Gary Vee & Jay Shetty ON How To Stop Caring What People Think Of You | ON Purpose Podcast Ep.19

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hello everyone welcome back to on

purpose I'm so grateful that you're a

part of this community I'm so grateful

that you keep committing to your growth

your development and your learning and

today's guest doesn't really need an

introduction I know that you're all

aware watching his content everywhere

from Facebook to Instagram to YouTube

and many other platforms LinkedIn

included but today I love the fact they

were not watching a keynote we're not

watching a Q&A we're not watching on

one-minute or three-minute IG TV clip

we're getting a moment to dive in on

purpose with the one and only Gary the

serial entrepreneur investor five times

New York Times bestselling author and

the founder of vaynermedia and vayniacs

Gary thank you for being here man well

actually I'm in your office it's all

family I appreciate man thank you so do

this No thank you so much thank you man

thank you I've really been looking

forward to this because I've been in

this office a few times and those

meetings with Yavor has been memorable

thank you and I say this to everyone

when I'm thinking about being an

entrepreneur when I'm thinking about

working hard the person's countenance

which one too is yours I appreciate this

so for me your content has been really

powerful for me thank you and I don't

think many people knew this when I first

came in an interview before crushing it

which was so much fun but that for me I

when I hear you speak I feel very

aligned with a lot of it and actually

it's helped me gain conscious competence

on what I already do so I think a lot of

us have unconscious competence we're

doing stuff right but we don't even know

we're doing it right yes and then when I

listen to him like oh I do that okay I'm

doing it right and that's been a really

nice reaffirming believe me you know

it's funny to hear you say that I do

that for myself yes I'm such an

intuitive executor yes that I lived

through life where I go wait a minute

I'm doing this and then I'm almost doing

it for myself

which is why I think it's easy for me to

do it for others yes a lot of you know

it's even what we just saying that out

loud made me realize huh that's similar

to the things I talked about I am so

uncomfortable to talk about anything

that I haven't lived it's easy to share

my opinions and thoughts and aspirations

cuz they're completely predicated on

actually doing it

not on hypothesis or ideology or things

I've heard from others it's a very safe

place absolutely yeah and this is yeah I

totally agree it's one of the reasons

why I don't have any advice on parenting

like I always get advice asked questions

on parenting when I'm on panels whatever

I'm like I'm not a parent yet so my

opinions are there I'd love to ask you a

question it's funny I've been that way

for a long time and then I started

thinking about the great coaches you

know there's some there's some all-time

great athletic coaches who've never

played the sport mm-hmm and I always

think about that which is you know I am

now a parent but I can tell you that a

lot of my opinions on parenting have

become true because I was actually able

to synthesize it from the perspective of

the child sure so I've been parented yes

which gives me quite a bit out of and

that's something you may want you know I

also intuitively through our you know a

couple our business meetings and some of

our dinners like I do think naturally we

do align in a lot of ways though we

manifest our energies hourly differently

I think that um one thing for you to

debate is what in the way that you were

parented has created you mhm mhm and

what does that then mean is I think that

I think that's something we need to I

actually think that I am consumer

centric which is why I'm a great

salesperson I don't think about me

trying to sell this basketball card I

think about why would Jason want this

basketball card I actually think that

most of my parenting hot takes come from

the perspective of the child not the

parent it's being the consumer of

instead of the pontificate er of so I

don't know I actually think that

children should be speaking more as we

get older as a 44 year old our parenting

advice should be predicated on tapping

into who we were as children not who

were parenting today because a lot of

the shortcomings of parenting is the

opinions of other parents and teachers

not staying in a silo but when you think

of yourself as a child you can only take

the context of what your parents did in

your perception at this point right

wrong or indifferent yeah I like that no

I agree and I think it's a part of it is

just and I think you match this and

that's what I'm trying to do is if I am

advising on something that I

Danya it's balanced with humility right

like it's coming from a place of your

your more obvious with your humility

than I am one of the reasons 25% of

people or whatever the number is at

first struggle with me or as you've

navigated through life

maybe you've been surprised at time so

like oh you don't like Gary it's because

ma your energy as a communicator the

humility is extremely obvious and that's

why the audience loves you so much

ironically humility is why my audience

loves me so much except there's a veneer

of a competitive alpha cursing Jersey

kid that doesn't necessarily immediately

become obvious yes which allows a

certain amount of judgement and and not

misunderstanding because I am Who I am

and so I don't judge others for that but

yes I think that people see my humility

10 if they dig in a little bit yes it's

you are much more obvious though it is

absolutely our connective tissue on

palpable miss yeah that yes we do have

some natural talents and life

experiences but there is an inherent

understanding that we share on that I'm

absolutely convinced that my humility is

a deep foundational aspect to my success

and I do not believe that most people

actually see that at first with me hmm

yeah and a lot of people would just say

that when you're saying that about

yourself it's like oh well yeah it's

easy to say but you're right someone

needs to dig in right you need to dig in

you need to get stuck into someone's

life to really know what they're for and

when you asked me about the parenting

point the first thing that came to my

mind is my parents never really got

excited about metrics or achievements

for me and I love that because it pushed

me further so we didn't really celebrate

every win like if I got a first-class

degree which I did my parents weren't

like showering on the rooftops of it was

like well what's next and so for me my

mindset so in a healthy way in a healthy

way not in like no but it's important

yeah you know like I even got goosebumps

like I can hear a lot of people now

hearing that and saying oh that's a lot

of [ __ ] pressure yeah like I don't

smell the roses either I've never

celebrated [ __ ] in a healthy way it

doesn't it's like this balancing act of

like that's awesome but I'm not gonna

let that achievement make me be a

[ __ ] at the same token if I never

achieve another thing

it's okay it's the opportunity to try to

achieve the next thing yes that is

exciting not the judgment of if I do

from others mm-hmm absolutely absolutely

and I think we have that challenge where

you either get cocky or complacent when

something goes your well you kind of go

either way and it's like you either let

compliments get to your head or you let

criticism get to your heart and I feel

like if you're really good at letting

compliments get to your head you're more

likely to let criticism get to your

heart you know it's the same thing I

always say which is like I can't hear

anything right I don't hear the boos I

don't hear the cheers I talk a lot about

why people aren't capable of producing

content to the world which is now the

requirement as a human to achieve

happiness I genuinely believe that I

believe taking advantage of all of our

abilities to reach out to the world

through these new channels with no

friction is an enormous gift an

opportunity the reason most can't

achieve it is because they're unable to

take back the inevitable feedback that

immediately comes with the opportunity

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your point i genuinely believe the

