How to Life on Wikihow with Fredrik Knudsen - Episode 2

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what you've always wanted you wanted to

be in a co stream with a mediocre twitch

personality on a mediocre twitch channel

this is your highest aspiration a

content creator content creator I was

looking in the comments for the podcast

the the semen ology podcast and somebody

with somebody said this guy says content

creator like a like a dad like a boomer

says rock-and-roll music or something

like that and it's like Hawkeye I always

go back to the Simpsons bit with Lovejoy

saying rock and/or roll good [ __ ]

because I don't think it's like

hoity-toity you know I don't look at it

like that I just um

I just do what I do I don't although I

prefer that over like they don't call me

a youtuber like I don't know like I hate

I hate being called a youtuber as well a

lot of negative connotations attached to

that huh negative connotations but also

like it's not terribly descriptive it's

like saying I am a music maker like all

right now it now let's take a step back

what the [ __ ] does that mean you could

be making like whitey pees you could be

ifs calling somebody a youtuber is

anything what would you like to be

preferred what would play what would you

prefer to be called above all else like

what's the word you think a [ __ ] like

when you get out there just in general

like in general no no not not [ __ ] as

in like boo boo I'm on the bottom daddy

[ __ ] as in like that [ __ ]

all right all he's a [ __ ] oh he's a

little [ __ ] how about documentarian do

you like that pupil like here's the

problem right but when you say

documentarian like it's it's what I call

myself to like boomers right right what

I do like to family Yeah right what I do

it's like well I'm like you know what do

you do I'm a documentarian mm-hmm it's

just but like you know when you say

documentarian to one of these people

they're like oh so like nature

right oh and all my goodness I love Ken

Burns I love

it's like Paul fo da calling himself an

author without being more descriptive or

a descriptive yeah yeah Pfotenhauer

frozen how vote vote here yeah I didn't

[ __ ] can't remember this guy's name

it's okay it's okay I don't blame you

yeah I'm okay it's dreamer and so cuz

cuz again like YouTube isn't my main

thing never has been you know so I guess

but it's a content creator it's like a

catch is both in there right but that's

the problem right is content creator

means literally nothing it's the same

it's alright it's similar to I could be

making content for not online well I

don't think you'd use it for that

alright would you call it commentator

like somebody like a graffiti artist

like a street artist no I don't think so

yeah exactly

it's like you want reate content but I

mean that's it's tech modeling right

like video but like what kind I feel

like doing a reaction channel is

fundamentally different from like what I

do right but both of us will be lumped

under the title content create with with

with that [ __ ] yeah I just come to

prefer the catch-all of professional

internet [ __ ] because that's really

that's great that's a very specific

descriptor because all I really do is I

just you know go live and act like an

[ __ ] like we're about to do right now

ya know we are about to all IQ is coming

guys this is Fred Knudsen if you didn't

figure that out already and just like

last time fred has brought some some be

funneling wikiHow articles for us to

look at Fred if you don't know he's he's

a content creator on YouTube and he

makes really cool documentaries that's

there's nothing else to call them down

the rabbit hall it's cool channel check

it out if you haven't done so he likes

to look at weird [ __ ] on the internet

you guys obviously know that I like to

look at weird [ __ ] on the internet so

obviously Fred and I have a crossover of

interests here

I see a couple people something that I

want to thank real quick if you'll bear

with me Fred I see a tie is really gay

180 digi true-blue review feel bad kurta

family you'll notice I turned off the

hype train so apologies to anybody who

was looking forward to complaining about

that tonight

okay what is the hype Traci I still

haven't figured it the [ __ ] out dude all

I know is he just puts bright purple in

everybody's eyes and they were really

unhappy about it okay um

indie film productions wants to know in

the next episode of the Warrens is know

we're recording it this weekend with yes

we don't know when it's gonna be

published though so yeah but we have it

the next one is going to take quite a

bit more editing I think is that

probably and and Mike's the one who

edits it and like Mike does so much

streaming but it's like oh I got to work

it in but there are good there's gonna

be a video element to this one even

though yes it is an audio medium I think

it's the type of thing where if you if

you can watch it cool but you don't need

to because we're pretty much going to be

describing what's happening in the video

anyway so yeah whatever but we felt like

for people who did have access to the

video this was going to be better than

them going and hunting down each

individual video that we're looking at

we are looking at a lot of videos in

this episode so yes let me also go over

a lot of videos we spent a lot of time

on this one guys velocity wrapped up

rail bed Turner baby thank you for two

months support Jen good job on finishing

the midterms also I liked your art last

last night you had left before I could

get to it so I wanted to tell you it was

it was cool um also HP alpha pre out

print heard of fami no I have no

interest in customizing the channel

points I don't care about it okay um

Fred do you want to look at the first

article that we have here today yeah


what's the quiet I I want to go about

this in a very precise way this time

this time I want to start

pretty like oh wow this is kind of sad

and then just like take a nosedive

eventually you want to slowly wade into

the filth in a measured fashion you want

to just gradually work your way into the


rosco frail kurta family thank you um

you want to dive in yup alright so our

first wikiHow is bump huddle

ooh how to cuddle now you think that'd

be something that just comes naturally

to people but like most things on this

godforsaken website the tips I'm

surprised some people needed a thesis on

how to cuddle they have to study on it

this is what bothers me about this kind

of article right this is teaching you

how to do something that ideally should

come naturally right like the like

cuddling someone is something that you

want to do and so you do it on impulse

you know what I mean if they in the

moment it it has it has all the romantic

emotion of 275 year-olds who fell out of

love 40 years ago saying oh it's 4

o'clock time to cuddle you think that

goes on in the world absolutely

it's like these are people trying to

convince themselves that they still love

each other but like but this is this is

different right it's I'm saying that it

has a similar romantic quality this is

these are people that are I sort of pity

them because they're so self-conscious

that they can't even relax enough to ask

themselves how would I like to cuddle

with someone they can't just let things

happen naturally everything needs to be

calculated premeditated and it's yeah I

could see why you'd feel you'd use the

word pity because it because it's like I

mean you gotta let let these things

happen and just let yourself relax and

and I I don't know it's it's this is

it's a thing that should never be

thought about it should just okay you

know what that there's that there is a

caveat that I want to mention I

there was pronounced calc avi is it is

it caveat caveat its cavi you savage you

have a view you're definitely pronounced

something like as where's if they love

coin we can school you in something

right there's a there's a caveat that I

want to give for this right if there are

certainly partners that say gosh you're

terrible at cuddling if you are with

someone that is so anal retentive about

I hate that phrase right that is so

persnickety about the way that you have

said they're not willing to tell you

like oh you know that this is a little

bit uncomfortable shift instead they go

wow you're bad at cuddling [ __ ] off get

a new partner maybe like leave them it's

better to be single than to be with

someone like that you are so bad

cuddling you need a wiki how article

here's a link they at that point you you

tell that person [ __ ] off

I have heard that because there is it

there is a school of thought and I don't

know how many people are in this camp

globally but you know there are people

out there who just outright hate

cuddling like I've run into this a few

times in my life like the mentalities if

you like coddling you must really hate

your arms you know code there there are

there are absolutely ways to cuddle that

are perfectly comfortable right because

they in their mind it's like well this

is just a way to not be comfortable and

like you know make one of your arms fall

asleep or make one of your legs fall

asleep and get sweaty and gross and and

all that and it's like you move you

don't you don't it's not like you're

trying to be statues no you you [ __ ]

move it's like are you hugging a little


alright let's shift around that's it

cuddling as serene as it is is a kinetic

activity there's movement you move how

do you actually how do you how do you

feel about it like are you a cuddler you

don't have to share that if that's if

that's private yeah your heels are good

your cousins are quality yeah you're

going for quality Cotto it can't just be

with anyone

like it's it's gotta be like someone

with whom I'm comfortable and you know

if they if they stink then no it's gross

you probably not gonna cuddle with

somebody like you met at a glory hole

for example

I'm not going to yeah I'm not going to

cuddle with like mister blanket he seems

like he'd be he'd be good at it though

no blanket please attend to learn he's a

tender lover he's a persnickety tender

lover I love that word persnickety

snippets and A Series of Unfortunate

cuddles I want to say thank you to

purple kins thank you for asking but I

cuddle with my cred yes yes I would

cuddle with Mike all right well yeah I

hope you're cool with like boners cuz

you know I can't do anything about that

oh no [ __ ] like jam it right into my

pelvis geez like right into my side it's

gonna dig it right in it's gonna be like

we were saying before a rigid cuddle you

know it's a rigid see that's the thing

too I feel like for some people it's

like what you know because you get it I

think boners are gonna happen during

during a cuddle session but a boner like

get jabbed into your lower back probably

is like probably not comfortable right

probably I interrupt the flow of the

koto but then there's like really

nothing that you could do about it

maybe they saw him you move again you

think there'd be a mu a move there there

would be a movement there'd be a shift

ooh persnickety um sounds like it could

be a candy bar I'm sorry I'm still on

Roscoe yeah Roscoe saying that's hot

yeah I mean like yeah if it's your it's

your partner that you're cuddling which

is probably the vast majority of cuddles

that occur like yeah that's probably

chill well see that's a little boner

coddling usually well sometimes can lead

to sex or it could be a thing after sex

right it's it's kind of it could be

considered foreplay

but like a more you know like a more

tender kind of a foreplay right

sure are we just doing like the wiki

house job for it right now by talking

about all right yeah we're based like

you know what I feel like we've both got

a pretty decent handle on how to cuddle

why don't we see what wikiHow says yeah

let's see if we got any misconceptions

about this maybe we're doing wrong and

we don't you guys working we are here to

learn this is an educational broadcast

you want it you might read you want to

read the first paragraph there you want

to take it yeah sure I'll take it

cuddling is one of the best means of

physical affection it Garner's closeness

shows affection and increases happiness

Christ it sounds like they're talking

about elephants in a zoo

cuddling releases a hormone cut they are

it is cuddling releases a hormone called

oxytocin which reduces stress and

anxiety meaning that it increases your

mental well-being as well if you strayed

away from cuddling or aren't sure what

the best moves to use are worry no more

so you uh dling is easy and fun with a

little know-how you know what that

suggests to me that it's possibly if if

true scientifically it's possible for a

person to become addicted to cuddling

and then end up and within withdrawals

if they don't have a cuddle you know

like hey man let me give one little

cuddle broach one little boner free

cuddle bro just people get addicted to

his little affection just just cuddle me

behind his dumpster in Sally bro a

little cuddle five seconds just one

tender little little lookee come on bro

oh [ __ ] it's like in Game of Thrones

where the eunuchs were visiting the

street women not to sleep with them

because they didn't have junk but

because they wanted physical affection

yeah that was sad actually and I said

really that was like such a tender

little thing and like angular and it

kind of like made me mad - because it's

like these [ __ ] these people like

they did that's not right you know

obviously that that's not right you know

forced [ __ ] castration but don't

forget there was a like a major and this

is in the in the books too - I think

it's to a lesser extent but so far

because don't forget he's only up to

book five but grey worm and missandei

have a pretty significant like romance

subplot and

you know they can't you know they can't

bang so I drew bells to their yeah it's

just wasn't about about the [ __ ] and it

was it was probably think in the show

was one of the more like interesting

like romance angles I mean it ended like

[ __ ] but you know what didn't in that

show nothing's ended uh starting I

thought I thought it was just like I

thought it was basically a giant frayed

rope with how many loose ends were just

left in it they kind of just bailed out

and like the parachute broke and it was

a [ __ ] disaster and they are not

gonna get to do those showrunners are

not gonna get to do Star Wars they

wanted to finish it so they could get on

with their careers so they rushed it and

botched it and now nobody wants to hire

them it's it's quite poetic actually

yeah um starting to cuddle yes let's get

going alright so we have three methods


you want it you want to take it you can

job Archer sure we have three methods

I'll take um actually why don't you take

method one I'll take method two you take

method three all right start slow maybe

your partner has been clear that they

want to cuddle or maybe you're taking

the initiative to start you're snuggling

well hold on snuggling coddling or

aren't the same thing they are now we're

learning a thought of snow a snuggle was

was different from a cuddle maybe are

you questioning wikiHow you're right

you're right I'm sorry this is this is

basically like looking God in the face

of court and saying he's wrong regress

was updated two days ago

oh my god to see people need their

coddling knowledge this ending is not

only not only are they always correct

but they're always current you're going

to look wikiHow in the face and tell

them that they're wrong the latest

greatest cuddling technology information

best practices don't jump into cuddling

they are probably be awkward if you just

like lapped on top of the person I don't

think that's a good way to initiate a


literally don't jump on them no matter

how impatient you are place a hand on

their shoulder back or on their waist to

show your intense rest it there for a

few minutes or give a light rub again I

cannot help but [ __ ] it keeps popping

into my head how just don't think about

it it's just just just let this happen

these are just things that cannot be

premeditated they cannot be like he's

got the notes scribbled on his hand

like he's looking at his palm he's got

the transcription from the wikiHow

article written on the inside of his

hand and then him sweating a lot so it

started to run and he was like oh god oh

[ __ ] I think he said III think it said

to jump on her and then you know rub her

face really hard I'm gonna I'm just

gonna wing it and game that's what I

think it said look at this mutt Mike I

have a view you watch next generation

right yeah my memory I've watched all of

it I'm pretty sure but my memory of it

is pretty spotty okay well here do you

remember the episode where data got a

girlfriend it's like first season no

that's not the learn oh you're thinking

of Tasha Yar when mike says definitely

boned in like the first episode that's

my look but what the means different

comes from where he says he's fully

functional right yes but no this is what

I'm talking about is different the one

where like a girl decides that she like

has a crush on data and so data makes a

subroutine for like dating and affection

and he adjusts it as time goes on and

sometimes like sometimes it's really

sweet like how how much he's trying and

how much he wants to make her happy but

other times it's it's like he's

constructing a wikiHow article I think

maybe these articles are meant for

Androids these are just all written as

if like date data is the reader like

these are all written to appeal to data

yeah pretty well there's like this is

the kinda like know that this is like

you know when data [ __ ] up and is like

oh I

you know he's trying to emulate human

emotions but really the best thing he

could do is just be himself but he's

like trying too hard man that's what

this is Fred it is data in himself oh no

he'll because data because data tries

but then everyone loves him because in

the end he ends up being himself anyways

and everyone encourages him to just be

himself yeah yeah even though those life

can be like you know stiff and awkward

it actually come it's it's charming in a

way it's endearing yeah yeah yeah - it

continued I'm sorry sorry Dyke see I

could see that - I could see it both

ways because look at some of the

articles we looked at last time like

that was like a day - subroutine you

know remember like remember that [ __ ]

