3 Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills

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do you know the one key to becoming a

great conversationalist the key is to

pause before replying a short pause of

three to five seconds after a person

stops talking is a very classy thing to

do in a conversation when you pause you

accomplish three goals simultaneously

first you avoid running the risk of

interrupting if the other person is just

catching his or her breath before

continuing the second benefit is that

you show the other person that you are

giving careful consideration to his or

her words by not jumping in with your

own comments at the earliest opportunity

the third benefit of pausing in

conversation is that you will actually

hear the other person better his or her

words will soak into a deeper level of

your mind and you will understand what

he or she is really saying with greater

clarity by pausing you'll mark yourself

as a brilliant conversationalist another

way to become a great conversationalist

is to question for clarification never

assume that you understand what the

other person is saying or trying to say

instead if you have any doubt at all ask

how do you mean or how do you mean


and then just pause and wait this is the

most powerful question I've ever learned

for guiding and controlling a

conversation it's almost impossible not

to answer this question when you ask how

do you mean the other person cannot stop

himself or herself from answering more

extensively you can then follow up with

other open-ended questions and keep the

conversation rolling along the third way

to become a great conversationalist is

for you to paraphrase the speaker's

words in your own words so after you

have nodded and smiled you can then say

well let me see if I've got this writer

let me see if I understand you exactly

what you're saying is this and then you

repeat it back in your own words by

paraphrasing the speaker's words you

demonstrate in no uncertain terms that

you are genuinely paying attention and

making every effort to understand his or

her thoughts or feelings and the

wonderful thing is when you practice

effective listening other people will

begin to find you fascinating they will

want to be around you they will feel

relaxed and happy in your presence

because when you listen to other people

you make them feel important the reason

why listening is such a powerful tool in

developing the art and skill of

conversation is because listening builds

trust the more you listen to another

person the more he or she trusts you and

believes in you listening also builds

self-esteem when you listen attentively

to another person his or her self-esteem

will naturally increase he or she will

feel better about themselves he or she

will be feel more valuable and more

respected finally listening builds

self-esteem in the listener because your

mind can process words at 500 to 600

words per minute and we can only talk at

about 150 words for a minute it takes

real effort to keep your attention

focused on another person's words if you

do not practice self-discipline in

conversation your mind will wander in a

hundred different directions the more

you work at paying close attention to

what the other person is saying the more

self-disciplined you will become in

other words by learning to listen well

you actually develop your own character

and your own personality