How to hurt Parents Feelings
How You Accidentally Hurt Your Parent's Feelings (r/AskReddit)
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serious parents have read it what's
something your kids do without realizing
it hurts your feelings my 12 year old
son basically ignores me as much as he
can
it's puberty and it's all normal but a
year ago I was still his favorite person
and now it's all about his friends girls
and video games and I'm the uncoolest
person on the planet apparently I made
him Gil for a walk with me and the dog
the other day just to try to have some
conversation and he said why do you make
me do things that make me unhappy to
which I responded spending time with me
makes you unhappy and he said yes I told
him he could turn around and go back
home and he did I cried the whole way to
the dog park my almost three-year-old
twins often tell me I'm not invited to
their birthday party my five-year-old
daughter said she wanted a new mommy
because I don't have a pretty face she
didn't realize it would be hurtful I
guess I don't know if these happen all
over the country but in the South they
have these father / daughter dances in
elementary school I always thought they
were ridiculous and a little creepy so I
had zero interest in ever going to one
that I have daughters so I knew there
was a chance I would end up at one of
these abominations at some point I never
made my opinion known to my girls just
something I would write to my wife about
from time to time my oldest daughter
came home one day with a flyer for the
daddy-daughter dance and she was pumped
to go I thought to myself great here we
go but I sucked it up and pretended to
be just as enthused as she was to go I
was dreading it but honestly I would
endure much worse to see my girls happy
a couple of days before the dance my
daughter asked my wife to take her to
get a nice dress and shoes my wife told
me later that I really need to take this
seriously because it was all she had
been talking about for a week I figured
I would go along with it and if she was
going to look great damn it so was I so
I went out and bought myself a nice
outfit for the affair complete with
shoes and everything I rarely buy myself
anything so I just knew the gesture of
her seeing me wearing new clothes would
give her a big kick on the day
I hid my clothes so they would be a
surprise the more excited she got the
more I looked forward to it maybe I had
judged the dance too harshly and it's
nice to go out and have fun with your
daughter it started to dawn on me that
maybe we don't do enough together and it
made me feel I really need to spend more
time bonding with her I felt like maybe
I was kind of her dad in this dance
would be the beginning of turning over a
new leaf
I found myself actually excited for this
god damn dance I couldn't believe it
the day if I rush home and get all ready
and then I come out and she's dressed
super nice and she's beaming when she
sees my new outfit mom took a bunch of
pictures and we were all set for a great
time we arrived at the dance and I'm
looking at all the other dads in jeans
and t-shirts and I'm thinking ha my kid
must be so proud of her dad we go into
the gym where music was playing and
everyone was congregating I give my
daughter a giant hug and say I'm so
happy we came she says to me oh hey
that's my friend over there I'm going to
say hi my daughter never came back the
rest of the dance
I stood there on the wall watching every
other dad in jeans and a t-shirt dance
with their daughters and my never did
she didn't say a word to me just hung
out with her friends when her friends
went to dance with their dad she just
hung out with whoever wasn't at the time
I stood there in my outfit listening to
song after song embarrassed and sad the
longer the dance went on and the more
songs meant to be about dads and their
daughters the sadder I got to the point
at the end I was fighting back tears I
had stood in the same place for two
hours because I didn't want to move in
case she came looking for me but she
never did at the end of the night she
told me about how much fun she had with
her friends
I tried my best to act like I had fun
too she was completely oblivious as to
me being a wallflower the whole night
said I was forgotten when I got home I
went to my room and locked the door and
cried she had no idea she was hurting me
that night and I kept it that way
it's not the best memory when I dropped
them off at a party or day camp and I go
to say bye they've already gone off with
friends kids are getting older now
so it's not cool to kiss or hug dad
goodbye but man it stings and I sure
don't want to embarrass them so I just
sadly walked to my car I'm divorced with
split custody my ex has a large extended
family that lives nearby and they are
always together letting the little
cousins all play together my family is
the exact opposite live hours away and
nobody young to have playdates with so
weakly my five-year-old cries when it's
time to go to my house because it's not
as fun as dads I'm on a budget and can't
afford to take her out every week to the
zoo or movies every single dollar is
budgeted it makes me cry often when I
see how excited she is to go to his
house because mine is boring
I just want her to know that I'm trying
ahh
