Relationship Advice - The Master Plan For Creating An Amazing Relationship

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hey this is Leo for actualised org and

in this video we are going to talk

relationship advice all right so let's

talk a little bit about relationships

and what I want to do in this video is

give you some deep insights some deep

advice about relationships how do you

create a situation in your life where

you have a deep fulfilling successful

relationship and what I'm gonna do in

this video is going to give you some

deep wisdom some stuff you might not

want to hear alright this is how it

actually has to happen and I'm going to

go to some of the problems and some of

the reasons why people go about this

completely the wrong way if you've been

struggling to create a good happy

relationship then it's going to be

coming immediately obvious to you why

this is we're going to touch on the root

deep root causes alright so when I when

I started to really study sexuality and

dating and relationships the way started

to do that was by getting involved with

the pickup community now people hear

this and they say oh pickup community

pickup that's weird what are you doing

you're a player this is stupid how can

you be doing this stuff

alright so I'm going to cover that in

other videos I'm not going to get into

that that's a very very deep topic but

what I want to say is that the reason

that I actually got into pickup was

because of this problem that I saw there

is a problem in society alright this is

a problem that applies to you no matter

who you are what gender what race what

country you're in what age anything if

you want a successful intimate

relationship then you're going to have

to deal with the harsh reality that we

have a forty percent divorce rate at a

minimum forty percent divorce rate not

only that but the people that still stay

married 60 to the 60 percent that do

stay married a large majority of them

are married but miserable and the people

that get divorced or are just not even

in a mare

Ridge but are simply in long-term

relationships or any kind of

relationship a lot of those are

dysfunctional as well so when you see

that when I see that I tell myself Wow

okay so clearly something is amiss here

something is awry and the way that

people are dealing with relationships

the way they're managing their

relationships the way they're

approaching them is fundamentally flawed

can we agree on that that it's

fundamentally flawed

if the overwhelming majority of everyone

in the world is struggling with this

issue and is in a dysfunctional

relationship or does a relationship that

has to end and end in some sort of

bitter divorce can we assume that well

this is why I got into pickup because

ultimately I didn't get into pickup for

sex that's why most people get it to

pickup it's like a guy he's young he

wants to have some sex he wants to bang

a bunch of hot girls so he gets to pick

up that's not really why I got into

pickup I wanted to pick up for personal

development reasons and I got into

pickup because I saw that what I wanted

is a goal for myself you know

I go for myself I said what I really

want is I want a really amazing

girlfriend I want someone that I can be

really compatible with and I want to be

able to manage that in an excellent way

I want to have a relationship that's

extraordinary and that's not the kind of

relationship that I see other people

having I didn't see my parents having it

I didn't see any of my friends parents

having it I didn't see it happening in

the movies I didn't see it happening in

popular cultures I didn't see

celebrities having it so anywhere you

look you see examples of massive failure

ways not to do it so what I said to

myself is okay wait a minute so if I

really want to have a successful

relationship then I have to start

addressing some of these problems

because clearly if I just do what other

people do I'm going to get the kind of

results that they've gotten and I'm not

satisfied at all with that kind of life

so for me I said okay I got to do

something different so I turned to pick

up I started to explore a lot of stuff

eventually found pickup got into that

learned so so much but ultimately where

that was coming from was to understand

and I knew that to really master this

relationship situation to create an

amazing relationship to have a nice

girlfriend to maybe get married at one


and actually keep it happy and

long-lasting the only way I could do

that is if I applied massive massive

intellect to the process massive amounts

of consciousness and practice and

experience that's the only way it can

happen and that's my relationship advice

to you is if you want a really excellent

relationship you have to start to take

it very seriously all right I find most

people take relationships very casually

in the sense that they like they don't

study they don't try to learn about how

to actually create a successful

relationship they just assume that

they're a master at it already they just

assume that they know how to love they

know what love is they know they know

what sex is they know how to have sex

they know how to communicate they know

how to manage emotions they know

everything they soon they're an expert

when in fact they know nothing and so

this ignorance keeps them totally in the

dark and it keeps that cycle of

dysfunctional and broken relationship

happening again and again and again you

know it's an interesting statistic that

of the people that do get divorced those

same people if they remarry their

chances of divorce actually increase and

that's called second divorces so second

divorces are actually more likely to

happen if you've already been divorced

and actually what happens that if you

need to get divorced twice the chance

that you get married again and get

divorced is even higher so basically

people are getting divorced and they're

becoming stupider and stupider in the

process so it's not that they're getting

more successful they're getting even

less successful it's a crazy crazy world

crazy statistic so with that being the

case you know you have to really teach

yourself don't assume that you know what

a good relationship is don't assume you

know anything about relationships

because honestly you don't you're not

born knowing how to create good

relationships that's not how it is right