reason I can take the feedback is

because when I go into my Instagram post

and I just posted literally and

back-to-back content comments excuse me

one will say that I'm walking on water

and the next will say that I'm a snake

oil salesman charlatan

the fact that neither penetrate my

psyche is absolutely where I'm at mm-hmm

absolutely and that's a quite Amity

right like that is that whatever you

want to call it it's the game because

people want the positive reinforcement

that you know there's so many models on

Instagram right men and women you're so

beautiful you look so great you're so

beautiful you look so great you're full

of [ __ ] you look fake they're crushed

because they take too much and that you

look so great yes and I think and I

think that's the point that we're

hitting on here which I love is that

that over emphasis on positive it's what

makes the negative so hard to take it's

also an incredible place for me to add

some clarity that I haven't done a good

job on historically which is something

I'm thinking a lot more about Raghav

it's fun to see you here because we have

this call yesterday I'm like look I'm at

my worst when I'm excited in an

interview and I'm and I'm drilling a

headline yes I love doing it it's fun

it's showmanship it's wrestling promo

videos it's my natural state you know I

talk a lot about not giving a [ __ ] about

other people's opinions it's also

because I take the complete opposite

approach which is every negative piece

of feedback that I get I genuinely go

into two places a I deploy sympathy and

empathy for the person leaving the

comment because inevitably immediately

on that action I know that they're not

in a good place

if you go to somebody else's social

consume it and then spew hate you're not

in a fun you're not in a good place

no you're unhappy yeah next I start

trying to see the insight to any truth

in it mmm you know the second that

you're high on your own supply you're

vulnerable yes and so I don't I don't

give a [ __ ] about anybody's opinion

ironically I value everybody's opinion I

just synthesize it and then decide to

take the good from it yes by deploying

empathy and sympathy to the deliver of

the I'm stunned by our lack of

conversation society right now on this

part there's a lot of judgment and hot

takes and comments we need to judge the

person delivering the message absolutely

like like how is your mother's opinion

of you have the same weight as anonymous

54s comment on Instagram yeah that is

ludicrous absolutely in the same way of

how is a co-worker's opinion you have to

factor that and different than your

mother because your mother blindly

thinks you're the best if you're lucky

enough to have that mother you know and

so superfast it's it's it's just pulling

from opposite directions and I think you

know I'm pulling so hard from opposite

directions that my balance is coming in

that ya know I get that and I love

breaking that down into what I call the

four C's of trust it's like what are you

trusting or judging people of competence


character consistency right these are

the four things that you can judge

someone if let you judging someone of

their competency but don't remember that

a person may be competent they may not

care about ask you a question yeah sure

your opinions yeah so I hear that which

makes a lot of sense to me it was funny

where my heart went and my brain I am

stunned by how almost binary my judgment

is completely predicated on intent

mm-hmm if you if I believe your intent

was to be there for me mm-hmm but your

actions were not that you were


I'm completely unbothered and I don't

know what that means but I'm super

[ __ ] grateful that I have it yeah but

that's an art and a skill that you have

and I'd like to think I have the same

where I'm I'm able to do that too I'm

able to let go what is the what is the

concept of not having expectations from

your perspective because I would tell

you that that maybe my great superpower

yeah you know somebody said to me Tom

bail you on my podcast said to me Gary

your superpower is your ability not to

judge yourself and I've been saying it a

lot and then literally on a flight this

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not con /j like i'm able to not judge

myself because i don't judge others a

lot of people who are like a lot of

right so tell me I don't know I'm no

powerful no that's that's a great point

how do you that's a such a great point

no your your support um because the

reason why we have we judge others is

because we judge ourselves right the

opposite of what you're saying and so

for me it's the same thing the reason

why I don't expect is because I see

everything is my responsibility yeah I

see everything as my work yes and I see

everything else is a bonus yeah it's

just amazing that anyone even cares

about me or has time for me or makes an

effort to do something or connect me to

someone or whatever it is and that's

just a beautiful bonus of life but I've

got to be in charge of and I think that

just came from many years of having

expectations I think that came from

times when I did expect and I didn't get

and I realized I don't wanna feel this

way anymore like I don't want to

experience this anymore this doesn't

make any sense and I think for a lot of

people we do start our lives expecting

certain things whether it's from a

relationship a boyfriend a girlfriend or

whatever it is and then we have to

deconstruct them well this gets into

parenting yes you know this is the

framework of what our parents are

creating for us we're one of the most

interesting things that are happening in

a lot of modern societies as we have had

disproportionate prosperity over five

six seven decades America has had a

clean run I mean we've had a couple of

recessions here and there we've had a

couple of internal country scandals we

have underlining issues of sexism and

racism and things that nature but in its

most macro this has been the Empire

things have been good and what has

happened is we've created unbelievable

levels of entitlement mmm entitlement

entitlement I can't stop thinking about


yeah it has come it's starting to

consume me hmm that I never you know it

sounds crass like never expect anything

from anyone hmm but but I almost want to

find new ways to say

just to help people understand it is the

great gift of life yeah when you get

into a place where you have zero

expectations and you actually don't

believe you're entitled to anything hmm

you can actually start doing things yes

absolutely because otherwise that's

what's paralyzing you because you feel

like somebody else is in control no the

man the society the government the

president the not president the governor

the mayor the system the the systemic

infrastructure and really it's a crutch

right like war really it's just it's a

nice like that's another way it's worse

it's an excuse yes at its best it's a

lack of perspective yes yes yeah at the

West it's an excuse exactly it's just

like it's another way of I hate I hate

when people that are the opposite of

that aren't sympathetic to that some

people don't use it as an excuse there

are absolutely people who use it as

excuse because they just don't want to

do and they want to continue to be

entitled lazy whatever one would want to

deploy but but I hate when people go the

other way and a lot of people think I

can go that other way where it's like

it's on you it's a no it's it's a little

more subtle than that there are people

that just don't have that perspective

and that's why talking about it in

moments like this lead to suck look when

I do a podcast like this knowing that

you have such a thoughtful audience I

come on knowing we overlap in a lot of

places all I've been thinking about for

the first ten minutes and I'll think

about for the rest of this talk is can I

bring one person value can I add an

adjective a sentence a saying the same

thing in a different way than Jay or

somebody else says that helps Karen

who's listening to this right now on her

treadmill like actually do something

there's nothing more intoxicating than

when you're a communicator then getting

the feedback loop of somebody saying you

said something I did something I'm

happier now end of story

yeah absolutely and whether you're

listening to or watching this right now

whether you're on a treadmill whether

you're commuting to or from work whether

you're walking your dog right now I want

to make want you to make sure also that

you're listening for that right I just

want to prepare the audience everyone

who's listening and watching right now

make sure you're listening for that to

find that in this pod let me say this is

an outside observer if you're listening

to Jays podcast from my standpoint your

your you have a level of curious

city or subconscious understanding that

there's a tweak or two that can really

change the game that already puts you in

an incredible place and when I think

about individuals that I admire that are

on to it like yourself and I'd like to

think me in you and me being different

listen there's a significant a

significant there's a chunk of the

audience right now that genuinely

doesn't like me that likes you because

of it because I watch I read I like you

I know that and I love you and I think

but here's where I'm going my big thing

is what I think we need to have more

optimism and positivity in the ecosystem

when we're lucky enough here's my point

of view there are people who are gonna

be attracted to my message style more

than yours and vice versa and we need to

start thinking in an Avengers talk yes

yes like it's like I'm very grateful

that I was an immigrant came in through

a rugged Russian DNA structure grew up

in in Jersey was a terrible student

didn't understand high society high

education no anything because what ended

up happening is at its melting us down

we're the same mm-hmm adding the layers

allows a 46 year old born in Jersey to a

shitty situation [ __ ] everybody

[ __ ] the social left [ __ ] everybody

they're attracted to me yet what I'm

pitching in disguise is empathy kindness

gratitude so I'm getting far more DMS

from people that say things like a year

ago I was addicted to drugs striking my

woman thought you were cool you weren't

gonna make me money I don't know what

you did to me but over the last year

I've reconciled that relationship I've

gotten help I'm selling stuff on eBay

I've gotten this better job my

relationship with my dad has changed I

confronted my mother

the reality is you could never do that

for that person on the flip side you're

doing something for somebody who sees me

an Instagram explorer likes the title

click sit and an eight-second says [ __ ]

