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hello brains you know the problem with
perfectionism in one more time you know
the problem with perfectionism is that
you know the problem with perfectionism
is that the problem with perfectionism
is that you know the problem with
perfectionism no today's episode is
about perfectionism alright yeah one
more time those of us with ADHD tend to
be perfectionists that doesn't mean
we're perfect we know we're not but we
tend to set unrealistically high
standards for ourselves and then feel
like we failed if we fall short that
failure stinks but our perfectionism
drives us to work harder than anyone
else to exceed everyone's expectations
so in a way we're kind of proud of it
I'm no exception yes my perfectionism
has made me super anxious at times and
sure I can't really enjoy my own show
because I keep seeing all the things I
could have done better but now that the
show is starting to be successful it's
easy to think it was worth it thirty
thousand subscribers all that
perfectionism must have paid off
thanks for factionism but here's what I
learned this week a it's not actually
our perfectionism that makes us do well
it's the effort that that perfectionism
drives us to put in be perfectionism
isn't the only thing that can drive our
effort although it likes to insist that
it is and see perfectionism is actually
a terrible driver it turns us around
after we hit the first pothole
it makes us go down the same street a
bunch of times until we get it right
sometimes it refuses to get going at all
because the conditions aren't ideal and
when it's someone else's turn to drive
it turns into a really annoying backseat
driver
it makes the whole trip stressful and if
and when it finally gets us to where we
want to go we wasted so much time
getting there that we never made it to
all the other places we also need it to
go so basically perfectionism isn't
really doing us any favors to be clear I
recommend putting in the effort it takes
to be great I recommend setting and
reaching goals I even recommend having
high standards for yourself and your
work I don't recommend letting
perfectionism drive chances are your
perfectionism is super unhappy I just
said that my perfectionism is kicking
and screaming right now because it's
afraid it's afraid if it doesn't get to
drive anymore I won't be safe because
however perfectionism might get in our
way it is really good at avoiding one
thing on the road of life rejection if
we never make mistakes no one including
us can ever say we're doing it wrong if
we never put ourselves out there no one
will see our flaws and find out we are
not good enough
that's not even actually true but
there's a lot of fear behind
perfectionism and that fear isn't always
realistic or easily overcome that's okay
if you like me tend to let perfectionism
drive here are a few things that might
help you wrestle the wheel away from it
give your perfectionism directions you
can do this by changing the marker for
success I didn't even know I was using
this technique but when I started the
show my marker for success was to put
out a video once a week which was not
enough time to make it perfect Oh God
good lighting but it moved me toward
having a show I'm proud of more
efficiently than perfecting one episode
possibly could have figure out what else
drives you and let it for instance
helping you guys is worth the effort of
researching writing shooting editing
producing and promoting this show every
week even if I can't do any of those
things as perfectly as I'd like to work
with a pro to take back the wheel if
perfectionism is something you've been
battling your whole life
it might be worth recruiting
reinforcements that can be a coach to
help you set and adjust your goals or a
therapist to help you work through your
fears proceed with caution treat
perfectionism like any other fear and
overcome it a little at a time maybe I'm
not ready to give up all my late nights
obsessing over the show just yet because
the first week I do that my
perfectionism will see one bad comment
and shout see I have to drive but my
goal is to be done by 11 p.m. most
nights and get enough sleep to be able
to drive to work safely and I don't know
be awake enough to celebrate
maybe my perfectionism won't let me miss
a week when I'm behind but when I am I
can admit that I'm struggling and maybe
ask for help and finally if
perfectionism tries to take back the
wheel remind yourself why it's not
allowed to dry
studies show perfectionism can lead to
anxiety depression eating disorders and
worse besides as researcher brené Brown
discovered real acceptance doesn't come
from being above criticism it comes from
putting yourself out there and realizing
even with your flaws you are enough you
have something to contribute and it
might take time but if you wait to be
perfect until you even begin you're
going to deprive the world of a lot
that's it for this week I've included
some amazing links about perfectionism
as well as brené Brown stalk in the
description below if you liked this
episode subscribe and if you love this
episode and want to help me make more
consider donating to my patreon page
like these brains did thank you to all
my patreon supporters for making this
show possible thanks to them we're gonna
be able to start making bonus videos
next month let me know what drives your
effort comment below or hit me up on
Facebook or Twitter and I will see you
next week bye veins question time
weren't you gonna keep your videos under
5 minutes long didn't you say your
videos come out on Tuesdays I'm trying
but I'm not gonna be perfect
