How to live
A Diplomatic Life
Mastering the art of everyday diplomacy | Alisher Faizullaev | TEDxMustaqillikSquare
Sharing buttons:
[Music]
can I please ask you a question would
you please raise your hand if you feel
yourself or consider yourself as a
diplomat in your ordinary in your
everyday life would you please raise
your hand oh great so many diplomats
wonderful one more question
would you please raise your hand if you
know someone some individuals who could
be recognized as diplomat in daily life
anybody wonderful even more that's great
so let's discuss everyday diplomacy I
spent myself part of my life in
international diplomacy some years ago I
served as ambassador of my country to
several other countries and a number of
international organizations so I have a
first-hand experience in international
diplomacy but today I would like to
discuss not international diplomacy but
everyday diplomacy diplomacy which takes
place in our everyday ordinary life of
course when we say diplomacy we mean
first of all international diplomacy
state can establish diplomatic relations
and use diplomacy for preventing or
resolving conflicts for defending and
promoting the interest but we could also
apply the concept of diplomacy to our
everyday life and of course there are
many differences between international
diplomacy
and everyday diplomacy international
diplomacy is about diplomacy between
nations and everyday diplomacy is about
diplomacy among individuals and small
groups such as families and peer groups
but at the same time there are a lot of
commonalities between international
diplomacy
and everyday diplomacy I knew many very
outstanding diplomats dignitaries
politicians who were not just very good
in international diplomacy but very
effective in everyday diplomacy in
everyday communication they were very
polite very nice and that quality very
much helped in performing international
diplomacy let me tell you a little story
how I met President Clinton in fact I
met him twice first time I was
introduced to him during a big
diplomatic reception when I was
introduced you see this picture to him
he offered me a very warm greeting he
said well how are you mr. Faisal life
ambassador Faiza life how's things in
Uzbekistan to be honest I was a little
surprised I didn't expect such a great
warm greeting and we spent a few seconds
greeting each other talking to each
other and after some time a friend of
mine said well do you know him did you
know him I said no I didn't know and in
few years I met him once again it was
another big diplomatic gathering I was
standing in a corridor and suddenly
President Clinton appeared somewhere
next to me
and he made a couple of steps and
greeted me with handshake I was very
much surprised and of course very much
pleased and I also made a few steps and
we greeted each other with handshake and
I thought well that's a kind of I don't
believe that he and he remembers me
there were so many diplomas so many
ambassador's head of states and many
other very very prominent people it's
just impossible to remember someone
after few years and some time ago I told
this story to a person who worked for
President Clinton several years and he
said to me well you know he has a
incredible memory he remembers everybody
who meet even few years ago I don't know
to be honest is that true or not but
such a quality it's a great quality to
be both diplomat at everyday level and
at international level to be a good
everyday diplomat and good international
diplomat so we live in a social world
and social world is a world of
difference where so many differences
around different people different groups
and we may have many many differences in
our interests our positions our
attitudes our beliefs our behavior and
many many differences and it is very
important to cope with these differences
to live with peace peacefully with these
differences and we may have a lot of
discussions debates disagreements
confrontation and conflict that's a part
of our life of social life but it is
again so important to
with all the differences different
opinions different colors different
religions different people and to cope
with this differences we need to have
three very important things number one a
mindset it's a spirit of everyday
diplomacy number two it's a strategy a
way of interacting with others and
certain skills which help us to be a
diplomat to implement the strategy in
our everyday life let's start from
mindset this mind that is peace of mind
our inner peace it's a spirit of peace
peacefulness that's very important that
our inner foundation of every day
diplomacy that gives us some stability
it's very important and our peace of
mind is based on our ability to be
tolerant to have patience and to
recognize differences there are many
differences that's alright to have so
many differences not just to recognize
but appreciate these differences when we
have these tolerance patience and
recognition of differences that provides
us some basis to be to have peace of
mind every day strategy
this strategy is a strategy of balance
we may have a lot of our own interests
of course and values and rights that's
great to have all this and defend them
but it's also important to recognize and
to see that others also have interests
values and rights it's very important to
have some balance between these worries
act of extreme and balance but diplomacy
is constructing a balance a balanced
