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TODDLER SLEEP TRAINING - THIS CHANGED OUR LIVES!



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hey guys and welcome back to my channel

so today I'm doing a different type of

YouTube video I'm really excited because

I have Natalie here with me today I have

talked a lot on my Instagram about baby

sleep training like in stories and

whatnot and a lot of you ladies have

asked me a ton of questions about what I

used what I did what program I went by

and all that stuff and I was literally

like though baby sleeps Raider which is

Natalie right here I had a toddler and

until I found you I did not even know

that that existed sleep training for

toddlers and when I see toddler we're

talking about three-year-old so I'm so

excited to have you the air I'm gonna

happy to be here just go over the

process and all that stuff we were gonna

chatting before about what caused you to

reach out and how you felt like you were

things had not been great when he was

baby but you knew why yes and then

things got sort of better did you even

think about like where how that there

was a coach or someone that you could

reach out to for this no I knew there

was sleep training and I knew there were

books you could read and then there were

like night nurses right you know and all

that kind of stuff but I think I kind of

fell into the trap of like first baby

right sort of like it's okay I'll let

him co sleep or I'll let him do this and

we've even really do co-sleeping it was

that to give some background my son

Rhian um he had a really bad dairy

allergy and he had acid reflux okay I

mean it was like taking it to the next

level for the first three to six months

which i think is normal yeah um yeah

correctly and then right around 18

months I think he started sleeping

through the night which is fantastic

that point I had a newborn with my

daughter so I was definitely less

lenient in terms of right okay I need to

tend to her so I need help my husband

travels a lot house it's gonna happen

and he started sleeping through the

night which was great we did try to cry

it out method I don't know what what

clicked he just started sleeping through

the night so he was still in a crib we

went to Hawaii when he was around two

and a half three puffins a lot like a

trick or an illness

well totally like an boo and then

something happens when they were toddler

and it like all goes out the way well I

was gonna say I actually if you

and at the bright side I was actually

really happy that I found him when he

was a toddler because not to say that

there aren't things that can happen post

toddler fight but I feel like because we

went through all of the newborn and that

middle like teething and all that kind

of stuff he yes you know it's been three

years and hum has stuck with this and I

I can't even tell you what an amazing

secret and I seriously owe it all to you

oh well you do not work so even though

you find me and I was able to guide you

should really like pat yourself on the

back and him to put a lot of sleep

coaches those trained cobblers you're

right that it is a really popular thing

to discuss I think because a lot of

issues have you to work themselves out

to that point or they are more

manageable and I think what every family

can tolerate is different in some

families you know I think my children

are in elementary school ones about to

be in middle school and I know that my

daughter still at both might but my

children still have classmates who

require a parent to live with them until

they fall asleep and again this is like

your family your home whatever you feel

comfortable there is nothing wrong with

your child there's nothing wrong with

your family co-sleeping or venturing or

whatever however I think different

families I have different dynamics and

some of them struggle with the intensity

of like meeting that interaction from a

parent right and so the really cool

thing that I kind of love about working

with toddlers is that it's highly

formulaic out of necessity so when

you're working with an infant and people

have like if you have a baby probably

have like a general understanding of how

state training goes but there's like

timed and then you're in there and

you're like touching them and it's with

this highly emotional you know thing and

then they eventually get it right and

there's going to be a lot of hiccups

with infants too you know they get a

tooth or they transition naps there's a

lot right but when they're toddler it's

all behavior based so and it has a lot

to do with the like power dynamic within

the family and the parents and you know

sometimes even like you'll get enough

power dynamic with like a colleague or a

friend or a boss or a sibling family

member and you realize you can step out

of you're like yeah this is how I'm this

is what's happening I need to change my

reaction because they're reacting to me

right

talking about toddlers and I think that

was a big reason as to why I even called

you in the first place in research I

like I literally googled and I found

Natalie and I was like we're gonna give

this a try so I definitely want to go

over the process of sharing well like

what my personal process was but as far

as the impetus for calling you it was

exactly what you just said it's that I

realized that the way I was acting

towards my son especially was out if I

was fatigued I was extremely tired I had

a newborn with me and I we were just my

husband was traveling a lot when he'd

come home he just wouldn't get good

