The Truth About Being A Single Woman

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hi I'm Stephanie hi my name is essence

hi my name is Julie and I am single and

I am single and I'm single AF

oh I definitely can feel lonely but I

don't know necessarily if that's because

I'm single I do feel lonely sometimes I

don't feel any lonelier than I think any

human would feel whether they're in a

relationship or not societally like

there is a lot of pressure sometimes to

be either dating or in a relationship or

like having a bunch of hookup buddies

but I feel like sometimes not having a

partner doesn't mean that you're lonely

it just means that you're on your own

you're independent I definitely don't

think being single is like this lonely

dreadful experience I'm a stand-up and

I'm an actor and I feel like a lot of my

days are just spent on my own

independently you know I think it

depends on the day

working hobbies are the I guess obvious

answers but to me I think it's more

being really kind of like secure within

yourselves I think it's possible to feel

really like lonely when you are in a

relationship if you're in a relationship

with the wrong person having a lot of

friends around me making sure that I

have activities that I'm passionate

about and not really worrying too much

about finding the one being in a

relationship I genuinely enjoy like

being by myself dating when I want today

like casually so I think I'm very

optimistic about my life in general and

I feel like I'm very driven I feel like

I have a lot of trust in this last year

that like my career will go where it

needs to go and that my relationships

one folder kind of how they are supposed

to being single for me is definitely

better at this stage in my life because

I'm not really ready to settle down I

spent a lot of my time kind of focusing

on my career focusing on being

independent and I kind of thought that

wanting a relationship meant that I was

weak and I've realized recently that

it's not a bad thing to want a

relationship it's not doesn't make you

any less of a woman and doesn't make you

this kind of damsel in distress

stereotype it's funny I think the lat in

the last year it was very important that

I was single it was really important for

me to be independent in this last year

and find my own voice and really just

establish a routine for myself I'm just

not ready for that because there comes

like a lot of structure with that there

comes a lot of like compromise and

sacrifice and I'm just at a point in my

life where I'm not really ready for that

it's a definitely a struggle to find

someone compatible and to find someone

who can really be there for you I

actually feel like I'm transitioning now

into a place where everything is a

little more stable a little more figured

out and I actually feel like now is the

time that someone could fit in so I'm


I think we're actually in a kind of

amazing time right now where people are

a lot more vocal about like or not you

know having a relationship status be the

only thing you're aiming for in your

life for me it's been really helpful on

social media to see kind of more

positive more open-minded look at social

media is terrible for me when it comes

to loneliness it's it's really difficult

to try and not focus on what other

people's perfect moments are because

they're not putting all their bad

moments on social media I don't

necessarily know that it's affected how

I feel about singleness positively or

negatively I think I just kind of look

at those things that's just

entertainment growing up on like Disney

movies and rom-com and all those things

make you think that like that is the

be-all end-all to your life and just in

terms of like connecting on a human

level social media kind of makes it hard

because you're at a distance from

everything and interacting with someone

one-on-one is so much different from

interacting online I work in media so I

also know that like I don't want to say

very few things are real but things are

like there's a story being told so

they're very contrived on TV you often

only see the highlights and I know that

relationships take a lot of work so I

think I look at them only for

entertainment I think we're kind of in a

new era when it comes to that kind of

thing which I'm all about


it's more portrayed in the media like

women like the female driven anxiety

that is being singled a feel like I feel

like men probably are concerned about it

it's just not really portrayed I think

that women are very conditioned like

even very young to think that they have

to be with someone that they have to get

married especially by a certain age that

they're not complete and they're not

whole and I definitely think it plays a

part into how they start to interpret

their own lives and how they interpret

being single because we're expected to

find someone young and make sure that

we're kind of hitting all these

milestones even though that's not

necessarily what we need to do to feel

fulfilled and I think for a lot of women

it can definitely impact them negatively

because they start to feel like

incomplete or like they haven't achieved

a certain thing if they're not in a

relationship by a certain age being

single like can be rough af at times

like let's be honest find other ways to

be fulfilled don't always focus on a

partner because you don't need anyone

another person doesn't make you not

lonely it's just like a band-aid I don't

ever want to feel like I need a man to

feel secure or to feel worthy trusting

that like it will work out when it's

supposed to

someone should compliment you but not

complete you work on that and then maybe

explore relationships you have people

that love you you have friends you have

family make sure that you're surrounding

yourself with positivity introspection

and like self-care moments are important

single life is lit so go out there date

casually get you some drinks and some

dinners and live it up having a partner

doesn't mean that you're not lonely and

being lonely doesn't mean that you need

a partner so just focus on yourself and

be who you are we got this