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it's one of the most common questions

people ask you after you've had a baby

if you sleeping through the night yet

every parent hopes their baby will

eventually stop waking up multiple times

at night so they can get some

much-needed rest because it is 140 and

if you don't screeches crying like you

just woke up it was the one topic I

searched the most while I was pregnant

as I prepared for my new little sleep

thief to arrive and this has also been

my most highly requested video so today

I'll be sharing some of the key steps I

took to eventually get my son Jace to

sleep through the night by 12 ish weeks

hi everyone and welcome back to the

Nicole and Richie channel if you're new

here my name is Nicole and I make videos

with my husband Richie sharing our home

heart and humor so today's video is

actually a pretty controversial topic

there's so many opinions on sleep

training and sleep methods and so it is

a little bit of a touchy subject but I'm

not here to judge anybody or whatever

they choose to do with their children I

believe that as moms we really need to

support each other no matter what

methods we choose because what works

best for me and my kids may not work for

somebody else and that's okay so before

I get into it quick disclaimer I am by

no means an expert or a sleeping

consultant or anything like that I am a

mom of one boy who has tried a few

different things read up a lot on this

topic and I'm here to just share what's

works best for us and hoping that maybe

it can help somebody out there and like

I said everybody just needs to do what's

best for them in their lifestyle so

starting off with lifestyle because I

think that's a huge factor in how you're

going to sleep train or schedule or

maybe not sleep trainer scheduler for me

I am working from home full-time on

YouTube and taking care of my son so it

was very very important to figure out a

schedule for him it was very important

for us to eventually be sleeping through

the night and for him to be sleeping it

through the night I think that's

important for his development and so the

methods I'm sharing today is based on

that type of lifestyle people who like

routine and like schedules pretty much

everything I'm sharing today is from

three of my favorite books that I read

before I had Jace I've talked about

these before but just to let you know a

lot of what I'm referencing especially

what I'm talking about

feeding schedules or sleeping schedules

are all in the books so first of all

this book called bringing up that book

is a little bit more unlike the

philosophy and

style of parenting but this really

helped form a lot of my thoughts and

opinions around how to raise my baby and

thought process around things

baby wise this is a lot more into

scheduling and touching on a lot of

other things that is really helpful for

moms to know and then this is the same

thing a lot on feeding and sleeping

schedules both of these books give you

actual schedules you can follow so like

I said anytime I reference a schedule

these are pretty much the books that I

used for that I do believe habits start

really early for both the mom and the

baby however the first month that we

were back from the hospital I did not

worry about scheduling there's already

so much change in stress happening as it

is so the first month I really didn't

apply much of this stuff I will say the

two main things that I focused on in

that first month with Jace was making

sure I'm giving him full feedings when

I'm breastfeeding and also trying to

incorporate and eat play sleep routine

now that's not gonna be perfect in the

beginning especially since there's

really not any playtime for a newborn

but ideally if they do have wake time I

was making sure that that wake time was

after he ate so he didn't get into the

habit of falling asleep right after

eating and I'll get a little bit more

into why that's important but like I

said I didn't have a lot of rules so

Jace was taking naps like in the living

room on his snuggle me who's taking naps

in the bassinet who's taking naps in our

arms like he was eating every two and a

half to three hours so we knew that much

but we weren't like hardcore

implementing what I'm gonna be talking

about today yet after one month I was

like I need more structure I knew it

would be the best thing for me and my

family and I also knew that good naps

and feedings lead to good nighttime

sleep and obviously we would get more

sleep and overall we would be a

functioning happy family all right so

let's get right into it what I did to

get Jace to sleep through the night by

12 ish weeks number one is consistency

you want to develop a routine for your

baby so that means every time you put

them to sleep it should be in the same

spot so they start to learn oh this is

my sleep environment so whether that's

the crib or a bassinet whatever it is

you want to have the same location every

time and here's a few tips I have on

preparing your environment to help your

child sleep better so like I said

consistency is key every time you put

them down to nap it should be the same

routine bring them in their room put

them in their swaddle turn on the sound

machine and then turn the lights off

they start to know okay this routine

means it's

to sleep and then your actual nighttime