night's sleep you know and it was like

we were talking about I was getting 45

hours of sleep at night which I think is

normal for moms in general especially

new moms right there has to be but it

was broken and I was like it's broken

not this in the newborn because I made

sure Mila was like my being really good

yeah on it was because of him and and

because of that I also noticed was

extremely tired and I noticed that I was

like he's not sleeping at night he still

takes naps that are really long it's

because he needs to get that sleep yeah

so I think a lot of families a lot of

women will reach the breaking point when

they realize that it's not really like

they feel awful I tell my families and

this is so true like your children need

more sleep than you need and they need

to sleep more than you do right so like

what they do all the same things that

while they sleep that we do they like

prepares our bodies they deal with their

emotions they all they're also like

growing and learning it's it's like

absolutely true they can only grow while

they're in their deepest stages of sleep

they can only learn like during their

lighter stages it's like REM sleep and

so you having a really severe sleep

issue it's really like having you know

like an eating issue I mean even though

the training sometimes I think parents

worried that it's gonna be way more

unpleasant that usually ends up being

and sometimes it's kind of unpleasant

but it's never worse than what you're

dealing with before you people ask me

like what I you know when I refer you to

them and and by the way like I pee

Natalie yeah I know

and not like if I worked as an

influencer I probably worked with more

in grades and I realize because I always

well it would always sleep live with my

families this way it was you know and

and it was one of those things I added

aspiration googled and I wasn't even

like I would ask someone I just googled

and I found you you came up atop the

list all the reviews were great and

here's the funny part is that when I

contacted you here they said 'you tub

actually it's so la la la la in Oregon

anyway she's out of state most the time

and I was like oh well if you're out of

state how are you gonna come to my house

and speak to me my child like that's not

how it works it works with an actual

consultation with you and your partner I

mean your husband for an hour and we're

gonna talk about the video right via

video conference we're gonna talk about

what your needs are which we had

established on email and then we went

over them and then she laid out a game

plan and I was like and and I think you

know the session I was like that doesn't

make any sense but I was like you know

what I'm desperate we're gonna try them

mm-hmm we sat down and I think the

biggest piece of advice you gave me

right off the bat was make sure you and

your partner are on the same page like

you have to have the support because

there are gonna be and and in my

experience obviously everybody's

different but it was only two to three

nights back it typically goes pretty

quickly for toddler right way more

quickly than for instance I mean Wow

life-changing but two or three nights

where you're like oh my god and you need

that support from your partner be like

are we doing the right thing we're doing

the right thing I need your help to tell

me go back to your room let it be

whatever it is and so that is I think my

biggest takeaway is the support from

your partner and then too

it really is I know it sounds weird but

it's like that whole idea if you hire

nutritionist or a coach that's gonna

tell you like you're here and you want

to lose this much weight this is what

your plan is stick with it and it will

happen and this is actually easier than

that because with weight loss you're

right thinking about food right

angel-in-training

I didn't believe it but in it at least

for toddlers I would say yeah it's much

easier I I couldn't agree more and I

think people have this misconception

that you can only train babies and

infants and also toddlers have a mind if

they don't they can get out of the bed

and stuff it's true but I think that

there's also all these things in and and

tactics that you use an employee that I

could are just like amazing so yeah I

mean sleep training for any age is very

very counterintuitive and and sometimes

I'll tell my families especially younger

babies I'll say during certain part of

my consultation I'll say if what I am

Telling if during this moment it's the

moment that we were like transition to

putting them down I said if what you're

doing right now feels counterintuitive

then you'll know you're doing the right

thing that's because the whole process

is and I I really don't like to be

apologetic about you I don't like to use

euphemistic terms I like to respect

everyone including the child who's going

through this and be like very open and

honest and I think our parenting there

are a lot of different parenting styles

in the u.s. in the United States and

maybe a lot of your viewers aren't in

the US and I think in other countries

it's it can beat you both ways like

everyone knows what to do and everyone

parents the same way you don't have a

lot of Liberty I'm in the u.s. there's

so many different gonna produce else but

then it breeds a tremendous amount of

insecurity which then breeds judgment

which we all know is not something we

need to talk about but that's like and

so I think women who hold themselves

back from doing it I was asking earlier

