How to get rid of a
Bad Friend
How to Get Rid of Toxic Friends | Pour Decisions With Candace
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I'm sweating because this is how much I
hate conversation welcome back to poor
decisions with me Candace
today we're going to be talking about
toxic friends this is a particularly
hard subject for me because I hate
confrontation and I'm horrible at
dealing with conflict so I feel like
this will be very useful for both you
and me friendship can be a super cool
great thing and make you feel really
good about yourself but sometimes they
cannot be good for your mental health
and just really make you feel bad from
master manipulators to people that are
just really bad influences we're going
to talk about how to identify and
eventually get rid of those horrible
toxic friendships so cue that boys to
men to say goodbye so I'm going to do my
best to answer all the questions you
gave me and help you find the right
people to surround yourself with you
know I don't really know what I'm
drinking I was handed this it's nice and
green and toxic and I'm ingesting it and
that's going to be our theme today all
right so I asked you guys to send me
questions about dealing with your toxic
friendship situations and I'm just going
to stay it might get a little deep might
get a little uncomfortable but that's
what I'm here for so let's dive right in
so chocolate sleepy bear asks what is a
toxic friendship and what are some red
flags
well unfortunately a toxic friendship is
an array of possibilities
they're freeloaders they make you feel
bad about yourself discredit you
criticize you feel your man and don't
feel bad about it honestly some of them
are drama queens and they live for drama
and every part of our life is drama and
you know what we don't have time for
that
friendships are hard they're work but
they're also two-way streets if you feel
like you're putting in all the effort
and you're doing everything you can to
make this person happy it's not a
healthy relationship it shouldn't be
completely effortless but you should be
happy to see them and happy to be around
them and they should make you feel like
your best self which sounds very cheesy
but it's true hey it's Leigh
he asked how do I know if I'm in a toxic
friendship you know sometimes
friendships just come easily can go with
the flow and sometimes they are work but
you want to work together and it's a
two-way street
double-o quick asks how do you suggest
getting rid of these toxic people or
getting away from them in your life in
high school in college you're kind of
stuck with these people and it can feel
like you always have to deal with them I
was in musical theater it's drama city
there I just had to either confront
people or just try to live the
drama-free life by really kind of
avoiding them not know like I'm
intentionally not speaking to you but
just don't fall into the drama trap mara
pop 96 asks my rude for cutting these
toxic people out of my life and moving
on no you're not you're not rude
sometimes if people choose to bring you
down with them it's really just not good
for you I feel like a lot of people
aren't happy for their friends when they
succeed and that can be a big problem be
humble dezz eggs V Pina asks why is it
so hard to leave these toxic friendships
even though I know they're toxic leaving
any relationship is hard really because
you've spent so much time with them and
you've got to know them really well odds
are you're probably a good person and
don't want to hurt their feelings and
that's also another thing that you have
to deal with it's either you stick with
these people and you feel bad and you're
dragged down or you can just cut it off
it might hurt for a little bit but in
the long run you're doing yourself a
favor and these people might not know
the impact they're having on your life
in this toxic way talk about the
problems you've been having and what's
been going on you're not a perfect
person I'm not a perfect person they're
not a perfect person but they might not
know what's bothering you but if they
don't change kick them out you don't
need that crap load vandals we're just
name is crapload crap load x fandom asks
a pretty complicated question that I'm
sure people have dealt with what do you
do if your entire circle of friends is a
toxic group of friends but you're not
really that close to your family and
they're not all
present I think this can be a really
hard thing especially when you're trying
to grow up and find that really great
circle of friends so when you move to a
new place or a new school you have
friends out of convenience and sometimes
when those friendships get toxic you can
kind of feel like there's nowhere to go
especially if you're not that close to
your family but if you look at what
really makes you happy and those
activities join groups outside of school
or work and those friendships will
naturally come with it softy x oq ask
somebody so my friends away from me and
they hate me so I just stopped hanging
out with them is that the right thing to
do
oh softie I feel like I've been there
you know what I've been there especially
when my boyfriend dumped me and he took
all of my friends he broke up with me
and then they all hung out with him at
lunch and I sat alone at lunch and
watched them enjoy their lives at the
table and I was sitting alone eating my
tater tots and it was so fat one of my
best friends before I got dumped
started dating my ex-boyfriend and then
was like oh sorry
like high school is the worst thing ever
I really think that you should talk to
those initial friends that you did have
and tell them how bad your feelings are
hurt it's not worth losing a friendship
over
Laura D fell 3 asks what do you do if
someone won't leave you alone after
you've tried to get away from them you
know at some point it might turn into
being a stalker
oh no but really try to figure out if
they're okay because this sounds like
they're a little desperate and might be
hurting in some way Punkie 7:27 asks
about third party toxic friends she
asked what do I do if I'm friends with
somebody who has a toxic friend I think
that there is a certain way to approach
them about it without sounding like
you're manipulating them or that you're
coming off as a jealous friend I would
say you know Jenni I'm going to call her
Jesse I don't like the way that Sarah is
making you feel you know I've noticed
your mood has changed when you're around
this person
as your friend I just want to make sure
that they're treating you right and you
just don't want to come out off as this
person that's like welfare is not
treating you well so you need to get rid
of her it's my boss I think it's okay to
tell them but they might resist and push
back and act like you're being a jealous
friend and you know in the long run you
were trying to do the right thing also
you can't tell people what to do unless
they come for you you know at this point
you just need to give them advice and
given your two cents but you shouldn't
directly tell them that they need to get
rid of that friend a lot of people say
have them turn the lights on with you
don't turn the lights on for them if it
becomes a legitimately dangerous
situation where they're being harmed you
might need to get an adult involved
especially if they don't recognize the
abuse in the relationship you know I
think I learned something I think it's a
little bit of maturity that comes with
it but it's trying to understand why
someone is acting the way they are and
that means that there could be an
underlying reason that you should ask
about I think sometimes when we're stuck
in these toxic friendships we forget
that this other person is a person and
something could be going on so you just
have to bite the bullet and communicate
and just start the conversation and I
know that's super super hard to do
especially with introverted people
especially with antisocial people like
me it's very hard and especially if
you're a people pleaser I don't like
making people upset if it's going to
save a friendship you got to do it but
if they're just being a garbage friend
you got to take out the trash oh my God
look at that oh my god I'm sweating you
guys I'm sweating because this is how
much I hate confrontation okay well I
hope I help you guys I hope it helps you
to know that I got a little sweaty and
nervous talking about this because it's
not easy it's not easy to be a good
communicator or to cut someone out of
your life so if it was easier than you
thought
odds are there's
Rober your problem you know what I would
love to hear what your red flags are
your stories about how you got rid of
your toxic friendships or how you've
been able to repair friendships in the
past and maybe it'll help some other
people maybe you'll help me too I have
some toxic friends that I need to get
rid of I won't say who Jennifer no I'm
just kidding
be sure to give this video a big thumbs
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Guide because I'll be here every
Thursday talking about some crazy stuff
having some great people in and just me
and by myself like I do be sure to
follow me on instagram at Candi Lowry
and on Twitter
the Candice Lowry I guess we'll see you
guys next time bye
hopefully you're less toxic next time
see you later
[Music]
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