this guy

this guy's a piece of [ __ ] what how

could see did cut like ego and they're

out and they're never coming back

when I think about that today I think

it's unbelievably important and one of

the things I I'm so happy about we've

never talked about this but it you know

just kind of came to me here I'm so

happy that we have this admiration for

each other because I actually believe

that there's too many people that are

doing good in the world right now but

because of the veneer of how they're

doing it other good people are judging

them to not do it their way and we're

destroying the upside yes yeah a hundred

percent I'll give you a perfect example

I happened on the podcast so a couple of

podcasts ago I had Chelsea Handler on

the book okay and a lot of people were

like Jay how can you have Chelsea on yes

right like Chelsea's negative and she

talks about celebrity gossip and all of

this stuff and I met Chelsea at a wisdom

2.0 conference where we were both

speaking about mindfulness and I was

there and I saw Chelsea and she spoke

about mindfulness and she sat through

everyone else's presentations so she was

there for Rio she was present and we

connected afterwards and I realized that

meditation has been a huge part of her

life and so I wanted to have her on

because that's what her new books about

and that's what we were discussing and

and the judgment was so high of like Jay

how can you sit down I was just like

wait a minute if I consider myself a

kind good and pathetic human being if I

can't display that to absolutely

everyone to understand them from a

different perspective then I can't be a

good kind of empathetic human being and

so sometimes mention Jay yeah that

almost not almost everybody doesn't know

everything totally about everybody of

course I mean we the the the the

eliminate me going through a process

over the last half decade of curtailing

my judgment I didn't start with a whole

lot mmm but whatever I started at to

where I am now compared to thirty six

months ago has put me into a stronger

position that I've never could have

imagined and makes me excited for next

fifty years of my life hmm I'm just done

now if there's something that is

obviously black and white done you know

like it doesn't mean that nobody can do

no wrong but boy we are in hot take

judgment land yeah

they don't know Chelsea I don't think

yeah like like they don't know no

no and we don't see it and I just don't

know I don't know like I I think people

here you know like yeah and I actually

wanted to do this analysis and you've

just given me this bowl right now lepree

quick ago somebody judging somebody for

doing celebrity judgment when they're

judging that celebrity in the output is

the most hypocritical thing I've ever

heard of all time yeah but this is

literally what they're doing to you in

the comment section

they're mad at for her doing yeah this

is the age of quarrel and hypocrisy

they're like that's like that's so huge

like it's so huge but you you've just

given me an idea because when I listen

to you and I think this is I would love

to do and I don't know if your team's

doing it so one of you guys Raghavan

please try this out I'd love for someone

on Gary's team to do a keyword search on

how many times Gary uses the word

gratitude or positivity or or humility

versus even a cuss word that he gets

said that he says too many of we have it

awesome great yeah yeah I want to see it

because when I listen to you when I

listen to you and this is what I feel we

have to look beyond and I think what

we're encouraging people to do I hear

the words optimism positivity humility

the other one that I said what did I say

gratitude gratitude I say I hear

gratitude more than anything like every

time I turn you on all I ever hear is

gratitude and so for me that's what's

even better yeah and I love you for that

and we'll see what looks like what I'm

real why I love you and other people I

admire why I love hip hop as a genre me


how about the fact of what about not

taking it literally yes so like what I

know is before I got mature enough to

start because I had a bad vocab because

I was a poor student before I got myself

to understanding how about the fact that

I didn't my tea I'm looking at my team

right now how about the fact that I'm

even using the word sympathy now where I

never even said it once because I'm

starting to understand slightly at least

um the world's interpretation of

sympathy versus empathy because I used

empathy sometimes when I meant sympathy

you know I'm evolving but like like but

how about go watch the first thousand

episodes of Wine Library TV I'm doing a

wine show yeah I'm never saying

gratitude or empathy or kindness but if

you watch it kindness I'm saying

kindness and empathy and

attitude and positivity and optimism

yeah that's you know to me that's what

I'm trying to in the reverse to I see a

lot of people that everybody puts on a

pedestal in society cuz they're saying

the right things but I'm seeing

something different which is not as

pretty right and I think that we need to

get into a thoughtfulness conversation

as a society of back to intent mm-hmm


people are so literal yes and I like to

me what I know literally to the day both

one of us dies there's nothing you're

gonna do that's gonna upset me because

I've already got enough data by narrowly

on what you're about mmm the end yeah

you know I have the advantage of also

being in the business world like for

everybody listening let me let me say

I'm about to give you a compliment that

I have no clue of how are you gonna take

this I'm just enjoying watching from

afar because I'm in the trenches of your

thoughtfulness of how you're thinking

about your professional career how are

you thinking about what partners are you

gonna work with you know people are

pitching you like you know this is my

world right so like even just watching

from afar without details of all the

different parties some reaching out to

me like hey can you put in a good word

we want to sign them for a tour for a

book series for really like just the

thoughtfulness that you're putting in

you know it just reminds me a lot of me

and this may be me complimenting myself

but no listen there's not update as it

goes in I will say this Jay in

comparison to a lot of people that look

like us guys gals different people in

society I believe most people are not

thoughtful and they're kind of into

short-term KPIs

whether it's dollars or fame or

followers or just checking the box mm

and I think you've you're deploying

currently one of the more thoughtful

executions I admire that well thank you

man I think it's a big part of his value

for patients and for me anyway a word

that's gonna come up tell me about

something I would want to ask you this

because I consume everything you put out

so for me it's you know I have my minds

a human algorithm of what you're saying

to but I'd love to know what is it that

you've been thinking about lately that

you can't put into a one-minute 4-minute

video because you're apprehensive about

the fact that people are just gonna run

in and you know because

you need more context what have you been

won yes sir what did I tell you that I

don't want to write the article we need

six more months this is the first time I

[ __ ] happen I can't believe you just

asked that rung up in the entire time

how many times I've ever told you no not

yet it's not ready it happened yesterday

for the first time oh wow it almost

never happens okay something I'm

thinking a ton about which is a complete

and utter pot committed thesis of bottom

up everything okay meaning test and

learn MVP mmm what how I see it is a

complete and utter commitment to lack of

fear hmm so what we were talking about

I'm in this mindset of like everything

should be a pilot you know you and I are

thought okay this is so meta I just got

done telling you how much I admire the

fact that you're thoughtful and now I'm

about to tell you that you and I should

put out new stuff every day that has no

thought against it as a data loop back

to the thought right but therefore it's

thoughtful I think so yeah it's it's a

Mac I like you that's exactly right

in the macro the most thoughtful one can

do thoughtful thing that one can do

right now in our society to take

advantage of the internet is to not

think about output put it out you know

what it manifested into this is really

back to like me living my dog food or

eating my dog food last night I put up

my single worst-performing Instagram

