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How To Stop Being A Nice Guy



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we've all heard of the expression nice

guys finish last

nice guys get friend-zoned nice guys put

in effort and the bad boy next door is

the one who gets results sometimes the

world of romance is a competition you

may want that one person but there are

also five other people with their eyes

on the same prize nobody bets on the

slowest horse at the race the nice guy

is like the slow horse you should aim to

be the fastest horse the most

unpredictable the riskiest bet with the

most to win now I'm not saying that all

guys I should just stop being the nice

guy this is for those who might want to

change up their tactics when approached

in the same crush or if your previous

tactics aren't working because you're

too Brotherly like but I'm not telling

you to become an a ho we don't need

those what you do need to do is to have

a bit of an edge an error of intrigue

that makes you less predictable and more

appealing there are many ways to go

about this and I'm gonna go over a few

tips on how to stop being a nice guy so

the biggest issue you've experienced

when you're too nice is that you're seen

as a Big Brother BFF and no one wants to

make out with their brother unless never

mind when you're interested in someone

the trajectory of your friendship is

decided early on if you're offering to

do her tons of favor while surrounding

her with emotional support and security

sometimes you could be tattooed

friendzone few people escape this zone

do you know how really it is to get rid

of I tattoo the first thing you're going

to want to keep in mind is your goal of

avoiding the friendzone during those

first interactions if this girl sees

that you give her all of the support of

a boyfriend without being her boyfriend

why would she want to advance your

relationship you're already giving this

fundamental support to her asking

nothing in return

she doesn't have to support you back or

become more intimate with you it's a

one-way street with one giver and one

taker and most of the time if you've

done this for years and the relationship

hasn't evolved you're most likely are in

the friendzone and you'll need to change

it up a little

consider toning down the level of

support and emotional care if she's not

reciprocating also be a nice guy

usually means you were born with the

romance gene many times nice and

romantic go hand in hand

your main instinct is to listen to her

which will make you receptive to things

that she will find cute

hearing her say oh is like music to your

ears but you don't want alls you aren't

a baby and she shouldn't be pinching

your cheeks you're going to need to

immediately limit your romantic side and

keep your hangouts neutral if you think

this is best done by group settings so

be it do whatever you have to do to stop

yourself from setting up that romantic

picnic lunch by the lake these types of

dates should be saved later on when they

start liking you you're letting all of

your aces out of your sleeves and your

date won't stick around to see any more

because you've already shown your

best-kept secrets have the cheap lunch

where each person pays for themselves go

walk around in park or grab a drink with

a group of friends if they want more

romance then it's time for them to step

it up and show you so now that you're

learning to remove some of the niceness

in your life when you're looking for a

partner what do you replace it with

great question you're going to have to

replace your softness with something

more firm now I know what you're

thinking it's not that the first thing

you can display especially to ensure

that your banner from the friend zone is

assertion girls like assertive guys

because assertive guys know what they

want and go for it

it's associated with ambition please

don't take this to mean that you must

become this all-controlling know-it-all

condescending guy you can be humble and

sort of at the same time if you like

someone make a statement about it early

on

don't let her doubt your romantic

interest in her she may be open to the

idea and now you can't move forward in

your friendship with it share notion of

a potential future romance on the flip

side this also means that if she isn't

into you she'll tell you without

sugarcoating it assertive guys seem

stronger than nice guy so she'll treat

you accordingly

don't worry though feelings can't evolve

and you don't have to lose hope forever

the important thing is that she knows

that you look at her with a clear vision

of romance and not just rose-colored

glasses that makes you look weird by

being more assertive your actions will

have

to follow your words you can't be

assertive with your intentions with her

and be a go-with-the-flow teddy bear and

all other aspects of your life you

should begin to do things with more

intention and focus a nice guy will put

a girl in the center of his world

without even asking if she wants to be

there while a typical girl would enjoy

being the apple of someone's eyes the

nice guy is ignoring the watermelon

strawberries and all of the other

delicious fruits off to the side and he

doesn't even get to eat the apple am i

giving enough analogies for you to see

it clearly focus on yourself and be a

little more selfish I'm not saying to

become a player or to treat the girl

