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Getting a BILLION YEARS in Bitlife Prison (I BROKE THE GAME)



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hey guys welcome back to bit life in the

last episode I became a famous adult

film star named me you foo khuda if you

missed that episode link down below in

the description today I'm gonna be doing

some more crime what do you guys send me

this on Twitter

yo Matt J I dare you to beat me they got

187 million years in prison I would like

to try and beat that today apparently if

you do a crime and you escaped from jail

do the same crime again you'll get a

double sentence and if you just keep

doubling your sentence that numbers

gonna get pretty big but don't worry

guys before I do that I am gonna read

some of the top comments on the last

episode and put some are you guys in the

game Matt makes grinding joke me throws

up my Wendy's nice good job pickle chain

you got a thousand likes on this comment

you're gonna go in the game there's

gonna be a person in the game named

pickle chin now also I'm jealous of that

Wendy's that you threw up what if you're

worth the D when DS if you had to throw

it up later I don't know kind of like a

would you rather situation I think I

take the Wendy's Matt you should have

the craziest life crazy boyfriend slash

girlfriend crazy animal your choice

crazy job what counts as a crazy job I'm

not really sure but that does sound like

a fun time only getting involved with

crazy people slash animals or something

I'll keep that in mind my father and I

had a chat about the weird sounds mommy

makes at night me you fukuda three years

I did not notice that when I was playing

maybe that's why me you Fukuda decided

to pursue a career in adult film nice

when I quit my job it will hurt me

next minute boss comes in house with an

ak-47 this is literally the worst joke

ever it wasn't a very good joke but 600

people hit like on it so I don't I don't

know man maybe I don't know what a good

joke is I only just noticed he replaced

the O with a zero in the title to avoid

D monetization modern problems require

modern solutions that's right guys I did

do that sometimes you got to do what you

got to do okay

we had fun nobody was hurt in the making

of that video thank you for not D

monetizing me YouTube Wow okay now it is

time to get sentenced to prison for at

least 180

seven million years can I do it one like

equals one believing in me thank you I'm

just giving you a chance to do it just

in case you're all like good joke mad

it's not a joke Alfred

and ER burg born a male in Stockholm

Sweden I was a result of a mile-high

club one flight stand are you telling me

that your mom and dad met on a flight

and decided to do it in the in the

bathroom on a flight your mom is a

police officer and I thought that was

like illegal or something is it illegal

or just frowned upon hmm

whatever wait a minute my parents didn't

meet on that flight one flight stand

apparently doesn't mean just a one time

thing with the person cuz they have

another child and they just had another

one again cuz my dad's condom broke way

to go dad

I've been seeing sugar daddies with

sugar babies a lot lately almost too

much you're you're 2 years old how do

you even know what you're seeing oh my

god they had another child conceived on

my grandfather's workbench my mother's

been promoted to trooper yeah she is a

true burger after all she's been through

I saw my big sister Elvira during recess

for the first time it was crazy why my

mother and father had a baby boy named

Viggo he was conceived after my father's

condom slid off my father needs to learn

and how to do it properly because that's

too many accidental children here holy

crap guys your dance teacher approaches

you before class and tells you that

dance is more fun with liquid acid what

will you do absolutely I tried liquid

acid what the hell at least it wasn't

liquid ass but still not a good thing

for a 14-year old to be doing especially

when the teacher gives it to you

hello what's wrong with you my first

kiss hmm

let's get some tongue in there it's all

good she tasted like duck that hell okay

she just graduated from high school got

Ecole I know I'm not going to college

but I want to take my driving test and

that's no pedestrians done okay cool

my parents are giving me a Mitsubishi

Outlander Thank You parents I used to

have a Mitsubishi Outlander myself at

one point cool I'll take it

awesome gotta spend my money I'm going

to a doctor now because you know

sometimes it's not good when you have

e.coli thank you doctor

so I can't do any crime just yet I still

have a little bit of time left I'm gonna

ask my parents for some more money okay

you can get away with asking twice no

more than that or they're gonna start

hating you

what'd I do I asked for money twice and

then I give them a compliment when they

give me two lots of money see boom and

I'm like hey mom just you're you're so

good you're strong you're strong

independent woman who gives me money and

I appreciate that

whoa she called me unrivaled I wore the

same underwear for eight weeks

nice job Alfred okay I got a lip

piercing for my 18th birthday and

everyone knows people with piercings are

criminals that's that's just how it

works so let's go do some great okay

crime here we go so we are gonna do a

murder and I don't want to kill my

parents

wolf galaxy is a friend of mine wolf

galaxy this guy shows up so much I don't

know why you're you're so lucky and I am

gonna do a drive-by on this dude and

commit the murder

you tried to perform the drive-by

shooting on your best friend he call the

police on you

oh no 40 years for that man that sucks

how did he get away well I'm so bad at

shooting people from a car public

defender please oh I'm guilty I didn't

have the money to pay for anything else

geez so now I need to escape prison guys

I need to do it I can't screw this up

this is an easy one I've done this one

before oh wow okay that was really dumb

that was really dumb I screwed that up I

don't know I don't know how I screwed

that up but I did so let's just not even

talk about it this is gonna set me back

a little bit I could travel back in time

if I want it should I do that would you

leave a like on this video if I travel

