the very charming and eloquent Stephen
Fry once said there's nothing I hate
more than a party I've felt this way
many times in my life where I walk into
a party and I didn't really feel
comfortable I felt very much on the
outside looking in on what was going on
I didn't feel integrated I didn't feel
part of the conversations and I just
didn't feel like I was having as much
fun as perhaps I should so I wanted to
do a video for all of you out there who
have had the same experience and want to
know specifically how to get that person
you want to notice you at the party and
I have five ways that are not only going
to get someone to notice you but also
are going to make a party more fun and
make you feel more engaged with the
energy in the atmosphere that's going on
around you because of course it should
be fun number one put yourself in a high
traffic area at the party that means not
doing what a lot of people do where they
go and find a corner of a room to sit
down and they remove themselves
systematically from what's going on you
need to position yourself in a place
where people are walking past you to go
to get a drink or to use the restroom
you're in a high traffic zone which
means you have proximity to everybody
and it's much easier for them to turn
their head and say something than if you
were on the other side of the room they
had to walk over to you number two
position yourself for eye contact now
you may be in a high traffic zone where
lots of people are walking by but it's
still useless if you have your back to
the action you don't want to be the
person for example who's talking to
somebody here and the wall is behind
them so you have your back to the room
you want to be faced out to everybody
else so that if you have a moment where
you can break eye contact with the
person you're with and look out to the
room maybe they're talking to somebody
else and you can kind of stand there and
people watch and make eye contact you
want to be able to do that it not only
gives you a chance to kind of spy people
you're attracted to but it gives people
you're attracted to a chance to see you
and have a moment of connection before
conversation number three adopt a host
mindset the most successful people at
parties are the ones who almost act like
it's their party and I don't mean in an
obnoxious
why I mean they introduced themselves
like they really have a reason to if you
watch the host of a venue or a party
they walk around with this excuse to
talk to people they say hey how are you
having a good night they talk to people
in that manner it's the same way with
owners of restaurants they walk around
to people with tables who don't even
know they're the owner but they say you
know you have it you enjoying your meal
you're having a good time I know I'm
always looking for that person who will
look at me and say hey how are you they
may not be the host but when they behave
like the host I suddenly feel really
greeted in this place I suddenly feel
welcomed we need to be the person that
does that for other people you need no
excuse to talk to other people if you
just have a warm friendly welcoming
energy like the host people will want to
be around you because guess what there
at the party wishing they knew more
people to number four if you want to
avoid small talk talk about things you
actually care about see the opposite of
small talk isn't big talk the opposite
of small talk is passionate talk is talk
about things we actually care about and
are invested in now those don't have to
be big deep and meaningful subjects they
could be silly superficial things but
silly superficial things that actually
entertain us things were invested in you
could start talking to someone where
they say hey how are you and they shake
your hand and you say I'm great I'm
loving the fact that Nellie ride with me
is playing in the background right now I
haven't heard that song in 10 years and
it still was catchy as it was then then
they get to start talking about song
that does it to them or whether they
like that song or not they get to laugh
about it it gets you in at 40 mile an
hour instead of 10 mile an hour where
you say I'm good thanks how are you
number five don't be a caterpillar be a
butterfly I think this is particularly
profound as an idea because the
caterpillar moves very slowly around the
room the butterfly does its little dance
fluttering around the room touching here
touching there showing its beauty
everywhere it goes and there's something
hard to hold on to about the butterfly
you sort of want it to stay but you
never know when it's going to leave and
go to a different spot I think we should
be having interactions frequent and
often and we shouldn't get stuck with
one person now that doesn't mean we kind
of a meaningful conversation with
somebody sometimes we do have a
conversation for 30 minutes with
somebody because we really like their
company and we're having a
right time with them what I don't want
is for us to get stuck with someone just
because it's comfortable if you are
stuck with someone be with them because
it's great and they're enjoyable when
you're having a great time with them but
not because it's now your default
because it's harder to go and meet
somebody else and take a risk to go
through that comfort zone again what
this comes down to is three things that
really make a difference to the amount
of opportunity we create in our love
lives
the first is lifestyle and lifestyle is
the thing that means you're at the party
in the first place because you have that
kind of life the second part is the
ability to be approachable you're the
type of person that people look at and
think huh I'd like to go over to that
person or it would be easy to go over to
that person because they've made it easy
for me and the third part is taking
risks being the kind of person that
values opportunity more than they fear
rejection I have a program called
attract any man that does exactly these
three things it shows you how to create
a rich lifestyle that brings in new men
it shows you how to become approachable
so that wherever you are from the coffee
shop to the bar you're the type of
person that men want to approach and it
shows you how to start taking risks and
be brave enough to do that because
that's not just a competence thing it's
a mindset thing it shows you how to get
over that fear of rejection and actually
start doing things so check it out it's
called attract any man will link it up
here I can't wait to see what you think
of it and as always I will see you in
next week's video thank you so much guys