5 Steps To Influence Like Barack Obama

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What's up everybody? This is Charlie from Charisma on Command and today I want to show

you a video on how to be persuasive when you need people to change, because the truth is,

there are situations in our lives, like our social lives, where you don't have to be persuasive.

If you don't get along with someone, guess what? You can just filter them out of your

life and keep the people that are positive that lift you up.

But in certain situations, particularly the working world, if you're in a large organization

or you just have some people beneath you, where you're trying to get some team to do

something that you want, you are going to have to work with people who disagree with

you, and you can't just filter them out. So you need to know how to be persuasive against

obstinacy. So this video is going to show you Barack Obama speaking on one of the more recent shootings

that happened just a few days ago at the time of this. And he follows these steps very,

very well, regardless of where your politics fall on this issue, there is a lot to learn

from this, so let's dive in.

But, as I said, just a few months ago, and I said a few months before that, and I said

each time we see one of these mass shootings, our thoughts and prayers are not enough.

So what you see right here, this is the first step, is you need to introduce the problem

that you have in your organization, wherever you need people to change, whatever you're

doing is not working. And the first step is going to be to show that to people and associate

pain to the status quo. So just watch what he does here.

It's not enough.

It does not capture the heartache, and grief, and anger that we should feel,

and it does nothing to prevent this carnage from being inflicted some place else in America.

So there you go, there's the problem, there's the current pain. He said, "This is going

to happen again and it's gonna suck, and we should all feel terrible about it." Now, I

wanna bounce around here a little bit because I want to show you as he continues this point

right here to elicit further pain with the status quo.

Somehow this has become routine.

The reporting is routine. My response here at this podium

ends up being routine. The conversation in the aftermath of it, we've become numb to this.

And you see the emotion that he's eliciting is like almost shame or embarrassment at how

frequently this occurs, and he's gonna go running into all these negative cultural feelings

that we have associated with the different times this happened, and _ this right now.

We talked about this after Columbine and Blacksburg, after Tucson, after Newtown, after Aurora,

after Charleston.

It cannot be this easy for somebody who wants to inflict harm on other

people to get his or her hands on a gun.

So there you go. That is step 1. This sucks, what we are living in right now is terrible.

When people don't want to change, the first step is not to tell them how wonderful it

will be when they change or start to do anything else. The first step is to get them moving,

and to do that, you have to make them associate the status quo, the current action or inaction

that they are taking with serious pain. And he does that very well in the opening of this speech.

I am gonna bounce around and go back because I want to make this very clear. He does sort

of go back and forth between some of these steps, but, moving now, I want to show you

the second step, which is going to be handling objections before people actually bring them

up. You do not want to have to wait until after you talk for people to say, "Well, you

didn't cover this or you didn't cover that," or "How are we supposed to do this?" You need

to preemptively handle any objections, and like two-thirds or three-quarters of this speech

is just him handling the objections that he knows he's going to get, so let's check it out.

And it's fair to say that anybody who does this has a sickness in their minds, regardless

of what they think their motivations may be, but we are not the only country on earth that

has people with mental illnesses or want to do harm to other people. We are the only advanced

country on earth that sees these kinds of mass shootings every few months.

So, boom, there's your first objection. He goes to like six or seven of these. I'm going

to show you a couple of them as he bounces around. What you need to know, you need to

put yourself into the shoes of the people you're trying to convince. Why did they think

it is impossible for them to change? Why did they think it isn't a good idea for them to

change? And you need to cover that and deal with those objections first.

It shouldn't be a dialogue where you go and they go, "Oh, yeah, what about this?" Because,

now, they are dug into their position. The more you can preemptively address the

objection, the less strong the objection becomes. So I wanted to show you a couple more examples

at the risk of being _ of this objection handling.

And what's become routine, of course, is the response of those who oppose any kind

of common sense gun legislation. Right now, I can imagine the press releases being cranked

up. We need more guns, they'll argue; fewer gun safety laws.

The way to think about objections, oddly enough, what it reminds me of is the movie 8 Mile,

the very last scene where Eminem is rapping against the guy. He has rapped, that is the

best scene in the entire movie, is where he says everything that could be said negatively

about him before his opposition. That's how to think about presenting these objections.

You don't want to do it in a way where you just say it. You need to come up with a reason

why those objections are not valid, but if you do that, you will leave the people who

are naysayers, who do not want to change, with nothing to hold on to, so it's so important.

Get in their shoes and think of the other objections that they might come up with.

There are scores of responsible gun owners in this country. They know that's not true.

So, now, we're moving into the third step which is going to be consistency, right? We've

associated the problem with pain. We dealt with objections. Now, what we need to do is

convince people that the course of action that we want them to take is actually consistent

with their current identity. You do not want to be convincing people that they need to

make massive changes, even if the changes are really massive changes, because people

naturally resist change.

