How to Live a Happy Married Life | Sadhguru

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but you must be punished

either by you or somebody he must be

punished what kind of punishment do you

normally give to people already enough

fun punishment has been given isn't it

already it's been given the ugliness the

nastiness the silent treatment

everything has happened so what more

punishment you want to give your thing

is there is no remorse on the other side

there's no emotion that the sign because

people are doing what they want to do

not what you want them to do always and

that may not be in your interest but

they're doing what they want to do is it

right wrong I am NOT going into the

morality of it I want you to understand

the mechanics of the situation somebody

is doing what they want to do now you

think they must be punished probably

they have not broken any law otherwise

there would be anyway punished they're

breaking an understanding between two

people probably you misunderstood the

understanding you believed that these

understandings are absolute they are not

nowhere in the history of humanity or

today or in any time in future will

human relationships be absolute though

every every person who gets little

romantic believes that this is going to

be an absolute relationship there is no

such thing about it a relationship is a

variable always

you have to conduct it on a daily basis

one day if you don't conduct it properly

it may go somewhere yes sir no no please

look at it as it is you have to conduct

it right so no I am doing my best

obviously somebody feels your best is

not good enough for them now I want you

to come to terms with this this is not

about I'm not saying what they're doing

is right or wrong that's not for me to

say all I'm saying is this is how human

beings are functioning for ages and

still all I am saying first of all you

need to understand relationships will

never ever be absolute they will be

variables that you it's juggling that

you have to do if you are juggling with

fireballs one sometimes it'll spill out

takes a lot of skill and attention yes

or no you married many of you doesn't it

take a lot of skill and attention if you

don't pay any attention you don't know

what the hell is happening it takes a

lot of attention isn't it someone just

called me from some country in Europe

and Sadhguru I'm just doing housework

come and save me take me away to your

ashram I'm just doing housework she's

washing dishes and stuff well very

affluent but has four children it's all

the time there is something to do

endlessly and today the maid didn't did

not turn up so you have to wash the

dishes four children are there you've

got to wash the dishes you got to wash


so I'm saying you need to understand

this a relationship is a variable

reality it is not an absolute reality if

you want to have an absolute

relationship you must hold relationships

with the dead

that is the reason why a lot of people

choose God because it's an absolute you

can handle it whichever way you want if

you didn't think of him for 10 days and

on the 11th day if you think of him is

still there you do that your husband or

wife or somebody then something else

will happen you went away got busy

forgot about God for three years again

you can think still there so if you want

to have an absolute relationship you

must you should not choose human beings

human relationships are variables needs

lot of attention so that's why some

people decide in their life they don't

have the time and the energy to manage

such things so they take another path

where there is no such obligation the

closer eyes they're by themselves they

don't care always around them what's

around them so you can't do that I think

it's best in trying to punish somebody

you will only end up punishing yourself

they're doing what they want to do it's

best that you see what is it that you

really want with your life you don't

have to react to them and do something

stupid like them you just have to sit

down and look at this when your

illusions are broken you disillusioned

right now it's a very good thing if your

religion illusions are broken that means

life is bringing you closer to reality

isn't it

so this is an opportunity for you to sit

down and see what is the nature of my

life why is it see this piece of life is

a complete piece of life isn't it so is

it half a life are you a half a life or

a full life full life why is it that it

feels so incomplete that it needs

another person to fill this life why is

it it's time to look at it isn't it if

this is a full life this is complete by

itself but right now you made it in such

a way that this cannot exist with that

one and that one without that one and

that one and that one so somewhere it's

an incomplete life or at least it is not

realized the fullness of its nature

isn't it this is a complete piece of

life packed with creator and creation

together very great combination if you

this is a time when life knocks at your

door like this it's time you look deeper

rather than reacting and trying to fix

somebody else punishing somebody else is

not going to transform your life not

going to make your life beautiful in any

way some sick satisfaction you'll have

for two days after that you will feel

guilty about that also yes initially

when this emotion is hot it gives you

satisfaction after some time and you

look back you'll feel ashamed of


so don't go that way this is an


somebody is opening up a spiritual

dimension for you really somebody is

making you realize how fragile all these

things are they can cheat you they can

run away they can divorce you or they

can fall dead isn't it if they fall dead

you wouldn't think that he cheated me

what do you think no but whichever way

you denied isn't it the important thing

is you denied something how he did it

is not the problem he denied you

something either by death or divorce a

cheating or whatever you call it

but essentially you got denied you can

be denied only because you are in a

certain illusory state of believing that

this is half a life and it needs another

half from somewhere no this is a

complete life if you're blossom as a

complete life you will see relationships

will be of a completely different nature

it will be more of coming together and

sharing not of extracting it has to

transform if it has to transform you

have to transform this is a great

opportunity somebody has given you stop

using this word somebody cheated me just

say somebody is pushing you towards

ultimate reality from an illusory state

we must thank that person

these are keeping you is of keeping you

in an illusion instead of keeping you in

your life for a whole lifetime so soon

they're making you realize this

otherwise you will know this at the time

of your death yes you'll know at the

time of you that when you're dying I'm

scared why don't you come with me you

said no so that last moment instead of

knowing it's better to know now