3 Year Old Sleep Problems- Help for Anxious Toddlers

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hi I'm Jilly from baby sleep made simple

the video you're about to watch is me

answering a question sent in by a tired

mom on our Facebook live Q&A call I hope

you enjoy it so I think the first thing

I would do what I always recommend when

we're talking about toddlers and older

kids when we're going to change

behaviors and change routines the first

recommendation I always have is to

communicate so you want to sit down with

your little one during the day when

she's happy and she's rested and have

just a light and upbeat conversation

talking about what's happened talking

about the thunderstorms talking about

the fireworks and just kind of explore

her feelings on it and see you know was

she really scared

is she still scared maybe the fireworks

woke her up maybe the thunderstorms woke

up at night and now she's scared which

totally makes sense I would sit her down

and I would talk to her maybe a few

times to actually get to the root of the

matter and see what's going on because

there could be some fear or anxiety

about going to sleep because maybe she

was startled awake several times because

of this and then you could just reassure

her you could reassure you know exactly

what woke her it was just the rain or it

was the special fireworks that we have

that only happen you know once or twice

a year but mommy and daddy are always

here we're always checking on you or you

know in the room right next to you

you're okay you're safe just to remind

her that exactly what these were because

I think kids imaginations can go crazy

and they make it often bigger than it is

I think it's monsters you know and

that's understandable they have

incredible imaginations so I think now

after you can communicate with her and

talk her through her fears and any

anxieties that she might have then it's

time to just remind her okay but you

know you're a big girl you're three

years old and you're gonna go back to

you know sleeping in your room and mommy

and daddy we're gonna sleep in our room

and then I would just set some

expectations for what's gonna happen

just kind of remind her how she used to

sleep and then I would let that be the

expectation normally I always say to

start at bedtime because the way the

child falls asleep at bedtime is the way

that they expect to fall back to sleep

when they wake up throughout the night

so you could start at bedtime your

husband could sit with her did you say

he lays with her so I wouldn't lie down


from now on I would have him you know

sit up right next to her bed tonight in

a chair or sit on the edge of her bed I

wouldn't have him lie down so it's like

making gradual changes you want to

slowly wean him wean her off him wean

him out of the room so I'd have him sit

either on her bed or in a chair until

she falls asleep tonight and then the

second night I would move the chair a

few feet away and on the third night I'd

have the chair be in the doorway and

then after that he can you know give her

a kiss sing her a lullaby and say I'll

be back in two minutes I'm just gonna go

get glass of water I'm gonna get flip

the laundry and have him pop out of the

room for a good minute or two and then

come back and then see how she's doing

and give her another kiss on her cheek

tell her goodnight I'm just gonna go

feed the dog I'll be back in two minutes

and you want to keep doing that you want

to keep popping out of the room because

it's important that she falls asleep on

her own and then always come back but

you may just want to like pop your head

in the doorway you don't have to make a

big scene and then eventually she'll get

used to it she knows you're always there

she knows you're always coming back

which is super important and then you're

gonna go back and she's gonna be asleep

it's gonna be great so for the night

waking so what I would do is as soon as

she comes into your room then I would go

back into her bedroom and do the exact

same steps that you did at bedtime some

parents put a baby gate at the their

child's doorway so that they can't get

out of the room and it said they'll call

for their parents and then the parents

get out of bed and put them back into

bed or if she comes into your room then

just woke up back into her bedroom have

her lie down and then just sit you know

where you were sitting at that time

whether you were right next to her bed

whether you were in her doorway if you

were already popping in and out of her

room then I would just tuck her back in

singing a lullaby kiss her on the head

and say you know I'm just gonna go use

the bathroom and I'll be back in a few

minutes so it's something that she's

used to and then usually it takes a few

nights of just being consistent and

consistently reminding her where she's

going to sleep

I hope that that helps let me know if

you have any other questions