last year my wife spent the whole summer
making it as great as she could for our
then six-year-old holidays theme parks
everything she could they did loads
together got a phone call at work from
wife crying slash furious at the end of
it going back to school she'd asked what
she had enjoyed most the day trip to
London only problem was that was with me
at Easter still it was an absolutely
awesome day I'm a very old dude who
usually lurks reddit I made an account
to comment on this post I wish I could
say I had a lot of influence in the
raising of my girls but that wasn't the
way that things turned out I did a lot
of dumb as did my ex-wife she was in
prison for a stint and I was in and out
of prison throughout my daughter's lives
my younger two daughters were raised by
my ex's dad while my oldest daughter was
raised by my dad their lives were polar
opposites that is for sure my ex's
family came from money our family had
money and lost it all we lived in about
as much damn poverty as is possible
rock bottom didn't help I wasn't around
to contribute much I wasn't allowed to
see my two younger girls much their
grandpa hated my guts I understood that
I did not understand the way they
treated my dad he was the most
hard-working and honest man I ever knew
if something was broke he was over there
at your house with tools to fix it
without even
to ask never was late to anything in his
life I remember we had all the girls
over once for fourth of July we were
grilling up some burgers on a brand new
grill spent more than we should have on
this but we didn't see them all together
very often a lot of whining on my two
younger girls part they'd rather go to
McDonald's we had mr. pip instead of dr.
pepper and so on but what got me was
when one of my younger daughters said we
want to go home your house is dirty and
oldest daughter doesn't have any good
toys I'm damn glad my dad was almost
deaf at that point because hearing that
would have broken his heart
my oldest daughter did hear though she
was about eight at this time I'll never
forget the look on her face
there weren't any tears or embarrassment
she just looked blank staring off into
space there were other stories and
moments like those too long to write
eventually my two younger daughters
changed their last name from mine to
their grandpa's they stopped accepting
contact from my dad in me presents for
birthdays and Christmas were returned
the feel-good part of the story comes
from my oldest she's an adult now I knew
when she was little that her other
grandparents sisters were bribing her
with toys and with their nice house she
would come home and tell my dad or me if
I was around the response I had at that
time was is that so no more no less I
did get up the courage to ask her why
she stayed with that instead of going to
live with her sisters when she was older
she said to me I felt like Papa had
nothing else to live for I wanted to
stay because I knew he loved me and
needed me around I loved him too he was
always trying his hardest up until the
day he died
I knew even back then that was more
honest than people who gave me new toys
and would ask me if I would rather live
with them I feel like I have to point
out that my dad lost all his money
because he spent hundreds of thousands
trying to save my mom diabetic coma I
was in prison at the time and they
wouldn't let me out to say goodbye he
spent all the money we had and sold the
lake house trying to keep her alive
after she passed he was a shell of man
the only time I did see him even room
smile after that was when he was looking
after my oldest so what she said hit me
deep let me tell you she is my pride and
joy I wish I could have given her more
but I know my dad made up for it even
though there wasn't much to give she
appreciated everything even as a kid
she's smart as a whip got a full ride
scholarship taught me how to use the
internet and type on the keyboard she
was hit by my dad's death hard harder
than me maybe but she is strong pretty
even though I let her down she's always
been there for me through my heart
disease my damn broken hip I lost my
balance and hit my head pretty hard a
few years ago and she flew out here to
take care of me a lot of Hell in our
lives that she beat all the odds my
other daughters well they would like to
pretend I'm not their dad I know I will
get pissed on for saying so but the
feeling is mutual
I feel like given every opportunity they
have managed to squander and waste it
they are entitled brats the way they
treated my daughter my dad I know my
oldest was trying to get close to them
hit the fan when they came asking what
they got out of my dad's will after he
died he had nothing but the house we
lived in and the clothes on his back
gave every damn dime to raise my oldest
they returned every presence and letter
he ever sent them and they come asking
for handouts I've never seen my oldest
daughter snap until that moment guess
she managed to get my temper after all I
know I didn't have much influence in any
of my kids lives maybe I have no right
to be proud so I thanked my dad who
sacrificed everything for my daughter
thank you for raising her to be a damn
good woman also thanks to anyone who
wasted the time to read this old guys
ramblings
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