relation
our inner balance which provides us some
integrity and balance with others and
there is a very nice symbol of balance
which is symbol of Taiji which is
ancient Chinese Tao is symbol of inian
yang in comprises some young and young
comprises I mean these are opposites but
they also complement each other they
need each other they balance each other
that's very important for them to exist
and to fulfill and the strategy of
balance the balance strategy has three
pillars one is rooting which is rooting
in some values in some principles in
peacefulness of our mind in love we need
to have some rooting to be stable to
have balanced relationship with others
resilience which is so important in our
turbulent world when we have so many
challenges so many changes and moderate
Ness which is very very important to
have balanced relationship with others
and with ourselves we need some skills
to implement this strategy in our life
there are two very important set of
skills number one is social interaction
skills interaction with others
number two self-regulation skills this
is interaction skills let's start from
social interaction skills there are few
very important things which helps us to
have these social interaction skills
first understanding it's just impossible
to deal to cope with others
diplomatically to be a diplomat and and
stand and cook with others without
understanding tactfulness which is very
important characteristic of diplomacy is
very important and negotiation is very
important all these things are very
important and the standing is based in
on our mindfulness our ability to see to
feel to be hearing now to pay attention
to details we need to be receptive to
differences not to reject but the rotary
sector to be receptive and listening
listening is active both emotional and
cognitive process tactfulness is one of
very key characteristics of being
diplomat diplomacy it's based on our
sensitivity to sense even some Tiny's
things body language meaning some
details civility which shows us as a
part of civil civilization we need to be
part of civilization and respect which
preserve which preserves the dignity of
others when we respect others we may
expect some respect from others this is
also very important and negotiation of
course negotiation is very very crucial
it's a central for any diplomacy both
international diplomacy and everyday
diplomacy everyday diplomat is a man of
negotiation he or she negotiates with
neighbors with relatives with bosses
with subordinates with everyone
negotiation is not just a skill it's a
value it's a social good because it
provides us opportunity to agree to get
some agreement to have some balanced
relationship it's alright to have
discussions I may have some my own
opinion you may have your own opinion
let's discuss that's a way of
negotiation it's important to find
something common common ground
that's a way of negotiation and coming
to an agreement which is a way of
negotiation and a way of diplomacy as
far as our self-regulation skill the
central here is our ability to be calm
that's very important even in discussion
in these disagreements in tough
situation with difficult people but it's
not just our idea we need to have some
skills to regulate ourselves for example
to relax our muscles to breathe
naturally to be non-resistance when we
resist to some differences we increase
our tension we become more unbalanced
and culture is very important because in
every culture has its own codes cultural
codes some traditions some norms for
example in our culture in Uzbekistan we
have so-called or dope more Mala Mala
cut here we expect it's expected that we
shall respect the elderly people if you
are in public transit transportation
it's expected that you offer your seat
to the elderly people and something
which is very diplomatic in one culture
could be not so diplomatic in other
culture so it's important to feel to use
it to understand cultural codes and
inner strength is very important because
diplomacy practicing diplomacy is not a
sign of weakness it is a sign of
strength you need to in the strength
which provides you honesty which ability
to be honest when you lie you lose your
your credibility so you need to practice
truthfulness with in the strength and we
stacked there are so many opportunities
to practice every day diplomacy in
restaurant in social gathering in nature
in class among friends
these are wonderful opportunities to
develop ourselves to develop our peace
of mind we have a very special gift
which is smile that's a very important
that brings us a lot of good feeling
peace and everyday diplomat practice
smile allow me to offer you a small
exercise or practice of everyday
diplomacy please turn to your neighbor
from left side or from left right side
can you find a partner from left side or
right side please look at your partner
carefully attentively with mine
mindfulness and see some difference
since the beauty of his or her
differences and say something nice to
this person and appreciates this
difference this person is different
difference from everything the rest of
the world and say thank you that's a way
of practicing of every day diplomacy and
finally please raise their hand who feel
yourself as an everyday diplomat many
more thank you very much
[Applause]
you
![The [not so] Glamorous Life of Wives of Diplomats. | Nicole Nasr | TEDxLSE](https://img.youtube.com/vi/cZ-tM68f-ZE/mqdefault.jpg)