yeah give them their jacket if she you

think she might be called like dude it's

give me the job that's the maddening

thing right is and basically every time

data tries to do this thing everyone's

like just don't worry about it so much

right that's basically what we're doing

like the last time which is this is

gonna be very different by the way this

is sort of a callback to the first

stream most of this is going to be very

very different Mike doesn't know all of

what I've gotten more for him no he

knows very little about Barkley you

think Barclays in and so Barkley is much

more in so yeah yeah right like I could

see that that'd be like the runner up

I'm gonna stop thinking about star star

trick this is the problem right like I I

want to talk about Star Trek for enemies

anyway I wanted to do the same way I

want to talk about dune forever cuz dune

is amazing what were you saying about

doing the other night that you were

talking your brother about it yeah but

the other night I basically recounted

the entirety of like the dude the first

let the lure of the first three dune

books and then some beyond and and that

is intensely complicated and convoluted

what you just took those three books

like that there's a lot of [ __ ] in there

man and you said he reared her retained

all the information

yeah III mean invited me I read I read

the for I read the first book in like

sixth grade I don't remember when I read

like I read the rest throughout like

middle in high school so there's gonna

be a new dune movie right mmm I'm

crossed every party tried yes and I'm

worried Sofia I'm worried about it all

adaptations have fallen short right but

now is the perfect time right because

the thing that I keep telling people is

that dune is basically Game of Thrones

but like space like Game of Thrones

takes so much from dune like some of it

is so like copy paste that it's painful

like Game of Thrones has like badass

little girl who can like kill people

incredibly easily named Arya dune has

badass little girl who can kill people

incredibly easily named alia you know

you know I forgot about that that's

right it's just copy paste except Ollie

is like way more [ __ ] up I always

wanna portray these kids or the letõs no

that was fall sister his sister that was

Paul's sister but but that doesn't

happen till the second book though

happens in the first book um it's at all

the harkonnens

the harkonnens along with the Emperor's

forces storm Arrakeen and force out like

basically they're getting rid of House

Atreides yeah I remember oh and his

mother or for every mother then pulls

like they go into the Fremen and they

make friends with them and the so the

Fremen feed pulls mother this special

kind of spite like really calms like the

heart spicy I remember that yeah the

juice called the water of life they

basically load her up with it boy oh

because that yeah they didn't realize

she's preggers she's preggers soon the

water of life while you are pregnant the

child becomes conscious in the womb

right right right right

like the fetus becomes convey area and

you and you get a birth to an

abomination it's called an abomination

yeah but she came out and she was like

all like like scary and and like

incredibly smart and can see the future

and all that [ __ ] right yeah and was

just this terrifying like little little

menace to society and everything well

she was fine she was fine at first the

problem with abomination is that she's a

[ __ ] fetus yeah yeah here's a funky

fetus and abominations have the memories

of all of their ancestors ancestors are

distinct like consciousnesses yeah

within that more number than bees cause

everything trying to take over the body

and that's sort and one of her relatives

is the Baron Harkonnen so even though

he's dead every of the Baron Harkonnen

comes in and he's like just get just

like give some control to me just give

me a little crime to mind that I will

make all the voices go yeah it's it's

[ __ ] absolutely mental but it doesn't

have because they kill him eventually no

he's dead by the end of the first by the

end of the first right I'll and that's

the thing Auliya kills him yeah that's

me so there's actually there's actually

one little bit there at the beginning of

the book they have the trial with the

box you remember the pain box right the

odds the gommage abort

yeah the gum Jabbar she was like she

puts it up to Paul's neck and says this

only kills animals and what does alia

killed the Baron Harkonnen win but she

had water on her finger right I think

she was hired to get a finger yeah yeah

it's a poison yes you know I didn't

basically he's like oh it only kills

animals and then all these is it

symbolic it's symbolic because she's not

only is she killing the Baron Harkonnen

but she's calling him an animal I did

enjoy his dead scene in the movie where

he like flew around the room and [ __ ]

like the fizzy lifting drink like he was

getting deflated I hate how he gets [ __ ]

yeah he's all cross he gets portrayed be

in David Lynch's film that's the one I'm

talking like right yeah yeah he's a

decadent right yes also incredibly

intelligent like he speaks in rhyme he

speaks in verse sometimes they made him

a dumb ass a lot where they made him an

elegant led just like yeah they made him

this disc

sting pus-filled man yeah yeah he was

grotesque like I do just really wanted

to ham up like these are the bad guys

but they went too hard I don't think we

should even just like continue the

coddling thing because we're just

enjoying talking about do we have to

okay I spent like no I I told you I

spent like two hours relating this whole

background of doom to Cory like a white

like just a few nights ago anyway I

loved anyway

anyway alright listen let's get back to

cuddling hey I was just had a vivid

image of like cuddling with the Baron


from the Lynch movie and I didn't like

it I didn't like it quarries are is

French for my brother yeah my brother

who we did Lee up we played pulsar

remember he was on the stream he joined

and then you all probably know his wife

actually Elise Elise was the one who

helped me with the Christian like

criticism stream and she gave some

really great like criticism and help for

artists is the Newt no we're not talking

about doing any more all right I'm gonna

go okay well the one little bit more

what were you gonna ask the joke the new

movie is not them trying to make the

Jodorowsky's dune movie right I don't

think so it's not right it has nothing

to do with that cuz I feel like people

were saying that they shouldn't they

should have done that like why didn't

they try to do that what was the

reasoning the reasoning of not sure of

not trying that because apparently this

script was the most justice screenplay

ever to this I don't know I honestly I

honestly have no idea all right make

sure your intentions for coddling or

clear you can place your hands on their

shahe lewd but that doesn't necessarily

love them you want to cuddle with the

person caress their arm instead to make

sure they understand what you were

leading to remember that cuddling is

often a standalone activity and doesn't

necessarily translate into foreplay see

does it necessarily but can start slow

and work till you're comfortable not

with the intention of progressing things

past the cuddle stage right so you're

not supposed to use cuddling as foreplay

it's like it's nice if

something happens as a result of the

coddling they're saying but don't like

you know use it as a means to an end

here right is what they're saying yeah

that they're pre-empting it which I

appreciate it's not an afterthought like

foti being like oh this this drink is

good to hide the jizz but right do that

because right it seems a little bit more

honest I'm enjoying number 2 where it

says be aware of environmental factors

and there's just a picture of the beach

and you know immediately that they're

talking about sand in your [ __ ] like

instantly like cuddling on sand hmm the

way they're describing it like it sounds

like they're giving me a tutorial for

divinity original sin I don't know what

that is oh it's an RPG game where like

whatever is on the ground it matters a

whole [ __ ] lot okay don't cuddle with

the shark yeah all right so cuddling on

a couch maybe but I mean now sometimes

the you know couches can be pretty

uncomfortable I think if you if you know

you're gonna call I think the bed

obviously is the Primo the Primeau

now Mike what we're not here to give our

advice we are here to relate the

infinite wisdom of wikiHow news all

right you want to take number two I

wanted to let you have the entirety of

method one Mike tell us more about

method one but I finished it so you've

done the basics and are ready to proceed

into real cuddling before you make the

transition though keep in mind important

environmental factors is it hot out

because you might have to limit the

amount of physical contact you have in

order to avoid turning into a swamp


honey I really want to cuddle with you

but your swamp ass is off the charts

swamp date you think Shrek and Fiona

cuddle in the swamp you think they do

cuddle in some ogre cuddling uh

absolutely no like all of that blubber

is like perfect all the layers the

layers are perfect its cuddly it's a

very comfy cuddle right you got all

those those layers of ogre and yeah

although although my experience is less

about the padding and more about how the

two people fit together but now we're

getting into actual advisors see that's

your that's yeah you're getting it

that's yeah we got it bring it back into

wikiHow even though I did want to like I

know exactly what you're talking about

and I wanted to expand on that book okay

isn't that that goes into spooning which

isn't cuddling but let's not are you on

a couch or a bed or something else

entirely the amount of space you have to

sprawl will change the cuddling

positions you could perform are you on a

couch or on a bed what else could you be

on yeah maybe on the beach just keep

being aware of environmental factors is

there sand that could get into bodily

orifices and say sand is just really not

comfortable at all are you trying to

cuddle in the middle of the open ocean

that's not gonna work either are you

trying to cuddle in the cooling tower of

a nuclear plant environment paymasters

hey man if I can curb urban exploration

that that's a great thing to have in

common with someone so you're gonna

cuddle and you don't have to do in some

Park or on top of a you know a [ __ ]

manufacturing facility packing plant or

some [ __ ] or you on a couch or a bet I

think you want to be on a bed I don't

think you want to be on a couch I don't

find for cuddling where do you it says

or something else entirely right so what

what the [ __ ] else is there well this on

you too you know what they don't oh we

have a footnote cuddling in the swamp

but look we have a footnote you ever

just cuddle with somebody you turn into

a swamp monster you just start turning


yeah there's reverence [ __ ] the

reference so that this footnote the

reference is GQ comm slash news -

politics slash men's lives slash numbers

slash how to cuddle with a woman after

sex August 2013 these are supposed to be

I mean listen our reference is a

reference right

it doesn't matter be a good reference

necessarily yeah as long as it didn't

come from you then it's a reference

right yeah the sex was good but you need

to learn how to sleep with me as it

maybe there's something valuable in this

article I I don't know but we're here

for wikiHow yeah you saw that how did

how to do sex good I think it was meant

to be a joke to be fair the author of

the article was Captain death spoon did

I see that right please seriously yeah a

captain's death spoon take us into step

three the amount of space you have to

sprawl will change the cuddling

positions you can perform what's your

favorite cuddling position Fred you like

reverse cowgirl what do you like uh

whichever one suits the moment reverse

cowgirl reverse cuddle get comfortable

you're about to be held down in a hug

for quite some time

well like you can't escape so make sure

that you're comfortable first if you

plan on doing some long-term cuddling

during a movie or before bed change into

comfortable clothes or grab a cozy

blanket although you might be resting on

the other person having a pillow present

might be a good idea to long-term

cuddling we're in it for the long haul

look at the phrasing you're about to be

held down yes this is someone who like

can just barely like stomach cuddling

you seen his facial hair guys I know

yeah I saw that

well if you really want a car like yes I


I don't really like being held down and

a hug I'm a free bird and I've been

given with if you're getting with me

you're getting with the chin strap too

and this bird you cannot change when

played with your brick you put your

bread he does look like Abe Lincoln T

the hero yeah look at that

four score and seven cuddles ago do a

little rubbing Oh Mike it know that do a

little rubbing the PG kind rub your

partner's back legs or arms in a

sensitive and endearing fashion again

you've gotta be in a sense just just

like [ __ ] do it this may or may not

be the same as light massage the go so

don't just you know start stepping on

her [ __ ] shoulder blades you know or

like deep knuckle in her lower back

we're like ramming your elbow into her

spine deep just you ran your boner in

between her butt cheeks a deep tissue

cuddle I'll Ram it okay don't don't get

two boners um and cuddling I think don't

go together

unfortunately it's a gift you know you

got it like maybe take care of the boner

you know I'm saying that's why I think

maybe coddling is it's really good for

after right because you know the boner

is removed from the equation all the

boners are removed from the equation

right because listen the edge the boner

jabbing you is not conducive to a

quality cuddle that's what I think it

can get in the way again we're giving

good advice again I feel like we did

that a lot on him anymore

[ __ ] that we started stay on topic here

we're giving we're giving people wikiHow

the goal here is to make the other

person comfortable and interested in

further cuddling with you because it as

good for you as it was for me when you

have transitioned into true cuddling

it's like Nirvana you may choose to

continue the light rubbing to prolong


positive feelings you both get from it

got to get that oxytocin fix man gotta

get you fix me when you have

transitioned it a true cuddling do you

may find that your flesh has fused and

you can feel sensations that you

otherwise shouldn't be able to feel from

the nerve endings of your cuddle partner


some [ __ ] Cronenberg [ __ ] man yes

sweetie when you cuddle with somebody

long enough where you [ __ ] merge

bodies and become a [ __ ] god-awful

like John Carpenter's thing or whatever

then you know you you know you found

your soul mate okay

the murdered - yeah method - are you

ready to learn how to cuddle like a

professional like this [ __ ] dumb show

me show me how to be a professional

cuddler hit me number one go with the

classic and spoon with links to another

article be like so spooning is a

sub-genre of cuddling is what I'm not I

guess that's what we're learning here

can you just look at the art for a

second her face is like I'm gonna stab

him in his sleep yeah she's like so I

could stab him at the chest

yeah she's like the moment I demo but I

feel his boner between my butt cheeks

I'm squeezing and twisting but were we

talking about how to destroy his dick

that article yeah I love that article I

see one wrap his dick and twist it

he's be the old dick twist it's it's

such a good art obviously it's a joke

article but it's brilliant

so come so yes so why don't you get into

the spoon

the most traditional of all cuddling

positions spooning is popular for a

reason it's great spooning consists of a

big & Little's it's like kick cereal

right is that the thing would kick

cereal no it's trusted fights right how

many people want to cuddle with Tony the

Tiger I regret asking that oh that is a

terrible question southern fire free

back go to frame be good to see you

thank you for seven months thank you and

I'm sorry I interrupted you god you're

good spoonie consists of a big and

little spoon we're both partners lay on

their sides tucked into each other the

big spoon is the one on the back and

often drapes their arm over the torso of

the little spoon be aware of your heads

because your heads aren't nearly even

with each other it is best to stagger

them a bit the big spoon can rest their

head on the shoulder of the little spoon

or prop it up on an arm why is this

assuming they're the same height go

ahead sorry it's it's there's a lot of

yeah that's the problem right is like

cuddling has so many edge cases yet an

overview like this almost becomes

useless the moment that you actually try

to do it these people's bodies are

different the strategies differ right

mm-hmm just don't forget to stagger your

spoons folks also also it is perfectly

legit to not have your bottom arm

underneath the person you can tuck it up

between you two it's fine

that's the thing that turns that right

there turned so many people off the

coddling cuz it's like my arm falls

asleep just don't put it there penis and

don't put it there um keep heating in

mind spooning is one of the greatest

heat generating cuddle positions because

there is so much physical cons so if

you're in a survival situation right

it's like out the movie alive where

people are eating each other you could

just spoon and you know like share body

heat and use it to survive this is

actually a historic like historic

problem for me because I have so like I

generate so much heat because you're hot

yeah I I'm yeah you see the mod the

modesty here

no I like literally I I generate a lot

of heat and so that that is a problem it

doesn't seem to be a problem for other

people he's got a problem

of the nine tails inside of them yeah

yes you know I have the cute boy cow we

don't don't look at me I have no [ __ ]

