth is passive-aggressive people
just have a sneaky way of using aggression,
so they aren't flat out caught with ill intentions.
Instead of handling their negative feelings,
they express them subtly through passive-aggressive actions.
The term passive-aggressive was first used clinically
in World War II.
Soldiers who refuse to comply with officers' orders
were described as passive-aggressive.
Passive-aggressive behavior is characterized
by indirect resistance to the demand of others
and avoidance of direct confrontation, often by pouting,
procrastinating, or misplacing important materials.
So why do people use this type of behavior?
Well, here are a few of the reasons,
and they may just surprise you.
Number one,
they have passive-aggressive personality disorder.
Some people may even
have passive-aggressive personality disorder.
While PAPD is not a medical diagnosis,
the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual
of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition" explained
that it was a negativistic personality disorder
and included the term PAPD as a proposed diagnosis.
It is now viewed as a personality trait,
personality syndrome,
or dynamic behavioral pattern that people can exhibit.
According to the American Psychology Association,
passive-aggressive personality disorder
is a personality disorder of longstanding
in which ambivalence towards the self
and others is expressed by such means as procrastination,
toddling, stubbornness, intentional inefficiency,
forgetting appointments, or misplacing important materials.
These maneuvers are interpreted as passive expressions
of underlying negativism.
The pattern persists even when more adaptive behavior
is clearly possible.
It frequently interferes with occupational,
domestic, and academic success.
Those who often experience PAPD
may have underlying mental health conditions as well.
Number two, it's easier than being assertive.
Do you hate confrontation?
Do you find it hard to assert yourself?
Some individuals simply haven't had enough experiences
where they've needed to be assertive.
Many haven't developed the social skills necessary
to assert themselves and manage their emotions.
Therefore, passive-aggressive behavior is an easy go-to
when you lack the skills needed for emotional management.
Number three, they desire revenge.
You've all seen your favorite revenge flick,
either the main protagonist is seeking sweet revenge
by targeting the villain for his wrongdoing unto them,
or maybe your favorite antagonist seeks revenge as well.
For many, revenge is the way to go,
but it's not the healthiest.
It's hard to provide evidence
for passive-aggressive behavior.
Someone who exhibits this behavior often
has a perfect excuse.
So, if one is seeking revenge,
they may go unnoticed by others
due to the vagueness of comments or actions.
The true aggressive intention remains hidden
to everyone besides the aggressor.
Number four, anger is not viewed as socially normal.
Have you been taught that you shouldn't express your anger?
Many children are told that anger is something
that we should stop feeling.
Childhood is a critical time in emotional development.
Being repeatedly told to suppress your emotions
can have serious consequences in development.
Anger is often viewed
as the unattractive emotion we all want to hide away,
but it's important to teach children how to handle
and express their feelings.
When one is not taught how to express negative emotions
in a healthy the way,
they could look to passive-aggressive behavior
as a means to communicate it.
Number five, hostility with a smile
is less often called out.
So, you're now an adult
who has been constantly told anger should not be expressed.
Socially, it's often unacceptable
to openly talk about anger, so you find another means.
What is socially acceptable?
Hidden aggression said with a smile.
As long as you're smiling,
you simply couldn't mean it that way.
After all, the anger, won't just go away
because you ignore it.
It will manifest itself in that evil grin you're wearing.
Number six, they developed the behavior in childhood.
Many researchers believe
that those who often use passive-aggressive behavior learned
the behavior in childhood.
Child abuse, cruel punishments,
and neglect could cause a child
to develop passive-aggressive behavior.
Researchers also theorize
that parenting styles could be a major influence.
A disruption in a child's authority figures,
such as parents, teachers,
or caretakers could have an effect
on the development of this behavior.
Learning how to assert oneself in childhood, and even now,
can help prevent this behavior.
It's important to note, too,
that some behaviors are often mistaken
as passive-aggressive behavior.
Certain health conditions have symptoms similar
to the behaviors.
Some associated with passive-aggressiveness
include anxiety disorders, ADHD, bipolar disorder,
and depression, to name a few.
One can also exhibit passive-aggressive behavior
while suffering from a mental illness.
This behavior has been known
to compromise successful treatment
of other mental disorders.
So it's important to recognize the behavior
and work on it with a mental health professional as well.
If you recognize
that you often exhibit passive-aggressive behavior,
you're already on the right step
to learning how to manage it.
Some tips to implement?
If you feel a negative emotion come over you,
give yourself a moment to think before you act.
Attempt to calm yourself down with a few deep breaths.
Ground yourself in reality
and identify why you feel this way.
Moving forward,
try to be aware of your behavior and opt in
to express your emotions in an honest and healthy way.
So, how often are you passive-aggressive?
Do you your own reasons
as to why you sometimes use this behavior?
Let us know in the comments down below.
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