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How to Deal with Toxic, Jealous, Insecure Coworkers



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he ambitious professionals it's Linda

Rayner of Linda Rayner calm guiding you

to a career and life you'll truly enjoy

now if you are currently in a situation

where you're dealing with jealous

gossipy bad-mouthing and insecure

co-workers then this video is for you

I'm going to discuss with you why it's

happening to you in the first place and

what you can do about it to overcome it

so stay tuned

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now as a career strategist I've had the

honour of being able to help numerous

corporate ambitious professionals just

like you to land their dream job offers

and if this is something that you're

interested in working with me one-on-one

I can give you details about that at the

end of this video now one of the common

questions that I get asked most often is

how to deal with toxic co-workers who

are insecure and who love to gossip and

talk about you in the workplace in fact

I get asked this question so often that

it made me realize how prevalent this

issue is and that that's the number one

reason why people leave companies not

because of the job itself but because of

the people that they work with and

because this topic is so important I

want to be able to share my advice with

you and as always I'm gonna be super

transparent and it's likely advice that

you haven't heard anywhere else so first

of all let's address the question of why

are these toxic co-workers targeting you

if you are feeling singled out and

picked on compared to everyone else in

the office then there may be a variety

of reasons for why that's happening

either you're amazing and you're doing

great and they're just simply jealous of

you or you are drawing it to yourself

and there is a difference trust me and

I'll explain but let's talk about the

first reason why they may be jealous of

you and that is that you are a strong

performer you do great at work you're

well-liked by your managers and other

co-workers but there happens to be this

small group of toxic co-workers who are

purely jealous of you let's talk about

those if you happen to think that maybe

they're actually just jealous of you

then the best way to overcome this is to

understand where that person that toxic

individual is coming from from an

emotional and mental standpoint so maybe

before you came along maybe before you

joined this team this departments this

company they happen to be the superstar

and then all of a sudden you

along and you outperform them in a

shorter period of time all of a sudden

they feel that their value and Worth has

decreased and they look at you as their

target for who they want to feel jealous

towards and who they want to show their

dislike towards so to put it simply they

feel threatened by your presence and

like I said earlier the way to overcome

this the antidote to all of this is for

you to understand them understand where

they're coming from because when you can

understand that they're feeling

threatened you can feel their sense of

insecurity and so it almost makes you

feel a bit of pity towards them you can

realize that they don't have enough self

love and self appreciation within

themselves to say that it's okay that

someone else came along and is doing a

great job you have to remember this if

someone is jealous of you because you

happen to be a better performer than

them or just more well-liked by others

than they are for whatever reason if

they happen to be jealous of you it's

because it has everything to do with

them and their insecurities and it has

actually nothing to do with you so just

to reiterate understanding is the key

understanding that person understanding

what's going on within them will help

you to lessen the impact of their words

and energy towards you and it's going to

help you to be able to deal with them on

a daily basis okay so that was reason

number one but if that's not the case if

you're not dealing with this feeling

that people are jealous of you then

there is another reason why you are

being targeted by these toxic

individuals and this is probably a

reason that I'll be honest you don't

want to hear but I'm just going to say

it and that is that you are feeling

negative towards your co-workers and

they're feeling negative towards you

because you already feel negative about

yourself and what happens is that

negative energy that's already within

you is amplified now

your external environment and it happens

to be at work where what you are feeling

on the inside is being reflected back to

you by the people on the outside I'll

explain this is a cold hard deep truth

that I really want you to know about and

to understand because I have seen it

firsthand where the way someone feels

about themselves and the energy that

they project and the thoughts that they

have in the beliefs that they hold on to

directly impact the results that they

are able to achieve in their everyday

lives for example if you were looking

for a better career looking for a new

job and you wanted to be able to get

that quickly it all does depend on not

only your experience and skills and all

that stuff but it also depends on how

you feel about your abilities and how

you feel about yourself and then how

that's projected to others so let me ask

you this over the last few years have

you been holding on to any insecure

unhappy low self-worth types of thoughts

how do you actually feel about yourself

on a daily basis this is a deep question

that I want you to be completely honest

with when you're answering for yourself

because this will open you up to an

understanding of potentially why you are

currently being targeted by these toxic

individuals at work so I go by a concept

that I've lived by for years now and I

honestly believe that it's it's the

truth it's just how life works and that

concept I've mentioned it before in

other videos is called the world is your

mirror what I mean by that is the world

will project back on to you what you are

currently already projecting from the

inside out so if you're someone who has

always felt that it's you against the

world that life is full of potential

enemies that you can't trust anyone

except for yourself or if you felt that

you have to always suppress your

emotions you can't be completely honest

and transparent otherwise that's a sign

of weakness or maybe you've always felt