post in the last five years right it's

called what if Wednesday's after the

call of like saying yes we're gonna tell

the world in six months this kind of pop

pop concept we're telling them now

obviously we've now made the commitment

is again me like completely

contradiction of my own self I'm giving

it to you no you right here you know we

need to be more creatively brave we need

to take advantage of the internet the

feedback loop I knew that the piece of

content wasn't gonna work I'm creating

this thing called what if Wednesdays and

it's this idea that I love products

right baseball cards cereal wine

sneakers so we're gonna every Wednesday

we're gonna post something on Instagram

called what if Wednesday's what if I

made this product

the first one we posted was a former

employee of mine Tyler babban actually

Bobby babban who just went for this

incredible thing at Adobe just left our

team in an episode of dailyvee like a

year and a half ago went really viral in

my community I was in an elevator with

him we were joking we put on it it was

in the vlog where I was like let's make

Bobby babban beef jerky and I was like

this whole ha-ha-ha thing anyway we

posted it last night we posted it it did

I've never had a piece of content not

get 10,000 likes like just like

unbelievably poor and I'm so happy cuz

I'm living my truth which is we now live

in a world where people are so into

growth hacking the algorithm you know I

think it's something that you're gonna

go through because I watch you and I'm

like okay that's working for him

yeah I hope he I can't wait for him to

get to a place where he realizes that's

great yeah but I need to be saying what

I want to be saying yes not what I know

will work yeah and I quoted Ming's

insides so for me it's like I've always

got my mane same horse same thing I

never got my sides and I'm switching

them all the time all the same thing

yeah I could side dishes yeah I've

called it Navy SEALs to the army yeah I

call it 85% core 15 percent play I've

said to everyone so anyway have one like

I've always said to people if I had

seven formats that worked for me I'd

have seven videos and I'd keep re

growing punchline I'm in the beginning

process of putting myself in a position

I wanted to do QA I started a show

called the askgaryvee show yeah I wrote

a book called askgaryvee and now I'm

able to do keynotes where it's 30

minutes keynote 30 minutes QA cuz I know

I'm at my best with QA cuz I can show my

expertise not my showmanship yeah right

yeah so I know that I'm in the beginning

stages of putting myself into a place

because something I've discovered about

myself that I had no clue and I mean no

clue I'm dramatically more creative than

I realized

and I'm about to put myself into a place

yeah to be creative on a daily basis to

taste in an acceptance way as a side

dish instead of a theory yeah 100%

I love that man that's awesome well the

one thing I've been trying to figure out

with you as well and which i think is

such a thing that you balance so well

you can call it a superpower if you like

is your ability we talked about this

earlier and spoken now your ability to

not judge yourself

to hold yourself accountable and I think

that that is such a scary thing for

people because a lot of us don't judge

ourselves and then we don't do anything

or lots of us so accountable to

ourselves that we don't give us space to

do what you just said you do now I'd

like please

yeah no no so what I'm just saying is

the action you just took yesterday shows

the balance of the two it's also it's

just yes and this gets into confidence

not ego this gets into loving yourself

and not being delusional look what I

just did it's also I literally told him

for the first time ever I'm not ready to

tell the world about that and 12 [ __ ]

hours later I told the world about it

that is remarkably intriguing to me yeah

and I'm just trying to fight look this

is actually fun platform to probably say

this another thing I know that I'm gonna

start talking a lot more about is how

much I don't think I'm right mm-hmm

I just know I'm right for myself yes and

I definitely want everybody to find

what's right for themselves there is no

right 100 percent like you know

especially you know a lot of people try

to throw hustle porn and all this stuff

at me and I'm devastated by it because

I'm like [ __ ] because i used the word

hustle and because of my energy i mean

my first book i outlined work 30 hours

this is about one big game of happiness

yet people here are 7 p.m. to 2:00 in

the morning people are using my name to

build up their profile and I'm like [ __ ]

I don't want this right this would

devastate me if there's any confusion

and so you know I'm being very

thoughtful because I have to respect it

yeah I have to respect that Pete you

know even though I know they're using it

to build up their profile and it makes

me so sad that people are falling for it

and it's like the reverse of like things

that they make fun of or are mad at that

start happening in society I still have

to be thoughtful about it but yeah I I

you know like the way I always took that

from you was and I say this often too is

just like it's work ethic it's right and

there is no substitute for that when I

started using hustle and it became but

like it was just my version of work at

work ethic yes you're lying you know but

but and and there's truth in it I also

probably the single loudest voice in

entrepreneurship telling people they're

not entrepreneurs yesterday

like I don't know like back to hearing

things that's the way you reacted this

one hasn't necessarily been obvious to

you yet but I hope people hear it I'm

[ __ ] I'm talking about self-awareness

yes yes yes yes like I think it's

incredible to be a number four hmm how

about this

I sometimes fantasize about being a

number for you it sucks being the number

one everything's my fault I met with two

employees today I want to blame their

managers but I know it's my fault

because I hired their managers yeah so

yeah I mean it's lonely to talk it's uh

uh I I I think that one thing that I'm

getting excited about is creating more

context and clarity around my conviction

and confidence in myself which allows me

to do what you just brought up hmm and

now I want to start pushing it out in a

way that allows people to do it for

themselves here's my thing and I always

say this to you so I'm glad I was I when

we first started this podcast I was

about to say it again because I actually

believed it but I was like now I always

say it and now I'm happy I'm about to

say it you have crazy beautiful eyes

like the first have you said that to me

was like I think it's the first time we

met and it's not one of the most awkward

things I didn't know I expect that from

Gary you did nothing to make that happen

true I always say I can take credit for

them I said that all the time I don't

take credit for anything I am all my

accolades I'm like my parents yeah my

circumstance yeah ooh Soviet Russia to


whoo the 80s oh Jersey oh this Oh some

form of learning disability I may be

shitty at school like right uh you know

by the way not being diagnosed with a

learning disability which then either

I'm right or I'm wrong but it doesn't

matter I didn't have to deal with that

pressure especially the 80s when I was a

little bit more of like scary than it is

now like what if I was what if I did

maybe I didn't probably not because they

would have caught really you get into

all these circumstances this is a big

deal though I'm sure that what I talk

about is right for me because I'm

incredibly in tune with myself and I'm

an incredibly good communicator in a

style that hits a certain group which

helps them get the insight to create

affirmation to

lack of fear to try something to start

the process to get to a happier place

that is a [ __ ] blessing yeah 100% now

I want people to figure out that things

are right for them based on their luck

circumstance what's their beautiful eyes

yeah yes maybe they're not an

entrepreneur because they don't lack

they don't have incredible lack of fear

but maybe that they are incredibly

compassionate unbelievably analytical so

remarkably competitive incredibly

gorgeous wonderfully funny like let's

lean into what we're [ __ ] awesome

about everybody spending all their time

but they suck at yeah themselves they're

doing that and I promise you everybody

else is spending all their time telling

you what you suck at I'm spending all my

time thinking about what I'm [ __ ]