yeah I know I I know how to pronounce it

I'm just being an [ __ ] ah see you

have to try to be an [ __ ] I'm an

[ __ ] by default the big spoon may

have to hold off wrapping their arm

around the little spoon or more or move

their legs back a bit to avoid creating

a sweat pool let's take a dip in a sweat

pool last one ins rotten egg

appealing to try out the 1/2 spoon

nearly as classic as a as classic what

is it is there a top 10 hits that has

you know night egg that's just them

putting their head on your shoulder that

has a name now apparently okay I guess

they have yearly up oh the new formula

thing how do you not how do you draw

Fred and Mike cuddling for today's are

oh oh don't worry there's more coming I

mean you draw us cuddling just just you

know just clothes please no no no boners

in the art please thank you to try out

the half spoon

nearly as classic as a complete spoon

the half spoon is accomplished with one

person laying on their back and the

other facing them laying on their side

the person on their side will likely

rest their head on the others chest

intertwine your legs for an even more

intimate cuddling session this is

written with the same sort of prose as

as semen ology isn't it the intertwining

the legs you know it's like a recipe it

reads like a recipe it does you know a

1/2 spoon of sweat pool rest their head

on the others chest you got to

intertwine your legs it's like you know

muddling the

the [ __ ] what is it the mint for the

mojito summer fire thank you for your

subs cod bo2 boobs buff bones and doctor

hadaka Fram Fanny summer fire thank you

so much first step so glad no I was I

was gonna go on it god damn it I'm gonna

go next party even more intimate

cuddling session and then bite into his

nipple really hard enough to complete

the half spoon that's the most important

part of the half spoon just yeah YUM

sorry okay good yeah step 3 how to

cuddle an inmate terrible how to cuddle

the Hamburglar oh [ __ ] layer up best for

cuddling in tight spaces layer you're

cuddling by having the larger person lay

face up the second person can then rest

face down directly over the bottom half

to avoid suffocation of the lower stack

but the top person should stagger their

body slightly downwards so that they can

turn their head to the side and rest it

on the bottom halves chest have a third

person get on top to create a human

lasagna lasagna the saggy

yeah just put a third person you could

put a fourth person on there you can

just stack them up layer it up boys ie

John it's what I knew I couldn't soon

how to cuddle your wife's boyfriend is

that did you really see that wait tell

me that wasn't actually there know

they're being there memeing are there's

some terrible ones how to make your

girlfriend want to have sex with you we

saw that one right and just don't like I

don't like God we did that essentially

last time I'm done with that yeah no

[ __ ] that

Yeah right [ __ ] me okay

we have okay okay

it's not a boner I know I've got I've

got a few more for go face to face one

of the most romantic a you I have notes

about this but oh um one of the most

romantic cuddling positions is when you

lie towards each other face to face you

may lie on your stomachs and turn your

heads to the side or lay on your sides

whatever works best increase the

romantic feelings swirling around the

room by holding hands in the space

between your bodies look if you have to

tell the person that their romantic

feeling is in the room there aren't

romantic feelings in the room let's just

don't forget it's a day to subroutine

dude it is I mean the other thing I

wanted to mention is be careful with

this kind of cuddling because it's

really easy to like breathe on each

other and get really stuffy and like

suffocate each other just like keep

breathing each other's carbon monoxide

exhalation exact yeah just like it feels

like you're suffocating okay it does for

me anyway the art for the next one that

guy's like I'd rather be cuddling with

that guy I want to call it with that guy

up there how do I call it with that guy

uh honey are you pointing to Ursa Major

yeah because I'd rather be with a bear

funny I'm gay oh good you like that I to

them five try the stargazer you know you

know you and your partner camping or

watching a meteor shower and therefore

want to cuddle but both need to see the

sky lay on your backs next to each other

and wrap your legs together if you don't

mind a dead arm one of you can slip

their arm everyone Minds a dead arm do

you know what unless you're trying to

pull off a stranger nobody wants it yes

I was literally about to see on wha

one of you can slip their arm under the

neck of the other person in a half

embrace you can also hold hands over

your torsos or in the space between your

bodies contrary to the name this can be

done under any circumstance and not just


because you gotta inform the other

person right mm-hmm

oh honey I love looking up at the

asbestos popcorn ceiling with you

you could only be in this position if

you're outdoors that's it all right

don't try doing it indoors you're gonna

regret it oh look pewdiepie and peanut

butter gamer I was gonna say it's being

you oh I don't want to have that new

disgusting but now I'm chin beard Dwight

the chinstrap I do I don't know that's

not a chinstrap that's like chin pube

that's what I look like

no we do you know you don't know I'm

talking about the guy on the bottom

talking about the boy yeah he looks like

shaggy from scooby-doo that's not okay

yeah that's not good

chin poop no all you know what this is

this drawing is taken directly from

someone's like shaggy ex human

scooby-doo fan fiction anthro do should

we like get a pizza scoop after we [ __ ]

again raggy so bad

Blue Lamp Burger train but thank you for

a16 I'm sorry my front you wanna like

smoke a joint scoop huh the only thing I

water smokers your Aggie I'm sorry let's

not do that

you want to lay numbers of reeds number

six lay number six like Scoob I thought

you'd never ask

I hate I [ __ ] hate this I want you to

know I hate this I don't just dislike

this I hate this like I'll give you a

Scooby Snack Scoob

you know what I everybody knows what I'm

gonna say so I'm not no no no no no no

no you ready I'm about to do that I'm

about to do you one better

go ahead like Scoob you're the only

stack I need in my life all right that

one was wholesome no no what I was gonna

say all right oh absolutely yeah so all

right read number six all right

oh oh closeout method to lay your head

in their lap this cuddling move is great

for when you want to talk and makes

maintaining icon Oh got to god.this I

hate the sentence this cuddling move is

great for when you want to talk and

makes maintaining eye contact

easy awkward have one person sit up

while the other lays down

perpendicularly to them with their head

resting in their laps

this gives the person sitting up a great

opportunity to play with her partner's

hair or sweetly stroke their face this

is so mechanical yeah this is a very


boner situation here because if you know

if you pop a boner you're effectively

like jabbing the the other person in the

back of the neck which oh god I don't

think it's gonna feel good right oh yeah

biggest fish this is giving me my

favorite shaggy quote lucky for you I'm

a dog lover is that from the cool movie

I only know a crew by that many I only

know only know it as from the

misadventures of scoops

watch me sweets right in what if they

aren't gay it could this could be a

friend cuddle you know that's that's a

thing that guys do Yeah right that guys

do that what you don't do that but III

think that dudes should I'm talking I

think it's fun I'm talking to chat like

like you guys don't yeah you know what I

would not want wanna cuddle with with my

friends I feel like I don't know maybe

it's just mmm I don't know 10 bucks 10

bucks that the Romans after they got

done with like sword practice would just

like lay their heads in each other's

laughs hang out in the most hetero well

you know it's a different different

culture you know those types of things

like there wasn't a lot of I guess

homophobia there during the Roman Empire

right in the same way that it exists in

did you know the world today I would say

I don't I don't think so I feel like I'd

seen a few a few articles and stuff

where they had like examples of art and

just wasn't it wasn't like a haha gay

constantly whenever two men wanted to be

affectionate with each other you know

indefinitely in that time now okay III

what I've been like beyond me definitely

depends on the friend I have friends

that I would never call right yeah I

have friends that I was never called you

know I have other friends that it's like

all right yeah sure would you cuddle

Baron Harkonnen

no okay I've only only on one condition

if I laid on his chest and he levitated

us up into the air that could be cool

what about mr. blinken but I'm already

in his bracelet the world is mr. plinkus

basement like false pop points out

Greece and Rome was just one big no homo

yeah like there wasn't it was like

obviously snow no homo did it didn't

need to be said or you know if it was

home it was like all right I mean I show

they were individuals who didn't like it

but I think it was you know it was um

and I don't I don't think it was a big

of a deal as it can be in in modern

society for people you know I don't know

I wasn't there I wasn't there but based

on things that I've read I don't know

John's Jen I will only cuddle sonic if

he has shoes I hate that Sonic is a

hedgehog and if you try to coddle Sonic

there's a strong likelihood you'll be

impaled on his quills good all right how

about you take us in through method

three tell us how to experiment with

cuddling experimenting with cuddling

dangled from the [ __ ] ceiling fan

while it's on full speed and lock hips

with each other and try not to cry play

with their hair there are few feelings

so sweet and nice as when someone plays

with your hair gender doesn't matter

simply run your hands through your

partner's hair while you cuddle this may

or may not be a variation of a scalp

massage crossed with a finger hairbrush

playing with your partner's hair is a

certain way of making them happy

uncomfortable again you don't need to

say these things just like like don't

tell them how to feel just tell it like

like I feel like it's one thing to tell

them what to do it's another thing to

tell them how to feel but further which

further backs up my theory that this

like for psychopaths dude I was just

gonna say I was a sociopaths like like

[ __ ] severe sociopaths like maybe

they even like you know I checked out

that show um Sherlock the BBC Sherlock

show uh-huh

and he it's it's got Benedict

Cumberbatch and the character calls

himself a high-functioning sociopath

meaning that he could participate in

society and he's not you know like a

like a [ __ ] serial murderer or

whatever like he's a participant in

society but he has no concept of like

human interaction or like politeness or

or whatever you know so it's like the

people who are really sociopathic right

have to spend time training themselves

to learn how to participate in society

so they could just maybe go either go

under the radar or just feel like a

person in society you know another

example of this is like you ever see

Dexter Michael C Hall of the Showtime

show Dexter where he's like the murderer

but um basically he's a [ __ ]

sociopath he has no idea of anything

about normal human emotion so he has to

like [ __ ] study it again

it's like data like if data was not an

Android and was a human being

you'd call him a [ __ ] sociopath just

because he's a sociopath it doesn't

necessarily mean you know he's a bad

person it just means he's got something

that's neuro atypical right that means

that they do not have the things that

come naturally I think I compare oh god

we're gonna get into Star Trek if we

keep going down this road I'm sorry I

just want to say I think comparing data

to a sociopath isn't quite right though

because part of the point of data is

like as a character is wrestling with

the idea of an intelligence that is so

different from humanity that it is

impossible to conceptualize but it is

definitely an intelligence

and that's something that next

generation brings up a few times as like

a plot point and as like somebody to

think about it's like here's this thing

it doesn't think like humans it doesn't

think like anything it thinks like

itself but it's definitely sentient we

can't like it how do you empathize with

something that's impossible that that

literally does not think the way that

you do

well I countered with that's what a

sociopath is like you know there's a lot

of sociopaths that are insanely

intelligent insanely clever they're able

to and part of the reason for that may

just be the fact that they're very on

emotional thinkers because they don't

experience emotion in the way that we do

so it allows them to be SuperDuper

analytical and [ __ ] you know I think

there's a you think it's it's that's

that's a conversation that could go back

forth for a while um sure so I don't

know I think I think that there's a lot

of nuance and you know that is not

something that a wikiHow article will

address but and that that's what we're

really interested in here but we're not

interested about okay no we're not

interested in like these important

questions we're interested in a much

more important question how to [ __ ]

cuddle Mike I need this all right I'm

gonna I'm gonna learn you how to

experiment with cuddling excuse me


do a little kissing kiss your partner in

a sentimental fashion don't don't hate

kiss your partner do nicer bathing

sentimental kiss are proteins not in

preparation for making out plant little

kisses on their forehead arms or hands

to show that you love and care for them

which you know you could you could you

could you know you might not you might

not this move is sure to leave them

swinging and happy to be wrapped up with

you look at them they're like a [ __ ]

