How to encourage Your Husband
Practical ways to encourage your Husband | #BibiHeartChats
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hi meiosis Bibiana here and welcome back
to my channel so I'm really excited to
come Tuesday with a marriage related
video now I talked about in the past
about dating and courting with a purpose
but if it led to this kind of II do
actually get quite a few questions or
marriages and it's very clear there's
quite a big attack on them right now so
when they just give a little bit a tips
and advice and I guess encouragement for
the wives on how you know we can
encourage our husbands so what does it
mean to be an encourage so encourage us
I want to inspire hope and confidence
encourage another person you know
memorable with this innate desire to be
respected and the firm it's even in the
Bible that husband we should respect our
husbands and we should submit to them
but that's a whole nother topic we can
discuss later but why is it important
for us wives to encourage our husband
when kajol husband is going to soften
his heart it's gonna draw him closer to
us it's gonna feed his soul
you know nothing me energizes a man more
than little bit of encouragement from
his own wife so I want to start today by
you know just sharing a little bit of my
story and why you know I am so
passionate about being intentional about
my marriage and one of those ways is
encouraging my husband now I'll go away
but you know we have three kids right
now we just celebrate our four year
anniversary and you know this marriage
is beautiful and I think God for it
every day but we've definitely have our
challenges and you know daily we are
intentional about making this marriage
work no marriage is perfect the respect
of what you see out there everybody it
takes work to make a marriage you know
be fruitful and happy and everything
that you know you see now so I always
tell you a little story I think the
turns must have been about eight weeks
old so we have zero twins right now and
a one month old baby so it's good for
about eight weeks old and salmon girl
and the husband gone back to work he's
finished paternity leave so I'd had the
truth for a while and you know it it
wasn't easy
you know it isn't easy at all to be able
to you know any moms the Twins will know
the stroke or even Mama's in general
know what you know it's tough with
babies and they've been fussing all day
and I had really tied a and I'll see you
still kind of Sam coming home and just
been there you know he's a really happy
guys that just to come home and take the
kids off my hands and tell me how
amazing I've been and we talking
everything
and then this time he came home and he
just like said the door to his back on
the floor and just went upstairs and I
remember I'd made the house smell nice
and stuff and he kind of just like was I
smell and he just was fussing then went
upstairs and I was upset the nunim I was
I was pretty mad to be honest because
she like took time you know the house
was clean the kids were you know I found
everything and I can understand why he
was so mad but I ended up internalizing
it and being really upset with him and
you know you start going through this
role playing your head off like I don't
care what kind of day he said they can't
compare to mine what I've been through
and I was even thinking you know just
crazy things I wanna throw away his food
and I was just I was just too prone to
getting really really upset and in May
with Hines else and it was completely
irrational but at the time you know
especially when you've had those really
tough day with the kids all you want is
for someone to say well done and I
didn't get that that day and that's why
I've been used to for so long so just
we're not in the midst of my own you
know
cray-cray gate Mads and everything you
know I just heard this voice Holy Spirit
to say you know go upstairs and see how
he's doing
and like what see see how he's doing
does he know what I've been through or
data's he know it's like being home with
twins with eight week old twins you
don't want to sleep and exclusively nice
in them and all that stuff and now that
he wasn't always like what you mean see
how he's doing even if I saw heisting
how bad can this day be you know just
keep on yeah a fight argument got pretty
much saying I want to do it and I heard
it again and you know when I say took
all of me it took all of me to go
upstairs and then be calm and that she
say those words out of my mouth but as
soon as I got upstairs I look to him and
he's like a little slump in his shoulder
he he looked his usual self and I just
said to him babe are you okay what's
going on what you know how's your day
been what's wrong
and he just unloaded to me he'd pretty
much just told me all the stuff he'd
been going through and that's the first
time he'd really vented to me and I
don't remember what I said that day but
I remember I just sat with him we talked
and I gave him the biggest hug and I
didn't think anything of it but that
night when we finished dinner I went to
bed I really just turned to me just
saying thank you so much um you know if
you're listening to me and for talking
to me say and the whole time I was
thinking oh my gosh what trouble my big
mouth could've caused if I just you know
walked by my own flesh and walked based