awesome at yeah and I'm spending all my

time trying to figure out what everybody

else is awesome at some of its very

obvious like beautiful eyes others are

like hey you're a good [ __ ] kid keep

listening to me you know like that's

what's going on but that's because of

awareness of story it's like we're all

so addicted to watching other people's

stories that we don't have a high

awareness of our story and we're not

telling ourselves like well you just

explained all your connections from your

past your parenting to school you've

created the story arc that fits you that

works for you because you could tell

yourself a different story about that

but what also happens as you evolve into

it what people don't understand about

getting to a place of being happy with

yourself it starts giving you foundation

to address what you're not as good at


unlike I've took twenty years ago I

couldn't speak to first I didn't know

this about myself but today I could

speak to my lack of candor along the way

is a shortcoming of mine as a manager

and over the last five years veiners in

a healthier place because I realized in

my lack of being interested in conflict

I would hold it to myself but then I

would pull the rug from underneath you

when I would fire you without giving you

context along the way even though my

thing was like [ __ ] don't you realize

how shitty you're doing but no that's

not your responsibility you're in your

own framework that's not something I

could say out loud ten years ago yes but

you can't know a hundred percent because

when you dig in and deep down triple

down on happiness optimism self-love

you get to a place where you get such

into a good place that you can start

putting your toe into your shortcomings

yeah I so agree I so agree we're doing

it the other way around majority we're

doing it the other way around

you're not in love with yourself so

you're not in a place where you can talk

about your vulnerabilities so what you

do is you start calling out the

vulnerabilities that you have in others

yes absolutely absolutely and then and

then it grows because the more you're

meditating on other people's

vulnerabilities the more they even

become yours I've seen that sometimes

when you keep talking about and thinking

about setting on someone else's you

start mirroring do you know what I just

realized I actually spent no time on

judging people's shortcomings only

focusing on their strengths I don't even

have the capacity or the room left yeah

Ralph doesn't get feedback from me we

get we're doing our thing and the

feedback he got yesterday's you're ready

for this brother I see it you can do

this right this is a [ __ ] metas [ __ ]

