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How To Live a More Fulfilling and Happy Life



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we need a week of programs for today's

resolution to be the kind of woman who

truly blesses her man look at the

wording I will be faithful to my husband

and honor him in my conduct and

conversation in order to bring glory to

the name of the Lord I will aspire to be

a suitable partner for him to help him

reach his god-given potential for Silla

Shire has been making this her goal for

12 years I'm sure you have been

fulfilling your husband for 12 years I

should tell you beyond a shadow of a

doubt that there have been several

seasons of our marriage where I have not

been fulfilling my husband in the way

that he would like to be fulfilled and I

think if you were to just ask your

husband in fact that's the best way to

figure out how to fulfill your man it

should just say to him what is it that

you need to feel loved and admired by me

I bet we know what will be at the top of

all of their lists I'm pretty sure we

can and we do yeah very clear on that

and that's okay because like we feel

fulfilled when they engage in

conversation with us maybe spend quality

time with us that same feeling of

fulfillment and IDI and umm completion

as a woman almost you just come makes

you feel like you can take on the world

when your man is with you in that way

that's the same way he feels when we

love him in a way that is specific to

his love language so we all know that

you know we're kind of clear on that so

I didn't spend a whole lot of time

talking about sex in the book I just

didn't do this

we already I mean what do we really need

to discuss this we already know that

that is a way that we can bless our men

and so I say just get after that part I

mean just go ahead and get after it and

be a blessing to your husband but kind

of a way that we talked about a little

bit less is our conversation to our

husband and our conversation about our

husband if you were having a

conversation the issue isn't if you're

having a conversation with another

girlfriend the two of you are chuckling

in a corner is your husband for sure

that that conversation is not about him

well he know just because of the

confidence that he has in you as his

wife as someone that's got his back can

he be assured of the fact that that

conversation that little giggle between

two women he knows his wife is not

talking about him behind his back as he

that secure in you

he should be that secure in us

that's a way that they are fulfilled

when they know that their wives are

honoring them not only in their conduct

but also in their conversation and this

is so amplified when you highlight the

man's two greatest fears

absolutely and listen I did not come up

with these fears one of my friends and

mentors Miss Kay Arthur who's been

teaching the Bible for 50 years I mean

goodness gracious she's just a treasure

she said this to me once she said

Priscilla a man's greatest fears two of

them the fear of being controlled by a

woman and the fear of being found

inadequate well when you know going into

a relationship with your husband are

currently in a relationship with your

husband when you know upfront that those

are his two fears that somebody's going

to figure out he's inadequate or that

he'll be controlled by a woman then you

can go into your relationship and spend

your time trying to dispel those fears

to let him know that you do not want to

control him that you trust him that he

is your hero that he that you really

believe he can accomplish the task at

hand

even if you do have some reservations

about that even if you do think you

might be able to handle something better

than he can when you dispel his fear you

will find that the repercussions of him

knowing that you believe in him and

don't want to control him but want to

honor him and place faith in him the

repercussions of that really come back

on you a hundredfold of a man who really

feels like he's married to a woman that

believes he's capable and then if he

recognizes that that you really care for

him even in spite of his inadequacy

inadequacies that you're not going to be

pointing them out bringing his

weaknesses to the forefront Milley

aiding him humiliating him because the

thing is he knows he's inadequate in

different areas just like you and I know

we're inadequate in different areas

nobody like someone who will point out

their inadequacies and make a huge

spectacle out of them but oftentimes

don't we do that we kind of bring their

weaknesses to the forefront over and

over and over again and you and I

wouldn't want to be married to somebody

like that so we shouldn't be those kind

of wives to be married it really

emasculates them the male ego needs

support

it does and that's part of the reason

we're there you know the day after my

husband proposed to me over 22 years ago

he came to visit and he had cold feet

all over his face

oh oh cuz we thinking this yeah and I

said what are you afraid of do you know

what he said

loss of control hmm you see it's wired

right into the man and what happens to

the man when we usurp that position they

relinquished the position and it becomes

frustrating for us because what happens

is now we've got to take on this

leadership position because our husbands

aren't doing and we're upset because

they're not doing it and we're pointing

a figure you need to lead but really

it's the exact position we snatched

right out of their hands and so then

we're frustrating because we're taking

on a role that we were never meant to

take on but we're the ones who snatched

it out of their hands and they shut down

and they shut down and it doesn't mean

that we excuse the fact that they have

shut down they need to be encouraged to