sushi roll

young happy little practice some massage

everyone loves a good massage right show

your partner some love by gently

massaging the area's nearest to you

honey let me rub your elbow I feel so

good when you stretch out my my wenis

when you need my meanness yes need my

wenis like silly putty put my stretch

out my wenis and put it on the Family

Circus comic so the ink stays on my

elbow and I could show up backwards

Family Circus comic to everybody that's

that sees my elbow please do this for me

honey do this for me please it's the

only way I can experience your

sentimental love and care twitch T says

that was a Family Guy joke it did is

that where I got I got that from I

remember seeing that somewhere was a

Family Guy

oh how could you yeah listen I watched a

lot of Family Guy I've admitted it I've

admitted it oh that's fair it's I feel

like Family Guy is like the the

equivalent of Chex Mix go on like in

turn like it's television Chex Mix and

that like you keep eating it you're not

quite sure why you're still eating it

but you know that the more you eat it

the like more raw your mouth you feel

you know the salt is killing you like

you can feel it hurting you but you're

like I just can't stop Chex Mix is soft


Chex Mix is great but the experience of

eating it is quite similar to Family Guy

somebody Chad's gonna say this is an

insult to Chex Mix chex mix I like Chex

Mix it is it's like a great snack

I should get some actually [ __ ] I'm an

adult I can I can buy whatever snack

foods I so desire that's true I forget

that sometimes it's funny isn't it well

I it's easier for me because I you know

I still live from my mom's basement

everything about

anyway we got some but here for you


run your hands down their body lightly

stroke their body with your fingertips

run your hands down their torso along

their legs or along their arms this is

easy to do from a spoon or half spoon

position but can be accomplished in any

cuddly form

it's just I'm just seeing like section 3

subsection 4 much they person body so


we've got one last one we got one last

one ran your finger into his ear as deep

as possible

give him the gnarliest wet willy he's

ever had in his life

shove those spider eggs as deep as you


softly tickle them gently tickling your

partner will have them squirming and

giggling closer to you in no time I bet

you can find a lot of people who hate

this be careful not to take the tickling

too far there you go do it only long

enough to show that you're flirting and

that you want them closer to you they

don't see anything about cuddle parties

huh don't you think huddle parties when

it came up like attending cuddle parties

and learning from the master Cutler's on

a bus answer

don't go find a guru on top of the

mountain yet don't just they can cuddle

for yeah just like just for fun but good

reason for cuddling can I call it a

complete stranger that's not here god

mm-hmm is it normal to get an erection

while cuddling there it is yes it is

completely normal to get an erection

while cuddling with someone else

especially if they are attractive to you

there's not really a good way to control

this you just have to get used to

cuddling oh yet just punch your bone of

really hard four or five times until it

goes away and then you're ready to

cuddle again why would a lesbian want to

cuddle with the straight men cuddling is

not an inherently sexual activity plenty


people like to cuddle with their friends

regardless of gender or sexual

orientation well there you go

Fred some some friend cuddling

representation right yeah how many loves

in there's how many lesbians in chat

would be interested in cuddling with the

straight man I'd be shocked if there was

one one want one can we get one single

one sure why not

alright got one bye and no sorry nothing

yeah why does one tap their fingers on

another's body as if they're playing the

piano does it mean they're anxious no

that it means they're trying to see if

you're in tune they're trying to find

the accessport for good just like what

do I do if I want to be the big spoon

but I'm the shorter / smaller one I

think there's a name for this it's

called the jet pack I I don't know if

that's actually water just go for it you

might suffocate a little bit since your

face would be buried in their back but

whatever you'll just die a little bit

it's alright whatever

do you like to be I love that do you

like to be the big spoon or little spoon

front whatever whichever it depends on

what I feel like at the time it mostly

depends on smoosh side I want to lie I

like to trade off your ass which ass

well I winner your switch seselis

so like here's the thing right like

cuddling for me is more dependent on

which side I want to lie on at the time

okay and it is like how I precisely want

to cuddle the other person makes sense

it makes sense like I want to be on my

left side I'm okay I love the jet pack

that's brilliant

Oh jelly hearts calls that a spork

apparently you're a spork how do you

feel about that I call me whatever you


call me [ __ ] forts please change it

switch Dave - [ __ ] farts

don't don't you will get banned you will

get banned don't do that people get bent

oh I think you forgot to tweet out the

length of the street [ __ ] I did

and I had it all set up and ready to go

[ __ ] I sent it out it's out if you want

did you want to retweet it is that why

yes yes it's out thank you buddy I got

your back

III got you back uh-huh so you want to

be the behind you want to be the big the

big spoon okay okay can i cuddle with my

best friend who's also a girl and have

it not be awkward there you go there's

some more on a friend

cuddling what if we cuddled in our

minecraft beds that were next to each

other but we were both girls how do I

make cuddling romantic spread your arms

and let the person know it's okay to

touch you instead of driving them away

by creating an uncomfortable atmosphere

so in other words don't fart it's a bad

time to [ __ ] over big spoon or little

spoon don't fart hold it in until it

feels like you're gonna spontaneously

combust okay do not under any

circumstances fart okay other ways to

make cuddling romantic do a really weird

and creepy impression of Shaggy and

scooby-doo being like homoerotic with

each other that will work every time

guaranteed got you in the mood right

Fred oh yeah I'm ready I'm ready for a

Scooby Snack oh there's a video you want

watch the video yeah Mike I was about to

ask will you please to finish off this

article will you please hit play on that

- farts cuddling I think it up there's

audio there's audio all right you ready

yeah yep three two one go to cuddle

start by placing a hand on your

partner's shoulder back or waste the

place it somewhere out there for a few

minutes to make sure the other person is

comfortable and interested if you're

sure they are you can try different

cuddling positions like the half

spoon the stargazer or the spoon all

might this is a recap no common cuddling

position both partners should lie on

their sides

tucked into each other the big spoon or

the person in the back can rest their

head near the shoulder of the little

spoon if you're cuddling you know just

do it right arm try having the larger

person lay face up and the second person

rest face down on topic have the second

choose whatever is most comfortable for

both of you have the second person relax

and be playful cuddling is a sweet way

to show physical affection you can play

with your partner's hair plant little

kisses on their forehead and arms tickle

them and even give them a massage you

could play with their pain office enjoy

your time with your partner

that's it yeah the problem is like that

there's there's a lot of anatomical

problems and they just don't deal with

it at all by making them an amorphous

bulbs it possibly the most useless video

oh man it is it aggressively useless

holy [ __ ] how aggressively useless how

to cuddle if you're a smog alien from

[ __ ] Futurama remember the Futurama

episode with the with the cast of the

original Star Trek we're not talking

about Star Trek again I'm sorry god yeah

we have to keep going maybe at the end

maybe at the end I can describe like

doom to you do you have another article

for me um I think we're ready to go a

little bit deeper down and and I don't

want to prep you I want to prep you by

showing you an article that's not really

about the article what I want you to pay

attention to I mean the article itself

is absolutely [ __ ] but like I'm bad [ __ ]

but I want you to look at the

illustrations this is how to be a

popular girl in a private school oh so

this is like some Mean Girls strategies

huh yeah sort of all right it's more

basic than that so we're gonna read this

or you might just look at though I'm not

really like like the writing is like

weird but I'm not I'm not so worried

about the writing we're just gonna look


art huh yeah no do not be fooled by the

first panel this goes downhill fast

am I gonna get like there are people

gonna get upset here Fred

ah there will be discomfort alright wait

a minute let me let me let me look at

this first that I know nobody is going

to be

nobody's gonna wretch right like it's

not gore or nudity or anything it's just

oh okay now this is fine it's fine I've

yelled fielded this it's it's fine it's

just it's just what yeah you've scared

me for no reason

no no no no you look a little closer

it's how to be a popular girl in a

private school find the prettiest most

popular girl and beat the [ __ ] out of

her in front of everybody to assert


wait now that's prison my bed okay

so you don't you don't want to read it

at all just start I'm really not that

word like the article is pretty dull and

dumb and boring so the art okay so we

have an anime girl obviously you have an

anime girl alright and then we have

alright so applying applying nail polish

yeah [ __ ] look whatever then she

becomes a sonic character and that the

real weight of this because a Robotnik

shoes dude are they eat I thought they

were Amy's yes want a look uphill on do

this for me look up Amy Roses boots I'm

gonna find them for you hold on keep


go ahead and take us into the face of

the next one and I want you to look very

carefully at it right that's what you're

getting out of it look at look at the

resolution over her mouth compared to

everything else yeah yeah the the lips

are blurry and uh why why are they yours

Amy Rose

they're a mate they're literally Amy

Rose booze holy [ __ ]

oh [ __ ] why oh my god the heels are

exactly the same I think that's what got

me is like the the soles are exactly the

say it's got the white thing it's got

going like all the halfway although

almost to the knee

there's the stripe thank do you look up

Robotnik's shoes for me all right all

right um let me see robot cuz I feel

like he might have like the yellow

stripe I might be no no he's just got

black yeah is it yeah it's not okay um

so yeah there's something weird going on

with the mouth it's very sensual and

puffy and shiny and and also yeah she

doesn't have a nose but I guess you know

that's part and parcel for anime right I

just keep going keep an eye on the face

the next one gets really like a real

face like why is it it's off center and

it's it's tilted a little bit yeah it

looks it looks like a cut-and-paste

like third grade they're like no

kindergarten project it's uncanny

yeah I want to point something out real

quick I went to a private school right

obviously they're they're depicting this

girl in a private school setting right

um so that's a uniform I guess it is

weird that it would be a pink uniform I

feel like they wouldn't do that in a

private school she's going to Prager you

is that what it's that no it's not it's

not a real place right I hope not that's

my head cannon oh here's another thing

um you see that whole thing with the top

button on done and like the [ __ ] tie

looking all disheveled and [ __ ] they are

not gonna tolerate that's detention this

girl be sent straight to [ __ ]

detention immediately detention

all right so we got girlfriends with

weird who'd [ __ ] very deformed hands

very deform

look at that hand dude what is going on

it's melting

oh god you're right it's melting than

the all the mouths the mouth let me give

your hand some structural integrity

since it's melting these girls look like

the popsicle faces yeah this is gumball

eyes yeah I don't I don't like it well

they got the anime you know you ever see

like the anatomical cutaway of an anime

anime girl yes we're like the eyeball is

the size of a grapefruit meaning like

there's no room left in the skull for

like their brain and such mm-hmm

let's go moving on here all right so

she's got yeah what the [ __ ] is up with

the mouse here bands just copy-paste it

it's really uncanny oh my god and the

head tilt like this one look up at to

the head is like the faces copy-pasted

the one with the relate where they're

given like the the the meme hints the

meme hints whatever I'm gonna know of

but compared for and to like not only

did they copy/paste eyes and a mouth

onto the face they then copy pasted that

face for another one they copy pasted

the copy paste that's the level we're on

you notice that they look like they have

vitiligo too like there's two different

like like skin tones in the face as well

how are you seeing that yeah

copy paste all right so they're doing

the meme hand I don't know what that's

called apparently now I'm being told

that it's a white supremacy symbol when

you do that with your hands which

whatever for 4chan did a thing where

it's like hey let's [ __ ] with people and

tell them that it's a white supremacy

symbol is that what it was okay it

worked it worked right because I

remember it was like on CNN and

everything it's like guys do some

[ __ ] journalist and please they

they totally [ __ ] with every news

source um they did it they actually

managed to do it - so there's no vagina

in there right like that's okay so

that's just an upskirt was this some

yeah or that table they just drew with

the rectangle - ah that's exactly what

they did

holy [ __ ] that degree there's also

there's no legs

on that table no before you stares back


yeah become a lesbian to become popular

listen to binaural beats how to become a


do you know number seven I don't think

Fred knows about the binaural beats

Channel guys I don't I know III know

that Christian was watching it to try to

grow a vagina uh-huh that's all I know

do your hands yeah look it

oh it's obviously a like male cartoon

that they pasted an anime face on yeah

where I forgot how bad this was where

are half of the fingers they're there

they're just like in the book they're

fused into the cartoon but it's a

cartoon that's the problem

you just her hands are massive it's like

the Seinfeld episode with the man hence

she's got man hands George George she's

got man hands

man hey George

she doesn't like just good [ __ ] dear

God how is doing your homework gonna

make you more popular isn't that just

gonna make everybody think you're a nerd

also pink rose feel bad good ma'am

Richard welcome for 22 months they just

got done writing about German neoclassic

ISM time to be stupid man you came in at

the right time oh yeah

number eight like the faces are

especially heinous on this one even

though they're tiny how to become

popular completely just inhale a bicycle

seat with your bottle but it really is

just going up there it's a nice skirt

but it's confused it confused me for a


bicycle jousting stop stop stop stop

stop stop when someone is wearing the

streets and they're on and they're on a

yeah I'm tilted right now um usually

when someone is sitting on a bicycle

seat and they're in a skirt like that

you can see like the front of the

bicycle seat like lifting up the skirt a

little bit right like it creates up a

bump in the skirt but it's like making a

bump there it's a seat there's no bike

seat she removed the bicycle seat no

suggestive this is the one on the left

looked kind of look like a Sailor Moon

character oh they traced it a hundred

percent dude she's wearing two different

shoes that's not gonna help you get

popular no she's not the popular one

she's got a baby number in Syria number

eight originally was like find that dumb

girl who wears two different shoes and

beat the living [ __ ] out of her but for

real they forgot to draw the shoes they

literally just forgot to draw the shoe

so at number nine we've gone into

full-on just some kind of weird

masturbation material I think

she looks like a blow-up doll yeah it's

a [ __ ] human blow-up doll and I don't

like it mm-hmm they just get worse all

right so now she's wearing a hideous

[ __ ] sweater around their waist like

that look at that

what the [ __ ] it's like she skinned mr.

blobby it's it's a it's the kind of

sweater that tells me she's about to

inform me about the lost continent of


it's nerd and about that and about this

wonderful channel called spirit science

oh no I forgot about that please no how

did it become popular jab a pencil into

your eye and then get a eyepatch because

pirates are [ __ ] cool

God think they just Photoshop that

pencil in yeah you could see it's just

it's like a realized pencil just it's

they got her in there real crusty she's

about to draw on some darude Oh whiskers

Jets fantasy yeah she listens to the

binaural beats all right you want to

move on we're not gonna read this [ __ ]

so we might no we're definitely not

would you do me a favor

Rhian buy me like two minutes to use the

bathroom um is it number one or number

two maybe okay so just number three

everyone be ready I'm about to this is

the main feature the next thing that I'm

about to give you all is the main

feature of the night but I'm gonna need

t what can I need to use the bathroom so

just buy me like two or three minutes

how about I actually go to the bathroom

too because i hydrated a lot before the

streams so I could use the opportunity

to pay do not like this one I chose

specifically for chat and I'm sure

that's tipping off plenty of people

right now yeah tipped me off yeah yeah

yeah he's got me on my my tippy-toes in

Mike knew this was coming and it's like

an anticipation okay we'll be right back

okay uh in the meantime guys in honor of

cuphead getting into smash

we'll look at that cuphead video again

it's only going to be like a minute of

it so don't worry but I'm not gonna have

you guys watch the whole thing

I will be back I've also heard that this

game is like really insanely punishingly

hard as well so that's that's kind of a

cause for concern here I'm bad at video

games I don't know how many of you

noticed that I try to hide it it's over

how do I use the super I have no idea

what to expect right it's over

oh boy Ken's good for you men did you

guys watch it he was going sold he was

going so well all this this this phase

of the boss can suck like every [ __ ]

dick on the North American continent

like get every dick from sea to shining

sea like line up every every [ __ ]

everyone with a dick from the [ __ ]

from like jersey from like the Jersey

Shore and just line them up all the way

straight across like to California to

like [ __ ] Santa Barbara or whatever

the [ __ ] and his boss can just go down

the line like [ __ ] getting their

kicks so just go down route 66 sucking

every [ __ ] dick get your dicks on

route 66 [ __ ] what is this he's got a

he's got a [ __ ] clown machine what

the [ __ ] no what the [ __ ] [ __ ] oh I

do not like these penguins all right I'm

gonna use this special on this

[ __ ]

right now

go shake what the [ __ ] man

really oh it's a cup head a big wooden

cup head [ __ ] that really his face could

definitely afford to take a trip down

route 66 route 60 dicks [ __ ] man I

do you guys are being too mean for me

for me for me to continue playing this

game I'm just gonna stream Animal

Crossing every day for the rest of my

[ __ ] life how about that no more

[ __ ] no more horde video games it's

animal crossing every day all day

forever that's it what are you doing you

can't why is this [ __ ]

in the way I couldn't see that [ __ ]