this is real this happened yesterday I'm

in [ __ ] me talking with six months

he's writing for me we're doing this

thing and what he gets from me yesterday

is you're ready for this you could do

better here's why I see it and we can do

better that's and I start with it's on

me and then it's [ __ ] amazing

yeah the [ __ ] you're right it's optimism

like why everything else is pessimistic

absolutely I'm one of the best things I

love about that is when you're all-in on

your strengths you appreciate other

strengths but it also limits your envy

and jealousy right like when you

genuinely start I'm you know going in a

minute what does about to say is it's

the same I'm blown away by my

inabilities on those two things but I

had to raise them because there's such

big thing let's go meta do you pump them

you're podcasters head of mine Jim being

a dead [ __ ] serious

I swear on my [ __ ] children's health

I go into the charts occasionally you

know once every two weeks cuz I like to

stay on top of [ __ ] and I look and I see

you there I'm like [ __ ] good

those [ __ ] eyes yeah but no I mean it

makes me happy it makes me happy because

here's my big thing when it comes to

things of that nature if you don't have

that gear then you're not respecting the

game that's giving you life hmm if I

can't be happy for people who are

winning in entrepreneurship and content

then I'm [ __ ] on the game that's

made me happy totally 100% I couldn't

agree I'm so in love with you know what

I've been afforded to be able to do that

I want everybody else who can do that to

to be better at me if they can't yeah

and and the beauty I think for all of us

who know that for me the same thing back

is this is an exchange it's love it's

support right like we all know that like

I've seen this for years that

collaboration has beat compassion every

time and I know we shall - okay there's

also the abundance yeah yeah there's so

much there everyone yeah hundred percent

and I think we live in this world where

it's like oh if I do this then no one's

gonna follow gary NJ which is not true

no one goes I follow Gary I'm not gonna

follow Jay I Willis like I was a I was

letting you talk cause I'm trying to be

more thoughtful about that

I let me really Ling down this I

literally was thinking in my mind as we

were segwaying from last part some of my

favorite comments ever have been looking

at my friends and seeing people write

things that save for Batum hey let's use

you hey Jay and let me give a real

example maybe Sai Wakeman somebody

awesome yes I just remember somebody

leaving a comment when I was going to

look at my friend to like give him some

love like double tap or leave something

literally the comment that was above me

like I was writing comment was like hey

somebody I don't wanna make it up yeah

used to listen to Gary Vee but [ __ ] that

like you're so much better and the sheer

happiness and it comes in a couple ways

it's actually back to double side coins

a abundance love positivity

collaboration be competition mmm you

know I was pumped for her and I was like

let me go back to the lab and make it

awesome [ __ ] you know like yeah if you

can't respect the game they go in more

than what it brings to you then I don't

think you're an all-time player and I

think you see that all the time and I

and I know you've been getting in a

football racing you know real football

yes proper yes yeah like soccer yeah and

it's like for me I know you've been

getting and I look at that in Ronaldo

and Messi who are compared yeah and I'm

like I meet daily papers be as great as

they are if they didn't have each I

don't agree more right and and I know

even at the fact that they can both

exist in the same world and by the way

somebody wins

game yes like Liverpool won yes the

other day like that happens and I think

we need to be careful cuz we're being

very foofy-foofy here are we in a good


going like we're talking about very

positive light like I think people get

confused if you back to don't take the

words listen to what we're saying here

we are saying that there's ramifications

we are saying that there's winning and

losing hmm we are there is only hard

yeah I know we are clearly but we're

saying that without each other they

wouldn't feel that same fuel to keep

going and then you choose whether you

want that fuel to keep going or you're

gonna wallow in that fuel and then just

roar my favorite part is do you even

want to drive that car in that fuel

anymore truth when I tell you the great

question in my life right now is will I

wake up one day and go completely the

other way I think it's actually possible

and I smile with that because I don't

know and I can feel that I'm not forcing

it like like I would actually argue the

other way like I don't want to disappear

but if you told me that at 62 I woke up

sold off everything and took a five year

run of sitting in a cave in Peru mmm and

then came back at 67 I would say to you

like yeah I it's I can't I can never see

myself doing drugs yes I can never see

myself stealing money out of somebody's

wallet it's just impossible

it's not in my framework I can see

myself sitting a cave in Peru for five I

love hearing that I love hearing that

because well because I don't think

anybody would believe that about me

except people that get really really

really inside or look like you which is

disproportionally have intuitive

superpowers no I really liked when I was

18 if anyone ever told me that I had one

day live as a monk I would have lost

[ __ ] them and spam your face yeah so

we're not yeah exactly so when you said

that I was like I literally was I joined

social media in 2015

yeah and and it's like I wasn't I never

joined because I was a monk this is a

funny thing back to I apologize but this

will bring you to a lot of people uh

this is a game of best not first yeah

people always trying to be first on the

next platform people ask me what's the

next platform because they want to be

first they like I was slow to Instagram

in comparison to Twitter this is a game

about best and for me its longevity

it's longevity for me as well yeah it's

such a long game and and it's I think so

many people get this bad feedback too

and I've had a lot of friends here this

hey you realize you're gonna go to

3-year life that's right I've had so

many people hear that from people make

the reading decision from people that

have never lived it yes from people that

never lived it

hey like realize it's what happening by

the way real quick cuz the second time

it's come up if we get anything across

in this episode if you're like please

just pay attention to who's giving the

advice people say things to me all the

time like you've never built a business

Gary you should do this with Vayner mean

him like you're you're an inventor of

fruit like I'm not telling you what

fruits to marry mmm like like we have to

have a better conversation if you have

two parents that were entrepreneurs and

you want to aspire to be one of the

great professors of academia there you

got to be thoughtful that they're giving

you advice as entrepreneurs vice versa

many of us listening right now had

parents that grew up in the Industrial

Revolution and give a safe job and the

rise of unions and like and if you're

dying to be an entrepreneur because you

always sold lemonade and pencils and

this is the great year of

entrepreneurship and you want to do it

your parents advice has to be

contextualized yes they believe in

safety yes and that's what I mean by

that looking at things from a care angle

and a competence angle right like you're

gonna have people that they out like my

mom like my mom does not care what I'm

doing she cares about has her son slept

has her son eaten and has her son taking

care of his health yeah that's what my

mom cares behind she doesn't care about

any award she doesn't care about the

podcast she doesn't care and and that's

beautiful and I love that but I have to

take it for what it is that my mom cares

about my mental and physical well-being


right that's what she's an expert in yes

that's her expertise that's his own

that's what I should listen to her for

couldn't agree more

yeah I love that and that's what I'm

taking right actualize the advice and

otherwise we argue with them sometimes

you like mom you don't understand I'm

working so hard but it's like no like

take that like she can't wait you know

what you're talking about right now that

I've that has I just realized been

subconsciously on my mind another thing

I'm thinking a lot about which is like

and you start it's amazing you started

this podcast with it

for a lot of nobody is for everybody

right yeah nobody out there

sharing is right for every my old one

however most people that are resonating

with a large enough audience probably

have something to add to you mm-hmm

mm-hmm and that's something I've been

thinking about like how do we

what's the 13 percent of me that brings

value to somebody on the other side who

generally doesn't like me or like it

right now

what's the five percent value that

somebody can bring me that I don't see