how your partner felt felt about it and

you were like he was like why don't we

usually the dad sometimes but it's

usually not the dads that have the issue

it's the moms are like oh my god like or

the no one until their friends are doing

right what are they gonna think of me

are these moms in I think I'm like this

monster right exactly

but honestly I have and I have friends

on both spectrums I think I fall right

in the middle like very Libra of me I

have a very stern parents that are

disciplined in like you know at three

months even where we're sleep training

and that's it and

friends that are like no echo sleep I

still do and that's what it is it might

be careful on the middle where it's like

I want them to be trained I don't want

to necessarily like push them to do this

but I think I love that idea that it's

counterintuitive it really doesn't have

anything to do with anybody else but you

your child and you're certain absolutely

what is your take like when people come

to you and they're like I can't I can't

like to have my child cry it out or I

can't follow this what is your well I

think what's always funny is when

someone will be like is your method

cried out because I'm not really into

that and I'll be like all forms of sleep

training Eric right it comes from a

misconception and a total like miss

understanding of what sleep training is

because people don't really have a

really sound understanding even the ring

I'm talking about toddlers and it still

applies to toddlers this is really what

I guess we're talking more about younger

children but across the board it really

is true actually like the root of like

almost all sleep problems with children

is an inability to fall asleep

independently whether you have a

three-year-old she's like coming in and

out of the room a million times or a

baby who needs a pacifier and the crazy

thing is especially when talking about

younger children it actually doesn't

matter what their sleep association is

it is no more difficult to train a child

with Co sleeps and it is to train a

child who only requires you to walk in

with a pacifier in the mouth of lock-out

it's not any harder right so you were

like oh like I could sleep it no it's

not it's in the same because your job

it's a lot like riding a bike in one of

the unique aspects of babies a trainer

that's the same face of Turner method

that's the same for toddlers and babies

is that you eliminate all the sleep

props like everything that your child me

is that you need to give them to sleep

we get rid of it right away on the first

night of training and so it's just like

doing that quickly and setting up the

new boundaries kids tend to do very very

well when there is an established set of

bands but it's such a counterintuitive

process when it comes to toddlers I

think you were like wait there's sleep

what like yeah you decided something we

talked about culturally we do talk about

it for babies we don't even talk about

it for toddlers at all well I want to go

off in front yes now you sat down with

me

than yesterday and we talked about what

to do and our issues were about my son

would wake up every hour two hours come

from his bedroom at this time he's three

so he we moved him from a crypt to a bed

in him and he would come out you need us

we need to fall asleep with him even

when we slept with it it was just like

there was it was very interrupted broken

sleep and that's really that's one super

important thing to emphasizes I think

that let me say two things first

once again whatever it works for one's

family no one should come away from this

video thinking that if you're choosing

to go sleep and that's what makes me

happy whether there's interrupted sleep

or not that you're harming your Chuck

right it is your baby as a mother you

are entitled to that's your baby

that's what you get you get to do

whatever you want no one should tell you

differently as long as you're not

reading I know that you're saying this I

really truly genuinely a hundred percent

believe this I'm very adamant about

people like respecting one another so I

want to say that because a lot of it I'm

gonna say after that might make someone

who feels this doesn't resonate with

them they can feel like they were doing

something wrong you're not but if you

have this problem and so the second

thing I was gonna say is you work with

sleeping people who's just asleep

right it's what they want you to closely

no lot like people generally like

studies show humans don't actually sleep

very well

and you know whose age is the worst when

there's more than one person sleeping is

generally the female like the adult

female sleeps the most poorly so you

were no sleeping there was nothing left

for you to do to solve that problem it's

not like you had we're resisting or

holding back doing something that came

naturally to you to address the issue

right so if you are having that problem

yeah you are not alone and that can feel

very like so terrible yeah usually how

many options yes you feel very impotent

yes or not saying what is going on like

what is left here so okay so you've got

him coming out I got him coming out

frequently you're trying to post if

that's not working when I'm sleeping

generally just really really good yeah

and

and then I have another baby that I'm

obviously is still nursing and there's

news happening which I was like I need

to tend to that one of the first things

that you had told us to do which I loved

and I still have and now I knew yes be

honest six and this is from when he was