routine might be a little bit different

obviously because you're preparing them

to sleep for the whole night for us that

includes giving him a bath first then

feeding him and like reading a book and

then putting him in his swaddle and

putting him to sleep and turning the

lights out so nighttime is a little bit

longer and if you stay consistent with

that they basically associate these

patterns with sleep time okay a few

other tips that are really important for

your environment in the room I've talked

about these before but first of all

sound machine just about a foot off the

head of the bed we put it super loud

also a lot of people have asked why

Zoras a machine so loud

that's the moms on call book says and we

actually notice when we put it really

loud he sleeps really really well so the

other thing is curtains so we ended up

getting some blackout curtains off of

Amazon we closed them during daytime

naps and at nighttime obviously during

the day though there is still a little

bit of Sun that comes through which is

totally fine I think it's good actually

for them to differentiate daytime naps

from nighttime sleep and last but

definitely not least is a good swaddle

I've talked about our swaddle before

highly recommend it I have so many

messages from people who have tried it

and it's working really great for their

kids helping them sleep better through

the night we use the nested beam Zen one

swaddle it has like a beanbag section on

top that puts a little bit of weight on

their tests so it kind of has like a

comforting effect it feels like a hand

on the baby's chest also the sleeves are

removable which is our favorite thing

because we recently just transitioned

him from basically full swaddle with

this arms in two arms out because he did

finally roll over in the nighttime from

back to front we found him on his tummy

in the morning and we needed to make

sure that he was sleeveless so he took

off both sleeves the other thing is the

zipper actually zips from the bottom so

you don't have to remove the entire

swaddle to change his diaper I wish we

had this swaddle his first three months

of life I swear it would have made our

lives so much easier but we didn't know

about it yet so I highly recommend the

swaddle I will link it in the

description along with the coupon code

for 15% off JC I'm almost done baby you

want me to hold John alright Jace has

joined us I gotta go feed him soon but

last tip I wanted to mention is keep

naps no longer than two hours it's

important that they are feeding making

sure that they're getting full during

the day so they're not getting hungry

and I

time and also that they're just not

sleeping a ton so that they still are

tired at night number two is called the

pause now I learned the pause from my

French book this is something you can

start implementing even from when the

baby's born but essentially the idea is

when your baby starts crying our initial

reaction as mothers and fathers is

usually to pick up your child right away

and rock them or feed them or just

basically make them stop crying as soon

as possible this idea encourages you to

stop and pause and observe your child

before you decide what you're going to

do there are times that your baby might

just whine for two seconds and then

they're gonna stop but if you just stop

and wait and observe and kind of look at

them and see like what is their need

right now or they scream crying and you

know for sure that they're hungry you

know take a look at the clock is it time

to feed or is it not time to feed yet

and they're just whining a little bit

and if you just let them sit for 10

seconds they might stop and there's no

reason to pick them up I know not

everybody agrees with this concept I do

because pausing and reading their cues

is actually helping you understand your

baby more and what their needs are and

learning what their cries mean and

that's like a whole other thing I can't

get into I think it's good to have like

a set rule of okay how long are you

gonna you know wait for your baby to cry

this is a very controversial issue of is

that okay to let your baby cry I know

this is very very hard to her mom's it's

been really hard for me in the past

sitting and letting him cry like two

minutes seems like an hour but there

have been many times where I would sit

and wait and they would stop crying on

their own after a few minutes which is

great because they're starting to learn

how to soothe themselves give yourself a

time limit maybe it's two minutes maybe

you're willing to go to five minutes so

once Jace was around like a month and a

half or two months old

if you cry during a nap time or cried at

night we would wait about three to five

minutes first and see if he would stop

on his own many times he did and we were

so glad we like gave him the opportunity

to actually soothe himself and fall back

asleep a lot of times they're just in

and out of sleep cycles and you just

have to give them a few minutes and

they'll fall back asleep but if they

don't start crying after your set time

here are some ways that you can actually

soothe them without even having to pick

them up many times if you pick them up

out of the crib that

expectation moving forward and that's

the only thing that's gonna be able to

soothe them but if you actually leave

them in the crib and try a few of these

things first we'll be surprised to see

