Life Advice : How to Stop Being Bullied

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hi my name is Stephan wiener I am a

certified life coach and co-founder of

new me calm today's question is how to

stop being bullied the first thing you

need to know about being bullies is that

it's not your fault

so often people who are victims of

bullies have a sense of guilt or a sense

of feeling like they're the cause of the

problem and you want to eliminate those

thoughts secondly you want to seek some

help so you are not alone there are

people here who are willing to help you

maybe it's a parent maybe it's a teacher

maybe it's a friend but you do want to

go out and seek some help from other

people and you don't have to feel like

you're being a snitch or a tattletale

and the third point is that you want to

avoid being a target for bullies this is

the hardest part because at the end of

the day a bully is a person who is

looking for a particular type of

response from you and they are possibly

attacking you in a way that is

completely unprovoked so in a way you're

not at fault you're not the cause of it

and yet you don't want to add any more

fuel to the fire so when the bully comes

and attacks you he's looking or he or

she rather is looking for a particular

type of response they want you to cower

they want you to shy away run away cry

and you don't want to react in that way

instead you want to take them in as a

friend or an ally instead of an enemy

and so if someone for example is calling

you a fat so you might respond by saying

hey thanks for pointing that out I'm

trying to lose a little weight you have

any ideas for me so you see how that

deflects the energy of conversation so

you are no longer a victim and instead

you're bringing in the enemy as an ally

as a friend so I hope that helped good