three and I don't even know why he's

kept it but I this thing to me is like I

don't know I love it every time I look

at makes me so happy because this little

chart which guys I just went to the

Dollar Tree and you literally now he was

like okay this is what you're doing

you're what do we call this I actually

don't this is called a sticker chart I

don't even have an official name for it

is money and use any caution brand um

think you do because it was just this

thing and she was like you're going to

do seven days of the week and we're

going to highlight things that he does

and it can be as mundane as brushing

your teeth to something reward like did

you make your bed you know whatever it

is that you want him to do so I asked

him like I actually had to make this I

asked him I said what are things that

you liked importantly keep in mind about

this chart when you're making this is

that you really want to start with like

dinnertime and then those are my

straight eating dinner and then you're

gonna crisp like proceeded through the

remainder of the routine and that's

right it was nighttime focus because if

this was right before bed I do remember

that now

and I had this plastered right in front

of the kids like dinner table so

especially for him is even the only one

that understood this it was like did you

eat dinner great let's put a sticker

there and then did you drink your milk

did you take your back all of this stuff

and and you was so excited I mean it

sounds crazy if it sounds so like duh

right you know the reason we do this is

because we use Tikrit Church a lot for

reward so you fill up the inheritor

chart you get a present at the end I

don't like to use that method with

children because then you're you're

teaching them to only do it for a little

while right

and then then let that or either there

always has to be a reward which is not

how life works or it loses its what's

like Buster yes right like nah yes it's

not and it is actually the biggest piece

of advice I've taken away from you which

is that you do not want to end up with

the reward like an object and and even

then I don't wear to sleep right

actually and they don't know that right

now but you know but also I think I

translated that into even like a reward

can be an experience no I do want like

you know but I'm like if we get to go

together right you think at that time

right a snack for the week you know but

that's a big piece of advice that I got

that I think is invaluable and I've

taken up with me for years so this

little baby here was phenomenal and I

left it at night I would move it from

their dinner table but I'm so curious so

I carry it with them yeah she did and I

filled it with stickers on could the

sticker is a reward exactly they're like

that's the positive reinforcement and I

was so desperate you guys that it was

one of those things where I like took

every single thing Natalie said and I

buy her made him I'm not even kidding I

did exactly what you said the next day I

went I made this for anyway yeah it's

very thick okay

I put it near the dinner table when I

was eating dinner drinking milk doing

that and then I took it upstairs to his

room and when he took it back brushed

his teeth you read put on his pj's kissy

mom and dad at night and making his bed

he was very excited that you got to do

and David he didn't get to do it it was

because he didn't have a chart Henoch no

like a day he didn't get to do it

because he didn't oh look like he's

gonna hit on so yeah other things that

we discussed a consultation or we work

together is that there's gonna be times

so this is probably an okay example

right brushing teeth it looks like they

did this right wait however many days

but yeah a bit of really there he didn't

get them all or he has like an empty

spot right so children can be

understandably combative sometimes

they're very bright and rank osius and

they're like I don't want it maybe

they're a great Monday Tuesday Wednesday

they're like no yeah I don't want to do

this because I wanted to lay out what

they start to dilly-dally

and so there's methods we talked about

in the book group we work together on

how to manage that because basically

like so the really huge takeaway for

this for parents is that you imagine

that we're gonna combine two metaphors

here that you are like a flight

attendant but you're on a train and that

train is not stopping it's not stopping

it's gonna keep going and your kid can

get on the train and can keep doing

other things or it's gonna leave them

behind you you're gonna move on you

actually put the stickers on generally

maybe I wonder if you only get to secure

the key my origami afterwards and

started like okay so anyways the basic

concept here though is that it's like

even if your child doesn't comply this

the sticker stove on the chart it just

can't go back to them so they can't

really miss their opportunity right to

do whatever because they're used to

using that as a power dynamic they're

used to saying well I don't wanna you

know and then and may he did look back

like I think we did it for three weeks

or four weeks however long I mean this

week training I'm I think took just that

one the kids some kids we don't really

into this eternity doing it again so I

know we left late before I think a month

that's why we see bad

and you know I kind of like they just

start working I was like I'm good but he

still wanted to do it so I let him keep

it right Aires and he did it and yeah

when he saw that this had a plane spot