because there's a buck a cupcake block

in my [ __ ] vision why are you there

cupcake there but it's fake it's a big

balloon why can't I bury off the big

balloon what the [ __ ] is going on here

we're back guys how was your pee was it

satisfying it was glad to hear it it

wasn't very ready and I'm ready to load

up for the next pee because I'm just

about to unseating my tea

all right so while you steep your tea

let's get steeped in some [ __ ] you

know you got another article for me home

yeah all right I've got the next two

hour for chat this is to show my love

and appreciation for all of you out

there who support and enjoy my friend

this is my hurryin I'm afraid Mike I

present to you you know what I'll let

you introduce it uh-huh

I want to make one thing perfectly

[ __ ] clear I want to make one thing

perfectly [ __ ] clear right now

hold on

this song is louder than the others huh

guys for some reason okay I don't have a

foot fetish I want to just get again

I've said this before if I did have a

foot fetish I I would just I would admit

it I'd say it I'd talk about it I I

would I'd just be like I have one I

don't think it's that [ __ ] weird I

don't think it's that out there I I

don't I think it's it's it's common

enough where it's like whatever you know

like am I alone on this Mike

[ __ ] buy him whatever you say I want

you to know I'm here to support you you

know and I want to give you the

resources to understand yourself you

know and help share yourself with other

people including these parts

how to admit to a foot-fetish don't be

embarrassed about having a thing for

your partner's sexy alluring feet

definitely written by definitely written

by an impartial party here right that's

only an article written by by somebody

who you know is completely unbiased this

is the least of it there's a way to tell

you special someone about your foot

fetish without causing a sensation if

you want to know how to fess up about

your love for feet just follow these

easy steps laying the groundwork and

this week there's gonna be feet in every

single one of these [ __ ] tarts is

there oh you [ __ ] that classy this

was this was chosen for you alright

number one just start sucking on our

toes suck on her toes while she's asleep

if she wakes up it doesn't scream in

terror you're good don't fess up right

away if you want your partner to be okay

with your foot fetish then the worst

thing you could do is blurt it out right

away you know what man I think not I

feel like I feel like if this was a

thing you'd want it out there as soon as

possible what do you think if you

absolutely need the feet and you're

going to be getting sexual and you're

thinking about making this more than a

one-time sexual encounter like if you

can do without the feet for the one

night they are gonna be together you

don't have to tell her but if this is

gonna be a thing that you're like

building up good to address it

so you would so like what date what what

date do you think I think by date during

she shouldn't don't know about the field

or he should know about you bike bike if

it depends on how sexual you've gotten

already probably but like if it's like

if it's a deal-breaker for you they got

a no right cuz how many people are you

know like cool no thanks what are you

gonna do you're gonna tell them like

into two months of dating it you have

two months of day two months later they

really like you everything is going


hey just so you know uh I really want to

suck on your feet at what point does it

become like entrapment foot entrapment

yeah foot trap mint mm-hmm flaming log

ramp back crew to baby thank you for two

months I think it's got to come up

really early I I feel like this is it is

a deal-breaker if you have a foot fetish

and you're but you're okay with not

doing it with your partner then like you

know maybe you can put it off a little

bit if it's not that important to you

but if it's like listen if this is gonna


I gotta lick your heel then that's gonna

that's got to come up early your

deal-breakers have to be right there if

you're gonna be my soul mates then

there's some things you should know my

soul mate I have to be able to mate with

your soul

Oh Oh God I hate it

uh hmm I really I really just or it's

like sick I like it was sick today said

we're like when you first introduce

yourself to someone it's like hi I'm

feet the first [ __ ] thing you say to

the person or it's like you go out to

dinner you know like it's the first date

and you sit down at the table and she's

like so I'm a court stenographer I like

me the invader zim method of conveying

information if you're in the middle of

your first date here we are

or even kissing for the first time

saying I have a foot like yeah you're in

the middle of like swap and spit like

our tongue is halfway down your throat

you're I'm sorry what it is like now

turn your knight in the wrong direction

you think if you want to tell your

partner about your foot fetish you get

the best results you have to wait for

the perfect time when you know each

other a little better

ideally you should wait until you have a

sexual experience before you discuss

your foot fetish I don't think so no

maybe well man I mean again if you if

you're okay what you said yeah if you're


not having the feet involved then you

can absolutely have a sexual experience

of someone like and just not involve the

feet but let them know before you start

making it a part of it like it made you

imagine it's just they think it's gonna

be you know more or less vanilla a

sexual encounter and then all of a

sudden it's like what what are you doing

to my foot yeah if you know all right

it's like what what why did you replace

your hands there with your foot I don't

like that I mean your dexterity is

impressive but I just looked or why and

incredible feats for sure

on the other hand you don't want to wait

too long if you walk down the aisle

obsession with feet that you may run

into some serious trouble

not now I'm just imagining you know

she's she's reading her vows she's like

from the moment I saw you are like free


if there is anyone here who does not

think that this couple should be united

in holy matrimony speak now or forever

hold your baby

I mean yeah it's our it's it's our

honeymoon you know it's like our you

know it's our our first night really

quite consummating the marriage I mean

did you have sex were you saving it for

marriage I mean either way it's like I

mean I don't well then again if you if

you're saving yourself for marriage it's

probably for religious reasons right

kind of like allowed to have a foot kink

in like a major religion like

Christianity says something says

anything about it about feet or feet

kosher how about Jewish people I don't

know like can't can oh oh I don't I

don't want to go there never mind never

mind never mind I don't know our feet

halal is it he he'll all shut up um yeah

sorry so oh my god in the Bible there's

a lot of foot stuff we've talked about

this too right

oh yeah I was actually thinking the

exact same thing a lot of washing of

feet mm-hmm so I mean they don't say

anything specifically against feet but I

feel like it if they probably wouldn't

encourage it right like let's let's

stick with Christianity it probably

wouldn't encourage it right

please take us on its a subsection to

use this topic making you uncomfortable

please all right start touching your

partner's feet when you're ready I think

when they're ready is better right yeah

it the whole I you know I feel like I

need to let you experience this article

for yourself look at his face you're

okay with this right I really hope

they're okay with this please be okay

with this

like please be okay with this uh once

you've got more comfortable with your

partner it's time to test the waters if

you found yourself in bed or in the if

you found yourself in bed or in various

degrees of undress you could try kissing

your partner stomach legs and then move

your way down to the feet don't go

straight for the feet or you may freak

your partner out go-go's there's some

words of wisdom everyone don't go

straight for the feet you can also just

start touching your partner's feet if

you're watching TV and you want to give

him or her a sexy foot massage correct

me if I'm wrong chat but isn't that the

exact sequence from from sonic dreams

collection when you're on the couch with

Sonic the Hedgehog and you're out try to

cop a feel order yep take his foot off

our date take his shoe off sorry I think

of it think of it she was his foot

you just take his foot off huh it's

[ __ ] out man that's like Gore foot

Gore man you're into some wicked [ __ ] my

dude my roommate was really disturbed

but bit disturbed by like hand gore

which he called finger I'm disturbed

hearing about the concept for the first


don't start licking or sucking on your

partner's feet yet this may be much too


as well again I feel like this is a

first by the third date they have to

know like it again it doesn't have to be

you know the first time you're having

sex or whatever like just in like casual

conversation I think it's really

important for you to know I'm into feet

like I did I feel like it's it's it's

one of those things where like I know a

lot of people or

made uncomfortable by that because they

are right so it's kind of an upfront

thing here I need you to know that you

know I'm into feet I think if I let put

you this way if I started dating

somebody who was in defeat that is what

I would want I would want to know

ideally before there's probably any

sexual contact or before there's any

kind of me starting to like really feel

emotionally invested in this person

something big like that

you know i-i-i I did not realize how

strong my aversion was until recently

because I will I would occasionally go

on reddit right but then and it's just

it's a terrible place but I would

occasionally go on there and one time I

went on there there was an ad that my ad

blocker didn't catch that was about

arthritis but the image for the

Arthritis was a pair of feet his big

closeup but they like old like old feet

like like old person's and they work

well it was like a drawing of feet but

it was drawn in like such a way it's

inexplicable but it it grossed me out

enough that I don't ever want to go back

on Reddit like scarred for life helping

wince just said you're right no no sorry

not Calvin um was it bring Oh Danny said

of course I come in two feet talk know

you've come into a lot more than just

feet tall thank Fred you're welcome

Clyde says I would say this is getting

out of hand but we started off on the

wrong foot gosh no nobody is into feet

blur gosh okay queen of waffles asks

something really interesting

why would ladies like feet what do you

think the proportion is like how many

women do you think there are with a foot

cake versus men

that's actually a good question right

the devout you know what I thought about

it until I just saw that in the chat

foot-fetish demographic men versus women

foot fetish men's health Oh what's the

same okay hold on we got well-thought Oh

God okay pics sorry sorry I know that

the wicked the Wikipedia article has

like toes sorry T sorry uh let me see

let me see

how common our foot fetishes thanks for

taking one for the team five percent of

header so according to men's health calm

five percent of heterosexual women

eighteen percent of heterosexual men

that's a solid one in five people one in

five men that but for women it's only

one in twenty okay so to the one in five

I want to say that that's the main

reason why what you just said

why if I did have a [ __ ] foot fetish

I just say it like really cuz because

again it's so common it's like it's kind

of hard to hate on it but notice that

there is a in the in the other four

people there's a healthy amount of

revulsion over this right yeah um and

part of the reason that it's so common

in general and this was discussed in

this channel before but apparently it

has something to do with brain anatomy

yes well I think I did I mention this to

you it's because like the centers like

the center that controls sexual feelings

and the center that controls like feet

like foot balance yeah are physically

very close to each physical brain and

it's very easy for like accidental

connections some wires get crossed there

and that's why if you have fetishes are

as common as they are so for women it's

one in twenty but there is the one there

is the one in the twenty isn't that yeah

that there is there's the one in 20

heterosexual women now if we cross over

into other like if we cross over into

different kinds of homosexual I it says

bisexual and let gay and bisexual okay

11 percent of lesbians and bisexual

women and 21 percent of gay and bisexual

men so their percentages are similar for

gay and bisexual men but more than

doubled for lesbian and bisexual women

mm-hmm that is really interesting that

it actually is a little bit interesting

isn't it why now theory maybe it maybe

it's like being more open to that you

know the thing you gotta realize with

polls is it's the percentage is of

people that were polled and answered

honestly we're willing to it yeah yeah

that's the thing you got to keep in mind

and I think we had this exact

conversation during the last stream but

generally LGBT people are more like that

they're they're less prudish about [ __ ]

so they'll be like yeah yeah yeah I

meant defeat whatever [ __ ] so I this

this is why I'm always really dubious

about polls because when you're pulling

a group of people you're not pulling the

general population you are pulling the

population to people that are willing to

answer polls that's right the people

like really late so you can think about

you like I'd say the vast majority of

people when they hear like hello I'm

from a polling center they're like like

scam call like most intelligent people

are that way like they just identify

it's like even though even if they do

want to answer the poll like I don't

mind answering anonymous polls right

like polls can be really useful things

that especially scientifically but the

chances are decent that it's just a scam

true do you want it okay this is

interesting flaming log has a theory

that the departed part of this maybe

might just be the fact that women's feet

are just not as gross

Esme it's been sweet maybe so light it's

possible that's maybe that's part of it

wait would you like to continue yeah but

first I really want to read out loud

what vine Hart said because it's [ __ ]

hilarious all feet are nasty

you got feet [ __ ] you number three Oh No

he's ramming her [ __ ] big toe up his

nostril Wow

what pace is that [ __ ] five and a

half see how they react does your other

half react when you go for the feet do

here murmurs of approval the occasional

oh that feels good and see a nice

relaxed smile on his or her face if so

then things are moving in the right

direction if your partner pulls away or

even outright says they don't like it

when you touch their feet then it's time

to abort the mission

I'll report the mission we're gonna need

an extraction hmm we did it actors Phil

what do they call it a what I have no

idea what you're talking no and you got

to get like pulled out of a [ __ ]

mission extract yeah extra operation see

we've pretty compromised yet operation

oh no its operation this little piggy

went to market code name this little

piggy went home to home base so um

here's another problem with feet and and

and I don't know again I don't know how

it relates to the the you know

male-female statistics but [ __ ] you

know feet smell a lot of the time huh it

disgusting lot on the person and stinky

and gross and and all it depends on the


like my baby gets past that how how do

these people get past

like a lot of people like it some people

like that don't tell me that's the

answer that that that is the answer so

for some people like they might even

admit that it smells gross but they like

it all the same yeah you know what

that's that's like what I was doing

those things where I don't want a king

shame I never want to do that it's not

for me it's just not for me

like I just I don't know I have a I have

a back big mental obstacle to that that

I don't think I could ever [ __ ] get

over smell is something yeah like my

sense of smell is really sensitive like

if something smells bad enough then I

can get headaches from it mmm

and a really like but it's also one of

the reasons I've loved teas because teas

smells really nice I'm the same way

these are aromatic dude the [ __ ] butt

butter smell at [ __ ] New York City

Comic Con I almost [ __ ] passed out

and I'm not exaggerating that [ __ ] I

like unwashed [ __ ] funk in the net in

that [ __ ] convention almost made me

collapse and somebody was gonna have to

call a [ __ ] ambulance it was that

vlogging bad no I believe it I so it's

actually one of the reasons that I have

trouble going to gyms it's not that gyms

it's that it always smells like that

disgusting rubber I had to stop going to

the yoga classes that I was going to

because the [ __ ] babushka feet oh

good I'd say about the [ __ ] cuz I was a

yoga and there's these old Russian women

and and they're [ __ ] doing the yoga

barefoot and there was just a stench in

the room where I thought I was gonna

[ __ ] vomit and I couldn't go back I

told I told chat about this right uh-huh

it's like yeah I don't do like weird bad

smells I do not do I can't do not handle

it well like at all at all so I I can't

be doing with no like this branch dude

[ __ ] foot smell I just can't I don't

understand how somebody could could like

sexualize that it's just I have a really

hard time with it it makes you wonder if

it's like it if that particular part of

the foot fetish it like crosses over

into copper philia another right turn

that's right like [ __ ] like scat

that's why scat fetish copper failure

copper philia has more than that I think

it's like it's yeah it says enjoying

contact with excrement but I think they

don't like it all support extra needed

extra it might also cross into like

decay territory

things that are actually disgusting that

that are um what's the term I'm trying

to think of abject what about um

humiliation because if somebody that's

different you know it is like a big and

cross over I think it might it might be

like a crossover of like fetishes right

but now I'm out of my territory right

because I don't know what I'm [ __ ]

you're talking about

yeah like engaging in something that's

that that I'm sorry can't cannot be

pleasurable it is actively extremely

displeasure about

but you are just like dive it into it

because you [ __ ] hate yourself for

something that's the kink you know what

I mean

maybe that that makes sense mmm is this

a crossover episode alright does they

actually discuss okay wait sorry if your

partner reacts negatively don't be

discouraged you may still be able to

beat to turn things around

however this doesn't this does mean that

you shouldn't go for the feet again

until you have the big talk again I feel

like the big talk should have come

before anything but if your partner

reacts positively come luck in theater

he looks like he's gonna take a separate

bite out of it oh you [ __ ] I

just imagined like biting into someone's

big toe crunch

prom-prom Erica trapper I want you to

know if you're here that I've been

thinking about the [ __ ] burger thing

since the other night what you said in

the chat Ken laughing about it come

before that got me dude take a [ __ ]