back in time it's gonna cost me a whole

dollar

whoa I arrived from the future after

discovering a wormhole behind the toilet

in my cell and now I get to kill my

friend again or

try maybe this time you'll die wolf

galaxy oh my father is trying to make me

get a job the hell out of here dude I

don't have a piercing this time my life

is so different damn crime here we go

let's murder a person oh man he's not

even my friend anymore

Alexander Larson who are you I'm gonna

kill you bro I guess I could kill a

random drunk maybe that'd be better

mmm okay here we go with drive-by time

got him nice okay let's move on kill

someone else

a random dirty old man let's go he died

too

geez okay apparently it sounded the

easier for me to kill people this time a

random referee yeah he made a bad call

in the rafters game guys and he needs to

die now how how dare he probably cost

the whole game damn well I call the

police on me 90 years in prison oh oh

heck I'm out and I'm on the run let's go

shoot some people huh but but make sure

I do it from a car obviously that random

referee he's gonna get it this time guys

he can't escape me forever

you tried assaulted view oh no what if I

end up dead from assault what if

somebody assaults me too dead don't you

don't you dare sorry Jeff

how did I even how does how do you

assault someone he tries buying a car

what the hell did this guy do prime time

for some more crime please please man

just let me kill this guy I need him to

die I'm I'm barking up the wrong tree

call the police on me 174 years good

stuff let's let's keep this up and out I

go please don't kill me people I really

don't want to die I am very scared

referee frigging referee please die 260

this time man oh man you're really

you're really giving me a hard time here

aren't you

okay I've escaped again I'm getting

better at escaping prison guys it took

me a while to figure this out now part

of me is very worried that this random

referee is gonna get me killed so I'm

gonna I'm gonna kill a friend instead

all right he just it's impossible to

kill him how many times have I tried now

did you just blows the little whistle at

me and that's it I mean you can't you

can't disobey a referee right okay I

killed my friend and 348 years in prison

for that nice just as long as he doesn't

kill me back that's all that matters

oh [ __ ] I think I'm screwed yep that's

okay they're just gonna put me in eight

more years in jail I gotta I gotta

escape next year okay because next year

hopefully the referee won't be an option

and I can try and drive by someone else

okay I got caught again eight more years

in prison I guess I can just go ahead

and go to the next year right hey it's

it's fine it's totally fine oh oh Jesus

Christ come on seriously

I'm really getting sick of this you know

how unhappy I am to be in prison for so

long I got no happiness right now none

I'm gonna get depression soon escape

from that damn prison bro look we have

an easy one this time they're taking

pity on me now on to the crime a random

rapper let's do a drive-by in a rapper

sounds very fitting he'd I don't know

next up we got a homeless man POW he

died too I'm really good at killing

these people aren't I so many random

people have been killed by me now guys

so how much is it going up by each time

not enough that's for sure I think I'm

getting the same amount of years in

prison each time for it okay so I got 94

years in prison and then I got 96 years

in prison and then I got 98 years in

prison that is not what I want cuz

that's not gonna work that's gonna take

me way too long it only goes up by two

years each time guys that is not what I

was hoping for I don't know if they

maybe changed it is it different on the

phone version let me find out well

technically it's not the phone version

it's the Android version because the

Android and the iOS versions are

completely different I'm gonna check

this out real quick great I just spent

forever trying to test this out on

Android and I ended up dying because the

Chinese tourists I tried to kill killed

me instead he fired back at me what kind

of tourist brings a gunman alright so as

you guys can tell I am now playing a

different version of it life this is the

Android version where when you get sent

back to jail they double

your sentence this is how you get a

million years in prison I don't know how

many I'm gonna get I'm currently at

twelve point nine thousand years but I

could get killed in a drive-by at any

time I'm pretty sure maybe there are

certain people who can't kill you back I

don't really know I'm just gonna go for

it

fingers crossed guys let's see how I can

do gotta attempt to escape prison again

I'm getting pretty good these things

since I've done so many but I still hate

them okay another escape complete so I

have a minus 300 bank balance I don't

think that matters at all I don't plan

on doing anything besides getting sent

to prison and coming back again so it

should stay the same

I don't want to advance any more time

I'm not doing too well look at me

I'm having a bad time I got depression

who wouldn't be depressed after getting

sent to jail for thirteen thousand years

you know what I mean so let's go ahead

and do another drive-by on a random

troubadour what's a troubadour is that a

dangerous person could they could they

shoot me one of a class of lyric poets

and poet musician 'he's often of nightly

rank who flourished from the 11th to the

end of the 13th century okay well

apparently that's whatever I'm gonna go

ahead and drive by you now got him so do

I want to do another drive-by now and

risk getting killed no I don't what you

can do an easy way to get sent back to

prison is to just try and go to another

country I want to go to Chile I'm gonna

try to go there legally I got cops I'm

just gonna resist no you big guys stop

it

boom 25,000 years in prison alright so

another couple of prison sentences and

we'll be at a hundred K that'll be

pretty good but you know it ramps up

pretty quick so let's just hope we can

keep adding zeros to this Wow if I want

to appeal my sentence it'll only cost me

six point eight million dollars or more

and they're probably gonna say nah

probably gonna keep me in there I'm

gonna go now goodbye oh [ __ ]