on my own feelings and said some of the
creepy things I really wanted to say to
him that day you know what can of worms
I could've opened you know we will end
up with massive unnecessary fight and
all I had to do was just spend a few
minutes to listen to him and see how it
was and you know and that all comes from
you know being attentive and listening
to God as well so I tell the story
because proverbs talks about a wise
woman build her home but foolish one
tears it down and you have to be careful
it's very easy for you to work so hard
to build this marriage up and just tear
it down with this with our mouth so we
really have to be careful with what we
say and so I said this video will focus
more on tips on how to be encouraging
life I told you that story because from
that moment I kind of realized something
I realized something that you know the
devil was really after marriages that
means periods talks about we have to be
sober-minded I'm watchful because then
we passed around like a lion looking for
someone to devour
you know this home that you've worked so
hard to build up yet remember there's
someone out there that's an enemy out
there who's looking for any opportunity
to just tear down on everything you've
built up and especially marriages and me
as wife cannot afford to give him a
foothold in our marriages so we have to
be intentional about making a weapon and
one of the ways that you intentional
about a marriage is to be encouraged as
to our husband so I hope you know that
story I just wanna share with you
because that's one that just really
opened up my eyes to being a lot more
intentional about our marriage and so I
hope these knowing the about seven tips
helped you go it's got some tips on how
we as wise can encourage our husbands so
number one tip is prayer I believe
prayer is fundamental it is key to a
successful marriage you know marriage is
a three-fold cord of Christ at the
center so you have to make sure that
Christ is the first and the most
important person
your marriage now it's kind of funny
because as women remember those nights
we prayed fasted whatever we did just
you know in anticipation for that man
and now we got the ring and everything
we stopped praying in fact we just
started complaining
one thing I tell people is I prayed for
my husband and I'm still praying now so
we have to remember you know if we're
praying or we're trying to fuss and try
to change this man and complain about
him maybe what change a man only Christ
can I love the same the only timing to
actually change a man is when he's in
diapers so instead of complaining and
fussing one thing one could do is maybe
go to your husband and ask him you know
baby say anything you want me to pray
about in particular and you know I think
it's something so beautiful especially
for a man to know that it's his wife
who's standing in the dreaming with him
and prayer over something you know I
want to be a prayer worried for my
husband and for my family and one of
those key things is that you spend time
in prayer individually so quiet time is
so important and collectively as a
family with your husband particularly so
my second tip is why not write him a
little note or poem and the cute text
message you know all that cute stuff you
used to do when you're dating or even
the feasts at work all day like mine you
could send them a little message during
the day just to ask him how his day is
going tell him that you miss him with me
with the kids all day sometimes they
send them a cute picture of what we've
been up to or if you can make it lunch
in the one you can put a little note
they are encouraging Bible first and
they'll be so excited for him to open it
when it gets to work just you know
encourage him during the day any human
get creative why not say you know I
can't wait for you to get home we're
going to put the kids to bed tonight
make your favorite meal and you know we
can have a little fun you know get
creative you guys are married after all
and this is not about sending him a list
of groceries like oh we need the onions
there can you pick up milk yes I know
you need to send those messages every
now and then but I'm talking about you
know regularly daily just letting him
know that you are thinking about him now
just ask yourself is your home somewhere
your husband enjoys coming to it right
you know men are if you have enough
precious to deal with our work why not
make it coming home the highlight of his
day all right the third tip is to watch
our tongue
before if I'd really said what's on my
mind that day I was told my husband down
rather than building him up a lot of
times we have to take responsibility for
what we say as well and not make excuses
like oh I was hormonal that day you know
I was pregnant recently and being
heavily pregnant in summer and having
told us to take care
most people say oh you have any excuse
to let your hormones rule you and say
wherever you want but no I have to
control my own emotions so I didn't say
something silly I would regret later I
first want to love the book of Proverbs
because it talks about that part of
nagging life which we do not want to
because it says it's annoying as a
constant trip or it's bear for a man to
live alone in the deserted island than
with a nagging complaining woman so you
