Help! My 7-Year-Old Still Can't Read!

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hi everyone i'm shelly from there's no

place like home at redhead mommy today's video is really

going to be about encouraging you as the

parent of a child who is still not

reading despite the fact that society

says that they should be by this point

so today's video is called help my

seven-year-old still isn't reading


this is one of those areas where I

really feel badly for the parents of

children who are in traditional school

settings just because if you do have a

child who is not able to read at a time

that schools think that they should be

there's really isn't much that you can

do because the schools need children to

be doing things at a certain time and so

that doesn't give you as a parent much

flexibility in helping your child and

you know that is one thing that I am so

thankful for with homeschooling is just

that you do have the flexibility so when

you have a child who isn't doing things

on that arbitrary timeline that is set

by schools it's okay you have the

freedom to let your child grow into

their abilities when they are good and

ready and so you know one thing that I

think is so important that we point out

is that the schools literacy timeline is

not about the needs of the children it

is about the needs of the school schools

don't assign reading timelines and when

a child should be reading by because

there's some window that kids have to

learn to read in or else you know things

are just going to be disastrous for

their future and things are never going

to be good for them when they're adults

if they don't know how to read by a

certain point that's not where those

timelines come from school timelines are

designed solely because of their

approach to learning they have a

textbook driven approach to learning so

that doesn't give them the freedom to

let kids grow into the reading when

they're good and ready

they have to have kids learning in the

same method in every single grade

there's a lot of kids there hundreds

sometimes thousands of kids in a school

so for them it is it is better for them

more convenient for them if they have

kids who are all reading at the same

point so that they can go on with their

lessons and do the things they need to

do every day so when they do have kids

who don't fit that mold and who are

taking a little bit longer to do that

there isn't much of an option that they

can do with those kids other than pull

them out and you know put them in

learning support or special classes and

you know unfortunately a lot of time

what comes with that is a stigma and I'm

speaking as a parent of a child who did

go through that himself and even now you

know he is an adult now and he's still

at this point in time we'll make

references to the fact that he is stupid

and he is not stupid at all but that is

just something that he's had in his head

because of the things that he went

through when he was in school because he

was not given the freedom to learn in

his own time so you know that you have

to remember that kids are not cookie

cutter images of one another and that's

okay kids who are home-schooled can grow

I keep saying this but they grow into

they're reading they have the time to do

that and you know what happens when you

push a child into reading too quickly

well a lot of times they they end up

hating reading because they associate it

with unpleasantness of being pushed of

stress sometimes of getting yelled at

and that isn't something that any child

wants to remember when they're doing

something so you know what is it that

kids need who are later readers well

some kids just need time you know as a

homeschooling family you've already

broken that mold so you don't even need

to worry about fitting into the

traditional school mold anymore just

don't even worry about that toss that

notion out the window a lot of kids

really do just need extra time they need

time to mature in different areas of

their of their mental capacity in order

to process the things that they need to

be able to do when it comes to reading

and you know what I found at least with

one of my kids and I've know that I've

talked to other people who have had the

same issue is that when a child becomes

when a child is given the freedom to to

learn to read in their own time without

being pushed what what ends up happening

is that they will find something in

their life that they think is crucial

for them to know how to read they will

they will find some sort of a need for

it you know a lot of times when we tell

kids that they need to learn how to read

we kind of put things you know far off

like when you're

older when you're an adult you need to

learn how to read so that you can do

this this and this but a lot of times

kids on their own will find that they

need to learn how they need to know how

to read right now in order to be able to

do certain things and so that is

actually something that I've discovered

with my six-year-old daughter Kenzie

right now is that I've been you know

taking a relaxed approach to reading

with her and she's been doing great with

it but I haven't really been pushing it

too much if she would ask me to do more

with her I certainly would but I've been

you know moving at a slower pace with

her simply because I don't want her to

hate reading but now we have been on

break for the past six weeks because we

do year-round homeschooling and we take

a six-week break from Thanksgiving to

New Year's and so we've done no

structured learning at all during this

time but during this six-week period

I've discovered that Kenzie reads more

now than she did before we started break

and do you know why because she has been

playing roblox and when she plays roblox

she plays with all of her siblings they

all sit here and they all play together

and she likes to talk to them and so it

went from her constantly asking me how

do you spell this how do you spell this

or I don't have to tell her anymore

it's amazing the things that I see her

typing out on her own that I have never

introduced to her simply because she she

discovered a need for it and she

actually had application for it it

wasn't just some abstract thing that she

had to learn how to do this is something

that is going to it's functional it's

something that is going to be of use for

her and so I'm actually really excited

to start back to school I'm recording

this now on Sunday night so you'll be

seeing this I'll be posting it Monday

morning so Monday were actually starting

back to school and I'm actually really

excited to do her reading lessons now

because I can't wait to see how far

she's progressed so you know sometimes

that's all that kids need is a little

bit of internal motivation now other

kids need that extra time because they

will eventually learn to do it on their

own terms

that's actually something that I also

found with three of my kids that I can

think of right off the top of the bat is

for example my son Bailey I did you know

phonics with him starting when he was

you know five years old every single day

did phonics and he would just cry he

