it can be a great pattern breaker as
well in the middle of talking saying you
know what I'm finding it really
interesting talking to you but I also
just want to say you are so beautiful or
your stunning amazing oh that got me
yeah the other option is hybrid where
you talk to a girl you get to know her
before you actually choose that she is
deserving of your compliment
friendzone a girl and then she'll like
you it's like I'll often say to it like
hi I think you're beautiful here all the
cards hold them you are now in charge
you now have the power or putting it so
yeah it follows on from waiting to be
impressed it also follows on from having
to be impressively it's true well this
version of the hybrid is what I think
works for my students when I have them
my students on the 7 day course this is
what I teach this is what get some
results particularly if they have
outcome dependency or approach anxiety
okay she still has to impress you she's
supposed to reach your standards
you still validate her but that direct
compliment save it for the right moment
that you think she deserves it and
that's what we're about real results
with women we are not here to feed you
[ __ ] we are not here to give you pixie
dust okay we are here to give you gold
dust we're here to give you tactics
methods advice feedback that really
creates that shift in your results with
women
hey guys it's me Cassio noble leading
female dating and attraction expert for
men and today I have with me her duster
Hadassah Noble and yes she's my sister
and number one win girl on the team now
the last video that we did I think has
received around half a million views and
you I know you were exactl she's far far
less extroverted than I am and actually
that's something we're going to be
discussing in this video but I've been
inundated with emails from people saying
we want to see more pedasi because
actually what you have to say is really
really relevant to a lot of guys
especially guys who are shyer who are
looking for more quiet shire very
feminine women
but I would just say a little less
intimidating a little less frightening
but equally quite difficult because shy
girls are a challenge and they're gonna
be a different way to an alpha mega
[ __ ] so we're gonna be picking your
brains now Hadassah what's in the seven
day course this is very very important I
must stress here that that means she's
out in field like four days a week no we
don't have a dormant team there's a lot
of companies out there that have a team
that they take out of the cupboard you
know shake the dust off and send them
out for their like you know one client a
year we we have we're out there okay we
are out there in the thick of the battle
with our students so yeah it's an active
team and they're constantly constantly
perfecting their game and their skills
so today we're gonna be looking at well
I've got lots of tips here for shy guys
this is a lot of guys that come on the
course you know they're they're not
necessarily shy but they they suffer
from a lot approach anxiety a lot of
outcome dependency which then it comes
across as worried nervous and therefore
we put it over the collective term of
shy so I have you okay
I mean you're not so much now you are
still quite introverted but you were
extremely shy yeah no absolutely I was I
was
shai I was so shy oh you remember what I
was like it would it would be really
really tough to try and go for
approaching people asking for something
getting something you want and that's
not just in terms of dating but that's
in terms of work that's in terms of
friendships networking and everything
okay so you've got three tips to share
with us today three thirds do help shy
guys become more confident well yes I do
have three tips they are more in a
practical approach than a kind of we
know how do we feel inside about
ourselves let's do some breathing
exercises everybody so much like that
it's something we can you can use
practical advice so the first point I
have for shy guys is bear in mind she's
hot what else has she got this means
what does she have to offer you so
you've approached her cuz she's
good-looking
she's got maybe three or four features
that you've listed there something that
you find attractive what else is there
because when you're talking to her you
can't put her on a pedestal of oh my god
were beautiful and that's it we've got
to find out what else she's got to offer
so I mean what are her interests what I
liked what I heard dislikes and what you
should do is pre-plan these and I often
do this with the students in the 7-day
course is to have a list done in full
before even going out into the field
saying what is your ideal woman what it
what has she got and they usually say
vague things very vague just general
things like nice personality good sense
of humor and to keep fit yeah and it's
it's got a filter spoke and tailor-made
for you you see women have a list women
have a detailed list of what they want
and that list might seem horrendous to
you might seem shocking but it's fair
list and they might not keep to that
list they might find someone who's the
complete antithesis to everything that
they thought they liked regardless it's
about going in there with that
confidence because you have that list
