[Music]
hey everyone and welcome to top thing
today we're going to learn about 12
rules to live a happy life now let's
begin number 1 pursue the immaterial now
I won't try to convince you that
material possessions are a waste of time
or that they're worthless and
insignificant sometimes material goods
are the most valuable things that we
know they can embody emotions memories
and even people they can remind you of a
time in your life that you'd nearly
forgotten there's nothing wrong with
physical reminders of how you grew into
the person that you are but you can't
expect titles and objects to transform
you into the person you aspire to be
people who dream of success often
fantasize about their material life the
house they live in the car they drive
these luxuries can bring you many things
pleasure thrill self-importance but
they're all temporary as soon as they're
over and the dust is settled you'll feel
empty again it won't be long until
you're dreaming of a new toy to fill
that same hole in your life instead
pursue the kind of happiness that lasts
invest in immaterial treasures like
knowledge passion and companionship real
happiness stems from the breath of your
life not how much it costs number two
welcome wonder as the world becomes more
and more interconnected wonder is a
feeling that you rarely experience why
drive to the Grand Canyon when you can
look at pictures online for a lot of
people especially teenagers and young
adults overexposure has sucked that
childlike sense of excitement out of so
many amazing things think back to the
last time you flew on a plane did you
ever look out the window did you admire
the clouds or smile at how small that
your city looks from thousands of feet
in the air yeah most people don't
they're too wrapped up in their own
lives and habits to notice the little
things
to live your happiest life let yourself
feel awestruck create opportunities to
be speechless and maybe even a little
scared no matter where you are you're
constantly surrounded by the
extraordinary so take a few minutes each
day to slow down and enjoy the view
number three dispel grudges in life
conflict is inevitable one way or
another you'll run into people who
frustrate you who hurt you and deprive
you of things that you feel you deserve
if you let them those conflicts can
haunt you for years looming over
everything that you do the longer you
hang on to them the more they infect the
healthier happier parts of your life one
malicious person for example can damage
the trust you have in other friends and
family members but there's a big
difference between learning from
conflict and holding a grudge instead of
growing and progressing grudges keep you
from ever moving forward no matter what
conflicts you've experienced you should
practice forgiveness retain each lesson
but let go of that lingering negativity
you'll live a much happier life without
it
number four expose weakness you are your
biggest critic most of us could list a
dozen things we wish we could change
about ourselves but we don't want
anybody else to know it in fact many of
us surround ourselves with people who
only really know our strengths not only
is this difficult to maintain it's also
extremely lonely you can find happiness
by exposing your flaws unearthing the
weaknesses that every person on the
planet has in spades when you find
someone you can trust don't hesitate to
open up and encourage them to do the
same
some people think vole 'nor ability
means telling a sob story to get
attention but it's really about
connecting with someone on a deeper
level feeling like there's someone in
the world who accepts who you are
without your social masks as you make
more and more connections you'll grow to
accept yourself to flaws and all
number five manage limits the vast
majority of people don't set aside
enough time for self-care to live a
happier life you have to know your
limits
you can't pursue your goals and make
memories all day every day the truth is
you only have so much energy to give so
when you find yourself running on empty
make time to relax and rejuvenate
try not to overexert yourself if you
don't have to when it comes to physical
and mental health you need to prioritize
yourself make time to diminish stress
check your habits and enjoy your
personal passions without self-care
you'll find yourself feeling drained and
uninterested even if you're doing all
kinds of exciting things you won't have
the energy to invest like you normally
do it's like sabotaging your own
experiences a lack of self-care also
damages your relationships to keep your
friendships strong you need space both
you and your friend should take time
apart
otherwise you'll start to get sick of
each other and the relationship will
suffer in the long run so if you're
feeling exhausted don't pressure
yourself to power through pay attention
to your limits and set aside plenty of
time to recharge your batteries number
six restful empathy loneliness can feel
like an endless maze
the moment you start making progress you
run into a wall and have to start all
over again but a recent study found that
bad sleeping habits make you even
lonelier why because your brain closes
itself off when it's tired it rejects it
puts up emotional walls and it struggles
with empathy so if you want to feel
happier make sure you're getting enough
sleep it's not a foolproof cure but it
will keep your loneliness at bay
number seven surrender control some of
the best things in life happen out of
the blue a complete stranger might
become one of your closest friends you
might accidentally stumble upon an ad
for your dream job the element of
surprise will always play an important
role in your life the most random
experiences can bring more excitement
novelty and happiness than anything you
could ever plan so stop trying to
control every teeny tiny thing that
happens to you some certainty and
stability is nice but too much can trap
you inside a bubble it'll keep you from
stepping outside your comfort zone
instead you should expand your horizons
by leaving room for the unexpected
number eight embrace mistakes being
rights it's overrated it sounds good and
it can make you feel good but embracing
your mistakes is much more important
than being right instead of trying to
one-up everyone get used to being wrong
yeah you should willingly admit when you
don't know something uncertainty isn't
anything to be scared of this change
will make you a more enjoyable person to
talk to while leaving you feeling open
and self assured number 9 practice
patience when you're excited about
achieving a goal or revamping your
self-image the last thing you want to do
is wait it's frustrating to find out
that your dreams are months or even
years away but the best ones usually are
so how do you avoid feeling restless and
unsatisfied it's crucial that you
practice patience on a daily basis that
means learning how to bide your time
without letting your motivation slip the
truth is that a long wait is often
necessary to solidify your ideals you
need to give yourself time to think you
should use that time to consider
different perspectives and how each
decision could impact your lifestyle
patient reflection also weeds out the
good from the bad it distinguishes an
impulsive short lived feeling from your
long-term ambitions so before you make
any big changes in your life slow
yourself down don't rush to the end just
because you're excited you'll make it
there eventually
however you need to lay down the proper
foundation first you need to learn
and prepare that way when you do find
happiness you'll be ready for it
number 10 environmental happiness
surround yourself with friends that
introduce positivity into your life too
many people cling to toxic relationships
and then they wonder why they're
constantly feeling down I can't
overstate how big of an impact your
loved ones have on your mood and mental
state if you're spending time with the
wrong people you have to make a change
it's critical that your friends support
and inspire you and you should do the
same for them happiness is something you
have to find internally but a poor
support system can and will hold you
back number eleven habitual addition if
you want to rid yourself of a bad habit
how should you get started let's say you
spend too much time on social media you
notice that it's making you feel sad and
unmotivated to change your behavior you
might hone in on the exact amount of
time that you waste each day holding
that number in your head your goal might
be to subtract as much social media from
your life as you can but when you cut
something out you don't have anything to
fill the hole it leaves behind it's much
easier to fall back into old habits when
you aren't sure how else to spend your
time to live a happier life you should
add good habits instead of subtracting
bad ones for example if you create more
time for reading you won't have as much
time to spend browsing social media that
way you focus on doing things that make
you happy instead of avoiding things
that don't number 12
lose expectations while anyone can give
back very few people can give without
expecting some sort of reward this
expectation is ingrained within your
biology throughout the evolution of
humanity we've grown through trade and
exchange we'll dedicate time money and
services but only if we receive
something of equal value in other words
you've been conditioned to always expect
something in return
but this expectation ignores the most
significant part of giving back it's not
about what you get it's about making
someone else's life a tiny bit better
easier or happier those altruistic
feelings will stick with you for the
rest of your days so to live a happier
life make a habit of giving without
those expectations hey thank you for
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