it was like well how come I am like I

don't know you didn't do it that day so

that's when it reflects this is also

natural consequences yeah though I like

to mimic like real life like right like

and these are skills and just like or

not this is just not present in our

culture yeah it's like our kids and our

other people you know like

accountability is right that that's what

this is that's really really important

to me and that's what's informed us one

of the main problems families will come

to me with is like a whole lot of drama

at that time and for help that was

initially you had but a lot of like

screaming or crying or running out of

the room they won't even lay with you or

when they take two hours of Z so this

helps to put a childhood into like a

positive mindset going into sleep

training so you're not just like well

dinner's done now we're gonna move on to

like the sort of actual sleep training

which happens at bedtime they have

everyone do it because even if it wasn't

an issue if you had just jumped into the

no bedtime your dream he would have been

like that and been really really upset

this is like he's so into this right at

3:00 I was like I don't know he's gonna

get this oh yes but he got it and which

I loved

now the second part of the training was

at night often during sleep and this is

the part that I think was is probably

the hardest sometimes a turn but not

harder than what you're doing so the

first thing we did was we got a lock

murder and the outside of the door and I

know that sounds crazy and I know when I

was doing it I felt like a monster but

we got a lock on the outside of his door

and that was because in me that we

needed to we needed to be able to close

the door and lock him we need to be able

to turn the bedroom into a crib right

which is it really like people have no

problem putting their baby down usually

in a crib right especially if they're

doing sleep training but all of a sudden

another your child is in a bed that

concept that you would like can find

them can ya be like yes but that's why

right I Arthur's II right lady no hard

to say but the

that's and you don't necessarily even

have to go there because they couldn't

like confining them to that space that's

the currency that you're creating with

them right and I personally now still

have that love on there because that's

this time out like well you can't come

out and I will lock the door

obviously you don't abuse that it was a

it was something that I was like wait

when she don't what you told me you're

like get a lot for the Rose like there's

a few different approaches you can use

including a lot depending on your

personal situation he could easily open

the door on his own from the inside and

he was very strategic about getting

everything out and you were like the

lock might be the best option and I was

like it's gonna be the best again I was

at a point where I was very desperate

and I'd even want to try and right off

being able to I was like I just want to

do it all we're gonna do it but I'm

gonna do it right Mike this is it and

you also don't like Fort Knox push them

in and like lots and right right

examining that exactly so we got the

lock and we put it on the outside mm-hmm

then this other concept which I'll show

you guys like in a demo which I really

loved it was this idea of the door which

does concept to me that even was like

why are you talking about but he goes to

bed we tuck him in and we need the door

of it and we tell him you're really

using a toddler Fox potentially except

the element of it exact save got some

visual way to explain to this child you

need to say here's how you know and

again depending on her situation you

might this is where it can be very

customized but like right you have to

have some way that the child is like I

and my instructions to saying until this

time so your by using a child o clock

the one that turns green when it's time

to are red means stay in bed and green

means you can go right and so we have

the doors open doors open and I was like

stop this is not gonna work so of course

we put him to bed and we on the floor

the doors open and we had about the

orders now tape and so the tape like

monastic waiting for exactly for each

time he exited his room to come and get

me or dad we would close the door back

to that next level of tape and there

were four chances I think don't oh so it

was open hey he came out of the room I'm

gonna put you back in your bed goodnight

I love you there was no talking I

remember it was really important and

you're not even like

the thing I often tell my family is to

say to their shadows like I really hope

you choose to stay in bed right light

turns during the morning and I as who's

in control of this situation right not

you it's your child nothing is going to

happen to them but they don't want to

happen yeah because it's all up to them

that's true and I really important

aspect of this for parents and this is

when it's really important that you and

your partner write it are insane yeah

this is my understanding like what we're

agreeing to and like what are the basic

concepts and have read the plan or the

book or whatever and like understand

what just trust me

there were you know we need my husband

we'll go back to the room and then we

would just talk amongst each other as he

was either mm-hmm crying or just doing

something and and that again was

literally only the first night then he

came out of the room and we moved I said

Leon you come out again each time you

come eventually and four times the door

