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I'm going to share with you three steps
to end any toxic relationship with the
narcissistic person not only will these
three steps in the current mess that
you're Tangled Up in with narcissists
whether it's your family members friends
lovers co-workers whomever but if you
implement these three steps in your
daily life I promise you that you will
never again deal with narcissistic
people they will be running from you
my name is Kevin and this is the Royal
weed now before I continue I want to let
you know that I'm here to support you
down in the description box you'll find
access for one-on-one appointments with
me in addition to that I have a brand
new life coaching program where I teach
every day Monday through Friday live
with questions and answers it's only 49
for the entire month and now my coaching
program is not some pre-recorded
material that you got to sit on your
couch by yourself and watch I'm actively
involved taking my time and spending it
with you each and every day and together
we're Breaking Chains together we're
moving forward together we're becoming
stronger
get down there and get registered or
schedule some time with me now today we
are going to be talking about three
powerful steps these steps sound simple
but in practicality they're not that
simple
hopefully I plan to make them that
simple by the end of this message
are you ready
let's do this step number one
make sure that ending any toxic
relationship is coming from your heart's
decision it must be a heart's decision
to end a toxic relationship with a
narcissistic person you do not need
permission from the outside which means
you don't need closure you don't need to
write some fancy long letter you don't
need to call them up on the phone and
tell them all the reasons why you want
the relationship to end because the
reality is is none of that stuff is
coming from a decision for you to end
the relationship that's coming from
looking for permission you're fishing
for something anytime you want to put
out there this long reason and excuse to
get them to change what you're really
doing is throwing out a fishing line
saying give me a reason to stay give me
just one tell me you're gonna work on
yourself blah blah blah blah blah
and by the way narcissistic people will
they'll see that crack wide open in you
and they will weasel right in there and
say oh okay no I will change I'll go to
counseling I'll I'll go I'll be better
okay I'll be better how many how many
times have you already heard that
nonsense
it may have worked the first second
third fourth fifth shame on you however
many times right now your decision has
to come from within from your heart to
where you've seen enough and your heart
has now made a decision saying I'm done
everybody say this with me I am done
I am done with the lies I am done being
cheated on I am done being mocked I'm
done being criticized I'm done with the
abuse I'm done I am done I'm so done I'm
ready to build a wall against me and the
narcissistic person I am done
now this is important because none of
the other steps are going to work unless
you get this down as a matter of fact
if you're not in a place where you're
ready from within your heart to be done
with the narcissistic people
turn the video off right now go watch
something else
go watch Conspiracy Theory videos
because the other steps aren't going to
make sense to you
so I don't want to waste your time
I know I said that number three is the
most important
but I'm actually now challenging that I
think number one is the most important
if you are not a place if you're not at
a place yet where your heart is done
with the relationship then there's
nothing you can do there's no YouTube
video you can watch I don't care if it's
Dr Romani or if Dr Carter or Dr Jordan
Peterson
none of their none of what they say will
ever matter until you are done in your
heart
and you're ready to seal up
and get that relationship at a distance
that allows you to feel safe all right
so for those of you who are at a place
where you are done within your heart
let's continue step number two now is
start with slow nose
slow nose say this with me everybody
slow nose what's a slow no a slow no is
actually just saying no
learn the habit of saying no to people
narcissistic person boyfriend girlfriend
calls you up hey what are you doing you
want to Netflix and chill haven't seen
you in a week no I'm busy sorry not
sorry bye thanks for the offer that's no
narcissistic family members call you up
hey you really need to come over to the
barbecue this weekend your aunt your
uncle and your brothers and sisters
everybody's going to be there and they
all think you're very weird because
you've been keeping yourself kind of
distant and we're all kind of tired of
it you really show up and it's your
family you can't just stay away from
your family yeah yeah look I'm I'm busy
no
yeah all right thanks for offering maybe
another time I'll catch up with y'all
later bye
that's no
you don't have to give a long excuse a
long reason you can if you want make
something up washing my hair sorry can't
do it sorry not sorry
yeah I'll be in the bath I'm not gonna
be able to make it bye
no
some of you right now might be saying
yeah Kevin you've never said no to a
narcissistic person then because you
don't know they go off the handle they
fly into a rage they make your life
miserable blah blah blah listen yes I
have been there and every time it
happens you know how I respond to it
yeah the answer is still no
let your yes BS and your no be know yes
they're going to fly off the handle who
cares so what they're like toddlers in a
grocery store toy aisle right Mommy
Daddy I want that toy buy me that toy
you haven't bought me a toy in in over a
month you don't love me anymore if you
don't buy me that toy I want I want I
want no
no I'm not getting you a toy
but you said I'm not no the answer's
still no
still no
like a wall still no as a matter of fact
the more you rage the more no it's going
to be the more aggressive I know becomes
the more aggressive you push that button
Mr narcissistic person so let them get
raged at you and let it Harden your know
even more and here's what you're going
to do you're going to start to develop
the pattern in your life the habit of
saying no which is going to change you
from being the yes person you've always
been I'm a giver
yes yes sir yes ma'am whatever you want
yes yes and listen by the way it's not
your fault we've all been that yes
person
modern christianese kind of taught us to
be that way say yes to everything be all
things to all people on and on and on
right which turned us into a bunch of
yes people being in situations around
people and doing things we have no