how well they work this is called a

ferris wheel it's a great technique to

settle your baby from crying before you

actually put them into their crib for a

nap or before going to sleep and then if

your baby wakes up crying during a nap

first thing I would try is rubbing their

belly for a few minutes and if that

doesn't work then try the jiggle

you basically just jiggle their belly

like this and after a few minutes they

usually tend to doze off I worked really

really well with Jase I have no idea why

but this was typically what I would end

up doing to get him to fall back asleep

during nap times if none of those worked

I would basically just end up giving him

a pacifier and that would typically

soothe him so that he can fall back

asleep and if none of those worked then

yes there's times I definitely picked

him up and just ended up rocking him

back to sleep in the rocking chair

there's no shame in that happening every

once in a while I just didn't want it to

become habit I learned these techniques

from the moms on call booked and they

worked really well for me another set

rule from their book that I implemented

was at night time if he would wake up

crying I would wait the five minutes go

soothe him and that had to happen three

times in total before I picked him up to

feed him oh this is huge because it can

actually push your feeding times that

night later and later so that eventually

you're not feeding them as much for

example let's say I put Jace to bed at 7

p.m. and he wakes up crying at 10:00

p.m. instead of going in and just

feeding him right away assuming that

he's hungry we would let him cry for

five minutes

try the soothing techniques usually he

would go back to sleep and then if he

woke up again like thirty minutes later

we would once again let him cry for five

minutes do the soothing techniques and

let him do that whole thing one more

time before I finally did feed him it's

kind of regulating his body to actually

wait longer stretches between feedings

so then the next night it's like he

might wake up at 11 or 12 instead of 10

the moms on call book explains this

process really well so if there's any

confusion around anything I just said I

would reference the book number three

put your baby to sleep in the crib

either awake or drowsy you do not want

to put them in their crib while they're

already sleeping the idea behind this is

you don't want to do the work for them

and rock them to sleep and then lay the

down because they're not actually

learning how to put themselves to sleep

now I probably started implementing this

more around like two or three months

because obviously when there are

newborns and a month old it is really

hard to do this I totally get it you

want to rock your baby to sleep like you

love holding your baby and you're just

in love with your child like you want to

watch them fall asleep in your arms but

in a sense you're doing yourself a

disservice because later on it's gonna

be very very hard to get your baby to

fall asleep on their own and you're

basically training them to fall asleep

in your arms what goes hand-in-hand with

this is the idea of feeding your baby to

fall asleep whether it's on the breast

or with a bottle once again it's not

following the eat play sleep schedule

and you're actually teaching them Oh in

order to fall asleep I feed you so they

start falling asleep on the breast

once again contradicting that idea that

they need to put themselves to sleep but

here's some tips on how to do that when

you feed your baby whether you're

breastfeeding or with the bottle feed

them in a well-lit area perfect example

this room a lot of Sun coming through

the window they're awake there's usually

noise going on in here like the TV is on

or we have music playing so it's keeping

them awake while they're feeding keeping

babies awake while feeding is so hard

especially when they're just newborns

they are constantly falling asleep at

the breast but like we talked about

early it's really important that they

get a full feeding so we have to keep

them awake I would tickle Jace's toes to

try to keep him awake or like rub his

back when I was switching sides for

breast feeding I would pick him up and

try to like wake him up a little bit or

I would actually go and change his

diaper and that would usually wake him

up again so that I can finish up on the

other side before he falls asleep you

basically do what you need to do to make

sure that they are truly getting a full

feeding this is very challenging at

night when you're exhausted and the

baby's exhausted and so you want to just

hurry up and get it feeding over with

but then they just end up waking sooner

again if you don't feed them fully kind

of going along with this when you do a

nighttime feeding it should be very

businesslike go in pick up the baby turn

off the sound machine breastfeed them

change their diaper back to sleep it

shouldn't be cuddles it shouldn't be

confusing them turning the light on

making them think it's daytime should be

very quick and to the point and get the

baby back to sleep right away so those

are my three main tips I tried to share

as much details as possible on how we

implemented these things but when I

followed these guide

he eventually dropped feedings one after

the other so when he was born I think I

woke up at least four to five times in

