How to hurt My Ex Boyfriend
Why You MUST Hurt Your Ex (If You Want Them Back)
0:00 / 0:00
Quality:
Sharing buttons:
hi this is Lucia with the art of love
I'm a dating and relationship experts
specializing in helping you get your ex
back today I want to talk about why you
should not be nice to your ex if you
want them back and in order to
understand why being nice is it
necessary you have to understand what's
at the heart of no contact and why it's
so effective but before I explain all
that I want to remind you to be sure to
subscribe so you don't miss out on any
future videos and while you're at it
tap the bell icon so you'll be notified
when a new video is up alright so why is
no contact so effective I've done
several videos on this and I've never
actually mentioned this aspect of no
contact I have a comment here from
YouTube that explains it brilliantly so
I will read the comment and then go on
from there
so he or she says I find that the reason
no contact elicits any response
regardless of what they want from you is
because you're wounding their ego and
they're trying to repair the ego by
having another crack I'm assuming they
meet under the crack at the relationship
sometimes it's guilt sometimes they
realize the grass isn't greener but
essentially if someone broke up with you
and it wasn't for legitimate reason that
person is engaging in relationships at
an ego level and not at a love level and
I find that is very true and that is
brilliantly stated most relationships
are ego based very few people are at the
level of awareness where they are coming
purely from a place of love with little
to no ego involved and that is what's at
the heart of no contact their ego even
though they initially rejected you by
disappearing not begging or continuing
to beg not contacting them you will
affect their ego they expected you to at
least do one or more of those things
since we've all heard stories of the
crazy exes who just would not let
go but you're doing the complete
opposite and they will be curious as to
why and that is one of the reasons why
they'll reach out you've hurt their ego
and they want to know what is behind
that that's why I say not to respond
unless they say something significant
because they may just be trying to get
some verification from your some
validation that you're still interested
and then once you give them that
validation you repair their ego and they
can go on without you that's why I say
not to wish your ex a happy birthday and
the argument I always get back is well I
want to be nice
oh no you don't oh no you don't being
nice will not get you your ex back
unless you cheated on them or you took
them for granted you have to hurt their
ego don't believe me all right let me
ask you this think of it this way they
broke up with you that wasn't a nice
thing to do right especially if they did
it over text or if they didn't give you
an explanation or try to work things out
so they were not nice to you and yet you
want them back so why do you think that
being nice would make them want you back
if not being nice worked on you why
would it not work on them why do you
think you have to do the opposite that
is be nice and by being nice I don't or
by not being nice I don't mean that you
yell at them throw things at them call
them names etc no no no it's a lot more
subtle than that it's no contact it's
not saying happy birthday it's not
responding to them unless they say
something significant it's taking two
days if you do respond things like that
otherwise by being quote-unquote nice
you're giving them way too much
reassurance
that you're there for them that they can
come back any time
and most importantly you haven't bruised
their ego so hopefully I've convinced
you to not be nice if you want your ex
back I know there's probably gonna be a
lot of controversy about this so go
ahead and put your comments below and
we'll see and if you have a problem with
being too nice then you need to book a
coaching session with me and I will help
you - stop being so nice - stop being a
doormat and you can do that by going to
the art of love net the direct link is
below and you can also sign up for my
free newsletter while you're there if
you found this helpful
then I would appreciate if you're on
YouTube too like subscribe and share if
you are listening on iTunes I would
appreciate if you would rate and review
the podcast and finally remember that
love inspires empowers uplifts and
enlightens
