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How to Get Rid of Toxic Friends | Pour Decisions With Candace



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I'm sweating because this is how much I

hate conversation welcome back to poor

decisions with me Candace

today we're going to be talking about

toxic friends this is a particularly

hard subject for me because I hate

confrontation and I'm horrible at

dealing with conflict so I feel like

this will be very useful for both you

and me friendship can be a super cool

great thing and make you feel really

good about yourself but sometimes they

cannot be good for your mental health

and just really make you feel bad from

master manipulators to people that are

just really bad influences we're going

to talk about how to identify and

eventually get rid of those horrible

toxic friendships so cue that boys to

men to say goodbye so I'm going to do my

best to answer all the questions you

gave me and help you find the right

people to surround yourself with you

know I don't really know what I'm

drinking I was handed this it's nice and

green and toxic and I'm ingesting it and

that's going to be our theme today all

right so I asked you guys to send me

questions about dealing with your toxic

friendship situations and I'm just going

to stay it might get a little deep might

get a little uncomfortable but that's

what I'm here for so let's dive right in

so chocolate sleepy bear asks what is a

toxic friendship and what are some red

flags

well unfortunately a toxic friendship is

an array of possibilities

they're freeloaders they make you feel

bad about yourself discredit you

criticize you feel your man and don't

feel bad about it honestly some of them

are drama queens and they live for drama

and every part of our life is drama and

you know what we don't have time for

that

friendships are hard they're work but

they're also two-way streets if you feel

like you're putting in all the effort

and you're doing everything you can to

make this person happy it's not a

healthy relationship it shouldn't be

completely effortless but you should be

happy to see them and happy to be around

them and they should make you feel like

your best self which sounds very cheesy

but it's true hey it's Leigh

he asked how do I know if I'm in a toxic

friendship you know sometimes

friendships just come easily can go with

the flow and sometimes they are work but

you want to work together and it's a

two-way street

double-o quick asks how do you suggest

getting rid of these toxic people or

getting away from them in your life in

high school in college you're kind of

stuck with these people and it can feel

like you always have to deal with them I

was in musical theater it's drama city

there I just had to either confront

people or just try to live the

drama-free life by really kind of

avoiding them not know like I'm

intentionally not speaking to you but

just don't fall into the drama trap mara

pop 96 asks my rude for cutting these

toxic people out of my life and moving

on no you're not you're not rude

sometimes if people choose to bring you

down with them it's really just not good

for you I feel like a lot of people

aren't happy for their friends when they

succeed and that can be a big problem be

humble dezz eggs V Pina asks why is it

so hard to leave these toxic friendships

even though I know they're toxic leaving

any relationship is hard really because

you've spent so much time with them and

you've got to know them really well odds

are you're probably a good person and

don't want to hurt their feelings and

that's also another thing that you have

to deal with it's either you stick with

these people and you feel bad and you're

dragged down or you can just cut it off

it might hurt for a little bit but in

the long run you're doing yourself a

favor and these people might not know

the impact they're having on your life

in this toxic way talk about the

problems you've been having and what's

been going on you're not a perfect

person I'm not a perfect person they're

not a perfect person but they might not

know what's bothering you but if they

don't change kick them out you don't

need that crap load vandals we're just

name is crapload crap load x fandom asks

a pretty complicated question that I'm

sure people have dealt with what do you

do if your entire circle of friends is a

toxic group of friends but you're not

really that close to your family and

they're not all

present I think this can be a really

hard thing especially when you're trying

to grow up and find that really great

circle of friends so when you move to a

new place or a new school you have

friends out of convenience and sometimes

when those friendships get toxic you can

kind of feel like there's nowhere to go

especially if you're not that close to

your family but if you look at what

really makes you happy and those

activities join groups outside of school

or work and those friendships will

naturally come with it softy x oq ask

somebody so my friends away from me and

they hate me so I just stopped hanging

out with them is that the right thing to

do

oh softie I feel like I've been there

you know what I've been there especially

when my boyfriend dumped me and he took

all of my friends he broke up with me

and then they all hung out with him at

lunch and I sat alone at lunch and

watched them enjoy their lives at the

table and I was sitting alone eating my

tater tots and it was so fat one of my

best friends before I got dumped

started dating my ex-boyfriend and then

was like oh sorry

like high school is the worst thing ever

I really think that you should talk to

those initial friends that you did have

and tell them how bad your feelings are

hurt it's not worth losing a friendship

over

Laura D fell 3 asks what do you do if

someone won't leave you alone after

you've tried to get away from them you

know at some point it might turn into

being a stalker

oh no but really try to figure out if

they're okay because this sounds like

they're a little desperate and might be

hurting in some way Punkie 7:27 asks

about third party toxic friends she

asked what do I do if I'm friends with

somebody who has a toxic friend I think

that there is a certain way to approach

them about it without sounding like

you're manipulating them or that you're

coming off as a jealous friend I would

say you know Jenni I'm going to call her

Jesse I don't like the way that Sarah is

making you feel you know I've noticed

your mood has changed when you're around

this person

as your friend I just want to make sure

that they're treating you right and you

just don't want to come out off as this

person that's like welfare is not

treating you well so you need to get rid

of her it's my boss I think it's okay to

tell them but they might resist and push

back and act like you're being a jealous

friend and you know in the long run you

were trying to do the right thing also

you can't tell people what to do unless

they come for you you know at this point

you just need to give them advice and

given your two cents but you shouldn't

directly tell them that they need to get

rid of that friend a lot of people say

have them turn the lights on with you

don't turn the lights on for them if it

becomes a legitimately dangerous

situation where they're being harmed you

might need to get an adult involved

especially if they don't recognize the

abuse in the relationship you know I

think I learned something I think it's a

little bit of maturity that comes with

it but it's trying to understand why

someone is acting the way they are and

that means that there could be an

underlying reason that you should ask

about I think sometimes when we're stuck

in these toxic friendships we forget

that this other person is a person and

something could be going on so you just

have to bite the bullet and communicate

and just start the conversation and I

know that's super super hard to do

especially with introverted people

especially with antisocial people like

me it's very hard and especially if

you're a people pleaser I don't like

making people upset if it's going to

save a friendship you got to do it but

if they're just being a garbage friend

you got to take out the trash oh my God

look at that oh my god I'm sweating you

guys I'm sweating because this is how

much I hate confrontation okay well I

hope I help you guys I hope it helps you

to know that I got a little sweaty and

nervous talking about this because it's

not easy it's not easy to be a good

communicator or to cut someone out of

your life so if it was easier than you

thought

odds are there's

Rober your problem you know what I would

love to hear what your red flags are

your stories about how you got rid of

your toxic friendships or how you've

been able to repair friendships in the

past and maybe it'll help some other

people maybe you'll help me too I have

some toxic friends that I need to get

rid of I won't say who Jennifer no I'm

just kidding

be sure to give this video a big thumbs

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Guide because I'll be here every

Thursday talking about some crazy stuff

having some great people in and just me

and by myself like I do be sure to

follow me on instagram at Candi Lowry

and on Twitter

the Candice Lowry I guess we'll see you

guys next time bye

hopefully you're less toxic next time

see you later

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