How to get rid of a
Bad Reputation
How To Fix Your Reputation
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In today's world of information and the exchange of information, your reputation
can get damaged very quickly. How do you fix your reputation? Especially in
today's information world, it's really easy to get a reputation that you don't
really like. There are things you can do that absolutely work. In fact, I've got
ten of them for you today. Let's frame this up as a top 10 and we'll do a
little countdown. Starting with number 10, stop being a jerk. Now, I throw that
out there in kind of harsh language. Let's be open to the fact that the way
we act sometimes gets us into trouble. And it doesn't mean you are a jerk. It
means that you've shown up as a jerk at certain times. Knock it off.
That's what's causing the bad reputation to start with. Now, I know that it's not
always that way. But there's a lot of really good stuff that you want to come
through instead. Unfortunately, people notice the things that we do that are
jerkily. And so that's how those reputations get started. Make sure that
you're curtailing that kind of behavior. If that's what started it and fueled it.
Let's move up to number 9. Care about how you impact people. You do have an
impact on other people. And I've seen that a lot of times a bad reputation
just explodes and takes off if you don't care how other people feel about you. Now,
at another level what other people think about you is none of your business. And I
don't want that to drive every aspect of your behavior. It is important to at
least care enough to understand that you do have an impact on other people and
that you care what that impact is. That's why it's number 9. Let's go up to
number 8. Take immediate action. As soon as you realize that your reputation
is not what you want it to be, take some action.
I think this is especially true in today's online world. And I'm not an
expert in all the cyber aspects of your relationship. But there are people who
can help you with that. And if you notice that it's hurting you
to have this reputation out there that's less than favorable, do something and do
it sooner than later. Take immediate action. Number 7, this probably ties
into number 1 actually. Apologize appropriately for any misbehavior. If you
have messed up, if you have been a jerk at some point, make an appropriate
apology. And really not the kind that my kids used to do and I said, "You need to
apologize to your brother." "I'm sorry, gosh." No. Appropriate, genuine, authentic.
Let's get sincere about this. Because if you actually hurt someone. how do you
feel about that? That's not good, is it? So, be sincere, make an appropriate apology.
When you know that it would be appropriate to do. So along with the
apology, let's add a number 6 here. Make amends when you can. Sometimes you hurt
people in a way that you can't unhurt them, right? If you can make amends, you
should. Why? Well, we're talking about your reputation here. What kind of person are
you? Are you the kind of person that never makes a mistake? No. And you never
will be. So probably, you're going to hurt people at some point. When you do, what
kind of person are you? Well, you're the kind of person who makes
an appropriate apology and makes amends wherever you can. If you can't make
direct amends to the person that you have hurt or wronged then pick something
that allows you to create this new reputation that you are going to do
everything you can to make corrections to this. You know an example of
that I thought of. Someone who is a guest on my podcast years ago. His name is
Frank Abagnale. Some of you will recognize his name because he was the
feature of a movie called Catch Me If You Can. You might remember that the
movie is about one of the most notorious con men of our time. It was Frank. But it
was him when he was really young. Making amends, Frank has spent the last 35 years.
Probably more than that working to apply the knowledge that got him into trouble
in the first place. To create a better world, a safer world, a
world where there is less fraud and deception. And my hat goes off to Frank.
and to other people who have made the effort to make appropriate amends even
if you can't make them to the person that you hurt to better our society.
let's go to number 5 on the list. be patient. it takes a while to change your
reputation. unfortunately, negative things usually grab more traction than positive
things when it comes to your reputation. if there have been a few things that
have tarnished it a bit, it's going to take a while to work through that in a
way that people start to see you differently. and unfortunately, some
people are just going to hang on to the negativity. Don't be too tipped over by
that. But practice patience so that you don't get unrealistic expectations about,
"Well by now, people should have a different opinion of me." Yeah, they might
not yet. So, be patient. Moving up to number 4, be humble. And open to
feedback and input from others. Humility is where we give up our need to be right
about something in exchange for being open. Really, it's about what's right. Not
who's right. Sometimes we hang on to our pride because we don't want to be proven
wrong. I love the way that Katherine Schultz
summarized this in her TED talk on being wrong. She said, "How does it feel to be
wrong?" And the input she got from our audience was, "Oh, it's awful, it's terrible.
We hate it." She corrected them. "No, you're describing what it feels like to find
out that you're wrong." How does it feel to be wrong? Feels just like being right.
Until you find out otherwise. Sometimes we want to hang on to that being right.
Remember, it's about what's right not who's right. Moving up to number 3 on
our list. This is obvious. Practice positive behavior. I use the word
practice on purpose. Especially if you're not used to being positive. Tou've
probably got a reputation for being negative in that case. Practicing being
positive implies that it's not going to be completely easy at first. You know when
you learn a new skill for example. A new musical instrument, a new language. It
takes a while to get comfortable with this whole new thing that you're
learning. And it's similar here. Practicing positive behavior sometimes
feels awkward or unnatural at first. Keep practicing. You'll get better at it.
Number 2, get a coach or accountability partner. It's hard to do this on your own.
Partially because everything that you see is within your own mind and within
your own skin. It's like you're inside of a box and your whole experience is
projected on the inside of this box, it's all you know. You can get out of the box.
And there are instructions for getting out of your box but they're printed on
the outside of your box. That's why you want a coach or an accountability
partner that can help to read the instructions to you and give you loving
feedback that will help you to repair and fix this
reputation. And finally, coming in at number 1 on our list. Be consistent.
Continue to persist in doing this. It's the consistency that will finally
convince other people to see you differently. It will probably take a
little longer than you want it to but not as long as you fear. I hope that
you're finding these videos helpful. I'm so glad that you're here.
If you've found some value here, would you please share these videos in this
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