it's a burger that has like the cheese

is like inside of the the burgers when

you bite into it the cheese explodes up

oh god yeah

it's hair cut you have some actually not

here I think this is the first stream

since I started streaming that haircut

raff room is not here for one of the


jelly donuts do that - yeah it's like it

pictured a jelly donut but it's a burger

hold on oh yeah compliment their feet

don't go overboard

just say you have such sexy feet or I

just love your feet don't go overboard

just say you have such sexy feet that's

not overboard at all that's initiating

initiating foot fetish subroutine yeah

don't make it sound such sexy feet don't

make it sound like a fetish yet see now

that that sounds subversive that that

right there sounds [ __ ] what's the

word dishonest and manipulative maybe it

has a similar tone too like but what is

it trying to get a girl to touch you're

like hey girl don't make it like a girl

how to touch a girl that was that one

the article yeah like you go oh you got

a got to work up to it's like no like

like tell them [ __ ] tell them just

tell your partner they she or she

specifically has amazing feet this will

make it easier for your partner to

swallow the toes I mean the news then if

you flat-out stated that you

categorically love all feet before

paying special attention to your

partner's feet but you gotta imagine

that somebody with a foot fetish would

would not just love all feet

indiscriminately would they you probably

have preferences in feet they'd probably

be feet where you're like don't like

that foot like that foot don't like that

foot right

again I'm like I'm like way out of my

territory like I I feel like you know

we're talking oh there's some scientific

pants and now I know I'm just completely


you're not gonna use it guys if possible

you know it's okay is it possible to

categorically love feet see if you see

if you see like a [ __ ] old hairy

grandpa foot with like [ __ ] you know

the toes all [ __ ] curtain gnarled up

from [ __ ] arthritis like that's gonna

do it for you because it's a foot I

don't think so

pink Rose said it perfectly

they'd be like a wine snob about it yes

this feet it has a this foot has a

divine aroma it's got some wonderful

legs you get it legs like the wine has

legs [ __ ] yes I get it legs are attached

to feet you see what I did there nice

slight mold undertone okay now I'm gonna

vomit Oh aah Oh additionally if you're a

guy and really feel like you need to

mention her feet you can compliment her

about it when you're having a night out

you could say your feet look great in

those shoes well you can't see them can


they're in shoes but no really it could

be anything in there don't overdo it or

little will she know you have a foot

fetish and think you only like her for

her feet you think that goes on well I

actually you know what it is possible to

be like you know you have like you can

see someone's figure in a dress it is a

shoe like that Fred no I well I mean it

depends on the shoe right because we're

thinking you know it's like if I'm

implying that it's a woman's feet in

this case you can have like heels that

hug the curvature of the foot sort of so

Fred you're not into feet because based

on the way you're speaking right now

it's no I'm like I'm trying to figure

this out Fred let me link you something

that I think you might find useful as

you as you move forward in your life so

anyway as we were saying

you know embrace it man it's alright I'm

here to support you okay all right I'm

just doing no matter what I'm your

friend all right and I'm gonna stand

behind you and I'm gonna lift you up

okay I will be I will be your art arch

your supporting arch I will be the

[ __ ] god the doctor Scholl's gel

insert of your life my guy okay that's

what I'm here for

I'm about to get you beneath my shoals

so do you think if some of these guys

will date women for their feet worth

like you only like me from my boobs try

again you try baby baby I know we've

only been together for a month and a

half but can you do this for me

can can you can you wear these and it's

like a pair of heels but the heels both

have tits on them please wear this did

you oh that's so stupid and good I love


gearing for a wild ride kid no see then

then then the story evolved was because

he's like trying to take them off and

she's like no the titty heels stay on

during sex oh that's a bummer and he's

like but how am I going to get at those

luscious toes and then maybe they come

to a compromise where he gets like a

strap that goes around the arch of her

foot so she her feet still have to I

don't know where you going with this

relationships are about compromise

that's that's where he's going with us

but but yeah is it possible that these

guys are just just dating women like

just just for their feet like she's just

got like great feet um doesn't care

anything about you know like her

personality or whatever it's like foot

like objectifying the the foot it's got

to get to that point

don't you think holy [ __ ] I'm sorry I

started scrolling through part two I

forgot how bad this cuz is this gonna be

like a TOS violation only you know I'm

not going down that far town

I it's no it's off the images it's not

the images it's the writing all right

now that should be fine then admitting

to your foot fetish part to pick the

right time to do it lands right time to

admit to a foot fetish there's no golden

rule but you probably should not do it

in the middle of a hookup instead pick a

time when you and your special someone

are hanging out and feeling good about

each other while having some privacy you

could tell your guy or a girl when

you're back at your place and you think

you may be close to hooking up again

fessing up in the middle of hooking up

or cuddling Oh see relevant may give you

a reaction you may not be ready for and

can interrupt the mood though not ruin

it for good yeah because it's they don't

want to be involved in this so let them

go let me tell them the truth yeah tell

them the truck oh you you you're about

to lose your [ __ ] with part two of this

act a little nervous what's this Oh your

foot fetish maybe something you've had

for years it seems perfectly normal to

you you should be considerate of your

partner sure you think feet are Hut's

plenty of people share your feelings one

in five heterosexual men however to a

person without a foot fetish this news

will seem a bit unexpected so you

shouldn't just drop this comment like

you're announcing that you think it's

about to rain it's raining feet

hallelujah its rainin feet okay calamity

said it perfectly wikiHow is advocating

gaslighting it's this is like trying to

manufacture a situation like where the

person might be more open to suggestion

right like trying to evoke sympathy I

thought this is about I I [ __ ] hate

this I hate this because there's

dishonesty like dishonesty just I don't

know it's never gonna end well it's

never I've been through it I've learned

this so many times

dishonesty it doesn't end well

like like just [ __ ] you're gonna

feign you need to be comfortable with

yourself you know what I talked a lot of

[ __ ] tonight all right and maybe verged

in the into the territory of King

shaming but if you have this [ __ ]

fetish and you don't think that there's

anything wrong with it then I think you

gotta act like that I think you have to

act the way that you [ __ ] feel don't

be disingenuous if this is you and this

is what you're about then didn't then

then [ __ ] own it because I think

that's gonna be more attractive than you


feigning sheepish this about it or some

[ __ ] you know what I mean it's like it's

just bad and it rubs B it rubs me really

wrong it's right to manufacture a

reaction um that's what this is and I

mean that's not what you should be

trying oh don't don't don't manufacture

anything like this like this is just

[ __ ]

this is [ __ ] [ __ ] this is a [ __ ]

section this is [ __ ] advice this is [ __ ]

I knew chat was gonna say foot rub say

there's something I have to tell you and

let your partner's see that you have

something important to say so you get

his or her attention don't act too

nervous or your partner will be nervous

- just act nervous enough that your

partner will see that you really care

about what she thinks you know what

maybe if you actually really do care

about what they think you're gonna be

nervous anyway because you might not

want this to tank the budding

relationship so you're probably I'm

saying you you probably wouldn't have to

act or manufacture the nervousness

because you're gonna be nervous anyway

because obviously if it got to this

point you want this to go well so I

don't know you might not need to act

nervous or or maybe just just I don't

know but if you aren't nervous about it

then don't pretend to be nervous about

it because that thought [ __ ] that's just

dog [ __ ] all right that's what I'm

saying like Delta good Yeller no no no I

was just going to agree it's like yeah

this is this is just really

some manipulative and like this is what

I was reacting to you by the way I was

like oh right this article gets really

disgusting you know bit like the you

know sociopath is what like like feet

like gross feet give me the object

response this gives me like the disgust

in my soul yeah yeah yeah this is a

deeper and he doesn't mean the sole of

his foot chat before you go there no

this is a deeper displeasure a different

displeasure spit it out

can't keep that foot in your mouth

forever be honest just say hey I have a

thing for feet yeah but didn't you just

directly contradict that it or I want

you to know that I have a foot fetish

well the year you know what this this is

written by a person who hasn't like who

wants that sort of reaction but also

wants that honesty they want the other

person to react the way that they want

it's like they're trying to take the

license like the humanity away from the

other person yes like they want them to

react a certain way but they want it to

be genuine it's they they right so they

wanna it's like you said they're in the

last dream they want to make the other

person into a vending machine where you

push the buttons and you get the result

but they want to have their cake and eat

it you can see yeah they won't they want

to happen they want to have their kink

and eat it too son of a [ __ ] agency

yeah T's taking away our agency is wrong

is a perfect way to put it strongest

among this says if you're already in a

relationship be honest and frank about

fetishes if you were single save

yourself the time and search for love

with that on your sleeve that's the

[ __ ] that's the way to go

that right there is the way to go always

be forthcoming and if someone is worth


they stay I'm saying it shouldn't be

like two months in I have a foot fetish

again I'm thinking like third date tops

they know you have a foot fetish and

then it's up to them to decide whether

or not they're okay with that

that's what I think yep

it makes acceptance on both sides

there's no need to say why or how long

you've had it or how much you love sexy

sexy feel like [ __ ] control your foot

thirst [ __ ]

but once for one sentence please just

tell your page manipulative just tell

your partner let it out and feel the

relief of finally fessing up flood over

you know because they shouldn't you

shouldn't need to get to that point

right all Selenia it's the the

manipulating [ __ ] it's only gonna lead

to disaster it's not good don't do it

treat them like a person it's like I've

been saying this forever I got it from

Jesus treat people how you want to be

treated I think it's [ __ ] brilliant

like I wouldn't want some the feeling of

somebody manipulating me make eye

contact look at their face wait for a

reaction if you hear nothing you can ask

what do you think but generally it's a

good idea to give your partner some time

to process the news so you know B learn

to be okay with the awkward vacant stare

as they slowly process the weird [ __ ] I

really don't want to scroll down any

more right now you got one more section

guys this is just gonna be foot porn

this is an image of foot porn

look at that look at the way that all

everything comes so tall the feet all

the toes are cut off and there's only

one foot I spoke too soon

yes you see how he's looking at the foot

he's like eating he doesn't give a [ __ ]

about the rest of her body like just

give us just just give him a pair of

feet and he's fine you know the perfect

woman it's like the old Boomer joke the

perfect woman oh my god yeah I should

ask you something or some dumb [ __ ] but

it's just it's just a pair of feet react

appropriately to your partner's feelings

there are a few ways that this news can

be taken the best-case scenario is if

your partner says really that's kinky I

don't mind at all

it's never happened however it's more

likely that your partner will want more

information or won't quite know how to

react ensure it's happened the worst

case scenario is if your partner is

completely not accepting of your fetish

and thinks that feet are completely

gross like most people I was gonna say

normal people won't want me there's no

any chance of getting that reaction yeah

big odds big odds you're gonna get that

reaction assuming that this is a man or

a woman which it seems to be that has

been the approach so far it's a safe

assumption and when we were looking at

those stats before it didn't necessarily

say that you know 19 and 20 women are

gonna think that feet are disgusting and

be completely repulsed by repulsed by

this right but I think it's good odds

good odds you've said your piece though

and now it's time to be mature and deal

with your partner's reaction in a calm

and adult fashion because the approach

to this has been so mature you know yeah

pretend to be nervous pretend to act and

act nervous

whatever happens you should be proud of

yourself for being honest if your

partner accepts your foot fetish on the

spot great prepare for a night of kinky

fun [ __ ] you if your partner has some

time to do it did take things slow nah

but I got to go fast don't try to touch

his or her feet too much during your

next kissing session wait for your

partner to give you the green light if

your partner is flat-out not into it

there's no need to not try to force it

excuse me after all life is short and

you have a foot fetish life is short and

you have a foot fetish so just ignore

the fact that they don't want you

messing around with their feet and do it

anyway it's a typo what it's up to you

to decide if you can handle a

relationship that doesn't allow you to

indulge your foot fetish there is also a

chance that over time they will warm up

to it and become curious after a while

I'm here to tell you there's

don't say in a relationship on the off

chance that your partner will eventually

develop a foot fetish that is an awful

[ __ ] idea that is an awful [ __ ] oh

my god really I might actually be the

worst piece of advice that I've gotten

from any of these articles so far if you

know I don't know I mean I guess it's

your choice if you want to date somebody

who's not interested in indulging

whatever kinks you you have but I don't

know that I don't think that's a good

idea at all like listen I know there's

other things that go into a relationship

there might be other things that you

really like about this person but sex

stuff is really important in a

relationship there's some people yeah so

so today they got to dip their toes in

the water and try it out ban yourself

and yourself um hold on my tinnitus is

insane right now that's okay

holy [ __ ] wow I oh this is like the

worst tinnitus I ever had in my life

what the [ __ ] oh it is like one of your

oh my it just suddenly like it's really

loud and becomes hard to hear out of

that year oh yeah it's a ring mom yeah

well I'm saying if it gets really bad

intermittently it might just be your

inner ear draining sinuses I think it

might be I I've been happy I have gonna

have it sinus issues yep yep that's

probably it you're fine

so anyway yeah I mean I don't know if

there's anything left to [ __ ] say

about this other than I hate it okay

just to tone itis you know more Guiteau

says oh I feel you Mike my oh I thought

you said Mike tends to get very loud

randomly as well I've misread that well

it's true I do

for the record I'm very afraid of this

Q&A I'm very afraid of this Q&A


do we have to now what the [ __ ] if a

girl agrees to engage in my fetish with

me but prefers to use socks oh man I

feel like socks who just would would

ruin it if you had a foot cake like

would they be like oh my why bother

yeah like socks are how feet become

bearable for me don't you think like we

need the socks

yes foot condoms that guilt meat that

guilt be sawed socks can make feet okay


should I tell her I like oh my gosh we

don't use foot condoms in this house

well I mean I love how do I admit to a

foot fetish to my parents do you need to

do you need to the answer you don't need

to share this info with your parents or

anyone else for that matter if you feel

like you want to talk about it with

anyone sitting down for a one-on-one

conversation do you really suck you need

to you know it's like I imagine myself

as a parent you know my kid comes to me

like dad I really got to talk to you

about something you know son what is it

UK trans are already you that are you um

are you a libertarian I mean that would

suck but whatever whatever it is

whatever it is whatever it is I love you

and I accept you no matter what I have a

foot cake to be Jesus Christ dude get

the [ __ ] out now the net now that that

that seems like a ridiculous one the

next one I can kind of see it I am into

some of my relatives

I know she's elbows gonna be [ __ ]


oh [ __ ] how should I tell them so I

won't get a negative reply so the answer

is don't tell them right no no okay uh

Roscoe is asking I can kind of see it no

I could see I could kind of see you

kicking your child out for saying this

to them that's what I was saying it was

a tie guy wouldn't for the record it was

just a joke don't don't tell your

relatives that you are sexually

stimulated by their feet I would say why

are you telling me this

I'd be bad be like I didn't need this

info I didn't need you will get a

negative reply it doesn't matter how you

say it

keep your foot fetish between yourself

and your sexual partners who should not

be related to you okay well at least

[ __ ] so that was a real question that

was a real question from a real person l

was a real question

uh-huh I [ __ ] I didn't know I was

capable of like does this level of

hatred for something that I saw with my

eyes but here we are this is ivory I

believe I really hate that I I hate that

it's like when we looked at those the

pictures of the photo shops with the the

[ __ ] you know World War two with the

My Little Pony and [ __ ] where it was

like I hated that I hate this almost as

much as I hated that that's that's an

intense amount to hate cuz I really

[ __ ] hated that how can I practice my

fetish what does that mean this one of

these has a really weird answer binaural

beats to have a foot kink

all right a little bit further down a

sock we have someone asking about the

sock fetish yeah yeah you guys you guys

are asking about it he has a foot fetish

how do I stop him asking me for foot

pics are you [ __ ] kidding me it has

to be a joke right it has to be it's a

pretty it's a pretty standard response

the the next one the next one is really

baffling not that the question is a

little bit weird but the answer is

absolutely baffling to me what if I have

been with my partner since first grade

can I tell her in sixth grade

what's also already kind of a weird yeah

a questions weird the answer might be

weirder you can tell her if you stay

with her to the legal driving age wait

what state are we in I don't know I feel

like that's you know that's important

because the different states have

different laws concerning um you know

when you can tell your partner about a

foot kink is that yeah why driving age

you can tell her if you stay with her to

the legal drive what is the legal

driving age have to do with any of this

that was the joke that I was kind of

trying to make ya know I'm like yeah I'm

trying I know I'm you follow I'm too

baffled to laugh

until then presume it's not appropriate

to share such information and maybe

overwhelming for I I don't I I can't

process this at all I don't I don't

understand I don't get it is it a real

question 16 right it must be like 16 cuz

that's when you like you can do the sex

but that's I didn't think that if you're

a minor with a minor I thought it was

like I don't know aged in wonder at that

point and I don't what the [ __ ] maybe

it's a good thing that I don't know

these laws right

you think it's a good song age of

consent and you know what chat know this

is somebody I know that knows this I

don't want to know I don't want to know

was that own even though the legal

driving age because diligo in its 16

that is because the legal driving age is

60 no fairies are the permit varies but

it varies by state ya know it we're

getting caught up in this we don't know

the answer this is stupid I think this

person got confused and they made me

even more confused how could I tell my

girlfriend that I love her feet I feel

like that we just had the whole article

dedicated to this great roll up well no

don't cuz again there's really bad

advice in there oh well yes well you

should have told her when you started

dating her yeah how can I know if I have

a foot fetish I feel like you just know

wouldn't you Wow um I get a boner when I

see feet opening shut case right or

wrong yeah yeah I I feel like that's for

me the only time that you might be going

like oh do I have a foot fetish and you

like need help figuring it out is if is

if a partner's trying to pressure you

into it right or like maybe your partner

has a foot fetish but that's my thought

is like you're trying to please your

partner right again I think you'd know

like I think yeah you would know you

would know but like when you're trying

to please a partner those feelings can

get weird you don't need to get like

like a master detective on the case here

like what a close friend understand my

fetish it's possible if she's a good

friend she will accept it even if she

doesn't quite understand it

I was joking before if Fred admitted his

foot fetish that he definitely has to me

I wouldn't be like what's wrong what you

don't like that I am going I am going to

sand the calluses off of my feet and

throw the powder in your face okay now I

she have to go vomit now I actually out

you [ __ ] that was the vilest [ __ ]