that it's important

to put others first and then you end up

feeling as though you're a doormat now I

know that me bringing up this topic and

talking about it this way may make it

sound as though I'm blaming you for why

you're being treated badly at work and I

want you to understand and be very clear

about it right now that that is not what

I'm doing

I'm not blaming you but what I am doing

is I'm bringing to your attention some

potential areas within you that you may

not have been aware of your entire life

and that you may not have changed but

now you have the opportunity to because

what's gonna happen is that once you

bring awareness to these negative deeply

embedded beliefs that you potentially

have within you that's going to shift

the situation that you're dealing with

that work you're no longer gonna feel

like a target you're no longer gonna

feel as though you have no control

because you do have control and the only

person you have control over is yourself

and you have control over your beliefs

you have control over how you feel about

yourself and you have control over how

you project yourself every single day so

if you can shift these beliefs if you

can look within yourself and dig deep

and find areas where you do feel

insecure and times where you do feel low

confidence in times where you feel as

though you're not projecting the best

version of yourself if you can self

reflect and be honest with yourself

through that process then that's going

to help you to bring awareness to what

you can change and if you can change the

way that you feel about yourself like I

said it's going to change your entire

situation with these toxic individuals

at work so in essence what's happening

to you is actually a blessing because

now you can understand that if you've

been feeling not so great about yourself

because of what these naysayers have

been saying about you it's partially

because inside of you you've already

held on to similar beliefs that they

seem to be projecting onto you and

that's your opportunity now to change it

to shift it to eliminate these types of

beliefs and to replace them with more

self loving self appreciative and more

grateful

that you have towards yourself so enough

explaining let's make it practical what

can you do to shift these beliefs what I

want you to start doing or what I

suggest is that you find a quiet place

find a time in your day where you have

the opportunity to sit for 15 minutes 20

minutes half an hour an hour however

long you have and to then ask yourself

and be completely honest with yourself

how do I feel about myself what are the

thoughts and beliefs that I have about

myself on a daily basis and just let

your pen write what it needs to write on

that piece of paper and see what comes

up because there is a potential that not

all the thoughts and beliefs that you

have about yourself are fantastic and

that's great because if they aren't

fantastic if they aren't wonderful then

there's your opportunity to shift them

for example if you've been holding on to

a deep-seated belief that tells you that

you're just not good enough compared to

others for whatever reason whatever good

enough means then you want to ask

yourself what does that mean and what do

I actually feel about myself how do I

actually feel when I feel that I'm not

good enough but then once you've fully

analyzed that then you want to be able

to understand it understand where it

came from who taught me to believe that

I'm not good enough for example and then

once you understand all of that then

you're able to consciously shift that

belief and it's not gonna be as though

you're gonna say oh I'm not good enough

but now I'm amazing you're not going to

believe that if you're trying to switch

from such a negative thought to such a

drastic positive thought instead what

you want to do is you want to ask

yourself well what are the good

qualities that I have about myself what

are some traits that I have that I do

feel positive towards myself so that's

where you start and then that's where

you build your confidence and that's

where you also build more self-awareness

and you might be wondering so what's

going to happen with those toxic

co-workers is this going to change the

way they feel about me and the answer is

yes

you are going to notice a remarkable

difference in the way that they treat

you because what happens is that when

you feel differently about yourself when

you feel more positive about yourself

you start to carry yourself differently

you start to emit a different energy and

these toxic individuals they look to

feed off of low energy individuals and

if you're someone who has high vibrating

energy you're positive and you feel good

about yourself they don't have much to

latch on to and so you'll notice that

they maybe will stop targeting you as

much or they they'll just avoid you and

ignore you and they no longer get what

they're looking for which is a reaction

out of you

and that's because you've no longer

allowed them to provoke you so that's

the benefit of you becoming more

self-aware and identifying those deeply

embedded negative beliefs so there you

have it I really hope that this advice

that I'm sharing with you on how to deal

with toxic co-workers or just toxic

people in general is going to be helpful

and to end it off I wanted to share with

you an inspiring quote that I thought

was really fitting a man or woman cannot

be comfortable without his or her own

approval by Mark Twain

now if you happen to be on the hunt for

a new job and you haven't had much

success with getting interviews or

passing the interviews or finding that

amazing job offer that you deserve and

you realize that you need more help than

I have so many resources to help you I

have my free resume mastery workshop

which the link is in the description box

down below I have my free interview

strategy workshop which is brand new and

you can have access to as well and I

also have my one-on-one stand out get

hired coaching program which if you

realize that you want one-on-one

guidance directly from me then feel free

to head on over to my website fill in

the application form and from there one

of my team members will read your

application they'll see if you're a

match and from there reach out to you

directly so if you like

this video please give it a thumbs up

please subscribe thank you so much I

will see you in

next video

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