and just because you've been with a

high-school sweetheart or you dated a

few people does not make you a

relationship expert chances are that

unless you've heavily studied

relationships and sexuality then you

know very very little about the

psychology of the opposite sex you know

very little about female psychology and

you know very little about male

psychology if you're if you're the

opposite sex they're guys know very

little about girls and girls

very little about guys and because we

don't understand each other it's very

difficult to have a successful

relationship so the solution here is to

study it right if you wanted to become

an excellent golfer what would you do if

you want to become a professional golfer

someone that could rival Tiger Woods

what would you do would you just pick up

a club and start swinging away and

expect to become Tiger Woods or would

you start like cracking books and going

and finding coaches and tutors to help

you understand how the game works

and practicing your ass off and really

dedicating yourself to it right you

would do that right you would commit to

a path of mastery now if you wanted to

become an engineer how would you become

an engineer would you become an engineer

by by simply sitting at home and

building little things on your you know

in your little workshop or would you

start cracking open books and you would

spend years learning physics and

chemistry and mathematics and advanced

calculus and then going and getting a

degree in engineering and then maybe

getting a master's degree in engineering

and then going and doing an internship

at an engineering company and learning

the whole process of how engineering

works and then actually getting a job as

a as a certified engineer right which

one of those is a better path towards

mastering engineering right it's the

second it's the mastery process right

the path of mastery you're not going to

get good by just assuming you're already

good engineer or good golfer and

likewise with the relationship if you

want to be good in a relationship you

have to study you have to study

sexuality if to study the opposite sexes

psychology you have to study your own

psychology you have to study the

problems that are common in

relationships all the common pitfalls

you have to work deeply on yourself to

start to fix all the potential hang-ups

that could sabotage your relationship

and this is ultimately my advice for you

is start to look at your relationship as

something that's very serious something

that you're going to master someone

something you're going to really study

apply a lot of conscious conscious

effort to and ultimately the way that

you're going to fix your relationship is

by fixing yourself you cannot control

the other person this is one of the

things are going to learn when you start

to study the psychology other people is

that you're going to learn that

controlling other people is a huge waste

of time and it's not going to work the

only thing you can control is yourself

the only thing you can change is your

own psychology and if you keep getting

into dysfunctional relationships and

they keep failing it's not because other

people are bad it's because your

psychology is sabotaging you so you have

to commit to personal development that's

what I did that's why I got it - pick up

pick up actually if you start to do pick

up correctly there's a lot of methods of

doing pick up that is incorrect and I

don't have a cake but if you start doing

it correctly what you're going to do is

you're gonna do a lot of deep inner

personal development work because you

have to which you realize if you go out

and you try a couple of pickup lines

little gimmicks is you realize that

actually women don't respond to that and

you're not going to get laid from that

the only way they're going to get laid

and then get a relationship and

potentially a marriage the only way

that's going to happen is if you start

to work on yourself so if you're coming

from place where you're very deficient

like I was with women and with dating

you'll understand anything and you can't

get a date to save your life then you

have to admit to yourself well dammit

I don't really know enough I'm not

confident I'm not I'm not doing things

correctly I'm screwing something up in

the process and when you realize that

they say oh okay

so there's something wrong with me I

have to go and start to fix and start to

improve my understanding and so that's

what I did is I went through a long

grueling two-year process and I'm still

going through it of increasing my

understanding and direct experience with

the opposite sex and all that ultimately

came back to me it was about improving

me to get into a better relationship to

get a better quality girl to get a

better quality man the way that you do

that is by working on yourself personal

develop that Sall you need you don't

need anything else you need knowledge

and understanding of relationships and

then you need to work on yourself here's

what you should work on you should work

on the following things number one is

you should work on your sexual abundance

you have to be abundant you cannot be in

scarcity mode and being a successful

relationship so that means that if

you're super needy and you have no

options with the

opposite sex at all and you just happen

to get lucky one day and one day some

guy or some girl comes up to you and you

strike up a conversation you fall madly

in love that might seem like oh you got

saved actually you didn't get saved at

all because your neediness the lack of

abundance that you have is going to

manifest and it's going to creep into

that relationship and it's going to

totally destroy it no chance in hell at

all that's stuff that you see in movies

those romantic comedies or just two

people bump into each other and maybe

you have some like desperate girl or

some desperate guy and they bump into

each other and they're there their life

is just this beautiful romance never

ever going to happen in real life in

real life what happens is that when

you've got a desperate guy or Dutch girl

they come together what happens that

desperation it seeks in there and it

talks af-- eyes the relationship and it

basically completely destroys it

that's why you need to have abundance

you need to have options you cannot be

in scarcity you can't be in a successful