is going to be completely closed and

when it's closed it will be locked and

we usually show them like exact before

you put them down right you know he was

it over here right you all right there

like really yeah I do this and you're

like hmm so I closed it and then he kept

coming out and kept coming at me and

each time and you must cover the first

the first night with heart you didn't

cry I'm sick honey I love you I will see

you in the morning and that's it put him

in came out again third the first night

we had to lock the door and we locked

the door and he cried for about one hour

my for an hour I need my husband we were

on each other's team when you don't

think well we should have done that

would you're probably texting me and

also a suspect because I think that you

know really ask someone else that you're

talking to and it was crazy because this

was a part of that whole concept of like

you were a sleep trainer you're not in

my house you're helping me you're

coaching me and she was like for that

first week when you're doing this hmm I

am at your beck and call text me right

call me

let's talk even while you're going

through his I text her and she you would

text you would take as long as I'm awake

and I'm not like physically right will

respond

anyway my waking hours every day no

matter where I'm checked in on me which

is great you know and so let the first

thing happen and I was like I don't see

he fell see he got a sticker in the neck

Rene and how I don't know if you

remember this but this is something I

would like you to emphasize is do you

remember how he was acting in how he

felt dirty was he acting weird not at

all it's exactly like and I think as you

go through motherhood and Harry hood and

all that stuff you realize like all this

stuff it's not like it does not leave

this you're scared like everything we do

is trauma using them when the only thing

that's doing real damage and a lot of

these kids not good not sleeping like

that's really hard on these kids and I

remember so that first night happened

and I think it's a process in general

right link all of a sudden is not gonna

just stop napping he's catching the fun

right out of sleep this has been going

on for about a year and a half so the

next day it got to the last tomato in

Napa but this is her bedtime uh-huh

yeah at that time and at this point I

don't think she was not being during the

day at school it was a little we do a

similar thing for nominating this for

nothing for you okay and so we closed it

to the end and he was like no no no no

no don't close it I'm not well he knew

that the door closed meant locked and so

he didn't and he slept through the night

and I was like what because the only way

they will ever be successful in

compelling a toddler to do what you want

them to do is if they want to right so

you have to create a reason that they

want what you want which is for them to

Cisco to sleep in the same bed I was

blown away so then I'm like okay third

day happen

third night happen and it was like less

and less and literally I'm not kidding

seventh night I did not wake up once and

he slept at night and that was it and

that has changed since then four years

ago he has slept at night and can I tell

you the funniest thing and I always

think about you're always in the back of

my head even though even though this is

the first time we're actually meeting he

we can have parties in her house we can

have but once that guy is asleep he is

asleep and he always asks me that mom

he's almost door he just said and it's

not that he was meeting against it

because he loves it pitch-black

we don't use a sleep like a light

trainer anymore he likes it pitch-black

I can close the door

but preferably

it's almost like um can you just keep it

closed halfway it's almost like you took

that that's because and then I mean I

tell families that like they'll go out

of town or something we'll have those

great-grandma hot or whatever and it

like hits the rails again you can always

go back to this yeah always the same

concept the child always remembers

because you have to again if there has

to be some currency some way right you

know and if you can get over the concern

around the confining like and understand

like the tool and that if they don't

want it to happen then it's up to them

to like you'd have to let these things

happen to your children when they choose

them for themselves

what were the other alternatives aside

from so you can use a post-it human

who's post-it notes on the door so

instead of the lines on the floor you

can use a cover on the inside of the

door now sometimes people struggle like

that okay if they're the lever sometimes

kids are just very strong and they like

pry these things off but usually I'm I

don't recommend using a gate it's really

important that the door is closed you

don't want that it's not about like so

it's not only about them not being a

little leave it's about them like not

being able to you know interact right

like now the door is closed analysis

it's basically like one bit long time

out yeah sometimes when it's super funny

is that kids will do this and they'll

throw a fit and tantrum of course I'm

because you're not interacting with your

kids in between like you're unless they

like step over the threshold of their

door you could like you know she's got

his room up there like he could stand

there as long as he's in his room and

you're like staying awake asleep you

just up to stay in your room right and

eventually they'll go to sleep