business being and why because we
arrogantly think we're doing the right
thing it's we become prideful in saying
yes
and hoping that they're accepting us
really they're just taking advantage so
it builds the habit of saying no instead
of yes
listen Jesus wasn't a yes boy he wasn't
a yes simp walking around saying yes to
everybody
right I know there's a hill song out
there
all your promises are yesterday men
yes and amen wrong
the Lord is not all about yes
to the Lord was no he wasn't joking
around there was plenty of nose
plenty of get out of here
it wasn't just a yes to everybody
kidding me you're not supposed to be a
yes person to everybody and neither am I
so we've got to crush that squash that
develop the habit of saying no
and here's what's going to happen The
Narcissist will leave you don't go no
contact with you that's why you don't
have to worry about no contact with a
narcissistic person all you got to do is
start saying no and narcissists will
leave you alone this is what gets them
running
after they throw their temper tantrum
after they yell and scream and fight
they'll realize we're not getting
anywhere I'm not getting anything
I'm not getting my sexy time
I'm not getting affection I'm not
getting my money they'll have no choice
they'll freak out they'll get mad
they'll get angry at you they'll cuss
and scream and shout like a child not
getting their toy and then they'll
realize I better move on and they will
go no contact with you to try to find
Supply elsewhere
but this only works like I said
if you follow step number one which is
make the decision from your heart
because it has to come from your heart
that you develop this solid wall of no
if you haven't first made the decision
in your heart then you'll always have
cracks in your no and narcissists will
weasel their way in through their
yelling and screaming and temper tantrum
throwing or making promises they'll find
the cracks and get in so that's why step
number one is important but then step
number two just learn to say no and if
you do this the right way narcissists
will go no contact with you and they'll
have to go find their stuff somewhere
else all right step number three then
which is the one I said is the most
important step number three is to
replace your addiction oh
I said it I know you're addicted I know
listen I've been doing this for five
years
talking with people about narcissistic
abuse helping people out of broken
relationships and I've had to get out of
it myself
so I know you're addicted as I was
addicted listen the reality is is we are
by our very nature addictive
if I said that right creatures
listen let me put it to you this way
this is how God designed us right
because we have to survive in this world
we would not survive in this world if we
did not have biochemistry
that produces what we need to be doing
right if it wasn't for adrenaline for
example we would have not had any
motivation to get up and run away from
the jackals that were chasing us out in
the wild when we were naked before
civilization was even built we all would
we wouldn't be here we'd all be mauled
to death a long time ago but because of
adrenaline we're able to get up and turn
these legs into wheels and get the heck
out of there
what powers that adrenaline
we are biochemical beings
what motivates us and drives Us in life
it's a reward-based system internally
endorphins serotonin these Juices Flow
and it makes the rewards in life worth
obtaining without that we'd sit around
like a rock
s don't need adrenaline but rocks don't
need endorphins or serotonin rocks don't
need chemicals right that's what we
would be but we need to accomplish
things so we need biochemistry this is
important to understand because
narcissistic people toxic relationships
if you will hijack all these bio
chemicals they hijack our system
the sex is good the fighting is good
everything is good and all of our juices
go from where they should be in life to
get us to a healthy place and they all
go into the relationship this
relationship grabs on and engages all of
our chemistry
you are addicted
how many of you have said it seems like
I no longer Know Who I Am anymore I've
lost my passions I've lost the things I
once used to like doing yeah
you traded it in because the fighting
and the sex and the name calling and all
the stuff pulled your juices if you will
your biochemistry it sunk it into that
relationship it became the most exciting
thing
because it was so intense
and as a result your painting hobby or
your flutophone or whatever you did back
in the day can't compete or compare
with
getting your hair pulled and called
names and then having rough sex or
whatever or all that stuff in that
relationship
so you have to find a way to balance out
your nose with creating exciting things
to do in your life it's okay to take
some time to process on your own and do
some self-isolation but then you have to
develop some exciting things even if you
have to lie to your body and trick your
body make yourself do things you can't
just sit on the couch eating potato
chips and watching movies your body will
disagree with you strongly and it will
straight up tell you if all you're going
to do is sit here and eat hot cheetos
I'm going to let that narcissistic
person back in your life because that's
more exciting than sitting here eating
hot Cheetos
and you'll have no control over your
body
so it's better to start to
make plans
test yourself test your limits in a
healthy way hit the gym lift weights
join a race go join a boxing club get
ready to fight somebody wearing gloves
for the first time risk getting knocked
out see how strong you are maybe go
skydiving
parasailing go on a trip by yourself do
something scare yourself do something
that's going to
be healthy and strengthen you in some
ways but is going to satisfy your your
your addictive needs get your juices
flowing a different direction from the
narcissistic person
this will ensure that you're not tempted
to go back
that's why it's so important so let's
recap the three important things I know
this has been long-winded thank you for
bearing with me but I hope this is a
powerful lesson for you number one
was once again make sure it's a heart's
decision or else nothing works number
two is just give slow no's deny yourself
and deny the narcissistic person
right and over time they'll leave you
alone
number three replace your addiction
you do this your life will change
forever
like I said before I'm here to support
you down in the description box you'll
find access for one-on-one appointments
with me in addition to that brand new
life coaching program it's all down
below so get down there get registered
I'll be back with more videos for you
right here on the Royal week
