4 Month Sleep Regression EXPLAINED - What's REALLY Happening

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if you're watching this video you are

one of two types of people

you either have a newborn and you are

truly terrified

of the form of sleep regression or you

secondly have a four to five month old

and you are wondering

what happened to my great sleeper

everything has gone

downhill in today's video i'm going to

share with you

what in the world is happening at the

four month sleep regression period

and three ways that you can come on the

other side a lot more well-rested

so in the form of sleep regression i

want you to first of all

understand that it is real

okay this is not some myth or some

you know scare tactic that perhaps

you're getting emails from baby center

or what to expect or you just

heard about it from friends and they're

telling you oh just wait until the

four-month time

this is a real thing but i've always

wanted my families to not think of it as


regression like oh everything is going

to be terrible

i want you to reframe it in your mind

simply what's happening is your baby is


and they're growing up which is good so

here's what i want you to understand

newborn sleep cycles and baby sleep

cycles and adult sleep cycles

completely different things okay

newborns have

two sleep cycles that they rotate in and

out of deep

non-deep rem non-rem that's all once we

get to the four-month sleep

time around that 16-week from due date

your child now develops fully mature

sleep cycles just like you and i

so they go from having just two sleep

cycles to more complex sleep cycles that

go in and out of stages while they sleep

okay so that's really why this is


they are no longer newborn so zero to

three month olds things

change right about the four month mark

and it's simply because

their sleep cycles are different

so what can we do about it there's no

stopping it

we want to celebrate the fact that your

child is

growing and changing and thriving but it

might catch you by surprise still

so i have a sweet spot in this format


it just brings back a flood of memories

my whole journey in sleep consulting


with my oldest at this time

that awkward like three to four month

where maybe you're watching this and you


a 14 week old a 15 week old a 16 week


and you've noticed that things are

drastically changing

so i want to give you today three things


i was unaware of at this four month mark

that i want you to learn from i want you


implement you can do all three of these


and my goal is that you can come to the

other side of the four month

a lot more well rested step one

is to get out of the swaddle

that might scare you a little bit but

here's why so swaddle is a

fantastic tool for newborns

they cannot control their body they

cannot self-soothe

they struggle with the startle reflex

now you may be thinking

my four-month-old still struggles with

the startle reflex so i'm not getting

out of the swaddle

well here's the thing how is your


ever going to learn to use his or her

body if we just keep them

all burrito wrapped again swaddles

great for newborns but in my newborn

sleep course i actually ask

parents between the 8 and 12 month mark

to start thinking about getting the arms


okay one at a time let's transition out

of the swaddle

so today you could start doing this

maybe you're watching this

in the middle of the day or the middle

of the night the next time this happens

let's start transitioning out of the


now if you do have a true four month old

i would actually want you to go cold

turkey out of the swaddle into a sleep


i will link below my favorite sleep

sacks inevitably this is the next

question you're gonna have like

okay great but like what do i get i want

to call out

one that i just want to ease your mind

on i love the traditional open arm sleep

sacks that's what you're going to use


a long time as long as you want to but

the zipity zip sleep sack by

is a great one that is actually designed

for this four month time

so the zipity zip was originally

designed to help your child come

out of the swaddle and have more freedom

but still

when they startle the you know squirrel


kind of catches them so they don't fully

wake up

now in the startle reflex what's

actually happening is your baby feels

like they're falling so they jolt

themselves and they wake up

it's important to start getting out of

the swaddle so they can learn how to use

their body

you might be terrified of rolling like

yeah but my child's rolling so i have to

swaddle them

no let's think about something don't you

and i like when we sleep at night

you're not just stationary you're

switching positions you're putting your

arms under your pillow

you're laying on your back you're laying

on your side however you sleep

you're in full control it might feel

weird that your baby is ready to be in

full control but they

are and so this is usually a big

development surge right at the four

month mark they're starting to learn how

to use their body

they're starting to learn how to

manipulate themselves in the crib

and roll from back to belly belly to

back or go on their sides

this is normal and good and we have to

get out of the swaddle so that those

movements are

safe so as soon as you watch this video

i want you to just know

it is time to start getting out of the

swaddle into the sleep sack

you can see our links below for even

more of those suggestions on sleep sack


but this is step one before we can even

get into

how else we can help your baby make

sleep a thing okay step two

is to help your baby have more naps in

the crib

now raise your hand if you've noticed

this comment below and tell me your

experience but

most of the time around this four month

mark your child

loses the ability to go from car seat to


have you noticed that a lot of times at

this four month mark

again because they're more aware they're

not the sleepy newborn anymore

their awake times are increasing their

sleep cycles are changing

they can't go from resting

in a swing to resting in their crib

resting from the car

picking them up and putting them into

the crib a lot of families have noticed

this and this is why i want to

really ask you to try getting them into

their crib

now this goes also with a video we

already have on going from bassinet to

crib so make sure you check that one out

put the links below

but this is the time if they have been

in a bassinet it's time to go to a crib

it's time to focus on

more naps in the crib because naps on

the go

are not as restorative as naps in the

