I Carried Out My Own Abortion

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a second when I felt nothing

Because I really disliked the man that I was with and after after years of having to put up with him

I was like this child I would hate this child

I I feel bad, but I feel [nothing] this is Eliza. She's 23

It's the abortion me you feel quite

And this is me it was actually it kind of brought me down like crazy for a little bit because I was like damn it

Another one like it feels ugly saying like that, but if I like another child, and I had to give up

But still it's not the right time for [it]. I'd be depressed

I might do drugs who know what I'll do maybe I'll abandon it like I could tell them what wasn't ready still

Last year Eliza carried out her own abortion and a report by the university of Texas suggests that she's not alone

They reckon between 100 and 200 thousand women in the state have done it, too

Although there's no proven link many think the legal situation here isn't helping in

2013 a law was passed in Texas that's been pretty controversial. It's known as house bill 2 or hB 2 or sometimes even

Sb 2 the lawmakers say that it's supposed to make [abortions] safer for women

But other people say [that] the changes are actually quite unnecessary and even restricting people's access to abortions

for many clinics meeting the

Requirements of the Bill is just too costly and so far nearly half the clinics in Texas have had to close since hB 2 came

In it's a hot topic right now because this month the supreme court will [decide] whether to keep the law or scrapped it

So Eliza lives in El Paso, Texas and a year ago

[she] crossed the border [to] this place Juarez in Mexico to buy a pill that's illegal without a prescription in the United States

It's usually used for stomach ulcers or miscarriages

but Eliza used that pill called misoprostol

To carry out her own abortion

She offered to take me back to where she bought it

This feel weird here you go back going back now. Oh

the first one

You cross [the] bridge. It's the small little Mexican city and basically the rules are so [lack] so you can get away with in here

There we are there's a lot of dedicated dentists podiatrists. It's not a prescription drug in Mexico

You can just buy it and so the first clinic

I walked into happily [sold] me the drug for just thirty bucks. No questions asked and the others would have done the same


I'm hungry

You take those pills underneath your tongue you walk around for a little bit

30 minutes with the walking and then 20 minutes sitting down to e I started I thought the pain

Like you know it's a constant throbbing ache and then within about

Five to six hours it starts to go away

And then the heavier bleeding starts misoprostol when it's self administered for abortions can be really dangerous

Women might not know how far along. They are an internet forum suggests different doses, but that's certainly not medical advice

Despite the dangers. It's got one strong appeal for some

It's so cheap compared to five hundred dollars and you can take to take this up [to] six months along

Which is really yeah, no you can't you can take a significant your body will be in pain

you will reject you will reject a

Larger fetus, and you will have to go to emergency room, but it will give an abortion for six months is Beyond

But you can do it get you your reading stuff on forums, and then you're kind of self-medicating

There's no

instructions, no

There's nothing so like even if it was for stomach ulcer you have no

Good that's how come these are met these are for prescriptions you have them a prescription with us, but don't have a prescription

Exactly, it's very [nerve-racking] here

Very nerve-wracking the fact that you can purchase anything you need without help that's not my thing a lot of people probably do get hurt

I don't think it's right, but it's useful

It's so useful as I exact word right now [actually]

It's useful because I knew what I was doing because I research is so heavily

But if a girl didn't know and she [just] decided to take the whole lot because all the more would be effective. That's dangerous

tell me the main Reason and

Evil favor this poison the people the pro-lifers the protesters and the people who judge you naming the clinics as well and also

Money, I think it's the catholic being also just the law

Abortions are heavily regulated. That's it and

Honestly, I don't think they should be regulated if somebody has a choice

they can make to go in somewhere to do that if you guys have that opportunity have free access to the

Healthcare and abortions. [I] feel like we should have the same thing

When Eliza talks about going to buy the pills she seems really matter of fact about it

but actually

it's not very nice thing to do obviously there's the pain and the bleeding that she talks about and also there's border control here and

The fact that it's just not [very] easy

To talk about abortion here in Texas

First time she told me it was over the phone and she was just apologizing and crying

And I told her not to worry just to come home. Don't worry about it

We'll take care of everything [the] only thing I could think of is this guy be on top of my daughter

[wow], this is Cindy Eliza's Mom

She did a research to a point, but we didn't know was gonna work that fast she turned pale on me

I mean white I'm gonna give her a tequila. I might just go come on. Let's do this

Let's drink this let's get back across cuz we were pretty far out. I prayed a lot

What did you cry [for] did she want it [dad]? I mean do you want to get out I?