badly you should always respect them

what I'm saying is to focus on your

wants and needs first when you have an

established girlfriend or partner then

you can move yourself down to second

place and put her first now that you're

showing yourself more love it's time to

get things done if your crush seems

interested in your assertive vibe for

affection put a plan into action take

her on a date as long as she knows it's

a date this isn't the same as your nice

guy surprise picnic this is you telling

her you're going to take her out for a

nice dinner at a set time and place on

your plans and terms girls appreciate a

guy who takes charge here in there you

aren't going to turn into dictator of

love lamb just put a small plan into

confident action if your crush doesn't

seem to jump into your loving embrace

just yet you can take action in your own

life pursue a hobby that you've always

liked or makes some out of the ordinary

plans with your friends this girl is

going to take note on how you act

independently so it's vital to pave your

own path and start walking on it another

reason that assertion and actions are so

important is because it shows that you

are organized and have things going on

you want to be so set on a time and date

if you didn't have other things on your

schedule you never want to be overly

available nice guys are always available

for their love interests they would drop

everything and anything to help that

grow with her most trivial situations

this loyalty is one-of-a-kind and very

ideal if you're dating were married

since you've just barely escaped of

friendzone you're going to have to make

it clear that you aren't someone to put

on speed

just yet women are smart complex

individual they like a challenge and can

rise to the occasion being a little hard

to get shows that your life doesn't

revolve around chasing this person there

are more fish in the sea and you aren't

about to swim across the ocean searching

for one nemo leave that to marlin but

let's say you were condemned to the

friend zone with this girl before you

saw this life-saving video this girl may

not feel too differently about your

assertion don't fret there is still hope

a true way to be less of a nice guy is

to expand your group of friends

specifically by adding more female

friends if your crush is a female let's

clarify here though I'm not telling you

to enter the friend zone of every female

you meet this will not make you sexier

to your initial crush but you can't make

female friends who likes to be flirty

lots of friends flirt in many social

circles while it doesn't mean that

you're committing to dating all of them

it does leave the door open for a future

romantic relationship if the car is

aligned by having these types of female

relationships you get a triple benefit

first you will show your crush that you

are more than just like brotherly BFF

two females and you aren't going to sit

around waiting for her forever as a

second benefit maybe you will find a

different girl who sees you with wedding

eyes who knows you might need someone

who is ten times better suited for you

and third you get to practice flirting

with people and get comfortable life is

all about learning and gaining

experiences if you can do that you'll

find a partner in no time and as you

start to get busier with your own life

friends and hobbies this next step may

become more naturally than you think -

stop being a nice guy you must slowly

show less interest do not go from 100 to

zero and leave this girl thinking you've

totally lost interest remember you're

showing less interest not no interest

for example there is no need to always

be the first person to initiate

conversation or to check in to see how

she's doing

communication works both ways while you

may have 100 compliments in mind to give

her the occasional one will suffice keep

some compliments in your bag for later

if they reciprocate shoot them right

back also distancing yourself

emotionally is another key to stop being

seen as the nice guy now don't lock up

your heart and throw away the key you

have feelings and this

be displayed too we should share them in

a space we feel comfortable accepted and

safe this is found in a secure and

stable relationship now by sharing

secrets with a girl who choose to you

like a diary

she used to vet you don't need to share

your biggest fear with a girl who looks

at you like you're hurt puppy stop with

the deep intense talks and replace it

with some general flirting it may sound

weird but all you're doing is taking the

rain and reminding this girl of what you

two are friends with chemistry she's got

to pass the first flirty steps before

getting the boyfriend treasure box of

emotional connection overall an

important thing to take away from all of

this

is that it's not a bad thing to be nice

it's nice to be nice but being a nice

person doesn't mean that you have to be

known as the nice guy independence

confidence and an era of charm aren't

key things that can push you over the

friendzone wall and into some loving

arms then once you're there you can go

back to letting out that overflowing

river of affection that nice guys

usually give so if being nice didn't

plan our efforts maybe consider taking a

few steps back and changing up your

tactics but do let me know how it goes

and give this a like if you found this

helpful

but until then I'll catch y'all later

bye