um but sometimes they'll fall asleep

with their head in the threshold like

the lamb sure because they they don't

the door closed but they and that's fine

like that's totally cool they have to

deal with their own coping mechanisms

okay and then let's just talk about

success rate because I know that

obviously like anything you have to it's

not like you're paying for a service and

all sudden it's like done yeah we're

gonna see if guarantee but you have to

follow the process right so I don't ever

like families don't ask me if I have

some sort of guarantee and I tell them I

don't for two reasons one its I do a

really good job of screening my clients

so I don't let people hire me without me

telling them everything that's gonna

happen like very similar to this

conversation and be like okay

understand yes I understand what I'm

committing to then once I get that

commitment there were a lot more likely

to be successful because the number one

indicator of success is the parent not

the child and that every child is

different right so let's say you have a

toddler who successfully falls asleep

independently sleeps through the night

but you know they really really struggle

to sleep in let's say past 5:30 or 6:00

o'clock in the morning that's a really

difficult time for children to sleep

early in the morning and so you know

some I would still say that that child

is successful if they're doing their

absolute best they're still being

successful even if their peer might be

leaving a pen yes exactly

or what if maybe one child like fusses

of it before they go to sleep most times

where they cross about it and they're

still upset but they're slipping through

the night it's so successful right now

so it's difficult to say no that's a

very point to bring up to because my son

is always just he's always been an early

riser and just is the way or their

common but the one thing I will say gets

his sleep wants him sleep he does not

wake up yeah and if he does it's usually

because he's sick or there's an issue

wrong and so which is easier to know

when some right is wrong because if they

never wake up when they do wake up rain

breaks a lot more likely that's due to

something that's just getting greedy

that's infecting your kids to sleep you

don't mean like listen closely men when

they're ill too because like that's what

they're he doesn't - it's mainly if

there's I know he's really sick now

because he gets up only if he has that

cuz he knows really well right but yeah

636 six to six or he's always been

assigned yeah I'm not gonna push down

and precious to me anything super solid

sleep it sounds like before that yeah I

mean exactly what what's considered like

newborn screening and then would

consider a toddler citrine and I'll talk

a little bit about like different

options people have yeah back of these

problems so maybe you have multiple

children or whatever so we have a new

worm program it's online it's great all

these things around baby sleep trainer

calm which I'm sure will be all over

this distributor but so if you go the

website you can see there's that program

right so it's gonna be really good for

families to work I would say between 0

and 16 weeks I'm a lot of families

choose to start it like maybe a week or

two before the baby's born it's really

really great one likes me

training or like understanding yeah so

it's not sleep training right but so

what I was about to say is when you and

you never had a baby before even if

you've read a million votes or not or

whatever right like it's like somebody

it's astonishing that there really isn't

like an instruction manual that the

hospital sends you home with that's not

how I feel about the New Bern program

like I put everything in there's I know

about newborns and their sleep and there

were certain things like I'll say my

number one biggest tip when it comes to

newborns sleep is that once they're

let's say somewhere between four to six

or seven weeks once they're out of that

like truly sleeps all of the time no

matter where you are stage let's say

from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. you really want to

make sure that I was saying more than 2

hours and say go stretch don't ever let

them take a nap this I don't care what

the circumstance is unless they're ill

right and you can actually choose to do

whatever you want with my suggestion

granny that you not allow them to sleep

longer than two hours right that one's

abalone tends to correlate was like

really quickly getting like decently

longer stretches of sleep overnight and

like that there's a lot of other things

that you can be doing that have nothing

to do with sleep Ranchos managing their

schedule learn how they're eating and

all this episodes in the new murmur

Graham and that's up until 16 weeks run

Counting from their due date if you have

a baby that's 16 weeks of age or older

but not to get able to climb out of

their crib you'll have like three girls

that are still in their crib or you know

I would say somewhere between around

that age then there's just like the

traditional more like infant style I'm

sleep training and there's programs

there's online programs or that are

truly truly excellent the baby sleep

trainer plus support program is like

excellent it's my favorite it's like my

life's work that I created with my team

because you can use it anyone can use it

anywhere and be really really successful

in their stop support and then you can

always work with me one-on-one and the

one-on-one package is on the website and