thing a human another human being has

ever said to me like you can make a joke

about like blowing a load on my on my

face and I'll laugh you make a [ __ ]

joke about about [ __ ] foot powder in my

in my in my face I'm done my [ __ ]

okay all inherence my parents had a hot

tub and my [ __ ] dad would would like

take one of those Calais stones and like

use it on his feet in the hot tub let me

tell you something Fred do you have a

good relationship with your father

yeah I I think you like that cuz he's a

scumbag yeah your dad your dad's a

scumbag he's a scumbag for doing that

yes like other people we're gonna you're

gonna use that yeah oh my god what the

foot no no even left the stone in the

hot tub he did it so often oh my god you

need to disown your father this is not

like ah what the hell

what the [ __ ] did see and and this goes

back to why I don't go and [ __ ] hot

tubs with other people and I don't go on

public pools and because there's all

kinds of gross [ __ ] [ __ ] going on

that like I don't know about and it's

like no [ __ ] you have another article uh

yeah I have one actually with no images

if you are okay with that uh yeah I mean

the images are hilarious most of the

time but you know what my eyes need a

break after this last article yeah yeah

all right um this will be this will be a

great article free then here you go

let's take a look you are a actual son

of a [ __ ] how to tickle feet you can

tickle feet by light lighting touching a

person's feet with a feather soft

bristled brush

or even your fingers there are a few

techniques for getting the best results

when it comes to tickling feet just make

sure you're not tickling someone too

much against their will or there may be

a lot of kicking involved why does this

need to be a wiki how article I asked

the exact same thing approaching you a

friend and I found the victim tool the

fingers are gets that's so playful the

fingers are very effective for tickling

and have been used for this process for

centuries and I like how they're they're

not confident that tickling has been a

thing for longer than 900 years and so

and so they have to qualify or take part

in the historic practice of foot

tickling however if you want to mix

things up a feather or a soft bristle

brush can also help you use some

tickling tactics it's up to you just to

be clear there this is sexual right i

you're gonna have to answer that for

yourself try this sneak tickle attack

when your victim is lying down this is a

resounding a really good article like

you might as well just change the title

to be how to get someone to despise you

yeah the perfect time to tickle a

person's feet is when the person is

lying down oblivious and the feet are

already exposed if the person is on the

couch tanning on a fold-out chair lying

on a picnic basket or just hanging out

in bed try to come up to the person and

be perfectly natural as you move closer

to their feet and start making them hate

life alternately you can just start

tickling when the person isn't looking

this will definitely surprise the person

and make them shriek with terror and

confusion I want to ask everyone

something and this is a question for you

too Mike mmm did you have that friend

who I'm sure you're already envisioning

him now who when you're hanging out with

him or her I remember there was

rolling out with I think in elementary

school to physical you hang out with

them and just occasionally would punch

you yeah like you're just chilling we

talked or they'd start tickling you I

were just [ __ ] whatever hate that I

do not want to be touched unless I very

obviously indicate to you that I want to

be touched yeah today the the Zoomers

call it a vibe check yeah I [ __ ]

despise that you know like the playful

punch it's like nah don't don't don't

don't touch me okay don't do that it's

like it's like now if I just you know if

I was playing a sport with you and I did

something good it's like you know a hit

on the shoulder the boy right like that

thought that might be acceptable cuz I'm

like I'm primed maybe like you know I've

got the adrenaline going a show maybe

like I'd be fine with that um generally

right as long as it's not too hard you

know I'd not like to be bruised by it

but like it gets to the point with these

people that every time they're in the

same room as you you cringe a little bit

to get ready yeah yeah are they're doing

that [ __ ] abso-fuckin'-lutely in not in

Catholic school I had teachers that

would like you know slap you on the back

really hard or punch you or like you

know [ __ ] that guy there's a guy who

would like we'd like pinch you it's like

why did you pinch me yeah it's like guys

if if you have a friend that always kind

of like rubs their shoulder when you do

that or doesn't really smile they don't

like it you're not being endearing yeah

don't do that it's just annoying don't

do that it's [ __ ] annoying and it

puts people on edge just annoying yeah I

had more than a few friends like that

you ever watch Seinfeld uh very little

Elaine the character of Aleen that's one

of her like her tics that makes

everybody hate her does that and like

she'll do it to Jerry and hope you like

please stop doing that and like you

could see the thickness like the

discomfort and like the irritation on

their face every time she does it it's a

show about very extremely unlikable

people shitty people right

and they I think they just latched on to

that for one of the characters do the

sleeping tickle prank if you really have

no mercy and are a complete scumbag and

are at a sleepover or the person is

taking a nap and you don't mind if this

person hates you forever wait until the

person has drifted off to start lightly

tickling the feet with your fingers or a

feather keep doing this until the person

wakes up still confused about what's

going on and let the laughter ensue

warning the person is likely to be

pretty annoyed so make sure you didn't

wake them out of a deep sleep you think

so you think the person's gonna be

slightly annoyed oh wow I was asleep and

I was having a dream that you were a

[ __ ] [ __ ] head wouldn't happy crazy

that's true oh my god I'm a [ __ ]

prophet put the feet in a foot lock not

a shoe store foot lock let the lancing

shoe as your as your friend knocks some

of your [ __ ] teeth out as he punches

you as hard as he can in the [ __ ] jaw

because you just tickled his feet while

he was [ __ ] stage 3 REM instead of

the headlock get down by the person's

feet and wrap your arms around them

until the victim cannot get loose wow

this this is a assault now we're gettin

there you only need one hand to hold

down the feet in the other to do the

tickling you won't have very much time

to get in this position so quickly sit

near the person's knees or calves to

start getting control of them do we have

to finish this article no I was about to

say I think that we can move on you'll

have your like we've got it towards

their feet this is okay so we just well

just cruise through it tickling with

skill tickle between the two

find the persons sweet spot start a

tickle fight

yeah you ever see that documentary about

that the the tickle tickle fight no but

I heard it was really [ __ ] up it is a

intense [ __ ] documentary I cannot for

the life

it's called tickle fight um and it's

it's it's wild because it's those

tickled tickled sorry

tickled thank you so many chats the

tickle fight and sound up right so I

just ran with it but it's like it

explodes into this like international

conspiracy [ __ ] thing that's like a

lot of it doesn't even have to do with

the actual [ __ ] tickle by it's [ __ ]

nuts yeah it's it's tickle yeah yeah um

you want to move on yeah let's keep


um you're ready to get back into the

funnier weird stuff this is this wasn't

weird yeah got you good yeah it's like

that the funnier weird stuff okay well

it's running out what we're actually

running out I've got one more that I

really want to show you the other one is

like okay maybe and it's not for uh it's

not foot-related but it is relationship

related okay okay uh let's just dive in

is everyone you you might go go for it

how to deal with a boyfriend who is

obsessed with your but whatever your

friends change but two feet cuz that was

the conversation that we had or we might

as well just stay keep it on feet just

as you're reading this replaced spot

with me what wait a minute what

co-authored by Paul churned yak LPC

licensed professional counselor Google

the smother us this guy Google this

[ __ ]

I am lotus Wellness Center Lotus

Wellness Center offers a wide range of

services relating

health and wellness to the northwest

suburbs of where you know the north the

Northwest Suburbs paletine Barrington

Schaumburg Arlington Heights Buffalo

Grove Hoffman Estates anyone would say

this is I don't know how patern more

about our specialized approach talented

staff and the benefits of turning to us

for your health and wellness needs toxic

avenger says it's a it's Illinois

Illinois ok paletine not Palpatine see

this guy Paul churn yak you know is not

on the list of people not definitely not

on the list of s men safe to say huh

let me see blog what do you have on your

blog Lotus Wellness Center it loaded it

took a minute

chiropractic so they have chiropractic s

therapy I'm looking for metals from

Balaji how to deal with the boyfriend

who is a rump ologist Illinois Illinois

yes the French I was correct

why choose services um counseling and

psychotherapy hypnotherapy chiropractic

care weird that that's in there too

weight management nutritional counseling

history no cessation hypnotherapy as in

no hips Oh

oh boy

a past life regression therapy there's

the rub and no not the from new I knew

something funky was going on something

was gonna be something like this was

gonna be in there yeah there it is

paradise fulness meditation mindfulness

meditation is not [ __ ]