absolutely hated it and then I hated it

because it was a stressful time for both

of us so finally I when he was six I

said you know what we're gonna take a

break we're not gonna do phonics for a

while so we had about a month where we

did know sort of phonics at all and then

I walked into his bedroom one day and he

was sitting there reading a book out

loud to himself he had taken the the

knowledge of what we of what we were

learning the phonics that I thought he

wasn't picking up and it was like they

clicked for him and he was able to start

applying that to the book that he was

reading and he basically taught himself

to read simply with the little bit of

phonics that I had been teaching him

because he was given the time to do it

on his own

does this mean that all kids will do it

that way no but what it means is that

there are benefits of giving your kids

that added time now with my daughter

summer I started doing teach your child

to read in 100 easy lessons with her and

I really do recommend that book I've

used it with several of my children now

and have been very successful with it

with my daughter summer I started teach

your child to read in 100 easy lessons

with her and she didn't like it she did

not like it at all but I had already had

success with it so I knew that I just

didn't want to throw it out and say

forget it I'm not gonna use this it

doesn't work I knew that she probably

just was not ready to learn to read yet

at that point so do you know what I did

I put away teach your child to read in

100 easy lessons with her and I worked

on other things with her like letters

and I worked on copy work with her but

when she turned seven I pulled teach a

child to read in 100 easy lessons back

out again

and she probably was about a third of

the way through the book and she was


she was already

to read chapter books so she went from

not reading to a third of the way

through teach a child to read in 100

easy lessons and then I was getting her

Magic Treehouse books and she was

reading those so again she had the

freedom to grow into her abilities and

so the last example that I have that is

with my son Luke he was another one that

hated phonics he had absolutely no

interest none and you know I would

diligently again you would think that I

would have known you know by this point

okay well if he doesn't like to do it

just stop now and just let him grow into

it no I still tried I still tried to

have him do it and you know he liked

doing a little worksheets we had this

cute little phonics book that I had

gotten at it at a teacher supply store

and he liked doing it but nothing

clicked with him he just wouldn't


he wouldn't retain it so that since he

wouldn't retain it it grew frustrating

for him and then that was when he

started to not like it anymore so that

was when finally I was like okay let's

just stop well with him it took a little

bit longer and I was starting to get a

little bit worried with him until

finally um it was right around when he

turned 8 that he said to me mom I really

want to know how to read and that was

when I pulled out the teacher child to

read in 100 easy lessons book and I kid

you not

within a month of starting that book he

was reading chapter books and so yeah he

he didn't learn to read until he was 8

years old

but within a month he was reading

chapter books and so he's 11 now and if

you would hear him read compared to his

twelve-year-old brother who learned to

read when he was 6 you would never be

able to tell the difference between who

started when he was 6 and who started

when he was 8 no difference so I know

that a lot of times you some teachers

will tell you that kids need to learn to

read by a certain point in time or

they're going to have you know

difficulties but if they're telling you

early ages such as they have to be

reading by the time they're

seven or they have to be reading by the

time that they're eight you know I I

think that you just need to have

confidence in your children and remember

that sometimes it is better to start

late than to start too early now one

thing that I have to point out is that

you know yes there are going to be kids

who will need additional help and those

are are that's something that you as a

parent really need to look for signs but

I think that it's really important that

when you look for those signs that you

are not listening too much of what the

world is telling you kids need to be

doing and not looking too much at the

school timeline sometimes it's intuition

that will tell you that there's

something going on with your children

but other times it can almost be from

outside pressure where it's not really

that your child has a problem it's just

that they need time I know like very

often people will tell me that their

five or six year old sometimes will

write some letters backwards and then

they automatically think of dyslexia and

while yes dyslexia is a real thing it is

also natural for younger children to

write letters backwards once in a while

so I think that it's important that you

as a homeschooling parent just study up

on these things and educate yourself and

see what really duh does and does not


you know I'm looking to outside

intervention now of course if you have a

child who maybe by the age of like eight

or nine is not making any progress at

all whatsoever in reading and shows

absolutely no interest in reading or if

they do show interest in reading and

they still are not making any progress

then yes you absolutely do want to look

for outside help at that point but again

I just really want to caution you don't

think that just because you're five or

six year old or even seven year old is

not reading right away that there

definitely has to be a problem because

the thing is is that age of literacy has

no bearing in life your your child is

never going to have go for a job

interview as an adult and they're never

going to be turned down for a job

because they learned how to read too

late you know no one asks that that

doesn't come up the only time that that

comes up is when your child is still a

kid and then

are you reading yet that's the only time

that that age comes up it doesn't matter

in real life so I want you to remember

that you know this is really learning to

read is a big thing but the age that

they do it minuscule it doesn't matter

so one thing that I want you to remember

before I close out this video is that

how old a child is when they learn how

to read is far less important than that

they do learn how to read and so

sometimes you as the parent if you are

finding yourself getting stressed out

about the fact that you're six or seven

year old or even eight year old is not

reading yet your kids can sense that and

so when they have that added stress on

them that can also hold them back so

really just trust in your children but

again I do have to add that disclaimer

that if you really really do think there

is a problem by all means you could seek

help and in those cases anyway that's

all that I have for you today if you

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