okay so apparently I'm staying in prison

a little longer guys the bank wants to

take my car

Oh Bank Bank don't take my car that

means I have to rob someone when I get

out of prison now and that's always

dangerous you never know who might

happen geez okay

well whatever I'm still a young woman

it's all good I know how to get through

this one so let me just go ahead and do

that real quick all right I'm out of

prison there's another random Troubadour

to kill

don't shoot me back he didn't and you

guys aren't gonna okay you know what

fine what else can I do is there another

way that I could possibly yeah I'm

pretty sure if I apply for a loan for a

car well I need I need money wait how

did I do it on a second oh I do have a

car oh I thought they repossessed it I

read that wrong they were just

threatening threatening to repossess

well that's just fine cuz I'm not gonna

have any more years in prison

well yeah I'm gonna have a lot of years

in prison but I'm not gonna actually do

them I'm not gonna advance anything a

year old game is dime to I guess yeah

I'm gonna apply for a loan for a car

okay

let's just do that that'll be fun maybe

they'll they'll catch me think I would

like this one please hello

oh no employment well man also I'm a

criminal who's supposed to be in jail

for thousands of years okay well I'll

just try and run away again okay

fifty thousand years now guys we're

doing pretty good I suppose I at least

want to hit a hundred thousand you know

it wouldn't wouldn't that be nice to be

sentenced to at least a hundred thousand

years in prison all I got to do is not

die on my next drive-by easy stuff am i

right I am on the run again please do

not murder me back there's no way a dumb

blonde is gonna kill me right she died

nice I wish you guys would just catch me

though wouldn't that be so much easier

than continuously trying to go to Chile

well these days I'm gonna get caught one

of these days I'm gonna go there okay

then you'll be in trouble a hundred

thousand years Oh a random surfer dude

I'm not gonna take me out hmm I just

knew it

maybe another country will take me would

it be hilarious if I could actually

escape

oh I got caught again I was just so

close so close to get it oh hey don't

get murdered only dude the murdering

random construction worker what if he's

if what if he's got a gun

he died oh man

I'm just getting so lucky here I feel

I'm getting pretty lucky here I don't

really know is anyone gonna take me in

Japanese people can I can I be part of

your country now no no I can't gotta go

I gotta go back gotta go back to jail

four hundred thousand years huh escaped

again here we go

who's next of whoa okay listen up buddy

I don't really want to I don't want to

do a random soldier that sounds like the

type of person who would murder me back

but a DJ if I could damn it if I could

steal from a DJ I could probably get a

lot of money here yeah okay okay Oh yep

yep I'm out oh that's enough money for

me to not get repossessed on my vehicle

that's all I wanted okay here we go

again no no here we don't go again one

more year needs to pass please I no

longer have depression and the bank took

my car

well that's uh that's not good what if I

just uh just go back to prison again cuz

maybe I don't need to do any dangerous

drive-bys you know what I mean let's

find out oh my god oh my oh my

god I never have to die because I never

have to do another drive-by again I just

got to leave and come back just go

through the door to come back to the

door and then they double my sentence

and everything is just peachy

it sucks that I'm so depressed but I

don't think you can die from depression

can you don't do anything crazy Chiara

we're getting out of here oh god no good

no good no good no good I screwed it up

I screwed it up I knew I was gonna screw

dogs didn't know how this one worked and