by the way have to be whoo and there's

also reiki and energy healing well so he

puts like crystals on your balls and

stuff yes that they call it quartz balls

they don't nobody calls the courts balls

it's past life regression therapy huh

weird oh are we about to go down a

rabbit hole I think we're about to go

down may I may I read it to you please


do you have emotional mental or physical

challenges that seemed to linger despite

years of treatment do you have recurring

dreams or nightmares certain phobias or

fears that have been present from

childhood you must be reincarnated have

intense grief experiences after the loss

of a loved one have strong connections

to certain people or places past life

regression therapy and any type of

hypnosis is a very safe non-invasive

process in which your body and mind can

go into a relaxed focused concentration

in order to explore the subconscious

mind this relaxed focused concentration

is similar to meditative trance in which

we go into many times during the day

when you drive and get to your

destination without remembering how you

got there got it it is a completely

natural state during all types of

hypnotherapy you are always in control

you are always free to open your eyes

okay so I was just talking about it let

me find the [ __ ] hold on yeah find the

[ __ ] a storehouse a subconscious mind is

a storehouse quieting the conscious or

reasoning mind


it's wild because ever there being

really vague about it they don't want to

be like yeah we we look into your your

past lives we hypnotize you so we could

find out about you know when you were a

turtle or something in a past life right

yeah yeah no they don't want it out and

say it

do they have insurance oh because they

they can get insurance money what yeah

the [ __ ] insurance company is gonna

cover that garbage good [ __ ] question

no [ __ ] way no way um oh my god let's

see they are currently accepting a Blue

Cross Blue Shield Aetna Humana Magellan

behavioral health all optim a United

Healthcare smart health and medicare

right I'm pretty sure that if you're

reincarnated that that would fall under

a pre-existing condition yeah

safe to say this is bizarre how much

does it cost

um so the past life regression for one

session is a one-hour session is a is

$150 a to our exploration SAS session is

$250 Oh exploration huh that is it's not

cheap not cheap now you're paying out

the ass to explore emotional and

physical blockages fears patterns and

trauma that hold you back from living

your life today he's [ __ ] gonna sit

there and then tell you that yeah you

were a hyena or some [ __ ] or you were

like a [ __ ] French soldier in World

War one and and then and then and then

what and then what and well all you need

to know all you need to know is that

it's this kind of dude who's working for

this kind of place that is writing

about how to deal with a boyfriend who

is obsessed with your but I want to know

how it helps you oh god I just I just

want to know and again I need I need to

point out that everything that you said

in the beginning of that when you

started reading that do you have this

happening to you do you have this

happening to you are you grieving the

loss of a loved one

so all these [ __ ] perfectly normal

things he's gonna try to convince you is

because of something that happened here

in a past life that is because in a past

life you were Shadow the Hedgehog

oh no not here I'm gonna [ __ ] make

the argument that that's irresponsible

that's malpractice

that's that's [ __ ] dangerous that's

that's criminal it's yeah it's like oh

yeah this will help you and then just

like oh but there's no evidence to show

that oh yeah this that's what that's

amore it's crossing into the territory

hardware like pseudoscience becomes

harmful yeah right be good because it's

preventing people from getting care that

could actually help all right so you

want to take this article I did a lot of

reading earlier yeah yeah I'll take some

of this your boyfriend is probably

attracted to a number of your physical

features however attraction can

sometimes border on obsession if your

boyfriend seems obsessed with your but

you may feel uncomfortable or

objectified start to address the

behavior in the moment addressing

problem behaviors as they occur makes

your boundaries clear from there have a

sit-down talk with your boyfriend

explain which behaviors bother you and

why spend some time evaluating the

relationship especially if things do not

change you do not want to waste your

time with someone who only sees you as a

sexual object like if they're just with

you for your fate well well my question

is what is exactly happening here like

what is this situation where this this

guy is so [ __ ] obsessed with your ass

that it's it's it's impacting the

relationship negatively like like are we

gonna or are we gonna because I asked

you I have

not heard of a [ __ ] instance where

this has been a problem for somebody

like like oh my god he's he's too into

my ass like I've not heard of this like

it goes on like it's weirdly specific

okay that's the thing man I mean I think

if you feel objectified in general then

obviously that's that's a bad thing

nobody wants to feel like that but how

big of a problem is this specifically

that it warrants a [ __ ] wikiHow

article on it yeah it's like I think

like he's doing this is he doing this

out of the kindness of his heart for the

small group of people whose boyfriend's

are overly obsessed with there but do

you keep a hand on her ass 24/7 now

that's just impractical she's gonna sit

on it you're good at fingers are gonna

get broken like like who as he as he

surgically attached his fingers to your

buttock like I mean it it's okay if you

know he likes you but I mean there's got

it again there's there's got to be a

point where it starts to become a

problem I'm just curious about where and

what that [ __ ] point is let's fight

let me see none of this is specific I'm

just scrolling down I feel like we don't

have to even dig into this because like

it's just too vague it's it this isn't

specifically about what session like but

baby you go down to Part 2 subsection 3

that is a quality [ __ ] fee like you

know you know when that we know when

they put dio's face onto Pikachu this is

what it looks like

subsection 3 wait wait wait you scroll

past it I saw it

part 2 subsection look at her face Oh

part 2 part 2 section 3 to 3 all that oh

my god what's going on

yeah that's a little odd huh why wasn't

the tiny hint look at a tiny t-rex in

the the the Anatomy on this is

absolutely incredible you know what I

like I like the article about

objectifying women is bad but then make

a drawing with huge boobs boobs that it

looks like the Empress Theresa style of

drawing doesn't it with like the the the

tips of the boobs are extra shiny I

don't think this bed has even seen boobs

or knows what what boobs look like all

right whoever whoever is going to make

the full sauce for like the thumbnail

for the for the full stream of this Kim

can one of the things be this screen

capture of this remarkably like this

person saying I feel demeaned when you

grab my butt in public because it makes

me feel like I'm an object and not a

person like like can that be in the

thumbnail that'll be on full stream that

would be ohm seal on seal kit can that

can that be a thing yeah you call this

like you called it the full sauce and I

did everybody freaking out about it I'm

sorry I'm sorry

well I only called it the full the full

sauce because as everybody knows you're

essentially a bootleg [ __ ] bargain

bin vine sauce in the same way that I'm

bargain bin Ken Burns okay so you don't

want to go through this you don't want

it read through it you know uh I mean

it's also generic yeah right although

some of the images are really good if

you want to except if you want to like

look at these I have a fun game to play

yeah alright and I mean I don't know how

hard it's gonna be cuz

all right let's do it this way I want

you to minimize the article I don't want

you to look at it anymore all right all

right all right now it's what's gonna

happen is I'm gonna send you an image

and then you're gonna you're gonna tell

me what you think the name of the

subsection is based on the image alone

uh defining boundaries oh no I want you

to be a penis about it so let me give

you an example okay okay I see I can be

makeup I can be mega dick you should

really consider joining the no s is a

loud club we're an exclusive group that

doesn't allow asses and what happens we

will actually shave off your ass after

you join um based on your just have a

poop hole like you'll have a flat

surface with a poop hole you know that

you have an s I've got one I've got one

that this is how to join the no poop

movement we're like no fat but we take

you to the next level

it's no fat but it's no poop it's the no

poop movement all right why do you mean

yourself with the act of pooping let me

give you let me give you another one I

want to see I already know where I would

go with this how to tell your boyfriend

to stop varnishing your tits okay good

one I'm gonna go with [ __ ] cuz I have to

[ __ ] frame it in the chit

I [ __ ] up my own game but this one

this Y was good to say don't you ever

bring that we miss it here again mister

that is a disgusting elbow and that is

not welcome here you hear me you get

that elbow out of here right now

don't you point that elbow at me mister

all right oh oh my [ __ ] god orange

fresh cleaner says that's not what they

mean by finishing on her boobs Jesus


I feel the meat cut that face I'm sorry

what why is it so I can't explain it

right oh this one [ __ ] I don't know

that the face of the one like I feel

demeaned yeah yeah I don't I don't I

don't it's it's disturbing and weird it

looks like the Pikachu with dioz face

you want to try another one of these I

got a good one yeah yeah let's go how to

say ass in 15 different languages okay

that's good that's good

how to say ass in French the language of

love I just want you to know I'm saying

hi to your butt and not you well I guess

that's the problem I guess my support by

article right hi I'm listen I'm

fortnight ninja and I love s listen I

just want pics of your sexy sexy feet oh

I took a turn I can't get over that

you're sexy six yeah it was [ __ ] very

obvious what was going on how about this

one um how to cycle out boyfriends how

to retweet boyfriends so I was really

mad because your your BOTS smelled bad

but now I'm happy because I bought some

flowers that smell really good to cancel

out the butt smell oh my god no nerd

dude I'm having your flashbacks to the

Garden of Earthly Delights exactly I got

some flowers for your ass it's just kind

of you know counteract the unfortunate

stench coming from there

oh my god all right that's all I got

what if a boy kisses my butt what do I


what if a boy kisses my butts well do

you mean that figuratively oh they mean

it literally okay now that's bad there's

not enough context right it's like well

the digit is it your boyfriend did this

happen randomly in the street the quick

what what's the context I love this

answer if this is a boy you do not know

and you are uncomfortable tell him to

stop and get out of there it's like

spraying the [ __ ] cat with the water

bottle get out of there you I mean I'm

surprised like again like the person who

asked this they just didn't give more

information I mean the person who got

the question was like well you didn't

gay obviously getting give me enough

information oh so what part of the but

was it the whole was it you know yeah

this is important to know yeah boy this

is your but that's no good

that's no good all right so I don't know

do you uh you don't have any other ones

um I have one more that was like sort of

a sort of on the fence about but I

pretty much got everything to you that I

really wanted to okay let me see your

fence article all right all right

it's here you go how to seduce someone

using only your eyes you got to pop them

out of your head and like that I don't

know what like like the crone like like

the Crone from the Dark Crystal right

right yeah you got to pop Mattie your

head and use them as truck nuts I still

need to watch Dark Crystal but to the

series oh that the [ __ ] the new one the

Netflix the Netflix yeah oh my god you

didn't watch a thing it's a really

I really got to just pull the trigger

and get a Netflix account and watch some

stuff how to seduce someone using only

your eyes eyes can be a powerful tool

when it comes to seduction

there are several ways you can use your

eyes to display attraction and get

someone interested in you make initial

eye contact and from there make the most

of your gaze making initial eye contact

make sure to really stare at somebody

awkwardly for a long period of time just

stared a gauze into their very [ __ ]

soul Dreamworks face oh my [ __ ] gut

what character is that what that really

is a [ __ ] DreamWorks face yeah that

was someone it that that was dude wait

bungle bungles Saratov uncle sarah tops

III I think that like I feel so strongly

I've seen that somewhere before

that I think this might be traced oh


almost all images do you think we could

find what this was traced from I I

wouldn't even know where to start

oh wait a minute what about the reverse

image search with that wait up - wait

wait wait a [ __ ] dick yeah wait wait

no no no I'm no no no that I'm gonna

work I'm thinking that the next image

looks almost exactly the same also he's

definitely got a lazy eye how to seduce

someone with using your eyes do it of

course he's got a lazy eye mummy's help

me get a lazy eye how to communicate

that you're having a stroke it's not a

lazy eye it's a yeah it's a full-on

stroke so I'm saying the beast in human

form the Beast in Hue right no respect

to Saurus what's with all the soros is a

lot of dinosaurs in the chef bungle

Saratov dices the Dino heavy traffic to

Soros it is I love dinosaurs beast a

beast in human form

now that's Disney that's not

works but right no no no no I just

remembered I just remembered no no no I

remember the reason why I wanted to show

you this article okay I remember I want

you scroll down to heart fought to

section five of method one got it look

at the image yeah it's it's stupid in

bed look at it look at the image now

that's the [ __ ] same [ __ ]

guy from the other [ __ ] [ __ ]

article you [ __ ] bet that's the

reason I wanted to show this to you you


[ __ ] look at all these [ __ ]

scumbags oh my god the balls the balls

that pisses me off that makes me

irrationally angry Ricky how to copy

paste copy paste so this is the original

one and you could see that they just

drew like a punk rock jacket over and

the [ __ ] they didn't even erase the line

you see that line yeah wow that's

[ __ ] lazy and disgusting Ross the

boss he flamp baby thank you for 16

months support it's just the low effort

Ness of it oh well know what look look

the hair is identical but they did you

they did give him a bunch of piercings

alright so he's got an earring he's got

a nose ring he's got an eyebrow ring

alright they gave him the hot topic

[ __ ]

uhm this [ __ ] studs oh oh how often

does this happen uh everywhere if you

look [ __ ] everywhere how many times

did we see this and not even notice it

let's go back through the articles of

tonight let's see if we can find any

more Gaius Baltar says there's a whole

story behind the handful of people who

do art for this

can I get a cliff notes what's the story

I do know that well at one point they

were like what what they do is they

don't want to pay for stock images so

they have people trace them well

obviously look at that's the basics of

it yes she just ripped this and he's

into it that man's a [ __ ] that mine's

a [ __ ] elf that man is an elf

it could be a a Vulcan you want to bring

back our truck tonight holy [ __ ] I hate

his lips I hate him what's going on

under his eye what is going on under his

eyes I'm kind of like like maybe tattoos

to indicate like he's in a gang or

something yep I've killed three people

in prison exactly oh that's odd

III want to see if we can find more I

wonder if we can clicking through

articles that will find more so the girl

I like to imagine that the girl on the

on the left here only has those two

teeth in her mouth like that's it huh

those are the only two yeah and I like

to imagine that this guy here um

his [ __ ] hair is flesh like in like

it's meat like it's not hair it's just

like it's just like a meat sheath what

what Mike I they're just a couple it's a

membrane images that I've got it for

skin he's got foreskin on his head go

ahead sorry that they're just a couple

like I'm gonna show you this I I saw

this one before to the faces on this one

don't stare directly into her nostrils

real but the hair is in there is just

hypnotic enough all right no when a man

is attracted to you so this is for the

ages I don't care yeah yeah I'm not

worried about like what it's saying is

all generic just look at the [ __ ]

faces we saw this I got an article

identical to this one last time anyway

right yeah that face maybe this is the

maybe this is the thumbnail image oh my

god he's horrified it gets worse look at

his who the [ __ ] holds a cup like this

what Oh anarchic artistry saying it

looks like Robert Pattinson in Twilight

the hair the hair yeah he's also very

pale vampire God look at that

your coffee Queen it's just so you're

battling it's weird yeah he's got lot

one like very stubby arm he's a little

look at he's a mutant go down to number


isn't that the guy who sells ShamWow a

little bit but this is the youtuber

thumbnail face this is Jimmy sighs Jimmy

Neutron now be careful who you make fun

of in high school nup number six I also

adore he face it's just shroud that

Shrek dude that straight-up track beyond

the I brought you some flowers

this is [ __ ] why I just shave a so

small I just shaved me chest and arms

his face is so small Canadian Shrek the

the smile on the next one - who smiles

like that human Shrek right because at

one point shrek is a human human shrek

wow that's a lot of porn oh no wait let

me get a good one

let me get a good one on let me get a

good mic hold on you doing


hold on let me work my magic no it

really is just human I think it might

actually oh my god you're right yeah

he's missing like that jheri curl though

or whatever you know he is yes sometimes

they give them different hair like that

perfectly like round chin you know

mm-hmm he he looks he looks like he's

about to ask if he can see your bedroom

and then flip through your vinyl

collection disturbingly accurate yes

space well dude family soon

thank you for the sub wailed on he

doesn't have Victor but chin thing

though airborne he doesn't know he

doesn't mean line there he looked his

face looks like a potato that someone

drew on that somebody drew one yeah she

did I was thinking that too skull

gesture she just ripped ripped ass

ripped a big one


number seven but he's fought like some

people only smile like that when they're

in danger why do you think she's in

danger I like to think it's because this

man has the head of a velociraptor like

we can't see it cuz it's just out of


let's have some fun with it now what are

you doing let's have some fun with it

no no let's have some fun with it Fred

let's have some fun with it life is


all right life is short and you have a

foot fetish

here's wife's memory is why she looks

like that you like that it's good that's

why she looks like she's in danger this

is the quality content that people come

to your stream for yeah quality's a word

that's doing a lot of work in that

sentence all right number eight

see if he Prem's around you let's

literally just trace from it like a JC

Penny absolutely is that that guys yeah

like a like a shirt model 100% yeah god

damn see if he walks at the same pace as

you I think I think I've seen this image

somewhere Fred I like years ago when I

like when I was in a JCPenney oh the

last one yeah I feel like I seen it too

it's just one of those images that was

definitely traced I mean good luck

finding that but they made I get maybe a

reverse image search

what try it no it's not gonna help now

you don't think so oh well you know I'll

search google flirt frame it I'll do it

right now so I wanted to see that friend

I kiddin anything I once walked at the

same pace as you so does that mean that

I'm attracted to you that I feel like

that's just something you do when you're

walking with someone the point that I'm

trying to make like I walk faster so go

[ __ ] yourself hey Susie I was trying to

talk to you you're like six feet in

front of me making it hard go [ __ ]


oh wait you can't hear me cuz you're all

the way back there I'm superior Ethan

the outsider really wants you to know

that his wife left him for Lucario is

not good yeah that's what I said did it

did it did I did I tell you about the

time that someone actually liked that

someone when someone's partner actually

broke up with them for a fix

character because the fictitious

character his dick was bigger oh you did

tell me I'll tell you about that you

know and it wasn't it was I'm actually

happy it wasn't a man actually not a

meme not a meme not a meme so that's why

you dumped me Fred

that actually yes I Lucario just I know

that it looks flat down there but boy

growers our thing rowers are a thing

that's why you dumped me for Lucario

it's a meme now Glen blanston you know

dirt gern blanston man I beep that name

Oh her eyes that the one just before

that the woman so like fart to section

one you know how when you see like

childlike drawings of a crescent moon

with a face yeah that's literally what

oh right yeah on the right yeah like if

I look up I'm gonna check something now

and it it looks exactly like that you

think you're saying that cuz the chin

primarily bacon bro well back to the

frame but thank you for 22 months anyway

you may continue yeah her eyes are

yeah that is terrifying it's a little

spoopy caption this chat chat let's make

it interactive caption this image when

you remove your eyelids caption contest

chat go

I know what you did I'm gonna eat his

eyelids and add when I see you I put a

hex on his testicles but your girl got

that thick neck when you have a lucario

dick size baguette for a pony I know you

want to suck my toes when he doesn't

know you stole his shoes so he can't

cover his feet so hard okay part 2

section 3 the next section I don't know

what you want a definition caged Mike

Mattei pertaining with the party of 105

Mike thank you song for the raid buddy I

hope you're having a good night now I

don't know the definition of the word

should but that man looks like the word

chug sad yet bright exactly he looks the

way the word chug sounds phonetically

right like if you were to drop him long

to the ground yeah that's the sound he

would make chart should short damn

are you connecting choke not chode chud

mm-hmm Judd is an acronym for

cannibalistic humanoid underground

dweller I don't think that's real is it

real it could be real multiple Pino

someone else sort of said that too No

so then like I have heard the term ID

you know what I'm gonna look it up hold

on how often is that word getting used

in the proper context yeah it's real

they're not [ __ ] with me oh it's

felony he's a 1984 and chud is a 1984

American science fiction horror film

directed by Douglas cheek the title of

the movie scenes for cannibalistic

humanoid underground dwellers no [ __ ]

yeah is it's it's like some pickman's

model style creepy things

I'm sorry pikmin have you have you ever

read the story pickman's model uh I

thought you were talking about the

[ __ ] Nintendo game dude no nope P IC

k ma n pickman's model what is that it

is a Lovecraft story you know what you

got to refresh my memory a little bit

more because I read a lot of Lovecraft

um it's about a painter who gets kicked

out of painting societies because he

creates these disturbing paintings of

creepy like things like humanoid white

like pale white creatures they come to

life Oh some [ __ ] it turns out that they

actually like exist they exist I have a