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knock knock hi is this HR yes yes come
in
I'm sorry am I interrupting oh no no I
was just enjoying some paperwork but
break time's over welcome to HR you must
be the new hire yep I start on Monday
well the first order of business is
choosing a health insurance plan have
you looked over the options I did but
it's a little confusing
of course if it made sense it wouldn't
be U.S Healthcare let's look at the menu
the the menu yeah we repurposed it from
the Cheesecake Factory it was the only
thing that was big enough uh okay so you
can choose the high premium low
deductible plan or the high deductible
HSA well how much is there's also the
PPO the PPO plus the HMO and the CMO
what is the CMO Comfort measures only
insurance will kick in as soon as you
lay down in your deathbed it covers a
business Zoom subscription so you can
say goodbye to your family and friends
and a daily cookie oh chocolate chip
oatmeal raisin
well what about this plan that plan only
covers diseases which have been
eradicated isn't that just smallpox well
we think guinea worm disease is on its
way out
well what else is there
I'm so glad you asked so this plan gives
you customer service or you can upgrade
to this plan where the customer service
is kind of helpful this plan will cover
all Chiropractic adjustments but will
not cover any subsequent devastating
complications with this plan you get to
ensure an organ of your choosing I
recommend brain the insurance company
approves your claim but a random claim
from somebody else is immediately denied
it's like The Purge but for 12 hours
there are no prior authorizations you
can only be operated on by med students
veterinarian care only only one hospital
is in a network but you won't know which
one you have to guess and with this plan
everything is covered
oh Insurance Executives only sorry
anyway what do you think I don't know I
guess I'll just go with the HSA great
choice and all the plans come with a
complimentary GoFundMe page uh I don't
need a GoFundMe
not yet