relationship all the while fearing that

if that person leaves you then you're

or not find as the case may be

you cannot maintain a successful

rationally it's too much pressure that

pressure will kill you it will destroy

the relationship so you have to create

abundance work on yourself to create

that abundance you can do that by going

out and socializing more building a

bigger social circle doing pick up going

bars and clubs you know whatever there's

a million different ways I'm not going

to get into all that here the next thing

is finances get your finances in order

get your career in order to get your

business in order I think the number two

reason I was looking at the statistics

the number two reason that people get

divorced is because of financial

difficulties financial problems finance

creates a lot of tension in a

relationship if you are strapped for

money or the other person strapped for

money or you cannot handle your money or

you waste it to frivolously or you're

too stingy with it and the other person

is too deal-breaker the relationship is

going to end it's going to be very very

miserable so you want to make sure that

you have a good understanding of money

good grasp of your financial situation

you can handle your money well so that

you're not dysfunctional in that area of

your life many ways to do that that I

won't cover here next is your health you

need to take care of your health

that means nutrition and

and fitness nutrition and gym right

whether you're a guy or girl this

applies to you if you have bad health

it's going to it's going to start to

sabotage your relationship as well in

all sorts of ways if you're a woman it's

going to become problematic because guys

are very visually oriented and if you

start to let your health slide then guy

just might simply leave you if you're a

guy and you start to let your health

deteriorate well I mean there's there's

all sorts of different problems or to

come up with that you sort of get low

energy all of a sudden you can't do

exciting stuff anymore

oh with your with your girl and then

what happens is that you you you

basically start to distance from each

other and she loses attraction for you

or some sort of other tensions are

created because of health lack of

fitness and the lack of nutrition so

that's a one you have to look out for

and the other stuff is the the

psychology you have to start to work on

your psychology you have to really take

a look at any kind of limiting beliefs

or any kind of serious psychological

hang-ups that you have because those are

going to get amplified in a relationship

tenfold it's going to totally blow up

the relationship if for example you have

anxiety if you have anger problems if

you have childhood issues if you have

severe irrational you know paranoia

obsessive-compulsive disorder - any kind

of neurotic behavior basically when

you're with somebody and you're with

them for a long time that neurotic

behavior starts to manifest itself in so

many nasty ways that it it toxify that

relationship makes it impossible to have

one so so those are some of the areas in

your life and they're probably more I'm

not going to cover all of them here

these are some of the pillars that you

got to cover to maintain a healthy

relationship so this is ultimately my

advice to you do personal development

take relationships very seriously and

put the burden of responsibility on

yourself it's not luck that's going to

create a good relationship there are no

lucky good relationships it's not going

to happen by luck it's not just going to

magically happen and you're not an

expert unless you study this stuff and

you really analyze all this stuff and

done a lot of introspection and even if

you have done all that and you yourself

have no personal self control if you're


if you're prone to anger childhood

issues you're bad with your finances you

have no other options you're neurotic in

all sorts of different ways man it's

it's impossible the best person in the

world Jesus Christ himself if he was

resurrected and was in a relationship

with you he could not make it work all

right so you have to realize that

realize that it's so important so this

is the the core fundamental of

relationship advice right it's not a

little trick it's not some little

technique it's not something you read in

Cosmo magazine this is it this is the

deep wisdom now this also means you have

to do a lot of work right the amount of

work that I've put into understanding

the opposite sex is obscene it would

literally disgust you to know everything

that I've done to do it I literally bled

for it I've literally invested hundreds

of hours studying I've invested

thousands of hours in the field

practicing this stuff doing it and I'm

still not at the level that I feel I

need to be at to maintain a successful

relationship so it takes a lot but you

know what if relationships are important

to you if you really value that in your

life if you think that you need love and

companionship and you want that to work

out well then then this is what you got

to do then it's worth it right you're

not going to get something of true value

for nothing the things that are really

worthwhile in life you have to put a

little bit of effort into you have to

put a little bit of consciousness into

you have to commit to some sort of

mastery process and that's what I'm

encouraging you to do with your

relationships all right this is Leo

signing off this what I have to say

about relationships

go ahead post me your comments down

below I'd love to hear what you guys

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what I found is that to create an

extraordinary life whether it's with

relationships or money or fitness or

health or your career or anything to do

that you need to really get on board and

become a hobbyist of personal

development start to master your own


the best way to do that is to to keep

yourself on track in a steady way

don't just watch one video one video is

not going to fix you it's not really

change your life but through a gradual

process of watching a video every other

week or watching a few videos here and

there going out taking some action doing

some exercises that kind of process that

kind of process can create an

extraordinary level of quality in life

multiplied over months and years so

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