the night to feed him and then by the

time he was like four weeks he shifted

to three feedings in the night when he

was eight weeks twice the night and then

ten weeks he went down to one feeding a

night I pretty sure it was around 1:00

in the morning but then what happened

was I realized I should just give him a

dream feed if you've never heard of a

dream feed it's the best thing ever it's

basically a feeding that you do around

like 10:00 or 11:00 p.m. the idea is you

do it before you go to sleep so that you

can go in the room babies kind of like

half asleep still you give them a quick

breast feeding put them back down and

then they can sleep through the rest of

the night so I started doing this when

he was 12 weeks old we would put him to

sleep at 7 p.m. I would sneak in around

10:30 give him a quick dream feed and

then he would sleep through the rest of

the night until 7 in the morning it did

the dream feed for I think about 3 to 4

weeks and then I tried stopping it to

see if he would just sleep 12 hours

straight and he basically did so at this

point he is 19 weeks old he is sleeping

12 hours through the night praise God we

are very happy that this worked for us

and it worked for Jase but I do want to

say it was not easy as I'm talking about

it now sure I can be happy and excited

but along the way it was very difficult

it was one step forward two steps back

it was up and down it was you know sleep

regressions along the way and growth

spurts and so it was never perfect but

overall generally implementing these

guidelines actually worked and even

along the way I like Richie was

questioning me like are you sure the

schedule is okay are you sure this is a

good idea it's not working yet he's not

sleeping through the night yet and I

just trusted what the book said and I

kept going and I really felt conviction

that this was going to work for our

family I've never used this leaf

consultant but I've read a lot of

information on like taking care of

babies who's a really popular sleep

consultant on Instagram and from what

I've seen they're using a lot of these

methods as well also the idea with this

is to develop them properly so that you

don't have to use the cry it out method

letting them cry five minutes is not cry

it out method cry it out is just

straight up I'm gonna let my baby cry

for hours in the night for three days in

a row and then they'll learn which yes

probably works but it doesn't have to be

that way these methods are also teaching

your baby how to start self soothing

that they don't always need you to be

soothed when they wake up in the night

so what we've seen personally in our

home through choosing these methods is

that overall we're just a more happy

functioning home Jase is developing

tremendously and very well he's

obviously growing a ton he's learning

his brain is growing sleep is huge very

important so it's obviously good for all

of us but I do think it's really

important to remember this doesn't work

for everyone

I don't want to missguided anybody I

just want to share what worked for us

but I don't want anyone to compare their

situation to mine or think they're not a

good mom because it didn't work for them

or anything like that I think it's so

important to remember every single baby

is different and you are their mom for a

reason and you know what's best for them

so please be encouraged this video is

not meant to make anybody feel bad I'm

hoping it will help some people out

there and if you are having trouble and

you just at this point don't know what

to do with your baby anymore I would

encourage you to contact a sleep

consultant they could probably help you

identify some factors that are

contributing to your baby not sleeping

and here's the last thing your baby is

more than their sleep so yes this

question is so popular is your baby

sleeping through the night yet and

everybody wants to know but there's so

much more to your child than that they

are learning who you are they might be

learning to breastfeed or bottle feed or

maybe their neck is getting stronger or

they're starting to turn over or they're

like holding things like there's so much

more to a baby than them sleeping at

night yes it's important but I had to

remind myself in those moments where he

was totally struggling Jase is doing

great in other areas like he's so good

at tummy time or he's so observant so

you really have to focus on okay what's

going well and remind yourself you're

doing the best that you can there was

nights where I was up crying or calling

my sister's asking for help because I

just didn't know what to do anymore so

it was not a perfect journey even now

like at the moment he's struggling with

naps and we realized oh we probably need

to transition him to the new schedule

and we did and it helped a lot so

there's always different things going on

but I think that if I never implemented

any of these things it would be a

thousand times worse okay guys that is

all that I have for today's video I

really really hope it helped people out

there if so please leave a comment below

and let me know if you're interested in

seeing our daily lives make sure to

follow us on Instagram at Nicole and

Richie leave comments with

other baby type videos you would like to

see as always we love you guys and

appreciate you so much and we will see

you in our next video