crib think about it when you're on an

airplane in a car and you doze off

do you wake up feeling so well rested no

neither does your child

so if we can focus on half this is all

i'm asking for okay

half of the naps that your baby has in

the crib

the other half could be on the go now i

know that kind of like contradicts what

i just said but here's the thing

four month olds only have a short

awake time okay newborns we've talked

about this 60 minutes that's all

guess what a four month old can handle

an hour and a half

or hour and 45 it's not a lot more so

it's really important that we start to

look at okay yes we want to focus on

naps in the crib but

you have a life and you should not be

trapped inside your house all the time

so it's okay to have some naps on the go

but if we can focus on more naps in the

crib because they will start to connect

these sleep cycles we're going to

sleep train them if they need this is an

opportunity to get them

resting in their crib napping in their

crib so they can have

better sleep quality so i want you as

you start to do these naps in the crib

to start upping those wake times too so

it's like a bonus step within step two

is these wake windows are now getting a

little bit bigger there is a


of a four-month-old and this goes with

step three

how many of your little ones when you

put them in the crib

or you've noticed them in the bassinet

they take their legs and they're like

body slamming them onto the crib they're

just like thrashing their legs

everywhere they're slamming their legs

onto the crib

so many parents over the years i've

freaked out when i would have on-call

support i would get videos of babies

like is this normal is this okay

the answer is yes they are trying to

manipulate their body they're trying to

get cozy and comfortable

step three and how to help your

four-month-old sleep better and kind of

get over this whole form of regression

is to ditch

the props things like swaddles which was

our first step

okay so we're gonna ditch swaddles we're

going to are you

bear with me we're going to ditch the


i'll explain more in a second we're

going to stop helping them fall asleep

100 this is a big change this is like


hallmark of a newborn versus a baby

newborns have to be helped to sleep they

have to be

helped to get drowsy they have to put

them to sleep 100

babies no way babies can do this and

they need to do this

on their own and have all these other

props dropped

because it is the only way they're going

to sleep fuller and longer and have

connected cycles so i want you to think

about this

if your baby falls asleep with a prop

whatever it is nursing rocking bouncing

pacifier feeding swaddle whatever it is

they're going to come out of their sleep

cycle looking for whatever it was

to help them get back into the next

sleep cycle

all throughout the night and during

their naps so that third step

getting rid of those props as i even

mentioned them you might have already

been thinking like actually becca's


like we're popping the passing in all

night long

they're starting to break out of the

swaddle they're not falling asleep while

nursing as easily anymore it's because

your baby is ready to do this


and i want you to know that this is a

true gift

to give them independent sleep okay

let's put them all together and then i'm

going to share with you the biggest

most frequently asked question i ever


about four month olds i'm gonna tell you

what to do about it okay okay so


we're going to ditch the swaddle first

step you can start that right away we

can get them in an open arm sleep sack

or a zippy zip

your choice but it's important to get

them out so they can start exploring

their body

because step two is we're going to have

them in the crib

for half of the naps a four month old

has four naps if we can have two of them

in the crib that would be amazing

if you want to have more than that go

for it i'm just not forcing you to

but it is okay to have half on the go

half in the crib

we want them to be connecting these

sleep cycles because the third thing

you're going to do

is ditch the props evaluate what props

just are not working anymore

are you doing the popping the passing

game in and out in and out and out all

night long and all during the naps

is nursing or rocking or bouncing them

to sleep just not cutting it anymore

it's because they are ready to learn

independent sleep habits so

start to see all these props that are

not working and they're gone

it's not something that you wean off of

because they're not working so they're


gone now the question that i get all of

the time

is becca i see you have this four month

plan and i really want to do it but

here's the thing my baby's in the four

month sleep progression do i wait for

that to end

or can i start sleep training now well

the format sleep regression

is not a storm that you wait to pass

before you get to go outside and enjoy

life again

that's not what this is the four-month

regression is a period of time where

your baby is developing mature sleep


and as all these three steps have

outlined they are ready for independent

sleep and not depending on

anyone or anything else besides

themselves so

now is the time that you sleep train you

don't wait for it to pass and if you


it's okay we still have the plan for you

and it's still going to work

but you don't have to wait for anything

to get worse you don't have to wait for

things to possibly get better after four

months because i've had

so many eight-month-olds tell me i guess

we're still dealing

from the effects of four months you

don't have to do that

you can start sleep training a

four-month-old from 16 weeks from due


and our baby sleepy coaching gives you

every step of the way

in fact did you know in our online

course there are two

different plans one is for a four to

five month old the others for the six to

16 month old

our four to five month plan is going to

dive a lot more closely

into more gentle methods for this age

and focusing on

one nighttime feed if you need in the

future you're going to have the 6 to 16

month plan which drops that feed

now i want you to check out the links

below so you can find your baby program

and get started on it you don't have to


for this storm to blow over you can

begin it as soon as you are ready

so make sure you check those links out

below don't be like me with a baby under

your covers waking up one day in a panic

you have a plan i've got it for you and

we are going to walk through everything


step by step sweet dreams see you next