really don't want to be that woman and
the thing is men don't usually like
confrontation that would just cause your
husband to withdraw and then one more
like my husband would silent and that's
because he can't really communicate well
with someone who's constantly nagging
him so then yous gonna end up in a
situation where you're not really
solving the problem and one thing I like
to do is imagine if somebody else
another woman said all those nagging
complaining negative things to my
husband how I would feel all right so
next one is to be playful
you know unions were meant to be best
friends so most of your conversation
resolve around work and bills and
finances it's just like a recipe for
disaster and I know that can be tough
especially maybe if you work together
but it's really important to make sure
that you have fun in your relationship
and do things which don't involve those
stressful tasks so you can maybe go for
a bike ride the chasm creative date
night ideas or just go for a little last
menu getaway nothing too expensive or
you can even do a staycation we just
have fun together and enjoy each other
you know you could even send them some
cute little message like come with you
to get home and put the kids to bed
tonight and we'll have a little fun you
know you are married so why not get back
to being creative and funny like the
next one is to be your husband's biggest
cheerleader both publicly and privately
now it's a way you speak about him to
others show that you respect him or you
constantly criticizing complaining about
him if you're sure about the answer ask
yourself this if someone was to describe
your husband
based purely on the way you speak about
him what would they say you know always
remember that listening ear is always a
running mouth and how sweet would it be
if that running mouth reported something
amazing some amazing report about your
husband now to remember this is so much
bigger than the two of you we have to be
careful not to ruin our witnesses as
husband and wife you know so how
powerful is a witness of a couple who
speak highly of one another and it's not
only important to speak you know
encouraging words about your husband
both publicly but also privately there's
a way you speak to him show that love
the poor talks about in Corinthians you
know the law like on the wedding day
love is patient love is kind love
doesn't rejoice and wrongdoing well you
can't see saying I told you so I told
you this won't work you know where they
come to you with that big vision or
business venture in success or in
failure knowing that you are cheering
him on from the sidelines it's just so
encouraging for any husband next thing
is don't forget to appreciate his jokes
it's very easy for us as women and their
wives to find little things that we find
annoying about our husbands and just
point them out especially when you think
oh he just doesn't think the way I think
why didn't you wash up why did he leave
the toilet seat up why's the laundry not
put inside the laundry basket or
something like that but the thing is we
have to learn to you know find the
smallest thing to just show you're
grateful for and just appreciate in him
and tell him that you appreciate it
maybe he puts the kids to bed maybe he's
hungry for the word maybe he does help
you out with the dishes
maybe he makes you laugh and just
remember to keep on telling him that
those things you find amazing about him
you know the truth is inside most men is
a king and a fool and you keep on
criticizing and nagging and complaining
about him but you're just gonna feed the
foolish side and that's what you're
gonna get but if you encourage the king
in him then that's what you didn't start
seeing developing but my final point
says remember to listen to your husband
it's very easy first of why's he
complain saying oh my husband doesn't
listen to me and to my needs or a lot of
when we complain saying well he comes
home late from work or he seems distant
and some of those we have to ask myself
this question with a husband really want
to come home to an egg in critical wife
likes a lot men just don't like that
confrontation or maybe it's because
you're concentrating to keep up with the
Joneses you know you're complaining to
him saying why does our house not look
like this we all have a car like them we
don't go on holidays like so-and-so and
now he's causing China work hard to keep
up with your expectations which
sometimes can be very superficial but
was he keeping him working hard and then
you know he's not able to come home on
time you know the thing is everybody has
a breaking point that's why so important
to listen to you know your husband and
he's either gonna unload his feelings to
an encouraging wife or to someone else
who's willing to listen and provide that
source of encouragement he should be
getting from home now wife's let's not
give the enemy that open during so much
for watching I hope this video gave you
some ideas and how to encourage your
husband and ultimately build happier
stronger marriages and I'd love to hear
any ideas you have on how to encourage
your own spouse so list them down below
I'm sure the people can learn from that
as well so thanks again for watching be
sure to LIKE comment and subscribe and I
shall see you in my next video very last