value in right now it's not binary and

that might become a fun place to dig

deeper into yeah absolutely

no I think it is a fun thing and I say

no no no this is us being super polite

the thing that I've seen also is that

we're constantly in that space we take

pressure from the room we're in so if

you're in a room full of investors you

walk out and go crap I need to invest

right and you know in a room full of

dalai lama's you'll be like crap i need

to meditate right like that's my point

like answer you know what's funny about

that tell me about this Jake because

where I go in those scenarios is

actually the other way yeah but that's

red that's what I'm pointing out go on

no no nothing yeah because you were

talking I was like it's so weird when

I'm in a room of investors I'm selling

Dalai Lama yeah when I'm in a room

correct yes Lamas yeah I'm selling

investing so I get that yeah I get that

I talk them and that's actually the MIT

did an incredible study on this where

they looked at connected thinkers people

who are able to take advice from people

who didn't know each other so we're not

living in echo chambers so basically if

you wanted to launch something let's say

you wanted to launch a new app you would

take advice from Mark Zuckerberg and the

Dalai Lama because that'll be

fascinating for Humanity Lu I'll tell

you what's really interesting cuz you're

really getting me thinking here I one of

the things that is extremely at the tip

of my tongue is my ability to also take

advice from my friend Rob Meuse who's

you know lives in Atlanta or or a

nine-year-old kid who hasn't lived life

yet like I really really associate

actually more to the trenches yeah

than the experts yes you know dolly and

the socks yeah yeah

but for me it's like the user thank you

sir yeah brother yeah it's all I got

absolutely I actually struggle with

taking advice from mark my shortcoming

is not taking advice from the Dalai Lama

and sucks and taking Susan Kerensky's

hot take value different values like

it's it I said the same thing when

people are like how do you not run out

of things to say in your content because

I'm talking to people right like that's

my number on say yes I'm listening I'm

listening to just people I just read

comments man yes I read comment their

last ten times I've gone to your

Instagram I've read comments and didn't

watch what you put out yeah that's real

you wanna talk about weird [ __ ] that I'm

sure most people aren't thinking about

that's that's an insight there's a hot

take there's something you might want to

build on yeah absolutely

now a hundred percent and that's for me

it's like I'm having the conversation

with a random person who's had a breakup

I'm having a conversation with random

person who's trying to start a business

those random conversations or everything

are everything like that's the first

thing that I bring what did we get to

let's do a little bit of a weird speed

round okay anyways the final five we do

at the end of every round so this is a

this is a speed round you already pretty

cool what about what about final seven

what two things on the first part of the

page or second I don't feel like we're

gonna get to do this many more time so

yeah I wanna say that yes absolutely

would you know what the funny thing is

we went on to all of this stuff

organically without me even touching on

it love something I really love about

you thank you you're welcome

is I feel like I in the last year I've

realized why I like to Star Wars Star

Wars was the only sci-fi thing I follow

it as a kid uh and actually WWF

wrestling right these wrestling figures

these Star Wars things that are my room

and I finally hit it

they are very classic stories of good

versus bad you know I mean Star Wars is

just like super high level stalkers bad

hundreds in but there's something that

wrestling does and Star Wars does it I

can't believe I'm breaking this down

right now I just had my thought on this

wrestling has a very interesting thing

where somebody good can become a bad guy

and where somebody bad

become a good guy right yeah it's like I

don't know how many people follow rattle

of wrist like me Savage was my favorite

wrestler he was a bad guy when he came

in then he became a good guy right yeah

the dark side versus the force if you've

watched that series you know it's a very

fine line mmm you can feel like any

moment like right you've got the

established but like you kind of

understand the core subject matter Darth

Vader today it's right there right I

believe that you and I sit in the world

right now there's a lot of personalities

there's a lot of people talking about

good and I don't believe the majority

even we're actually good mm-hmm

yeah and I think you are thank you and

that's why I've always leaned in every

time you've reached out right yeah thank

you man do you see what I'm saying and

how do you think about it because it's

something I'm strong I don't want to see

struggling with because it's not true

I'm concerned that if some of the people

our society and really our genre

podcasters instagramers youtubers

personal brands authors speakers if we

aren't thoughtful about some people that

people are considering good but actually

they're not good they're selling things

for the sake of their own personal

financial growth that it's a dangerous

precedent hmm and I feel a sense of

responsibility as somebody who sees it

at the same token I'm I don't have the

bandwidth to do the investigative

reporting to cross the t's in eyes so

that I'm completely definitive so that I

can say [ __ ] you Karen Thompson yeah in

a world where everyone's like where the

[ __ ] did that come from isn't Karen

Thompson awesome and being right at the

end yeah now that I just spewed all that

what what are your random thoughts about

you know why that's so crazy because I

just had breakfast with someone that we

both know who I won't say on the podcast

I can tell you afterwards who was

telling me about just this it's so crazy

like literally I that wasn't even at the

front was she or he saying they were

saying that this exists you should be

wary of it what's your take on it like

literally they're like this exists and I

was like wow I did and they've done the

investigating work like they know and

they've gone deep into the research of

it and because I was like

I was rusev you know playing devil's

advocate was like okay look how bad is

it what is it you know because we're

optimistic and I want to I want to get

people to benefit out my take on it is

it's kind of like when companies started

doing CSR or environmental work because

they knew they had to write I can't

believe you that's where you took it

I'm unbelievably cynical yeah to

businesses with purpose yes because when

I lick because when I sit down with the

founder yeah I leave with you're a piece

of [ __ ] because you're using a cause to

create commerce totally and ice nine out

of ten I see that all the time it's in

our world brother yeah and and I think

that what i look at and i think this is

what you've done and this is what I

really saw is powerful and luckily the

people I spoke to my life always

emphasize this was community first right

it was always about community it was

always about family it was always about

people and I think that we need to be

careful and I do agree with you the

investigation is important because I

don't want to go out and start accusing

and making allegations because that's

not cool because I'm not even be good at

publicly [ __ ] on people who are

clearly 100% wrong yeah it's not my

natural state yeah so to do it without

the investigation early but it is happy

yeah interesting anyway that's how it

was curious about that because I do

think you're in the mind ironically in

the minority of pure good and I think

and that doesn't mean you don't build a

business snuff it doesn't mean you don't

get paid to speak or write a book or do

a ten-city tour of course there's just

differences yeah and and I think that

comes back to intention that's right it

starts there and ends there that's what

I mean look just to uncover a little bit

more just because it's being insightful

like I've actually done a couple things

in my career where I've gone on people's

platforms that I don't believe are good

too subdued like weirdly try to suck

them out yes I love it I'm so glad you

brought this up so every time I get

invited by a when a multi-level

marketing conference or an internet

marketing conference or whatever you

call online marketing conference I go

and I talk about this stuff so I'll go

on stage and they're expect me to talk

about social media strategy and how I

get views and all of this stuff and I'll

subtext my two stranglings uh I did not

build any of this to build a brand or a

business cuz I didn't I just made kornek

cuz I won that help and this is where

you and I are so fun as complements like

a tag team I go and start with do

not by anybody's products in the

backroom at this conference yeah and

everyone's like what the [ __ ] just


yeah and I'm like what happened is I

don't [ __ ] believe in the [ __ ]

