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HOW DO YOU CONFRONT SOMEONE WHO HAS HURT YOU? | The #AskNick Show Ep. 25



Sharing buttons:

oh okay

okay check it over simple

okay how do you confront someone who

hurts you

Oh

this this happens a lot during my

question of course people come in

because in their stores they will share

how someone has hurt them whether it's

mommy daddy your partner your friend

yourself someone wronged you

they crossed you in a different way and

you're hurt and you want to confront

them for me before clients confront

anyone I need to make sure they

understand what's really at stake if you

want to confront someone the classic

mistake that always happens is people

will take some time they'll figure out

okay how am I hurt what are my feelings

and then you'll go to that person and

you'll tell them this is what you did to

me this is how you hurt me I can't

believe it I thought we were friends I

thought you had my back and I'm so

disappointed okay cool and another

person shares their view it doesn't

agree with yours and you're legit I'm

ended how dare this person not validate

my feelings where we're not even friends

I knew it I knew it they're not my real

friends and there you go you just set

yourself up instead what I want to

present to you is a different

alternative this alternative is

to make sure you understand your

intention and what you're needing if

someone has hurt you if you're needing

an apology you want to confront maybe

mommy and daddy who who weren't there

for you my advice is don't do it

understanding what you're needing first

if you are needing to hear yourself as a

mature adult tell them that you know

what you hurt me but I made it

okay couldn't say that if your intention

is to tell them how it impacted you

negatively then share that if you want

to share your experience that share that

if that's your intention if you want to

just hear yourself confronting a bully

so you can experience and witness

yourself have encouraged cool good

intentions do that too but I find the

mistake that people make is they'll

confront someone and expect them to

validate your feelings whether or not

they probably they know they even hurt

you that incident that you've been

holding on for thirty years they forgot

about it let's keep it real

they moved on we're not not significant

to them

I don't know how to say it but if you

are wanting to confront someone who's

cheating on you and hurted you and

wanting an apology and you don't get it

you're going to be disappointed that's

just the reality of it so if that is

your intention to get someone to

validate you no sorry

that could happen that might not happen

but for me what is most healing and most

important is again checking with your

intention what do you need and then take

some time to write it out take some time

to reflect on how it impacted me and

what in this present moment what I need

for myself are my own healing and then

meet with them share it cool and that's

it

and if they don't apologize they don't

apologize I wasn't even looking for that

and if they do cool it thank you that

means a lot to me if they don't validate

your feelings they see it completely

different okay that's fine sue that's

your experience but at least when I show

up I'm proud of myself I did my part I

kept my side of the street clean and I

said it all the time

when you go to bed at night you can feel

proud of yourself you honor yourself and

today you did not betray yourself this

to me is a sign of maturity your spirit

needs that for yourself show up

authentically do not give someone the

power to impact you like them to wait

for an apology to get a validation to

hear or a fee your perspective to

understand you you're fighting a lost

battle and I won't recommend that you

can try you've done it before do it

again keep it going but don't be

surprised but I'm just simply sharing it

because for my client I always go back

to the individual what you're needing

and how to honor you

that's the most important in myopia so

try it out

good luck comment below and let me know

your thumb figure

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