now damn it they're taking me away

they're adding the whole 28 years to my

sentence whoa I got depression again

guys apparently I didn't have it before

that's okay uh all I got to do is just

get these right this one is a good one

okay just don't give me any more stupid

ones and we'll be just fine

they're you staying in a little box cuz

I've got prison sentence to double by

one point six million years boys we're

doing it we're doing it 3.2 million

years the only thing I'm worried about

guys is dying and the only way I can die

is if time goes ahead so as long as all

these escape attempts attempts go okay

I'll never die I'll just live forever

and I'll just get sentenced to prison

forever I'm gonna go to Ireland now well

Mandy won't let me in oh geez

oh dang it okay we're almost at ten

million right so many numbers I don't

think it's possible to illegally go to a

country guys because I have tried so

many times and now I'm just going to

jail for 26 million years instead of

living a happy life in France jeez now

you tell me how a person with 5% smarts

has managed to escape from every prison

I've ever went to and they went to a lot

of prisons or the same prison or

something huh tell me how that works

100 million years in prison obviously

guys if you have an Android device you

can do this exact same thing and you can

do it forever if you wanted but I'm

gonna stop at a billion because I think

that's probably far enough there you go

209 million years in prison I beat you

buddy

I beat you because I figured out how to

do it without ever having to worry about

dying now let's keep going just a couple

of more three more 418 million years

two more 837 million years in prison the

world's most dangerous criminal man I

actually have a pretty dangerous

criminal I killed a lot of people before

I realized I don't even need to kill

anybody else I only needed to kill one

person but hey killing a whole lot of

people is better right I've noticed that

the game lags a lot when you get this

far look how long I already clicked on

the thing and it's taken forever to

bring up the screen because there's just

so many years so I definitely don't do

any more than this last escape attempt

right here they're making it the easiest

one in the entire game thank you guys so

much you just really know how to make a

man feel good don't you goodbye see you

very shortly just gonna go try and leave

the country now because that's something

that I haven't tried to do yet you know

what I mean just picking a random

country cuz it really doesn't matter I

was caught I can't believe I was caught

resist deportation resist arrest it'd be

really funny if they killed me for

resisting arrest

hello hello Oh God

what happened seriously hello well what

hello huh what's going on something

something going on I don't know why I

didn't I don't know what's going on I

just wanted to get a billion years in

jail but they didn't want me to do that

I'm gonna go ahead and quit the game and

get back in but I'm calling this a

billion years in jail regardless okay

just so you know there's no way I'm not

because I I did it I resisted arrest

they're sending me to jail but for some

reason some things some things happened

you know I don't know

come on a little sperm let's let's let's

let's do it are we all good here yeah

oh wow okay so I got sent back quite a

ways guys uh where we we succeeded okay

we succeeded that was then I I broke the

game I got so many years in prison that

I broke the game that's what we're going

with here that's the story I did

everything I was supposed to do and the

last step boom stonewalled me so yeah

can you get further than that you guys

can give it a try at home if you want

and and see see if the game will

actually let you get a billion years

because it broke for me so yeah cool

thanks for watching goodbye

[Music]

[Applause]