yeah that's like I come and [ __ ] try

to like destroy yeah absolutely

conference I don't do on on like

interviews I'm trying to be subtle

because the person's interviewing you

yeah so I'm like how do I stay in this

why do I not get kicked out of this room

while winking to the audience of like

get the [ __ ] out of here Yeah right

though I've stopped doing that a little

bit because right now people are not

thoughtful enough so you get direct

attribution and I think that is a

vulnerability so I say no to a lot of

that Association and I think that's the

big message that's coming out here is

please dig deeper if you're listening or

watching whatever you're listening and

watching please dig a step deeper don't

be yeah be be thoughtful push beyond the

obvious just for example once I make a

decision like if I saw you on somebody's

podcast and I'm like oh that's a dirty


I would already assume that you're there

to do that same thing and I appreciate

that yeah we need to we need to yeah Oh

perfect timing is this an updated

version or you couldn't find it right

while there's dead air I just want to

say to everybody I love you I hope

everything is good one random thing like

it's been really working in my community

just call somebody you haven't talked to

in two years just literally go to your

phone right now context hit the letter C

the letter F you're gonna see somebody

from high school somebody that used to

date and you're over it now like just

literally call somebody call not text

call somebody and just say what's up I

hope everything's good and like that's

it like even if you hang up after that

like get you know like exercise like

eating getting into practice of optimism

and positivity and good matters so

randomly just call somebody and hit me

up on social let me know how it went

like but this is crazy I do this once in

a while in my world like people call

their father estranged father for 15

years their best friend that they just

both got busy and now they're like back

and their families are friend like this

it's crazy

anyway Jim yeah 200 episodes of the

words that were most common most common

verbs were no think go want make all

action and then when you looked at word

pairings like what words have you

combined together the most love and work

mean and well give and [ __ ] listen I

curse new new and world and play and

book interesting so yeah now top

emotions right yeah so if you go from

from top to bottom it's love laugh funny

appreciate respect passion scare inspire

and curious no to your point you

intuitively are able to interpret this

there's not a soul one more time and


yeah the emotions one more time yeah one

more time yeah emotions of love laugh


appreciate respect passion scare inspire

and curious if you if you if you pull a

million people that have ever heard of

me and Doug in a little bit nobody's

even gonna be room this is where I'm


mmm-hmm this is why I'm attracted to

people that are able to decipher it this

is how he Jim himself got his job here

trying to get a job separately in Vayner

X but I wanted him on my team this is

why I lean into you if one is

emotionally intelligent enough with

natural talent to have figured me out I

know they're an incredible partner

because I'm extremely difficult because

for all the people this thing right now

that kind of know me or have heard of me

or actually generally don't even love me

that much laugh love like that is not

that is not my love that is not what

happens with me when I go on stage or

when I'm recorded what comes out is

Macho Man Randy Savage promo videos what

comes out is Chris Rock and Eddie Murphy

what comes out as other things that

influenced me in the way that I

communicate when a camera is on me hmm

and you're still saying the same thing

it's just the way it's being said and

that that's yeah it's funny I don't know

if you guys saw it I've seen this at all

lately out of nowhere I've been for the

first time ever thoughtfully trying to

tone down my energy and my speed and

communicating not because of anything

else out of pure curiosity

back to what we were talking about

testing stuff it's been really

fascinating just a 10% off the pedal

it's just such a different thing in

watching the audience consume it

now I'm gonna still go 150 because it's

just where my natural thing is and again

when I go 140 I'm missing that person

who needs 147 who almost nobody else

right now can get to and unfortunately

the only people that can get to the

person that's at 147 are the bad guys

and gals yeah got it absolutely got it

that's I have come to realize my place

in this avengers role is I'm gonna have

to eat judgment from people I admire to

get through to people that are only

getting influenced by bad because the

other Goods don't have that one gear

that I have that cadence that style and

I'm willing to deal with the

ramifications to achieve the actual good

goal I love them man it's a great note I

love that I'm not gonna add anything to

that I love that that's awesome this has

been so much fun we got we're gonna do

the final five because I want to do it

the first question is I know which sucks

cuz that last sentence there would've

been such a great way you make it okay

yeah this is the which I love that you

brought up the Avengers cuz that's how I

look at life and I look at being a part

of the Avengers so which avenger are you

and why I've never watched Avengers no I

didn't know that was coming I don't know

wow I know who I think you know the

reason I you this is getting super

triple meta this is a very long podcast

I think yeah I love this I said it

earlier I may not watch J content but I

read J comments yeah interest I don't

I've not watched one Avengers film but I

know what people think about the

Avengers and I understand the framework

okay I love the Avengers so I know who

you were - oh yeah Robert Downey jr. I

am really yeah sounds cool cuz I know a

lot of you gets a lot of tape I'd say

it's probably ironically what are you

guys know you guys work with him yeah

okay anyone else

and they see the leader and now Spidey

can rub people up the wrong way

sometimes that's why I said like he has

that ability like say he will cast off

Captain America and they'll go off and

form their own tribe and then hate him

for a bit but then they come back in the

end you know it's that kind of you know

the ability to push people up push

people the wrong way sometimes so

spider-man's a new leader now

spider-man easy yeah that's what they're

setting up really I did but he's setting

it they're setting it up yeah with this

new film anyway nonetheless yeah anyway

so cool that we got there I'm sure I'm

glad that you agreed I want to hear what

you think Nick what do you think Ron

think about it think about it you tell

me next time I see you yeah think about

it okay second question you have a

videos titled the dumb stuff you buy

owns you yes which I love yes what is

the dumbest thing you've ever bought

great question because we've all bought

downstem I have my current apartment in

New York City

interesting it made me super not liquid

made me miss out on investing in uber

you know it's the dumbest in literal but

it established my family in a

neighborhood that I wanted to raise it

so it's obviously way better yeah but in

the second level you know probably the

dumbest thing that I've ever bought are

the things that I didn't buy right right

like a vacation that I should have taken

which would have been a fruitful Tut use

of time that's definitely it you know

but I'm trying to be a little bit better

in communicating regrets cuz I can't

focus on them so I wanna talk about them

because I don't want to make it seem

like I'm not human yeah I could have

done a lot more balance of leisure 14 to

30 because I worked every minute yeah I

wish and and when you start with I wish

that is regret I wish I had five to ten

more memories in my 20s with my high

school and college friends of going on

those trips that everybody does like

there's a very interesting clip of me

where you can really see a manifest

where I talk about like I'm not lucky

like a bunch of kids when I first

started blowing up from high school in

college would hit me up and I carry you

so lucky I was like [ __ ] I'm not

lucky yeah when you went to the Jersey

Shore every weekend I worked my ass off

it's not necessarily what I want to be

talking about right now and I'm trying

to get the temperature of society but

it's a very big truth yeah so I'm

see that yeah the dumbest things there's

dumbest thing I ever bought were the

things that I ended up not by loving

awesome question number three what's the

worst advice you're hearing out there

right now that you want people to be

more thoughtful about all of it because

it lacks self-awareness

it lacks pushing people into

self-awareness and it lacks context em

anything all advice right now is a

problem including all of mine big it's

why I'm trying to make them make it

about them there's a lot of bad advice

brother like if somebody watches me and

gets fired up to start a business and

they're schlemiel and can't do a

business they're going down a path of

depression yeah if if they're a if

they're a competitive ambitious person

but they also went to high society

education and right now the push there

is balance and like like hard work is

bad and we've become too much of Europe

current Europe I believe this by the way

like that's bad advice for somebody

because they're gonna be depressed

because they leaned to move into current

social you know political correctness

and what they actually are is a dog and

they just want to grind yeah but right

now grinding is bad

yeah I've seen all advice is bad if you

haven't deployed enough love for

yourself and self-awareness to

understand what to pick off great advice

question number four what's the one

thing you're most proud of

did I give more than I take I love it

and question number five which i think

is gonna give you an opportunity to to

end off how we just ended off the point

before the final five is you talk about

so much about the value of human life

yes and how rare it is amazing it is

which I don't know if you know this but

it's like such a deep Vedic concept

which is like thousand one so Vedic but

it's like the philosophy that I studied

it ok one of the oldest philosophies of

mankind and one of the biggest

principles in there is about the value

of human life like the the inflict the

way I think about four hundred trillion

correct correct it helps so many people

by the way out of all the pieces of

content I've ever put out something in

it has penetrated how does one get to

like you when you hear when I hear you

say it

when I look at the way I was taught it

when I look at the monks that I know

live it when I know people that really

lived that what was it that helped you

really extract and live that okay it's

my all I'm ever doing is trying to take

empathy gratitude kindness positivity

optimism and create repackaging for it

in modern society to help somebody see

it cuz life is one big game of

perspective and if you've been raised by

parents in an environment and have

natural DNA that makes you look at

something upside down I've got to flip

it and when I say I got to I have this

enormous love and need for admiration

that I've come to realize mmm admiration

will not come in the form of me making

the most money admiration will not come

in any other form than if I give so much

more to you than I expect from you in

return mmm I was gifted an ability of

the gift the gap I am creative I

understand attention graphs I have work

ethic I have aspirations all of that has

created one big game where I feel

responsibility to be able to get this

message out in a way that won't get to

people that can never become monks or

that won't become disproportionately

high educated philosophical I'm in the

trenches with my style but it's the same

[ __ ] product and so 400 trillion to

one was one way for me to get people to

be like do you [ __ ] there's nothing any

of us in this room will accomplish that

is even in the [ __ ] galaxy of that we

haven't a chance to do something yeah I

just don't understand what are you gonna

complain about today that is even

remotely close to never having the

ability to have a life look what what

are you gonna complain about like what's

so shitty in your life like you've got

the at-bat even if you're the worst

ranked person seven point seventh

billion in the world you're born to

slavery and genocide in a fifth world

country where you're raped every day

starved slaved lose your parents no love

the game of life actually still creates

the rare potential for you to break out

of that and go on to do something and

then bring positivity to the world

better than not being born at all I

believe that and so that love a man mic


thank you Gary thank you guys we all

knew that this was gonna be an

incredible podcast but that just blew

the roof off it was one of those it was

such a revelation and that's what I

loved about this podcast that it wasn't

a Q&A it wasn't a thought process of

Revelation I felt like you were

revealing things as you reflected and

introspected and more was brewing up can

I say one less thing might be funny

hearing you say that yeah what comes to

mind is this is historically what I've

done completely predicated on the

respect I have for the other individual

when i I've always been fascinated by a

lot of people early on in my career's

like you steamroll everybody and like

because I don't respect them or because

I know what they're gonna say and I just

have that ability to interrupt which I'm

trying to work on you know I revealed

and wanted to go deeper because I

respect you and more importantly your

audience so I enjoyed it yeah and my

admins are looking at me like crazy

because everyone's freaking out so let's

get out of here thank you