I'm Chris Voss
I'm a former lead international
kidnapping negotiator for the FBI and
I'm going to tell you how to get money
back from someone who owes you so the
first thing is to ask someone a know
oriented question where you get the
other side to say no to something that
benefits you you'll be stunned at what
people are willing to say no to so start
out by saying have you given up on
settling this reasonably with me there's
no way they're going to say yes to that
because people are afraid to say yes and
they don't know what that'll lead to
when they respond then articulate some
of the other things that are going on
inside of their mind I'm sure I seem
selfish I'm sure I seem self-centered
I'm sure it seems like I'm not even
looking out for what's best for you
these are all the things that the voices
in their head are saying anyway and
that's how you quiet the voice in their
head and then you say how will we settle
this reasonably let them answer you you
begin to have a plan that you can follow
that was their idea after all if it was
their idea it's a good idea you simply
then have them repeat whatever the
solution is three times that drills it
into their head we call that the rule of
three now you've got them in a position
where they're going to follow through
through the whole thing it's important
to remember to be nice never be mean to
someone who could hurt you by doing
nothing you want the best chance of
success and that's the way you get
you
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