How to live
A Better Life Than Your Ex
How to Emotionally Recover When Your Ex Moves On Too Fast... (Matthew Hussey)
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what's your name Roy hey how are you
good Matthew thinks I've had X talked
about you a lot so I thought I'd come
check you out but well thank you for
being here yeah yeah I enjoy everything
you have to say it but I'm a man so I
mean I'm just trying to figure out what
I can take from the male perspective and
also how do I change the way that I like
I'm I'm very I guess reserved and I well
on my hurt because I mean we're people
but like I have a problem with my ex
moved on fast and I was trying to it it
hurts man
you know it's like we were together for
like five six years and when they move
on fast it makes you feel like you're
not good enough and I just want to know
how how can I change my way of thinking
and it was just they were waiting on me
and I was waiting on them and it just
they just decided to go one way I mean
how do I change my perspective on
letting stuff go because that's what I
need to do I need to let stuff go or I'm
gonna be unhappy for the rest of my life
yes
[Applause]
yeah
Roy you're going through an incredible
amount of hurt when when was it when
when did this happen when did she move
on I guess we split up in August of 18
and I would say it was probably good for
months after yep so it's incredibly
painful part of the pain is you
continuing to convince yourself that
this must on some level have been the
right person and that your right person
is now with someone else now I don't
believe that I believe that the right
person can only be the right person when
it's two people choosing each other so
part of the pain we hold on to is
believing still that we had this jewel
that's gone and as much as we may have
loved someone as much as we may have
thought someone was incredible they may
have had wonderful qualities we may have
been incredibly attracted to them they
may have been all these great things
they cannot represent that that true
dream relationship if they don't choose
you in fact someone not choosing you is
just about the biggest departure from
your dream relationship you could ever
imagine so when we're saying but we were
so close not being chosen by someone is
should be the greatest turnoff in the
world not because there's something
wrong with that person but because how
on earth when I was a kid and I dreamt
about my dream relationship or in my you
know last 10 years or 20 years before I
met someone when I was dreaming of my
dream relationship it couldn't have been
the one where someone decides to go be
with someone else that wasn't it
so this is an it then there's the ego
the ego element of somewhat someone
chose someone else why not me
what what what did that person have
why wasn't I good enough and now we take
the baggage of that forward the greatest
advice I ever received was kill your ego
because that [ __ ] has no place
in your growth none none I box a lot and
when you go into the to the ring and you
are worried about getting hurt when
you're worried about yourself dasi go
when you're worried about the size of
the other guy and this guy's skills and
that's ego when you're worried about I
came in here to do a job what's my job
then ego goes out the window and there
are certain we're all gonna die many
many times in our life we're all gonna
die you just die it all right a piece of
you has to die right now you're going
through [ __ ] hell it's been awful
someone ripped your heart out that's
hell but I want that version of you that
goes through hell and comes out and has
something to say at the end of it that's
the version of you I want do one want
the version of Roy who hasn't been
through that [ __ ] it's [ __ ] boring
as boring I don't want that Roy I want
Roy who's been to hell and back I want I
want Roy who had to go die resurrect
himself and then come tell the rest of
us how to do that
I want that Roy that Roy is interesting
to me I want weathered scarred Roy who's
been through [ __ ] who has interesting
things to say that that Roy is much more
interesting to me and we learn far more
far far more we we become far stronger
by what goes wrong in our lives than
what goes right far more and so this all
this you're going through this is just
like you know like a I could greatest
you like it's just adding flavor just
like it's just making you more and more
interesting more and more complex it's
gonna make you more compassionate it's
gonna make you kinder it's gonna make
you more empathic to other people it's
gonna give you more to bring to your
next relationship it's gonna make you
such a strong person and you get through
this and you deal with this what the
[ __ ] you have to be afraid of
I've died [ __ ] you can't scare
me all right
you see that so there's the ego element
kill Yuri go kill that [ __ ] that guy has
to die so bigamy comes back right and
then there's the morning because you
think you've lost the person you're
supposed to be with I can promise you
you haven't because unless someone
chooses you they aren't the person
you're supposed to be with you could be
disappointed you could be disappointed
she wasn't the person but you can't
grieve like she was the person because
she's not disappointment takes a minute
to get over to but it's much easier to
get over than true grieving of I've lost
the love of my life you didn't lose that
that's still to come something better is
coming for you I promise you my brother
I promise okay
[Music]