What they will move towards, though, is seeing that, "Hey, maybe this thing that I didn't

realize is, like me, actually is," right? So that's why he says, "responsible gun owners."

He's not trying to tell people "give up all your guns." He's saying, the responsible thing

to do because you're a responsible person, aren't you? Is to follow my course of action.

We know because of the polling that says that majority of Americans understand that we should

changing these laws, including the majority of responsible law-abiding gun owners.

The objection to what Obama says a lot of the times regarding guns is that if you follow

the law and you're responsible, there's not a problem. He has grouped those people into

his side and made them consistent with his beliefs by saying, "Look at the thing, look

at the social proof. We got all these polls that say this is what people like you want

to do," very, very powerful. And we're gonna continue now with more and more handling of

this consistency.

News organizations, because I won't put these facts forward, have news organizations tally

up the number of Americans who've been killed through terrorist attacks over the last decade

and the number of Americans who've been killed by gun violence. And post those side by side

on your news reports. This won't be information coming from me. It will be coming from you.

I think this is the most brilliant part of the entire speech and it's the part, a few

days later, that he's getting the most coverage because the news organizations did, in fact,

do what he said. This is still Step 3: Consistency. You need to make people feel like it is part

of their identity to change. And the way that you do this is not by preaching at them, showing

them stats and statistics. You give them ownership of the argument and that's what he's done here.

He says, "I'm not gonna put this in front of you, you should go out, look at these numbers,

do it on your own," and guess what happens when that occurs? The news stations, the people

that are looking for these numbers, they retain personal ownership of this fact, and it begins

to move them more than if Obama stood up there with a chart and said, "Look at this. You

need to accept this." In that case, they'd be resisting, but because they're going and

doing it on their own, there is implicit ownership there; so, so, so huge.

We spend over a trillion dollars and pass countless laws and devote entire agencies

to preventing terrorist attacks on our soil, and rightfully so.

So what's he doing here? He's comparing something that people already are supportive of and

are already do, which is spending money to prevent terrorist attacks, right? A lot of

money, and he says that's a great idea. He's on your side. And what he's about to do is

take that preexisting action and say why it's like what he wants you to do in the future.

Again, if you need people to change, it is far, far easier to convince them that the

thing that you want them to do is basically what they've been doing in the past with a

shift. It's not this whole new thing. They don't have to become a brand new type of person.

They don't have to give up their most deeply held values and beliefs. They just need to

see things in a slightly different perspective and when they do that, what they'll see is that

this is actually the type of person they are--a responsible gun owning, law abiding citizen

is gonna be someone who is in favor of this.

When Americans are killed in mine disasters, we work to make mines safer. When Americans

are killed in floods and hurricanes, we make communities safer.

Again, you can see where he's going here, still Step 3. He's saying, look at all these

things that we already do, how we already handle this. This is a logical extension.

Gun safety is a logical extension of the way that we help protect people from weather and

mines and all these kinds of things.

The last thing that he is going to do here is going to be to make and ask. It's kind

of a humbling ask right here, and he just says that he needs help.

I'd ask the American people to think about how they can get our government to change

these laws, and this is not something that I can do by myself. I got to have Congress

and I got to have state legislatures

So right here, Obama goes through and just lists all the people that he needs, but this

is what you have to do at the end of any of these speeches that you're giving. If you're

trying to get people on board, you cannot drag them. You need to say, "I need your help,"

and ask at the end, because it is an ask.

At the end of the day, you cannot make anyone do anything, that is not what persuasion is.

It is getting them to want to do things, to take ownership over an idea that maybe started

in your head, but that you helped cultivate in theirs, so those are the 5 steps. Actually,

there's one that Barack Obama missed that I like to do whenever I'm trying to persuade

people, which is the fourth step, from people that you ask is to detail, an explicit detail,

what it would look like if things went well with your new plan, so that you don't just

have people running away from a status quo of pain, but you have them running towards

something that is really exciting.

So if you add those together, what you have is, first, illustrate the problem and associate

pain to it. Second, preemptively deal with any objections that you have researched and

you know that your audience has. Three, convince them that your plan of action is actually

consistent with the type of person that they are and the type of person that they want

to be. It's a logical extension of their current value system, not a deviation from it. And

then, fourth, which is not seen here, paint the heaven that happens if they go in the

direction that you like them to. And, fifth, end with an "ask." You cannot force them to.

You need to just ask.

So, hope that has been helpful.

If you like this and you want to get more of them on YouTube, please subscribe to the

channel, thumbs up it, and, of course, what is most helpful to me is if you write a comment

with a specific video of a charisma breakdown that you'd like me to do, that helps so, so

much. This is Charlie Houpert and I hope you found this helpful.