therefore you are the chooser if you go
in there with like some vague general
kind of list of things that everybody
else it's like a lonely hearts column
it's like looking for good a sense of
humor exactly there's a good example
what is her sense of humor I mean you
good sense of humor my sense of humor
you oh you me at the same sense of humor
but apart from that a lot of people have
very very different sense of human you
just to say good doesn't necessarily
you'll have that in common
yeah so have a very clear idea what kind
of films does she like what kind of
books does she read is she intelligent
is she clever once you have this you'll
realize that speaking to him just
because she's pretty doesn't necessarily
mean she's going to reach all your
standards therefore she's no longer on
this pedestal and therefore she's not
longer something that has to be
something you worry about so much which
brings me to my second point my second
point is don't worry about trying to
impress her wait to be impressed that
alone is impressive because you will be
looking out for what those what those
qualities are that we mentioned before
and when she does give you one or two
probably there won't be every single
thing on the list ticked off I don't
think it will be one or two qualities
and you can validate her you can make it
clear that you have standards that you
can reward her when she has reached them
I just want to interject that it's
extremely important what her does is
saying about validation it might sound
highly arrogant but I want you to think
of what the nice guy would do and then
do the opposite the nice guy never
validates he just kisses her ass he'll
say when she says validate we don't mean
for instance oh I love that dress on you
it's really pretty she doesn't mean that
that's what nice guys do what she means
is you know what I like your dress I
like your dress because it shows that
you've made an effort or it's really
feminine most other girls dress a little
bit like masculine or it's like too
sporty or whatever it is so you are
saying look you've you've reached the
mark and these other girls didn't quite
fit the bill mentioning other women that
you know and comparing her is a really
good way of displaying high value as
well she'll know that you have other
women of very high quality in your life
and then you if you're comparing her say
I like this you'll stand out from other
girls those other girls I know they only
like this you do something more for
example a lot of guys I know prefer
women that go on you know on holiday and
when they're
holiday they go to they go camping maybe
something outdoors do sports you know
things which are quite not the typical
girl thing and he's like most women I
know they like to sit on the beach and
sunbathe or party that's really cool
that you do something different from
that point she'll know that she has to
keep try she has to keep her reputation
you you what you're doing here this is
very much my territory which is micro
detail there's a lot of advice out there
which is just listen to her more
capitalize on those hooks and ask her
interesting questions okay so imagine if
we said that to the people come on our
seventh day of course just go out there
and be more friendly more sociable and
ask interesting questions they'd answer
their money back doesn't money back but
also due to going out there vague advice
vague nothing too actually no tangible
something you work with you know it's
very micro detailed advice and a lot of
people can be watching this going whoa
okay you know you're teaching me like
you know how to talk basically but when
they are talking to women and they are
shy guys which we're dealing with here
okay not if you're super confidence soup
you have no approach anxiety this might
not be relevant for you but if you're a
shy guy that isn't used to socializing
and talking to people then this is super
important because you're going to be
standing there it's suffering from
something called well but what I call
decision-making paralysis you don't know
whether to go left or right you don't
know if you should agree without this a
forever you'll just completely blank and
what I does saying is she's giving you
tips actual points incremental tips that
you can use you can apply and it's going
to make a huge difference as small
adjustments that make a huge difference
yes it's just absolutely true it's is
the detail that's that's important women
like detail we work in detail everything
about the way we dress the way we talk
about things the way we describe things
is very much detailed based not fact
it's not technical facts it's emotional
detail and this is the really great part
that you can you can talk to her about
you can look at these points that you've
listed the things that you want on a
woman and connect with her on an
emotional deeper level rather than just
do we have that in common do we have
that in common
that's another video for another time is
another video for another time well we
covered the second point yes we have a
third point the third point well the
third point it comes down to the fact
that a lot of shy men are worried about
going direct approach and so we need to
explain what direct approach is I'll
just do it briefly so directors when you