continue to step up into that position

regardless of what their wives are doing

so I'm not excusing that but the

resolution for women is a book not

written for your husband it is written

for you so I'm challenging wives to give

back that position of leadership to your

husband now he's showing no signs of

initiative right no interest whatever in

in whatever aspect of yes what do you do

now it will be I'm not saying that this

is an easy task

but in small ways if you can begin to

give back the control we're something he

would expect you to do because you've

been doing it for so long if you just

said oh no babe you you do it you know

what I mean I think I would love to see

how you what decision you're gonna make

regard that what do you want to do if

you begin slowly and surely to put that

control back into their hands you will

find that maybe not immediately but over

time you will begin to see that man's

chest puffing out again in that

particular area

his confidence being restored because

he's got a woman by his side who

actually trusts and believes that he

makes decisions that are worth someone

following you have a 24 Hour Challenge

on page 196 I do do you need to look at

it to do though I remember the challenge

because it was my own personal challenge

for myself it was so hard and it was for

24 hours not to correct or criticize or

try to revamp any decisions that your

husband makes so this means even in

small things if he's the one choosing

what restaurant to go to dinner you

don't say I don't really feel like that

let's go somewhere else or here's the

hard one Moira it's when you're driving

in a

are and you know that the route that

they are choosing is the longest

possible route to get to the destination

and you know that there is an easier

route it is restraining yourself for 24

hours from telling that man how to get

there and where to go but allowing him

to choose his own path or he gets your

little girl dressed and it's a disaster

but you don't correct it you don't put

it all back together you don't get a new

outfit you just let everything be now

I'm going to tell you I had a friend who

did this for 30 days and she did it for

the hardest 30 days of the entire year

it was over the Christmas it was like

over December oh no for 30 days about

your season oh my gosh there's so many

decisions to be made Christmas pictures

to decide on she let him make all the

decisions and in doing so it was so hard

for her but in doing so she saw her

husband's confident confidence rebuilt

in the fact that he believed that he had

a wife that trusted him and the result

of that on a marriage is staggering

there is nothing better than a man that

actually feels like one when you're

married to a man who feels like a man

there are the effects of that they're

gonna benefit you it's not really about

him in the end it's about you win yeah

you win when a man feels like a man the

passion the intimacy that we so desire

all of that ripple effects come back

comes back on us because a man likes to

feel like you're hero like your guardian

and like your protector and so if you'll

give him back the reins of leadership

you will see that you will begin to feel

like the woman that you really want to

feel like in the relationship won't be

easy but it'll be worth it now I have to

squeeze in one goodie from this section

okay because there may be someone who

like you is energetic and effervescent

and they're saying well this biblical

stuff I don't know like the Bible also

says that a beautiful woman has a gentle

and quiet spirit and that's just not who

I am like stuff doesn't fit me oh that

was a problem for you too it sure was I

was thinking God was not being fair when

he wrote that passage or had that

passage written in first Peter because I

mean there is nothing quiet or gentle

about me and so I thought well God if

you didn't make my personality this way

why in the world would you expect that

out of me that's not fair

but if he has it written that means it

is possible by his spirit for every

single one of us regardless of what our

personality currently is to be able to

subject ourselves to that that

particular standard and what I

discovered

is that that gentleness I loved this

description in scripture in the original

languages it talks about gentleness

being the kind of person who really is

able to cause someone to have their load

or their burden lifted it's a load

lifter is what it is if we go into our

relationship with our husbands realizing

that today my responsibility is to lift

the load I'm a load lifter what do I

need to do how can I use my personality

in a way that is conducive to him

helpful to him helps to lift the burden

that he's so carrying as the leader of

this home the protector of this home man

he's got a lot on his shoulders and so

do you my friend but our responsibility

is to be the load lifter to that guy

what can I do to be a blessing to him to

lift that burden off of his shoulders

just a little bit so that what he's

carrying isn't so heavy just a taste of

the insights every page is yummy and I

can say that for both books the

resolution for men the resolution for

women take a look at this I want to know

what God expects of me the resolution

for men by Steven and Alex Kendrick

strategically inspires men to reconcile

with their past re-engage in their

present and move forward with a bold

resolution for the future the resolution

for women by priscilla shirer challenges

all women to be intentional about

thriving in god's calling on their lives

to bless and change things in their

world for the better the resolution for

men and women is a movement intended to

help strengthen your family community

and our nation to become fully resolved

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