Effective Listening Skills

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It's a huge misconception that more talking equals better communication. Well

I'm here to tell you that effective listening is often exactly what you need

to become a better communicator. So we're going to talk about six tips to make you

a more effective listener.

Hello again friends. Welcome back. I'm Alex Lyon.

If we have not met yet, this channel is all about helping you,

a rising leader, become a more effective leader so that you can bring out the

best and all the people around you. And today we're going after effective

listening skills. I have another related video that I'll link to in the card

above or the description below about the barriers to effective listening. But in

this video, we're gonna take it a step further and look at ways to build up

your positive skills. And the bottom line for great listening is feedback. You as a

listener are trying to give whoever is speaking positive feedback that will

help them know that you are listening. And by doing that and making that your

focus, you will become a better listener. So the first tip is non verbal feedback.

Now when people are listening closely to you, they're doing things like making eye

contact. They're nodding and they're showing you through their facial

expression that they're paying attention to what you're saying. Now I'm not

suggesting that you necessarily fake this but if you take a genuine interest

in what they're doing you want to make sure you show it. Now the alternative is

and you've probably seen this people give you like a stone face. They have

this neutral or blank expression on their face and it doesn't really seem

like they're listening. It seems like they're judging you. So you want to be

aware of your facial expression and you want to give positive nonverbals that

show that you are listening to them. That's good feedback. the second tip is

verbal feedback and you want to keep this pretty compressed. So as the person

is talking at the right moment you say things like I hear you or I know where

you're coming from or that makes sense. Some kind of short verbal utterance that

shows them gives them feedback, that you are listening to then. It could be as

short as uh-huh yeah. Even that alone gives them a cue

that you are paying attention to what they are saying. Now the next tip is to

listen to the big picture. This is a huge effective listening tip because a lot of

times we get so caught up in the details, in fact, this is a barrier to effective

listening in the other video I mentioned, but you want to listen to the

big picture and that'll help you stay focused on what they're saying, not the

details so much. And if you're in a content or a work-related setting, you're

listening for the overall idea the big- picture idea and if you're in a social

situation talking to a friend and so forth you want to listen to the big-

picture emotion. So let's say they're frustrated or they're happy you want to

connect with that emotion and when you're listening to that big picture

emotion you're going to show them that you're interested and be much more

focused and tracking with what they are saying. The next tip is you want to stay

on them. and what I mean by stay on them is keep the conversation focused on them

as a person and also focus on their topic. So you might have an occasion to

jump in and say something. Be sure that you don't take over the conversation and

all the sudden make it about you and make it about the topic that you really

want to be talking about. that's not good listening. Now, that might be good talking,

but in this video we're working on good listening. So stay on them. The next tip

is when you do have the occasion to talk make sure that you're talking turn is

concise. So you want to say whatever you have to say and it's completely

appropriate while you're listening to chime in and add a sentence or two here

or there but make sure it's concise, like limited to about a sentence and then

bounce it back onto them. Ask a follow-up question. Probe into something

they just said so you give your opinion then you bounce it and ask them another

question. That'll help the conversation stay on them. It'll make you a more

effective listener. And the last tip is like the gold star bonus tip of the

whole video. Take action. A lot of times people miss out on this easy opportunity.

If you're in a professional setting you want to let the person know what you're

going to do about it. They shared some information,

say okay I'm gonna follow up. And then follow up with an email or send them

something that they asked for. And if you're in a social situation one of a

really classy move that shows that you care about the person is you follow up

with them the next time. So then the next time you touch base with them or see

them you say, hey say by the way whatever happened with a situation at work? Or how

did that work out with your dog? Is she's still sick?

You follow up. Maybe you follow up by sending them a text may be followed by

sending them an email or something on social media. But that follow up is

really what's gonna take your listening to the next level because that shows

them that you care. That's feedback that shows them you were in fact listening

and you get a lot of credit for that follow up. So those are six tips to more

effective listening skills. Question of the day. which one of these do you

struggle with the most and which one of these do you think you're naturally best

at? I would like to hear both sides of that coin and I look forward to reading

your comments in that section below. So thanks. God bless. And I will see you in

the next video.