show the goal your intent straight away
now there's different degrees of that
there's I think you're really pretty I
just felt like I had to come say hello
to you and then there's well you know I
want you to be the mother of my children
you know that's that's you have to have
watertight confidence and only a few men
can get away with that we do teach that
but you've got to get to a certain
length before you can master that kind
of very very advanced game so then
there's indirect which is using an
opener which doesn't convey the fact
that your interest in her such as she's
working on her laptop and you say to her
you know are you a Twitter or Facebook
girl you know something like that that
doesn't really mean you're not saying
that you like her she kind of gets it
but you haven't shown your intent right
okay and that brings us to the third
option which is the hybrid opener
now the holo Prideaux the vibra dopa
million it's a nice cocktail most hybrid
openers that I see people teaching in
the field though is very much going in
they say do you know the directions to
Piccadilly Circus station do you know
yes it's just over there Piccadilly
Circus though the real reason I wanted
to come and talk to you is because I
yeah exactly
it feels really fake I mean you connect
it up a little bit work so you can act
it up a little bit and you can use like
a with it going look the real reason is
I know that sounds ridiculous but you
have to be a good actor so unless you've
been to Rada
you can't do it no the other option is
hybrid where you talk to a girl you get
to know her before you actually choose
that she is deserving of your compliment
your direct compliment now that's not to
say that you don't show intent
throughout the conversation you can
still you can still show that you valid
a shin you can
still show then you respect something
about her you can still even compliment
her but it's not that direct approach on
her beauty it's not that direct showing
interest of absolutely clear unequivocal
unarguable compliments
well this version of the hybrid is what
I think works for my students when I
have them my students on the seven day
course this is what I teach this is what
gets some results particularly if they
have outcome dependency or approach
anxiety okay
so rather than going in with your
complan rather than suddenly during a
compliment in there just a few vast
directions go in instead get to know her
talk to her go in direct enjoy the
conversation when you think she's good
enough for you when she's reached your
standards with that list that you made
then you give her your direct compliment
that's not to say that you don't show
intent that's not to say you don't show
some degree of interest in her she still
has to impress you she supposed to reach
your standards
you still validate her but that direct
compliment save it for the right moment
that you think she deserves that and it
can be a great pattern breaker as well
in the middle of talking saying you know
what I'm finding it really interesting
talking to you but I also just want to
say you are so beautiful or your
stunning amazing only that got me yeah I
said that yeah I'm not you're far direct
on the whole I prefer direct but I can I
I can go for the indirect to it's got a
lot of plus points and pinyon are
rewarding good behavior yes and I find a
lot of men up there reward bad behavior
can reward bad behavior if you've got a
game plan so like some of the guys on
our team do you know they reward a [ __ ]
ego to take away her power again
advanced game another video another day
but you shouldn't keep rewarding
somebody just because they are you know
being boring and a lot of guys they all
know you're really interesting I was a
boring interaction why is he saying
that's interesting yeah but I really
love what you said because it felt so
spontaneous and it's elating a bad okay
no but it also gives a good chance that
if they if you do lose interest in a
girl maybe she is really boy maybe you
don't want to get for that compliment
you don't have to anymore you know
exactly I've noticed that if you when
all else fails friendzone a girl and
then she'll like you good yeah
head zoned out there and they can play
but you've never seen a woman friendzone
it's like oh it's like Toth total rage
yes so that's like that's an again
there's so these things that we could be
out I mean I could talk about hybrid
openers
no please yeah a little okay yeah
examples and takeaways for for our
listeners Oh us sorry well I just think
hybrid openers got so many points that
we can discuss so yeah it follows on
from waiting to be impressed it also
follows on from having to be impressed
it's true because the guy goes in there
and if is trying to impress all the time
it's cliche it's quite me we expecting
it as women like yeah yeah you got a car
cool you know good job okay but I want a
guy to teach you respect me because I've
got a good job or if I had a car if I
have a good personality another funny
just these things I realize that to a
lot of people when I'm talking some they
don't notice we want to be valued we
don't just want to be you know yeah we
look good great alright so another
really good example of a hybrid opener
is if you're taking if you're still not