Just didn't want to bleed out [or] not

She didn't want the child yeah, and she was really sad she cried a lot. [I] know she was depressed

[oh] yeah, and I didn't want to do nothing else stupid. You know I?

Pray do you get that yeah?

Yes, it is

My mom was here if you love me. I'm sorry

it's her little sister seen all this too and

It's just hot it's that

To see all this and you don't want to see your kids in pain. You don't want to see them suffer

Sometimes you just want to get them as like. Oh you're doing. What are you doing?

Stop doing this stop stop doing this

Please you're worrying me

But Eliza everything apparently went okay, but [for] others the story can be quite different I

Met this doctor in El. Paso. [she] didn't want to go on camera because she was too afraid of being targeted professionally and personally

Certainly the more dire cases that we've seen is patients getting the medication and not knowing how far along they were

One of the cases she had such extensive bleeding that she was really concerned

That in fact her words were I had so much bleeding. I thought I was going to die so she had already ruptured her uterus

She could have bled into the abdomen and you could have

overwhelming infection

Perhaps she came at the right time but she ended up getting a hysterectomy because that injury couldn't be put together

When we asked them why you know why couldn't you just come here and have a safe procedure?

They thought it was illegal here in the state of Texas even though they lived here

using medication definitely puts women in a position of having an unsafe outcome I

Feel very him sorry

Maybe this has affected me, but I never really considered it

When you speak [to] a doctor who starts crying because she's so frustrated with her options for treating patients in need abortions

You start to realize this isn't a story about one woman who crossed a bridge to buy a pill to bring on her own

Some people are worried that

The closure of clinics in Texas is going to drive more people to carry out their own abortions

So I'm coming to [meet] agree for people who are

Protesting against abortions to ask them what they [think] about that [map] wise [mary] of it

You know we have her here because she's pregnant

You know she's carrying you know Jesus christ our savior

Gabriela is the campaign director at 40 days for life if we would use her as an example to trust. God completely and fully

We wouldn't we wouldn't women wouldn't experience the pain of abortion [I]

Know carrying the son of God hmm a bit different. You know, but you know what we're [all] carrying you know

I'm no brain. I think

We we can carry a potential leader. We can carry the next person that will love you for the rest of your life

I mean, I do really I do think that abortion should be illegal [if] a woman

Sees that abortion is illegal then I'm not going to do something illegal because it's so controversial

It's like well, you know people say you know well. Do you want women dying all over the place with their [self-induced] abortions?

Well, we haven't seen [that] happen. We know of cases where [people] had catastrophic bleeding

Richard you sources it come in extreme pain

So it's not that there's dangerous. This is happening

Yes, I mean if it's happening. We don't hear reports of it

But we just talked about that report that indicated [it] might be like around

[200] [thousands] if that's the case you know I'd like to see something that goes deeper

You know that asks the right question some people are worries that clinics closing is charging women to carry out self abortions


Think you know, it's still a woman's choice. You know to do that

I don't think that that that pressure that responsibility should be shifted towards people that are either

Protesting or praying outside

Main thing about meeting [Gabrielle] was it is quite hard to get her to?

Accept the people were carrying out their own portions for them. It was all about

Gently approaching women and [give] him a choice

Closing down these clinics for the safety of women trying to make abortion safer. They say is empowering women

This is one of the remaining two clinics in El

Paso that might face closure if [hbt] remains I've always believed in a woman's right [to] choose


See patients who have tried to do the process themselves

How often dea say women come in they don't fit up in a month? I would probably see maybe four


actually tell you if they don't have to [disclose] if they don't

they don't want to be judged and even if a doctor writes for

Misoprostol for a miscarriage the pharmacies are very reluctant to even feel it the pharmacist has the right

to dispense medication according to their beliefs and

if they

think it's like it's not for miscarriage it's for an abortion and

I don't do that, but if it doctors written a prescription for medicine that a person needs

the pharmacy cannot override that

Is it other drugs they do it with or is it? This is this kind of a key one? This is a key one

Obviously hb 2 is in discussion at the moment in the Supreme court

Do you think there are quite big ramifications for clinics like this one if it's upheld?

Yeah, I do. I think we're more [close] if it's upheld you really think they're lower [place]. It will Mm-hmm

Why why not just meet the regulations?

Well, we try

but to the tune of three to four million dollars

abortion is a big contentious issue for everyone involved if

Clinics like this continue to close. How many more women are going to take matters into their own home?

When it's just a simple coming and going this is all it is you come you buy your purchase you leave

And that's then you go home, and you wait

very easy