I only do the one-on-one consultation

for toddlers because it is oddly like

even though it's so formulaic and

usually work so quickly and the amount

of falls when I do

tends to be lower with toddler families

it is just super hard to like be like

right thank you it's like too much for

families and they need that person to be

like I prom and I agree it's safe and

there's a lot of other elements we

haven't even gone into about making sure

the room is safe and like all of this

other stuff that actually is very very

important which sense can be saved for

if and when yeah but I mean it's just

that's where it's like does your child

have this struggle did they have this

and that's where we really customized it

was also like exactly to that point II

was like it it was like a 24/7 concierge

service from the time when we started it

which was great because she checked in

on me I checked in on her and I was like

listen I'm doing this is it's right you

know and I felt and I tell my families

to reach out to me like right I was

lying there I sleep like a normal amount

overnight and family's almost always

know what to do overnight right it's

usually a bedtime work during the day

that they're struggling but if I have

texted people back like on ski lifts in

Hawaii do you ever do in-home

consultations

I don't do in-home consultations

intentionally because so I feel like now

that you've gone through this you can

understand how I've been in your home

and been holding your hand literally the

entire time and then I left three days

in what would have happened on day four

when the dynamic with your child has

changed and the woman who is here having

mommy and daddy do all this stuff isn't

here anymore and I you have to stand

alone and do it it is a like I purposely

do not with any client of any age group

no matter how much someone is willing to

pay me I won't like never go into their

home to do it I feel very strongly if

they have to do it on their own I

actually love that concept because it's

same thing with anything changing your

lifestyle your diet anything that it's

up to you yourself to do that right it's

because I know that in for your

long-term success you will be more

successful in the long term if the

parent does it on their own there have a

higher likelihood of long-term success

in my experience and in my opinion

certainly there were probably coaches

who do in-home consultations and we're

very successful and I'm not speaking to

them but if with my program you're much

better if you do it on your

from the beginning and I support you

like even if use my online programs

there is sufficient support you know

what you need to do I you know can

attest it based off of the experience

but that is a really good reason enough

and I I brought that up just because I

was reluctant when I found you online

likewise is online only does it make any

sense or why is it via Skype yeah and

now I get it

so make that when is it like no longer

such a good question so I will work with

children up until the age of about three

and a half sometimes four I have heard

families use this method for kids up to

like five I think maybe once or twice it

worked with my brother and then if a

colleague who is a psychologist that I

refer older children to because I am NOT

saying it won't work I just don't feel

comfortable it's into that age group and

I would never ever ask someone to do

something that I was not like a hundred

percent confident was like totally safe

and sound so I would say feel like for

years others I am such a believer

because I just and I've obviously lived

through it and so I commend you for what

you do thank you for answering all of

this I mean I really just I mean that's

why we created online programs because

we I really feel like this is a problem

that disproportionately affects women I

feel if you work outside the home or

even if you don't it's really really

falls on our shoulders to deal with this

problem there is very little support

there's a lot of stigma it is a really

and it robs us of our memories that were

forming with our children because we're

not even sleeping and I am just here to

help for any of buddy that's out there

that is reluctant or being sexy training

is a myth or it's not for you maybe it

still isn't like natalie has said you

know obviously to each our own but um if

it is something you've been interested

in thinking about I highly highly

recommend her services um we did the

online one coaching the one-on-one coach

one-on-one 15 which was for toddlers so

I'm gonna list everything below as far

as her YouTube page which now has some

really great see yeah it's really great

honestly we've put a lot of effort into

YouTube recently as well which is kind

of mini honor I just really want help

which is great they don't really really

really do now if she has resources not

only on our website but on our YouTube

page which have no link below and also

baby sleep trainer calm again which is

her website so check that out if you

guys have any question Instagram we

actually turn about Instagram things out

all over the place I'll type all of that

below but also if you guys have any

questions for my experience and the

client or if you have anything for

Natalie obviously please leave them in

the comments as well we will be sure to

get back to you cuz this is a topic that

I think I've been wanting to do forever

and of soda that we finally can have

tomatoes hummus thank you guys so much

for watching this video we will see you

guys next time