sure what your compliment is I even
though you've had some time to think
about it you're still not really sure
it's just like an overall thing that you
like about her
good point B is she's talking about
something and then go now I know now I
know what it is that I like about you or
that I'm attracted to I use this one I
give that to my students a lot and it's
very powerful you just we were just so
desperate to know what it is like what
is it what is it now I know why I'm
attracted to you and if she's like why
why and you just go doesn't matter Karen
of what you'll say and then actually
that's so sexy and it makes us feel like
really Wow's romantics like doesn't
happen that often oh and we want to know
more is blonde taneous it feels
spontaneous it feels especially magical
moment
but it has to feel spontaneous that's
what we teach it yeah okay and that will
help you secure another date or so
so hybrid openers have a lot of great
positive points for example when you I
often find with direct approaching even
though it's really really like
spontaneous and exciting it does put
women on a pedestal and a lot of women
it's I think particularly recently as
soon as they get a guy approaching them
immediately go not interested on walk
off especially in busy cities in busy
cities people on a rush people in a
hurry much more likely to help someone
who's asking for directions very much or
wants to talk to them about something
actually have more patience with it I
almost think it's an arrogant thing when
women are [ __ ] immediately not
interested not interested as soon as
they get a compliment so to hold it off
until you're sure that she deserves that
I think is a really powerful process
it's a really powerful opportunity
because she's four shy guys yeah once
you don't want to go through that stop
being a woman in the street and having
to actually get had a stop just receive
the compliment it's like I often say to
it like hi I think you're beautiful here
all the cards hold them you were now in
charge you now have the power opening it
and I think it's better to let her have
it as you as you feel that she's
deserved it so that's the first point
and the other point is that it gets it
again going back to our point earlier
about making the list getting a chance
to prove herself earning your respect
before she receives a compliment slowly
slowly as it goes along she will earn
this compliment this direct approach
that you were holding off from early on
it's really good chance to display high
value show that you've got very clear
standards in a woman you're really
massive on high value yes I am this I am
being really high I am really happy
because women have high value well most
women have high value they're expecting
they expect a lot more from an area next
to law and men [ __ ] about them
expecting a lot and I'm like why not
just playing up that game
so you know women are not made of sugar
and spice and all things nice and it's
not always about that you need to have a
great job and you have to have a really
great car and you have to have money and
you have to be videos it's nothing to do
with it it's about having self-respect
about having confidence in who you are
in your opinions and in what you will
like and dislike and be able to make
that clear but you expect the same from
her and being committed and consistent
with those opinions yes but suddenly
shriveling into a small little mouse a
moment that she disagrees with you or
she captures you points you out or or
anything okay and that's my point on
display high values that's really
important we're obsessed with high
values I mean that's what you've found
is work with our students that's all
that - when I usually talk to students
they are embarrassed about themselves
for various reasons and college ethic
for I don't like invideo games or
something and I yeah women I always say
women have this dorky side and once you
connect with that dorky side behind the
door
you got cool side they need to penetrate
your courses they need to find you yeah
I need to find it seriously I think
everyone has his dorky side that she
tries to cover up she might be a bit
embarrassed and I say once you've
connected in that dorky side you know
that's it it's like it's it's home run
okay so in conclusion in conclusion in
conclusion this is final thoughts my
reports of the day have a very clear
idea of what you want make it very clear
what you want
tell her show intent hold off that
compliment when you think she's an tit I
never ever reward bad behavior
exactly okay so if you want to work with
her duster and my other active team a
lot longer than what lying in a cupboard
somewhere they are helping they're out
there on the battleground on the
battleground okay and they are helping
thousands of guys get real results with
women and that's what we're about real
results with women we are not here to
feed you [ __ ] we are not here to give
you pixie dust okay we are here to give
you gold dust we're here to give you
tactics
that's advice feedback that really
creates that shift in your results with
women find out more about myself my team
my 7-day mastery course my boot camps my
DVDs at WWDC doable calm and we both
hope to see you on one of my live events
gonna say goodbye to the camera deci
goodbye